Haven for the Human Amoeba

I have said it before, and I will keep saying it. Catgegories are and comparisons are probably helpful, but they are very crude in defining human sexuality. Especially when defining people who don't proclaim to want to get laid at every opportunity. I have romantic feelings and attractions, and I am capable of erotic arousal.

I do not (and never will I) associate genital penetration with love or romance---and I suspect this is true for a lot of people. Remember the song: What's love got to do with it?

Next, I do not (and never will I) associate erotic arousal with a desire to sexually penetrate somebody.

Straights supposedly prefer genital penetration with members of the opposite sex. Gays supposedly prefer genital penetration with members of the same sex. This implies that gays and straights prefer to sexually penetrate. Why does anybody have to want to do that? Even if one wants to sexually penetrate, how often is this desire suppose to occur?

I have had sex, with quite a few partners. Been there, and done that. Of course, I am 50 something, and I don't need to be doing that anyway. But essentially my sex has been as much out of curiosity as anything. I am not curious (about that) anymore.

I declare that my orientation is "no genital penetration". The kind of woman that arouses my romantic ardor is the woman who either hates sex, or at least has a strong preference to not participate.

Type A—Do not experience romantic attraction, but are able to get aroused. They have no drive to engage in sex. In other words, they're stuck in neutral.

Type B—Experience romantic attraction, but have no sex drive. They want to explore, but the stick shift is jacked.

Type C—Capable of both arousal and romantic attraction, but have no drive to put the two together. There just isn't enough gas.

Type D—Feel neither attraction nor arousal. This is the most common type of asexual. These people prefer to avoid driving altogether.

While the system is helpful for identifying different levels of asexuality, it doesn't explain how those conditions surfaced. Most researchers can only describe asexuality through better-established conditions.

Donald Strassberg, a University of Utah psychology professor whose research interests include sexual function and sexual dysfunction, thinks asexuality could be explained by two different—but likely related—disorders. The first one, hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), pertains to individuals who, given the opportunity to have sex, will either pass or take it without applause.

"These people don't seem to get horny," he said. "

Those afflicted by HSDD don't fantasize about sex, however they might consider getting frisky if it means pleasing their romantic partner. When it comes to HSDD, sex is the taste equivalent of Top Ramen noodles—a cheap, low- nutrition option that will do in a pinch. Sexual Aversion Disorder (SAD), on the other hand, describes those who go out of their way to avoid intercourse. In this case, sex and pleasure exist as polar opposites. There is no middle ground, no occasional hanky- panky for the sake of others.

I can sympathise with you! I have been doing a lot of surfing and have noticed that there really isn't anything out there. It looks like AVEN made somewhat of an attempt with the Meet up catagory where people can just dump postings all in one vat so to speak. Then trying to search through all those can take hours.

I am begining to see that it is a waste of time. It looks like most people who classify themselves as asexual really don't want to have any type of relationship at all.

My first couple of posts here on this board got only two responses, so it looks like I might not fit in here myself. This may be a predominately young group of people on here, so there may be a generation gap thing as well. I am not putting this group down, I just don't think I have too much in common with the folks here.

I don't know myself what the correct avenue is to search for likeminded people is. I always thought, "well search within my interest groups" but tro try to find someome that wants a relationship with no sex within any group is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

I may have to think of other words to describe myself and "google" from there. The only two phrases I have been able to come up with are "celibate" and "asexual" so far.

Sorry I can't give you any useful advice, if I could, I would take it :-). Just another shoulder to cry on.

Good luck

Has anybody figured out a dating site for celibates? Seems like there are asexuals here and there, but no place for people to meet who are interested in a relationship. The aven site does not offer anything along those lines does it? One problem I have with lots of people who post here, or in aven, is to determine the age. I am in my 50s and there are few and far between women who are in my age range who get on the internet---and who are asexual. My peeve is: people don't post age & gender---wish they did.

I have said it before, and I will keep saying it. Catgegories are and comparisons are probably helpful, but they are very crude in

So how about refining the categories?

I have romantic feelings and attractions, and I am capable of erotic arousal.

Without trying to get into defining "romantic" at the moment, I would say that someone who is capable of erotic arousal is not what *I* would define as asexual.

