Haven for the Human Amoeba

29 Dec 2004, 14:21 +11:00 3,026 / 4,883

craigeorgeandrews Craig Andrews

craigeorgeandrews

Craig Andrews

www.asexualove.net now open

Asexuality is no longer a taboo
VITHAL C NADKARNI
TIMES NEWS NETWORK[ FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2004 12:37:24 AM]
It does take all kinds of people—ever-singles, solo singles, celebates, anchorites, monks, nuns, roommates and domestic workers—to make up this world. What’s surprising is the rapidity with which asexuality is tumbling out of the closets and the way asexuals—who have no interest in sex—are flaunting it as an integral part of normal, healthy life.
Although celibacy can be a repression of sexuality under some circumstances and lead to a diminished response to life and personal growth, it can also have quite the opposite effect—be it spiritual, health-related or social—if it’s chosen for positive reasons, says new age thinker Gabrielle Brown
Forget metrosexuality. It had its 15 minutes of fame. Asexuality is the newest rage on the block. A-pride apparently is the newest sex club: `A’ stands for asexual; not something hormone-ridden as `Alpha male’ or bigot-infested like `Aryan’.
As a term of sexual preference, however, it’s a non-starter. For as a new study shows that about one in 100 adults have absolutely no interest in sex.
Anthony Bogaert, a human sexuality expert and psychologist of love at Brock University conducted the new study published in the `Journal of Sex Research’.
He analysed interviews done in 1994 in Britain of 18,000 people. They were asked about their sexual practices. One of the responses was “I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone” which was tick-marked by 1% of the respondents.These are people who apparently don’t experience sexual attraction: `birds and the bees’ have never been their things of beauty and joy forever.
By itself that shouldn’t surprise. It does take all kinds—-ever-singles, solo singles, celebates, anchorites, monks, nuns, roommates and domestic workers—-to make up this world.
What’s surprising is the rapidity with which asexuality is tumbling out of the closets and the way asexuals are flaunting it as an integral part of normal, healthy life.
Check out the chatrooms or networks like AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network), founded by that Arch-American-Asexual David Jay in ‘01, and you will find that not having sex is not about laziness, dysfunction, lack of libido or opportunity nor is it about taking a position (no pun intended) or being a frustrated reject.
It’s also not about fear and loathing of sex in the age of the virus. This may explain why some New Age thinkers like Gabrielle Brown prefer the term `new celibacy’, adding, “In this way, perhaps we can best think of celibacy as `the rest state of sexuality’, where the sexual response becomes more diffuse, expanding in many directions beyond a simple genital response.”
She goes on to argue that although celibacy can be a repression of sexuality under some circumstances and lead to a diminished response to life and personal growth, it can also have quite the opposite effect—-be it spiritual, health-related or social—-if it’s chosen for positive reasons.
`The eastern counterpart of `new celibacy’ is brahmacharya, which seems harder to assimilate in a tradition that views sexuality as a fundamental, call it god-given part of human identity or Eros hard-wired into our psyche. According to some experts, the flurry of activity in the asexual movement is reminiscent of the beginnings of the gay revolution of the 1970s.
Others like Elizabeth Abbott, dean of women at Trinity College, University of Toronto, believe asexuality is likely to be a far milder trend because, “it doesn’t repel, it just doesn’t appeal”.
In 1999, Abbott’s own “History of Celibacy” became a runaway bestseller, raising the possibility that there are lots of people in the oxymoronic category `happy singles’. They may be below our radar today. Tomorrow, they could steam up into a critical mass.
Copyright © 2004 Times Internet Limited. http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-961278,curpg-3.cms
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Oregon-Asexuals
Do you Yahoo!? All your favorites on one personal page – Try My Yahoo!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

http://www.asexualove.net/ is now open -

It's open - posting an ad is automatic. It's free - moderated and you're welcome to spread the word.

hope this is useful to us all.

