Haven for the Human Amoeba

Hello everyone. My name is Juni and I am new here.

Any 20 or 30-something women in Washington, DC or Atlanta? I'm a young DC-based professional SWM (who travels often to Atlanta) looking for friendship and possibly romance without pressure for sex. Send me an email if you'd like to chat: warmas2001@...

Wow, I never knew that I was asexual. I always thought that I was weird or messed up, but after researching asexualty I realize that I am just like everybody else...........not wierd, just individual. I am glad to be a member of this site and look forward to meeting/talking with people online. I hope I hear from anyone who cares to talk. Whew!!!! Thank goodness I am normal.

I feel the same way. I've been happy with my lack of a sex drive but I thought I was the only one. Now I know that I'm not.

Hi I've been skimming over some of the messages lately. I have a few things to say. Personally I really don't care why I am asexual. It could be hormonal. It could be due to some experiences I've had. It could be because of the position of the stars when I was born. ( I'm being facetious as I'm not into astrology.) I really don't care. I am not hurting anyone and I am quite happy. I recenly underwent an extensive psychological test and I came out just fine. I have had sex quite a few times so I do know what I am "missing". I don't miss it at all. I would like to be in a relationship with a man who is either asexual or who chooses not to have sex or who cannot have sex and accepts himself. It doesn't have to be a deep commitment. I'd like someone to talk with and maybe go out once in awhile. I know there are others who feel the same way but they are either female or way younger than I am. Sometimes I feel bad being the only person in a group without a spouse or a date. I would just like some good conversation with a man who accepts me as I am. I like simple thing in life like taking walks, geting together with friends. I was married and I have children ( my asexuality did not cause my marital problems. I divorced for other reasons.) Two of my children are grown now. I am 49 and live in NY state. email relationships are nice but I'd really like a face to face relationship. It doesn't have to be marriage or seeing each other all the time. I'd like to take things one step at a time. I'd like to wish you all the best. I'm so glad I found this group.

hi ..pleased 2 find your group...im a gay male..in a long term relationship(5 years)...and im realising i think im asexual...anyone in similar circumstance??

Me too! Except.. sorta... I *am* glad to know that I'm not being a complete dolt and or freak when I get grossed out over 3-letter-word (sexuality minus uality) but I know I'm still wierd... and i don't really care that much.. but then again, I was wierd before I realized that there appeared to be something "wrong" with my sexuality so yippee for us. "Whew!! Thank goodness I am normal." Baaaaah.

Laura

Are there any foods or over the counter medications (herbs, vitamins, supplements) that contain significant enough amounts of estrogen to produce substantial male breast growth? I would really like to have nice size "C" breasts.

Hi! I'm new here too, and very happy to have found this group! Anyone else from Sweden?

I see no reason why a male and female asexual can't fall in love and marry. They just don't have sex and that is their own business. If they want children they can either adopt or the woman can be artifically inseminated with the mans sperm. Once you have a child to love does it really matter how he or she got to you? I would be very interested in finding someone to pairbond with. I take it that means a male female relationship that is more thna friendship but does not involve sex. I will post another message about that so this one is not too long. I totally understand the desire to have a special someone and to raise a family and still not have a sexual relationship.

I would love to have a relationship like that, and I might actually almost get it too :-) This summer I will try to get pregnant by insemination with a very close gay friend as a father - if we succeed we will live together as siblings and raise the kid/-s together :-))) (And I won't be jealous of his boyfriend since he gives me what I want most!)

A penis hangs between your legs and frequently gets pinched when you walk or sit. When the testicles get pinched or bumped, it really hurts.

-science told me this awhile ago...

One option is to wear snug fitting jockey shorts or panties. However, this frequently pinches your penis and testicles and creates an unsightly bulge in the front of your trousers.

-maybe you should stick to boxers or something?

The penis is very sensitive and always feels like it needs to be relieved through ejaculation (either sex or masturbation). Who enjoys having that feeling all the time? When you see a beautiful woman and your thoughts focus on her, those feelings become unbearable and the penis frequently becomes erect and sticks out in

-um why do some guys either not like sex at all or are gay then?

your pants. This is very uncomfortable and embarrassing.