I do not (and never will I) associate genital penetration with love or romance---and I suspect this is true for a lot of people.

<snip>

Straights supposedly prefer genital penetration with members of the opposite sex. Gays supposedly prefer genital penetration with members of the same sex. This implies that gays and straights prefer to sexually penetrate.

No--straights *experience erotic arousal* in connection with members of the opposite sex, and if they are sexually active and have their choice of partners, prefer *sexual contact* with members of the opposite sex. And gays *experience erotic arousal* in connection with members of the same sex, and if sexually active and free to choose partners they're attracted to (as opposed to choosing opposite-sex partners due to homophobic pressures), prefer *sexual contact* with members of the same sex.

"Sexual contact" is not limited to genital penetration! There are many people who engage in many different types of sexual contact, and have active and satisfying sex lives, without genital penetration. One person used to write to my former newsletter about "non-intercourse-oriented sex." The feelings she described were clearly erotic, and the acts she wrote about clearly constituted sexual contact, yet she did not want genital penetration. This is not being asexual.

I declare that my orientation is "no genital penetration".

Then maybe you are like the woman who used to write to my newsletter. Maybe there should be a specific term, and mail groups and web sites, etc., for people whose preferred types of sexual contact do not include genital penetration.

But I'm not comfortable calling it "asexuality." I am tired of finding myself in situations with people who (I thought) understood from the outset that my relationships with them would not be sexual, only to find that they want me to perform or permit some sort of non-penetrative sexual contact. I want to be able to feel secure in the knowledge that if I agree to explore an "asexual" relationship, I'm not going to end up hearing, "Part of my feelings for you are sexual, because that's just part of intimacy for me"--followed by "Can't we do X?" or "Why won't you do Y?" or "PLEEEEZE let me do Z???", or just grabbing me or jumping on me or rubbing up against me, or suddenly turning a hug or a cuddle into something I never consented to... and I don't want to hear anymore that those things "aren't really sex" because there's no genital penetration; and I don't want to hear anymore that it's my own fault for thinking I can have a close relationship without being willing to provide nonreciprocal sexual gratification. I want to know that if I'm with someone who is "asexual," that means that wherever the relationship may lead, it's NOT going to lead to that!

I want truth in advertising. "Asexual" should mean "no sex drive/no erotic arousal." "Low sex drive" and "non-intercourse-oriented sex" are different things. Are there any other people here who are "NO sex drive/NO erotic arousal" asexual?

J8

Sometimes I feel the same way you do. It does seem as though the majority of members on the AVEN site and in this group are younger than I am. I am in my early 40's and had pretty much given up on finding someone through the internet.

I did meet someone this last week and we spent some intimate time together. I told him that I was not into having sexual intercourse and he sheepishly admitted that he is taking medications that severly limit his libido.

Since I know that I probably will not meet up with an asexual man to have a relationship with, I figured a man with an extremely low sex drive would be the next in line. Even though his medications keep his sex drive low, he still wants to be somewhat sexual in other ways. He finds it hard to believe that there are women like me who don't want sex, but he is impressed with the idea of a woman being able to stay faithful in a relationship/marriage with a man who cannot perform sexual penetration. In all likelyhood he will have to take these medications for life, so as long as that is true, I think we may be able to form a sort of symbiotic relationship.

The internet has not been good for me to meet other like-minded people either. I don't think the word on ASEXUALITY has gotten enough media attention to draw larger numbers of the population in, but I do think there are a large number of people who could and would identify as asexual if they knew such a thing existed. Unfortunately, I don't have any recommendations for ways to go about meeting like-minded individuals in your area, or for that matter even on the internet. Lucky for me, I am such a loner that I was totally prepared to be alone for life.

Don't give up Sparkwielder, just when you think that you really will never meet anyone who is asexual or who will agree to an asexual relationship, something shows up. Admittedly, this is person is not what I had in mind, but because I widened my acceptiblity standards to include men with very low sex-drives, I was able to find someone.

Staci

I can sympathise with you! I have been doing a lot of surfing and have noticed that there really isn't anything out there. It looks like AVEN made somewhat of an attempt with the Meet up catagory where people can just dump postings all in one vat so to speak. Then trying to search through all those can take hours.

I am begining to see that it is a waste of time. It looks like most people who classify themselves as asexual really don't want to have any type of relationship at all.