Craig

asexualove.net - for asexual people finding relationships on our own terms -

30 Dec 2004, 07:30 +00:00 3,027 / 4,883

mary_of_three_kingdoms

Confused Old Newbie

Hello to all

Have been reading through some of the messages here after lots of internet searches.

Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.

I'm not a virgin in any definition of the word, and I do LIKE men. I'm just not terribly keen on sexual behaviour, especially the type of sexual behaviour that the vast majoroty of heterosexual men seem to prefer! A lot of it seems very degrading to me.

On the other hand, I'm certainly not a lesbian, as I find the same sexual behaviours just as repugnant between women. But it's their own affair, I'm not really uncomfortable around folks of any preference provided they are a bit discreet with the heavy stuff.

I should also mention that I am older than most of the members, and there was a time when I did desire normal "lovemaking" with a man that I cared very much for, so it's possible that I have some sort of hormone problem, as I am now post menopausal, and can say with some degree of confidance that I no longer desire the company of men in quite the same way.

I enjoy "cerebral" relationships and although I enjoy LOOKING looking at handsome devils like Colin Farrell and Lenny Kravitz, (and would jump at the chance of getting ATTENTION from certain men, I have no desire to perform sexually at all. Dancing with them might be fun though.

I don't think I ever really liked sex, but I have always enjoyed spending time with men. I have probably consented to having sex because I thought it was the only way to make a man happy, but my experience has also been that it ruins relationships most of the time. Perhaps I am just REALLY bad at faking it.

To complicate matters, I am quite the romantic. I LOVE playful banter and impressive scenery, walks inthe garden, history, laughter and music!!!! Riding bikes around Leeds Castle Aviary. I might like Colin to help me stay up on roller skates! OR LENNY.I guess I am emotiomally much younger than my 52 yyears.I want to have FUN...not sex!.......

will my family health insurance cover MY domestic companion? The provide coverage for same sex domestic partners, but no others! This is REAL discrimination. suppose I want my mom or granny as my same sex domestic partner? The language in the contract with verizon does NOT say you must be homosexual, but it does say same sex domestic partner cannot be family! Wows THAT for discrimination??? Damn You VERIZON!!!.

So WHO am I ??? what did I do?

Mary of Scotland

30 Dec 2004, 07:34 +00:00 3,028 / 4,883

mary_of_three_kingdoms

Confused Old Newbie

Hello to all

Have been reading through some of the messages here after lots of internet searches.

Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.

So WHO am I ??? what did I do?

Mary of Scotland

30 Dec 2004, 10:59 -08:00 3,029 / 4,883

goddessatplay Asexual Lady

goddessatplay

Asexual Lady

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Confused Old Newbie

Hello to all
Have been reading through some of the messages here after lots of internet searches.
Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.
I'm not a virgin in any definition of the word, and I do LIKE men. I'm just not terribly keen on sexual behaviour, especially the type of sexual behaviour that the vast majoroty of heterosexual men seem to prefer! A lot of it seems very degrading to me.
On the other hand, I'm certainly not a lesbian, as I find the same sexual behaviours just as repugnant between women. But it's their own affair, I'm not really uncomfortable around folks of any preference provided they are a bit discreet with the heavy stuff.
I should also mention that I am older than most of the members, and there was a time when I did desire normal "lovemaking" with a man that I cared very much for, so it's possible that I have some sort of hormone problem, as I am now post menopausal, and can say with some degree of confidance that I no longer desire the company of men in quite the same way.
I enjoy "cerebral" relationships and although I enjoy LOOKING looking at handsome devils like Colin Farrell and Lenny Kravitz, (and would jump at the chance of getting ATTENTION from certain men, I have no desire to perform sexually at all. Dancing with them might be fun though.
I don't think I ever really liked sex, but I have always enjoyed spending time with men. I have probably consented to having sex because I thought it was the only way to make a man happy, but my experience has also been that it ruins relationships most of the time. Perhaps I am just REALLY bad at faking it.
To complicate matters, I am quite the romantic. I LOVE playful banter and impressive scenery, walks inthe garden, history, laughter and music!!!! Riding bikes around Leeds Castle Aviary. I might like Colin to help me stay up on roller skates! OR LENNY.I guess I am emotiomally much younger than my 52 yyears.I want to have FUN...not sex!.......
will my family health insurance cover MY domestic companion? The provide coverage for same sex domestic partners, but no others! This is REAL discrimination. suppose I want my mom or granny as my same sex domestic partner? The language in the contract with verizon does NOT say you must be homosexual, but it does say same sex domestic partner cannot be family! Wows THAT for discrimination??? Damn You VERIZON!!!.
So WHO am I ??? what did I do?
Mary of Scotland