Women feel that the penis is great for peeing. However, it is more of an inconvenience. Pulling it out through the fly of your pants pinches and restricts the flow and makes it almost impossible to totally empty the bladder. You can't totally control the urine flow and it frequently splashes on the toilet, on the floor and on your pants. You frequently get the last squirt after tucking it back in your pants, leaving a wet spot right in the front of your trousers.

-maybe you should wait till after that last squirt to tuck it back in?

You also have to hang it out in front of other guys at the urinal as privacy partitions are not provided. If you choose to sit and the penis is semi-erect or erect it is almost impossible to direct it into the toilet bowl. Women can sit and relax and totally empty their bladder without being concerned about any of these problems.

-um maybe guys should protest against having to use urinals (I wouldnt want to use one either)

These are only a few of the disadvantages of the penis. The only real function of the penis (and enjoyment provided by it) is sex and impregnation. These functions account for such a small proportion of the time that they do not fully compensate one for all of the inconveniences of having a penis.

Be thankful for your pussy and all of the advantages, which it provides. It's only disadvantage is menstruation and doctors will willingly eliminate that with a hysterectomy on request if you do not desire to have any more children. You can then have sex whenever you desire it, without any of the inconveniences.

P.S. Also, if you are a male (with or without a penis), society does not allow you the convenience and comfort of wearing a skirt (or other feminine styled items).

-which society? Females usually dont complain about guys actually wearing dresses instead of insulting them so it must be the male half?

Be thankful for your pussy and all of the advantages, which it provides. It's only disadvantage is menstruation and doctors will willingly eliminate that with a hysterectomy on request if you do not desire to have any more children. You can then have sex whenever you desire it, without any of the inconveniences.

There's an easier way although I don't know what the side effects would be, if any: just take birth control pills nonstop. I never tried it but was occasionally tempted to. Now of course, I'm old enough I don't need to and that's great, it's like a second childhood for me, without the disadvantage of parents.

(-:

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Actually, I've heard somewhere... (so vague, sorry) that asexuality is actually ideal. It doesn't really make sense to me, since we DO need to reproduce... but I guess the whole hype from the Church about sex being bad created this idea... but the best is to not have sexual desire but its OK to be in a marriage and play that out with one person, instead of just sleeping around... I personally don't think its good or bad. How can it be evil? It may be good in some ways, too- ever yone can be sure we won't rape people or anything. But, as I said, we need to reproduce, if we actually want to continue this human race... why, not sure... bwaahahaha. Um, yes, thats what I have to say... but yes, I am religious, I believe in God and Jesus, Christianity, mostly... not so sure about the "devil" though but thats a completely separate topic...

Good day, friends!

Laura

seems I got another spam this week from someone trying to sell me this "woman attracting musk"..

does anyone really USE that stuff? (I think its 21st Century Snake Oil)

Hi everyone. I'm one of the original members (#15?), but I haven't been on in a LONG time. I can't believe how many people have joined!!! Anyways, I was wondering how many people in their mid 20s or later are 'out' to their families &/or other people they are close to. My youngest brother is gay & has come out to my parents. I feel like they would have an easier time accepting his homosexuality than my asexuality. I just turned 27 & the last few years have deflected a lot of questions from relatives & friends about when I'm going to start dating again (it's been over 7 years). It's pretty easy to brush them off with "I'm too busy to date" (it's true), but the older I get the more 'suspicious' they seem to be getting. I think they might think I'm a closet lesbian or something. lol. Anyways, only my best friend (a gay guy) & my other best friend/cousin know. I'm just wondering what everyone's experiences with this are. I'm also curious if women feel this pressure more than men. As a woman that appears to be the case. Thanks.

I'm also curious if women feel this pressure more than men. As a woman that appears to be the case. Thanks.

It's the opposite with my family. The last time anyone asked when I was going to get married was at my middle sister's wedding, over 25 years ago! Lately, my brother (five years younger than me) finally announced his engagement so now I'm the last one, and as the oldest, I would logically have been first. I think people kind of figure I'm going to be single forever by now because women who are in their 40's and never married usually tend to stay that way.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi [email protected] / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Hi everyone. I'm one of the original members (#15?), but I haven't been on in a LONG time. I can't believe how many people have joined!!!....