My first couple of posts here on this board got only two responses, so it looks like I might not fit in here myself. This may be a predominately young group of people on here, so there may be a generation gap thing as well. I am not putting this group down, I just don't think I have too much in common with the folks here.

I don't know myself what the correct avenue is to search for likeminded people is. I always thought, "well search within my interest groups" but tro try to find someome that wants a relationship with no sex within any group is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

I may have to think of other words to describe myself and "google" from there. The only two phrases I have been able to come up with are "celibate" and "asexual" so far.

Sorry I can't give you any useful advice, if I could, I would take it :-). Just another shoulder to cry on.

Good luck

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Oregon-Asexuals

Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail - Helps protect you from nasty viruses.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

To fyre fliy,

Are you a man or a woman? I am a woman who will be 50 in a few weeks. I am looking for a relationship that is special but does not involve sex.

Laura

Has anybody figured out a dating site for celibates? Seems like there are asexuals here and there, but no place for people to meet who are interested in a relationship. The aven site does not offer anything along those lines does it? One problem I have with lots of people who post here, or in aven, is to determine the age. I am in my 50s and there are few and far between women who are in my age range who get on the internet---and who are asexual. My peeve is: people don't post age & gender---wish they did.

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That sounds like a super idea. Can we all include our ages, areas we live in and our genders when we post. Also indicate if you are or are not in a position to travel or move. I hve no talent on the computer so I can't help design any sites. Laura

If not I'd be more than happy to host one if someone wants to design it.

-AVENguy

On 30 Nov 2004, Craig Andrews said:

There seems to be a bit of an increase in people looking for >> partnerships where being asexual is understood and respected. I'm >> wondering if it worthwhile suggesting there be some central place >> (ie., this email group) where all the messages can be displayed, >> easily reviewed and also time-limited so that the messages are >> reasonably fresh and valid.

Isn't there something like that on AVEN?

J8

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Uh-oh, that could be a bad thing if they develop "a better medication" for whatever his condition is. I wish you luck, and hope that the medical profession has better things to do, and leaves well enough alone! Sounds like some good medicine ;-) If they change it, the result would be equivalent of someone who marries a person, and then that person joins a cult sometime later.

I agree that being alone has some good perks. I have been able to devote a lot of time to getting better at my hobbies, and my bathroom is always clean, but it would be nice to have someone to watch a movie with, and talk about deep subjects with. My cat is a good listener, but doen't offer too much input. On the other hand, I would rather spend time with my cat then some of the guys that I have dated.

I did meet someone this last week and we spent some intimate time together. I told him that I was not into having sexual intercourse and he sheepishly admitted that he is taking medications that severly limit his libido.

I have updated my profile to include my age (39), and location. No kids for me though!

Sue

That sounds like a super idea. Can we all include our ages, areas we live in and our genders when we post. Also indicate if you are or are not in a position to travel or move. I hve no talent on the computer so I can't help design any sites. Laura

Twice, I was in a relationship where this happened to me, and I am pretty fed up with too. I thoght I had myself covered by telling these guys that I had no interest in sex right from the start. The first one was a mental retard. He tells me "that's OK, I really dont place that much importance on sex" Then after we are together for a few months he tells me how much he really needs the sex, then bad mouths me to his friends on the radio because I didn't give in. I am no longer friends with this jerk.

The second one that still calls me, and still tries to woo me with gifts said "that's ok, I'll get my self off and you don't have to service me" then later on it's "Pleeeze try the oral thing" that is the most digusting thing to me. Just to hear that made me gag. All the guy ever talks, or emails about is sex these days. He tried to impress me in the beginning by talking science, but now he has gotten away from that. It's amazing to hear how capable he is of discussing science with his male friends. I am glad he lives 1000 miles away because he is a bit of a stalker type of personality. Each time I tell him that there is no hope for a relationship he mails me a letter where he threatens to commit suicide. His male friends have absolutely no clue of this side of his personality! They try to help out in getting us together more.

It's a wierd world we live in.