Mary Of Scotland,

Welcome to the Haven.

You are not alone in your confusion over defining your asexual orientation. Many members here are in unique states of asexuality that are as yet little understood, medically, physically and psychologically.

Many people are becoming aware of the fact that it is now acceptable to admit and explore the source of their lack of sexual desire. The media is just starting to report on this newest sexual orientation. Of course it is not NEW to those of us who have no sex drive, but it is new and exciting that others are recognizing and becoming aware that we do exist.

When I first started joining asexual communities and making asexual connections, the vast majority of the people I interacted with were very young (late teens and early twenties), but as the number of media reports increased, the ages of the contacts in these communities began to increase. I now know of several asexuals that are in their 40's, 50's, and 60's. I strongly suspect the number of older asexuals to increase as more media attention is focused on our unique sexual orientation.

Most asexuals do enjoy "cerebral" relationships, but of course the problem with that is there are still too few (out of the closet) asexuals around for us all to make significant in-person connections with. The romantic asexuals suffer the most in this aspect.

Thanks for this introductory message you sent to the group. All asexual experiences shared here help us continue to define and reevaluate our own asexuality.

Staci

mary_of_three_kingdoms said:

Hello to all

Have been reading through some of the messages here after lots of internet searches.

Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.

So WHO am I ??? what did I do?

Mary of Scotland

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Oregon-Asexuals

Do you Yahoo!? Jazz up your holiday email with celebrity designs. Learn more.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

1 Jan 2005, 17:47 +00:00 3,030 / 4,883

fyre_fliy

Re: Confused Old Newbie

Hello to all
Have been reading through some of the messages here after lots of internet searches.
Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.
I'm not a virgin in any definition of the word, and I do LIKE men. I'm just not terribly keen on sexual behaviour, especially the type of sexual behaviour that the vast majoroty of heterosexual men seem to prefer! A lot of it seems very degrading to me.
On the other hand, I'm certainly not a lesbian, as I find the same sexual behaviours just as repugnant between women. But it's their own affair, I'm not really uncomfortable around folks of any preference provided they are a bit discreet with the heavy stuff.
I should also mention that I am older than most of the members, and there was a time when I did desire normal "lovemaking" with a man that I cared very much for, so it's possible that I have some sort of hormone problem, as I am now post menopausal, and can say with some degree of confidance that I no longer desire the company of men in quite the same way.
I enjoy "cerebral" relationships and although I enjoy LOOKING looking at handsome devils like Colin Farrell and Lenny Kravitz, (and would jump at the chance of getting ATTENTION from certain men, I have no desire to perform sexually at all. Dancing with them might be fun though.
I don't think I ever really liked sex, but I have always enjoyed spending time with men. I have probably consented to having sex because I thought it was the only way to make a man happy, but my experience has also been that it ruins relationships most of the time. Perhaps I am just REALLY bad at faking it.
To complicate matters, I am quite the romantic. I LOVE playful banter and impressive scenery, walks inthe garden, history, laughter and music!!!! Riding bikes around Leeds Castle Aviary. I might like Colin to help me stay up on roller skates! OR LENNY.I guess I am emotiomally much younger than my 52 yyears.I want to have FUN...not sex!.......
will my family health insurance cover MY domestic companion? The provide coverage for same sex domestic partners, but no others! This is REAL discrimination. suppose I want my mom or granny as my same sex domestic partner? The language in the contract with verizon does NOT say you must be homosexual, but it does say same sex domestic partner cannot be family! Wows THAT for discrimination??? Damn You VERIZON!!!.
So WHO am I ??? what did I do?
Mary of Scotland

Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out there!