I have the same problem, but the only difference is that I am a male, age 20. When I revealed that I was asexual, many just believed it was for religious reasons or I was some sort of late bloomer. Society is full of images of people – even gay and lesbian couples – having relationships involving sex (the heterosexual's ones imply it through children). It is taught that the ambitions of any person are to find a mate and somehow live out that love through sex. I think some theologian wrote that sex was a "physical manifestation of spiritual attachment," "a confirmation of the feelings," and "contracts of the flesh," implying sex was some religious ritual and those who don't perform it are disobeying their purpose.

At my synagogue I go to, I am constantly harassed by the rabbi's wife as to why I am not dating such and such. In the prayers we read during the service, they are constantly reminding what good Jewish boys and girls should aspire to – a family. The Talmud makes single persons, especially men, seem selfish and undeserving. Some of the rabbis claimed it was removing them from ever feeling G-d resting this belief on the relationship of children to parent is creation to G-d.

Nevertheless, even in my peers seem me as awkward. The gay straight alliance I belong to refuses to acknowledge such a thing as "asexual." Much like their original hostility toward bisexuality, they saw it as a denial of something or refusing to acknowledge emotions. Some humoured the conversation by saying – what you produce by yourself? A small sum claimed it was just an attempt to show that one can deny and live a happy life by not acknowledging one's sexual identity.

I think it is hard for society to acknowledge the corner stone of marketing, movies, and other entertainment, sex, might not be what everyone wants.

I wasn't aware that asexuals had to "come out" like gays have to. I have never felt the need to tell anyone accept whoever is trying to become intimate with me. I have told some people however but not in such a conscious way as that. These people obviously need to know. I guess some people feel the pressure to "come out".

I find it so amazing though how sexual people are so bewildered by asexualism. It's like trying to grasp the vastness of the universe..you can't quite put your mind around it. I need companionship though so I am still in that place where I am sacrificing my self sexually to my partner(s)in exchange for companionship. You can't find someone that just wants to enjoy the purity and sincerity of cuddling with out anything sexual.

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

There are 2 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Hello again! & Coming out? From: being_myself_in_chicago 2. Re: Hello again! & Coming out? From: tlshell@...

---

---

Message

1

Date

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 21:27:16 -0000

From

being_myself_in_chicago

Subject

Hello again! & Coming out?

Hi everyone. I'm one of the original members (#15?), but I haven't been on in a LONG time. I can't believe how many people have joined!!! Anyways, I was wondering how many people in their mid 20s or later are 'out' to their families &/or other people they are close to. My youngest brother is gay & has come out to my parents. I feel like they would have an easier time accepting his homosexuality than my asexuality. I just turned 27 & the last few years have deflected a lot of questions from relatives & friends about when I'm going to start dating again (it's been over 7 years). It's pretty easy to brush them off with "I'm too busy to date" (it's true), but the older I get the more 'suspicious' they seem to be getting. I think they might think I'm a closet lesbian or something. lol. Anyways, only my best friend (a gay guy) & my other best friend/cousin know. I'm just wondering what everyone's experiences with this are. I'm also curious if women feel this pressure more than men. As a woman that appears to be the case. Thanks.

---

---

Message

2

Date

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 18:47:11 -0700

From

tlshell@...

Subject

Re: Hello again! & Coming out?

On 26 Apr 2003, 21:27 +00:00, being_myself_in_chicago said:

I'm also curious if women feel this pressure more than men. As a woman that appears to be the case. Thanks.

It's the opposite with my family. The last time anyone asked when I was going to get married was at my middle sister's wedding, over 25 years ago! Lately, my brother (five years younger than me) finally announced his engagement so now I'm the last one, and as the oldest, I would logically have been first. I think people kind of figure I'm going to be single forever by now because women who are in their 40's and never married usually tend to stay that way.