Sue

But I'm not comfortable calling it "asexuality." I am tired of finding myself in situations with people who (I thought) understood from the outset that my relationships with them would not be sexual, only to find that they want me to perform or permit some sort of non- penetrative sexual contact. I want to be able to feel secure in the knowledge that if I agree to explore an "asexual" relationship, I'm not going to end up hearing, "Part of my feelings for you are sexual, because that's just part of intimacy for me"--followed by "Can't we do X?" or "Why won't you do Y?" or "PLEEEEZE let me do Z???", or just grabbing me or jumping on me or rubbing up against me, or suddenly turning a hug or a cuddle into something I never consented to... and I don't want to hear anymore that those things "aren't really sex" because there's no genital penetration; and I don't want to hear anymore that it's my own fault for thinking I can have a close relationship without being willing to provide nonreciprocal sexual gratification. I want to know that if I'm with someone who is "asexual," that means that wherever the relationship may lead, it's NOT going to lead to that!

I want truth in advertising. "Asexual" should mean "no sex drive/no erotic arousal." "Low sex drive" and "non-intercourse-oriented sex" are different things. Are there any other people here who are "NO sex drive/NO erotic arousal" asexual?

J8

I am 32 y/o female since someone suggested we should include age and gender if we choose to. I am open to possible travel should I EVER meet another asexual on-line and get to know each other via email and later calls before doing so, of course. I love going to places I have never been to. I am no sex and no arousal/sexual feelings part. I have never been 'turned on'? What does that mean, anyway? What ever it is, I have never had it or 'wanted' it, do not masturbate even. I can appreciate a nice physical form on a guy but when others say "he has a nice a** and I would do him in a minute" or something else sexual, I don't get it. I never thought things like that and I don't understand why others do this and never have. Oral sex, NASTY!!!!! The only time I even would attempt it was my first DH asked me to try and I had to get VERY drunk and was STILL gagging. I even made him put on a condomn (hee hee) before I would try, it is making me gag just to think about that, wasn't HIM just the act but I forget, I do not have to explain myself HERE *grin* I love when they try to stick their tongue down my throat and claim that is not an act sexual in nature. I tell them (after I, too have been up front about non-sexual relationship right from the start) thank you, I do have enough spit of my own. Then I am informed that I am: A) not normal B) defective C) a 'pill' will fix this D) you need therapy b/c you were probably abused as a child and do not remember E) What IS wrong with you? F) You have a bf/ DH home don't you and that is why you said you don't like sex or kissing Among countless other things I have been told like everyone else here.... On the middle one, I did go to a professional and disclosed my asexuality although I did not know then the term existed and I called it something else but do not remember what. She said point blank, "This is NOT normal" I felt REAL good after hearing this but this was over 5 years ago when I was still tryimg to 'learn' to like it or at least tolerate it and have a 'normal' relationship. But this was over 5 years ago and no longer trying to 'like' it. This is the way I am and always have been. This is so nice to be able to talk about these things with ppl who understand and are like me. Thank you *big grin*

Whats a DH?

From

"hatsandsoxqueen" <hatsandsoxqueen@...>

Reply-To

[email protected]

To

[email protected]

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Yup

Date

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 05:05:52 -0000

I am 32 y/o female since someone suggested we should include age and gender if we choose to. I am open to possible travel should I EVER meet another asexual on-line and get to know each other via email and later calls before doing so, of course. I love going to places I have never been to. I am no sex and no arousal/sexual feelings part. I have never been 'turned on'? What does that mean, anyway? What ever it is, I have never had it or 'wanted' it, do not masturbate even. I can appreciate a nice physical form on a guy but when others say "he has a nice a** and I would do him in a minute" or something else sexual, I don't get it. I never thought things like that and I don't understand why others do this and never have. Oral sex, NASTY!!!!! The only time I even would attempt it was my first DH asked me to try and I had to get VERY drunk and was STILL gagging. I even made him put on a condomn (hee hee) before I would try, it is making me gag just to think about that, wasn't HIM just the act but I forget, I do not have to explain myself HERE *grin* I love when they try to stick their tongue down my throat and claim that is not an act sexual in nature. I tell them (after I, too have been up front about non-sexual relationship right from the start) thank you, I do have enough spit of my own. Then I am informed that I am: A) not normal B) defective C) a 'pill' will fix this D) you need therapy b/c you were probably abused as a child and do not remember E) What IS wrong with you? F) You have a bf/ DH home don't you and that is why you said you don't like sex or kissing Among countless other things I have been told like everyone else here.... On the middle one, I did go to a professional and disclosed my asexuality although I did not know then the term existed and I called it something else but do not remember what. She said point blank, "This is NOT normal" I felt REAL good after hearing this but this was over 5 years ago when I was still tryimg to 'learn' to like it or at least tolerate it and have a 'normal' relationship. But this was over 5 years ago and no longer trying to 'like' it. This is the way I am and always have been. This is so nice to be able to talk about these things with ppl who understand and are like me. Thank you *big grin*