"mary_of_three_kingdoms" wrote:

Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.
I'm not a virgin in any definition of the word, and I do LIKE men. I'm just not terribly keen on sexual behaviour...

No need to be confused. Being "asexual" or "celibate" does not require being a virgin. Nor does it require never having (had) sexual feelings or desires. Most people have erotic feelings. Most want to act on erotic feelings at least at some time or times. What many fail to recognize is that erotic feelings don't have to be a constant state. There is nothing weird (IMHO) with having lots of desire for sex at some time (such as age of 30, but having little or no such desire before or since.

Yes hormones clearly are a factor. A castrated man can not get sexually aroused. No testosterone equals no erection. Period.

Also, orientation is a factor. Orientation does not just mean attraction to a particular gender. Orientation also includes a person's sexual nature, desires, etc. Many heterosexual people do not care much for intercourse. More extreme examples, by no means rare, are those who are into power relationships (BDSM). Many such people have no interest in intercourse.

I once desired the company of women for intercourse. At least I thought that was what I wanted. I have not desired intercourse in 20 or more years. I desire NOT to have intercourse, and I doubt I will ever have any---although it is possible I could try if a woman were absolutely insistent.

The language in the contract with verizon does NOT say you must be homosexual, but it does say same sex domestic partner cannot be family! Wows THAT for discrimination??? Damn You VERIZON!!!.

I think that verizon is an American company. This language is present because most American laws prohibit same-sex partnerships. I don't know if you have been following American politics, but the majority of Americans are into old-tyme religion, and the US is trending toward old-testament religious values. I don't agree with mixing politicians, priests and preachers on the pulpit, but I am in the minority with this point of view. I guess the whole world is trending toward theocratic leadership. See Muslim, Jewish and Christian religions.

2 Jan 2005, 23:02 +00:00 3,031 / 4,883

kilraven62

Re: Confused Old Newbie

Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out there!
"mary_of_three_kingdoms" wrote:
Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.
I'm not a virgin in any definition of the word, and I do LIKE men. I'm just not terribly keen on sexual behaviour...
No need to be confused. Being "asexual" or "celibate" does not require being a virgin. Nor does it require never having (had) sexual feelings or desires. Most people have erotic feelings. Most want to act on erotic feelings at least at some time or times. What many fail to recognize is that erotic feelings don't have to be a constant state. There is nothing weird (IMHO) with having lots of desire for sex at some time (such as age of 30, but having little or no such desire before or since.
Yes hormones clearly are a factor. A castrated man can not get sexually aroused. No testosterone equals no erection. Period.
Also, orientation is a factor. Orientation does not just mean attraction to a particular gender. Orientation also includes a person's sexual nature, desires, etc. Many heterosexual people do not care much for intercourse. More extreme examples, by no means rare, are those who are into power relationships (BDSM). Many such people have no interest in intercourse.
I once desired the company of women for intercourse. At least I thought that was what I wanted. I have not desired intercourse in 20 or more years. I desire NOT to have intercourse, and I doubt I will ever have any---although it is possible I could try if a woman were absolutely insistent.
The language in the contract with verizon does NOT say you must be homosexual, but it does say same sex domestic partner cannot be family! Wows THAT for discrimination??? Damn You VERIZON!!!.
I think that verizon is an American company. This language is present because most American laws prohibit same-sex partnerships. I don't know if you have been following American politics, but the majority of Americans are into old-tyme religion, and the US is trending toward old-testament religious values. I don't agree with mixing politicians, priests and preachers on the pulpit, but I am in the minority with this point of view. I guess the whole world is trending toward theocratic leadership. See Muslim, Jewish and Christian religions.

fyre_fliy said:

Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!