---

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

---

---

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/

[email protected]

---

Do you Yahoo!? Win a $20,000 Career Makeover at Yahoo! HotJobs http://hotjobs.sweepstakes.yahoo.com/careermakeover

Hello NO ONE, I want companionship too but I do not want the physical intimacy you spoke of in your relationship. For me, I cannot sacrifice myself for the companionship. It is too big of a request for me to fill.

I hope some day you can find the companionship you desire without the sexuality.

Jen

I wasn't aware that asexuals had to "come out" like gays have to. I have never felt the need to tell anyone accept whoever is trying to become intimate with me. I have told some people however but not in such a conscious way as that. These people obviously need to know. I guess some people feel the pressure to "come out".

I find it so amazing though how sexual people are so bewildered by asexualism. It's like trying to grasp the vastness of the universe..you can't quite put your mind around it. I need companionship though so I am still in that place where I am sacrificing my self sexually to my partner(s)in exchange for companionship. You can't find someone that just wants to enjoy the purity and sincerity of cuddling with out anything sexual.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello, all, My name is Terrence, and I'm an asexual transman living in ALaska. I don't have any attractions to any gender, and I've always pretty much been satisfied with things that way. I finally acknowledged that some things I do probably qualify as masturbation, an answer to the annoying distractions from what I like to call the "annoying dryer buzzer effect". I'm not repulsed by any of it, morally or otherwise; just annoyed that it takes up time I could be using for other things. It's just inopportune. So where's the off switch? And if this is too outlandish or out there for you all, just tell me and I'll shut up.

Terrence van Ettinger Yahoo: terrencevane AOL: terrence vane

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gaymonogamousrelationships/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/platonicrelationships/

"Stumbled" upon this group and AVEN yesterday.I had no idea there were other ppl like me about sex.I am 31,no children and married twice.I have tried for many years to "like" sex-did it to please my spouses. I have always been this way about sex and was not sexually abused or raped so no "reason" to be this way but I am.I like non- sexual caring(cuddling,"spooning") but no sex.I even find tongue kissing repulsive.I have told I am defective,"something " wrong with me,not normal,etc.I am relieved to have not have dated for a while and no relationship for over 5 years-very liberating to not have to something I don't want to do.I do not even masterbate.I had no clue there were others like me as far as this goes.I would like to meet a man but have long ago accepted the fact I will probably be alone and have actually been happier,it is better than trying to fit in a part of society I have never belonged nor I feel comfortable in.Thank you for reading this and for being here so I can post this-I do not feel like such a "freak" since discovering all this and AVEN.Thank you.

I was really surprised to come across an old livejournal community about asexuality, but not so surprised to find that I connected with it.

I've always had a sex drive, but it's been directed toward the pleasureable feelings and not towards a person/people. The thought of being intimate with someone has always grossed me out. The few times I've kissed someone I've wanted nothing more than to get out of the situation and have had to consciously control the urge to push them away. I've even thought, and may have made a comment to a friend, that I was asexual, but with the media and society as it is, I always sort of assumed that it was just a matter of finding a the right person (or that I was a seriously late bloomer).

Maybe it is, but the fact is I haven't had sex, I don't want to have sex, and I'm not going to or even try to for the foreseeable future.

hi ..pleased 2 find your group...im a gay male..in a long term relationship(5 years)...and im realising i think im asexual...anyone in similar circumstance?? Oh yeah

Hey folks,

I want to apologize for the delay in many, many posts. As you folks know, I moderate posts to avoid flaming and spam. Unfortunately, my home computer broke about two months ago, and I haven't been able to do much with the group since. My only internet access is at work, and for obvious reasons I'm not comfortable with moderating this club with my co-workers sitting right next to me and breathing down my neck...never mind the fact that I'm usually too busy at work for this sort of thing.

Just a heads up...I'm not buying a new computer for a LOOOOONG time, but I'll do what I can.

Apologies,

drksparkle

(moderator)

Just a heads up...I'm not buying a new computer for a LOOOOONG time, but I'll do what I can.

Well, would it help that I saw an article recently about building a $500 computer for basic web browsing, e-mail, etc.? If you still have some parts from your "busted" computer, you can reuse them to cut costs even further.

http://www.extremetech.com/article2/0,1558,1586081,00.asp

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/