Internet 'short' for Dear Husband or husband. I have been married twice.

Whats a DH?

From

"hatsandsoxqueen" hatsandsoxqueen@y...

Reply-To

[email protected]

To

[email protected]

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Yup

Date

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 05:05:52 -0000

I am 32 y/o female since someone suggested we should include age and gender if we choose to. I am open to possible travel should I EVER meet another asexual on-line and get to know each other via email and later calls before doing so, of course. I love going to places I have never been to. I am no sex and no arousal/sexual feelings part. I have never been 'turned on'? What does that mean, anyway? What ever it is, I have never had it or 'wanted' it, do not masturbate even. I can appreciate a nice physical form on a guy but when others say "he has a nice a** and I would do him in a minute" or something else sexual, I don't get it. I never thought things like that and I don't understand why others do this and never have. Oral sex, NASTY!!!!! The only time I even would attempt it was my first DH asked me to try and I had to get VERY drunk and was STILL gagging. I even made him put on a condomn (hee hee) before I would try, it is making me gag just to think about that, wasn't HIM just the act but I forget, I do not have to explain myself HERE *grin* I love when they try to stick their tongue down my throat and claim that is not an act sexual in nature. I tell them (after I, too have been up front about non-sexual relationship right from the start) thank you, I do have enough spit of my own. Then I am informed that I am: A) not normal B) defective C) a 'pill' will fix this D) you need therapy b/c you were probably abused as a child and do not remember E) What IS wrong with you? F) You have a bf/ DH home don't you and that is why you said you don't like sex or kissing Among countless other things I have been told like everyone else here.... On the middle one, I did go to a professional and disclosed my asexuality although I did not know then the term existed and I called it something else but do not remember what. She said point blank, "This is NOT normal" I felt REAL good after hearing this but this was over 5 years ago when I was still tryimg to 'learn' to like it or at least tolerate it and have a 'normal' relationship. But this was over 5 years ago and no longer trying to 'like' it. This is the way I am and always have been. This is so nice to be able to talk about these things with ppl who understand and are like me. Thank you *big grin*

Hi iolanthe_fairy, this was very interesting but I thought I would mention the acronym (SAD) has already been taken by the DSM book. This acronym (SAD) is said to mean "seasonal Affective Disorder" which means depression during a particular season normally referring to winter months.

Jen female 48 years young Make me laugh and I'll make you laugh harder.

<So far I think this article has the most definitive definition of asexuals, and have a nice concise categories, that are all inclusive. I have done little to none research on this topic, and would like it if anyone has a book on the subject.>

http://www.slweekly.com/editorial/2004/feat_2004-09-16.cfm "Researchers have managed to establish a few loose facts, including a classification system that breaks asexuality into four categories:

Type A-Do not experience romantic attraction, but are able to get aroused. They have no drive to engage in sex. In other words, they're stuck in neutral.

Type B-Experience romantic attraction, but have no sex drive. They want to explore, but the stick shift is jacked.

Type C-Capable of both arousal and romantic attraction, but have no drive to put the two together. There just isn't enough gas.

Type D-Feel neither attraction nor arousal. This is the most common type of asexual. These people prefer to avoid driving altogether.

While the system is helpful for identifying different levels of asexuality, it doesn't explain how those conditions surfaced. Most researchers can only describe asexuality through better-established conditions.

Donald Strassberg, a University of Utah psychology professor whose research interests include sexual function and sexual dysfunction, thinks asexuality could be explained by two different-but likely related-disorders. The first one, hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), pertains to individuals who, given the opportunity to have sex, will either pass or take it without applause.