I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)

I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.

This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)

Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada

2 Jan 2005, 22:12 -08:00 3,032 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Confused Old Newbie

Oh Mary of Scotland, "smile" you sound like a normal Asexual with passion and romance. It's called being alive.

I am post menopausal too. I'm on tons of hormone replacements due to complications from the menopause. Mine are quite severe. Let me tell ya the hormones don't give me any desire to rip my clothing off for anyone.

Now, as for romance and passion without any hit of sexuality. Yep, I love it. I like all of the bike riding, walks, hikes, sweet dinners and so on. Just affection no affuction please.

Jen

From: "mary_of_three_kingdoms" <mymacca@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 29, 2004 11:30 PM
Subject: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Confused Old Newbie

Hello to all
Have been reading through some of the messages here after lots of internet searches.
Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.
I'm not a virgin in any definition of the word, and I do LIKE men. I'm just not terribly keen on sexual behaviour, especially the type of sexual behaviour that the vast majoroty of heterosexual men seem to prefer! A lot of it seems very degrading to me.
On the other hand, I'm certainly not a lesbian, as I find the same sexual behaviours just as repugnant between women. But it's their own affair, I'm not really uncomfortable around folks of any preference provided they are a bit discreet with the heavy stuff.
I should also mention that I am older than most of the members, and there was a time when I did desire normal "lovemaking" with a man that I cared very much for, so it's possible that I have some sort of hormone problem, as I am now post menopausal, and can say with some degree of confidance that I no longer desire the company of men in quite the same way.
I enjoy "cerebral" relationships and although I enjoy LOOKING looking at handsome devils like Colin Farrell and Lenny Kravitz, (and would jump at the chance of getting ATTENTION from certain men, I have no desire to perform sexually at all. Dancing with them might be fun though.
I don't think I ever really liked sex, but I have always enjoyed spending time with men. I have probably consented to having sex because I thought it was the only way to make a man happy, but my experience has also been that it ruins relationships most of the time. Perhaps I am just REALLY bad at faking it.
To complicate matters, I am quite the romantic. I LOVE playful banter and impressive scenery, walks inthe garden, history, laughter and music!!!! Riding bikes around Leeds Castle Aviary. I might like Colin to help me stay up on roller skates! OR LENNY.I guess I am emotiomally much younger than my 52 yyears.I want to have FUN...not sex!.......
will my family health insurance cover MY domestic companion? The provide coverage for same sex domestic partners, but no others! This is REAL discrimination. suppose I want my mom or granny as my same sex domestic partner? The language in the contract with verizon does NOT say you must be homosexual, but it does say same sex domestic partner cannot be family! Wows THAT for discrimination??? Damn You VERIZON!!!.
So WHO am I ??? what did I do?
Mary of Scotland

2 Jan 2005, 22:31 -08:00 3,033 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Hi again Fyre-fliy, I can't remember your name and you don't tend to sign your emails.

I think you are right in so many ways concerning Americans and I live here in America. It's frustrating in many ways and yet I know I conform in a lot of ways too. I don't conform sexually of course.