"These people don't seem to get horny," he said. "

Those afflicted by HSDD don't fantasize about sex, however they might consider getting frisky if it means pleasing their romantic partner. When it comes to HSDD, sex is the taste equivalent of Top Ramen noodles-a cheap, low-nutrition option that will do in a pinch. Sexual Aversion Disorder (SAD), on the other hand, describes those who go out of their way to avoid intercourse. In this case, sex and pleasure exist as polar opposites. There is no middle ground, no occasional hanky-panky for the sake of others.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Fyre_fliy, I am another who thinks sex is a complete waste of time and I am unwilling to waste it with something as boring as bumping uglies. That is just pathetic. I'd rather pet my cat, see an animal show, documentary show, something on history, crime shows and forensics are great too. Then of course the mountains are beautiful so hiking would be nice. I like swimming too but just for pleasure not for any sort of competitions. I like board games and dice games. I love to laugh as odd as that may seem. Learning is great. I would love to learn a lot about survival techniques with another human. It would be nice to eat meals with another human too. I am silly, love to have fun, try new activities and new ideas, bright, honest, sensitive, communicate,compassionate, organized (dislikes messes), enjoys both indoor and outdoor activities, health conscious, outgoing. Truly, I would like a life partner who does NOT want to "bump uglies" as I like to put it. I want so much to find someone who both me and he or she is simply comfortable with each other. It's important to feel at home and relaxed with the one we live with.

Well, your peeve is people don't say their age or gender. I would like to add to that complaint and say I wish people would say their age, gender and first name.

My name is Jen. Female 48 years young

Make me laugh and I'll make you laugh harder. ROFL

PS. In the past there was a dating website for celibates. It no longer exists. I don't know how to set up a web like that and I do believe it would cost some money for the great number of people who would want to be on this site. The one I am speaking of was free for the participants but I think it did cost this man some money to have.

Jen

Has anybody figured out a dating site for celibates? Seems like there are asexuals here and there, but no place for people to meet who are interested in a relationship. The aven site does not offer anything along those lines does it? One problem I have with lots of people who post here, or in aven, is to determine the age. I am in my 50s and there are few and far between women who are in my age range who get on the internet---and who are asexual. My peeve is: people don't post age & gender---wish they did.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sue, he sounds very dangerous and I hope you turn him into the police with his name, email, phone and home address.

Jen female 48 years young

Twice, I was in a relationship where this happened to me, and I am pretty fed up with too. I thoght I had myself covered by telling these guys that I had no interest in sex right from the start. The first one was a mental retard. He tells me "that's OK, I really dont place that much importance on sex" Then after we are together for a few months he tells me how much he really needs the sex, then bad mouths me to his friends on the radio because I didn't give in. I am no longer friends with this jerk.

The second one that still calls me, and still tries to woo me with gifts said "that's ok, I'll get my self off and you don't have to service me" then later on it's "Pleeeze try the oral thing" that is the most digusting thing to me. Just to hear that made me gag. All the guy ever talks, or emails about is sex these days. He tried to impress me in the beginning by talking science, but now he has gotten away from that. It's amazing to hear how capable he is of discussing science with his male friends. I am glad he lives 1000 miles away because he is a bit of a stalker type of personality. Each time I tell him that there is no hope for a relationship he mails me a letter where he threatens to commit suicide. His male friends have absolutely no clue of this side of his personality! They try to help out in getting us together more.

It's a wierd world we live in.

Sue

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

If there was an short email 'newsletter' type thing that went out - with personals and an few articles about being asexual - would people be interested?

Also - I wonder what topics/issues would be worthwhile to offer in such a publication if folks are interested?

Craig.

I have updated my profile to include my age (39), and location. No kids for me though!

Sue

That sounds like a super idea. Can we all include our ages, areas we live in and our genders when we post. Also indicate if you are or are not in a position to travel or move. I hve no talent on the computer so I can't help design any sites. Laura

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Craig, Yeah, I am interested. I think profiles with first names and the area the person is from would help.

I think the following description that someone sent would be good too.

((((http://www.slweekly.com/editorial/2004/feat_2004-09-16.cfm "Researchers have managed to establish a few loose facts, including a classification system that breaks asexuality into four categories:

Type A-Do not experience romantic attraction, but are able to get aroused. They have no drive to engage in sex. In other words, they're stuck in neutral.

Type B-Experience romantic attraction, but have no sex drive. They want to explore, but the stick shift is jacked.

Type C-Capable of both arousal and romantic attraction, but have no drive to put the two together. There just isn't enough gas.

Type D-Feel neither attraction nor arousal. This is the most common type of asexual. These people prefer to avoid driving altogether.))))

I did not include the notion there is something wrong with us. I only put this multifaceted description of Asexuals.

I have been advertising with www.craigslist.org for free for people to join www.meetup.com in the asexual department in my town. Well, it is beginning to have some success. For the longest time there were only 2 members meaning me and one other person. I noticed we have 3 new members. So I plan to continue advertising in the hopes of creating some gatherings. I know people don't want to just stand there and say "Hi I'm Asexual." So I thought I would do something like a board game and card game gathering just so we have something to do and a reason to continue hanging out to get to know each other, unless someone has a better idea.

I think putting the Aven site in the news letter would be a good idea for those who don't know about it.

Right now I don't have any ideas for the monthly news of your idea.

Oh, maybe the person could state which type of Asexual he/she may be too. Some people have a preference of a mate but others don't have a preference. I've noticed this on Aven and other places.

Great idea, Jen

If there was an short email 'newsletter' type thing that went out - with personals and an few articles about being asexual - would people be interested?

Also - I wonder what topics/issues would be worthwhile to offer in such a publication if folks are interested?

Craig.

In a message dated 12/4/2004 10:36:28 PM Eastern Standard Time, "Craig Andrews" <craig.andrews@...> writes:

If there was an short email 'newsletter' type thing that went out - with personals and an few articles about being asexual - would people be interested?

I would be! :-)

Also - I wonder what topics/issues would be worthwhile to offer in such a publication if folks are interested?

* coordination for folks that are located near each other to meet each other - like a support group, but not really. More or less a meet-and-greet, regardless of age.

oh yah - I forgot to add:

I am Katie, age 26 - NY metro area (northern NJ)

I personally like all four categories, because none of them involve any form of sex whatsoever. I think people were distracted by the other things in the article.

"Type A—Do not experience romantic attraction, but are able to get aroused. They have no drive to engage in sex. In other words, they're stuck in neutral."

These are for the asexuals who arouse themselves out of boredom, but don't really think about any people while doing it. I heard of a few of these people floating around the asexual internet community.

" Type B—Experience romantic attraction, but have no sex drive. They want to explore, but the stick shift is jacked."

These are for the people who are attracted to other people, and try to have sex but for one reason or another, are nauseated by sex or just don't want to have sex, for one reason or another.

" Type C—Capable of both arousal and romantic attraction, but have no drive to put the two together. There just isn't enough gas."

This is defitnetly me. I think too much to ever have sex, to me sex is a thoughtless activity where you are ruled by emotions. I think too much to let myself go like that.

" Type D—Feel neither attraction nor arousal. This is the most common type of asexual. These people prefer to avoid driving altogether."

This category has more obvious wording.

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Yep, I like the catigory choices even if a person fits more than one. I didn't like the other portions of the article either so we can just leave the yucko part out. LOL

Jen

I personally like all four categories, because none of them involve any form of sex whatsoever. I think people were distracted by the other things in the article.

"Type A-Do not experience romantic attraction, but are able to get aroused. They have no drive to engage in sex. In other words, they're stuck in neutral."

These are for the asexuals who arouse themselves out of boredom, but don't really think about any people while doing it. I heard of a few of these people floating around the asexual internet community.

" Type B-Experience romantic attraction, but have no sex drive. They want to explore, but the stick shift is jacked."

These are for the people who are attracted to other people, and try to have sex but for one reason or another, are nauseated by sex or just don't want to have sex, for one reason or another.

" Type C-Capable of both arousal and romantic attraction, but have no drive to put the two together. There just isn't enough gas."

This is defitnetly me. I think too much to ever have sex, to me sex is a thoughtless activity where you are ruled by emotions. I think too much to let myself go like that.

" Type D-Feel neither attraction nor arousal. This is the most common type of asexual. These people prefer to avoid driving altogether."

This category has more obvious wording.

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Thanks, Jen

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Yahoo! Groups Links