Jen

From: "fyre_fliy" <fyre_fliy@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, January 01, 2005 9:47 AM
Subject: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out there!
"mary_of_three_kingdoms" wrote:
Perhaps I am still a bit confused, and am not really sure where I belong, as my situation doesn't seem to be similar to most of those described by by members of clubs for folks who are celebate.
I'm not a virgin in any definition of the word, and I do LIKE men. I'm just not terribly keen on sexual behaviour...
No need to be confused. Being "asexual" or "celibate" does not require being a virgin. Nor does it require never having (had) sexual feelings or desires. Most people have erotic feelings. Most want to act on erotic feelings at least at some time or times. What many fail to recognize is that erotic feelings don't have to be a constant state. There is nothing weird (IMHO) with having lots of desire for sex at some time (such as age of 30, but having little or no such desire before or since.
Yes hormones clearly are a factor. A castrated man can not get sexually aroused. No testosterone equals no erection. Period.
Also, orientation is a factor. Orientation does not just mean attraction to a particular gender. Orientation also includes a person's sexual nature, desires, etc. Many heterosexual people do not care much for intercourse. More extreme examples, by no means rare, are those who are into power relationships (BDSM). Many such people have no interest in intercourse.
I once desired the company of women for intercourse. At least I thought that was what I wanted. I have not desired intercourse in 20 or more years. I desire NOT to have intercourse, and I doubt I will ever have any---although it is possible I could try if a woman were absolutely insistent.
The language in the contract with verizon does NOT say you must be homosexual, but it does say same sex domestic partner cannot be family! Wows THAT for discrimination??? Damn You VERIZON!!!.
I think that verizon is an American company. This language is present because most American laws prohibit same-sex partnerships. I don't know if you have been following American politics, but the majority of Americans are into old-tyme religion, and the US is trending toward old-testament religious values. I don't agree with mixing politicians, priests and preachers on the pulpit, but I am in the minority with this point of view. I guess the whole world is trending toward theocratic leadership. See Muslim, Jewish and Christian religions.

2 Jan 2005, 22:42 -08:00 3,034 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Yep Glenn and Mary, I'm 48 years young and have a zero desire for any form of sex or spit swaps. I prefer hand holding, hugs, walks and so on. I like the cerebral stuff too.

Jen

From: "kilraven62" <xmutant@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, January 02, 2005 3:02 PM
Subject: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

fyre_fliy said:
Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!
I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)
I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.
This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)
Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada
Yahoo! Groups Links

3 Jan 2005, 02:31 -06:00 3,035 / 4,883

lyonyssacatherinestclair Debbie Search

lyonyssacatherinestclair

Debbie Search

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Chiming in at 47 here. And sometimes I think "A date? That would be nice." Dinner, a movie, pleasant conversation, holding hands. Then I think about it a little more and think about the possibility of my date wanting more than that and I say "No, thank you."

From: J Noble
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, January 03, 2005 12:42 AM
Subject: Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Yep Glenn and Mary, I'm 48 years young and have a zero desire for any form of sex or spit swaps. I prefer hand holding, hugs, walks and so on. I like the cerebral stuff too.

Jen

From: "kilraven62" <xmutant@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, January 02, 2005 3:02 PM
Subject: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

fyre_fliy said:
Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!
I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)
I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.
This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)
Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada
Yahoo! Groups Links

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3 Jan 2005, 00:49 -08:00 3,036 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Hi Debbie, I know that fear too well. That is why I don't date. I don't want to date unless I KNOW I am going out with another Asexual. They need to have our kind on Startreck.

Jen

From: "Debbie Search" <dsearch@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, January 03, 2005 12:31 AM
Subject: Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Chiming in at 47 here. And sometimes I think "A date? That would be nice." Dinner, a movie, pleasant conversation, holding hands. Then I think about it a little more and think about the possibility of my date wanting more than that and I say "No, thank you."
From
J Noble
To
[email protected]
Sent
Monday, January 03, 2005 12:42 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
Yep Glenn and Mary, I'm 48 years young and have a zero desire for any form of sex or spit swaps. I prefer hand holding, hugs, walks and so on. I like the cerebral stuff too.
Jen
From
"kilraven62" <xmutant@...>
To
<[email protected]>
Sent
Sunday, January 02, 2005 3:02 PM
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
fyre_fliy said:
Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!
I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)
I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.
This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)
Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada

3 Jan 2005, 23:49 +00:00 3,037 / 4,883

heremeis79

25 and lonely guy

I'm a shy 25 year old guy, and I don't live far from London, UK. I'm lonely, and would like to share my life with someone. I'd like to meet the right girl whereever in the world she may be. I'm generally pretty quiet, but have a good sense of humour. I'd love to meet a like-minded girl that wants to enjoy life and see the world. I know she has to be out there somewhere!

4 Jan 2005, 16:52 +00:00 3,038 / 4,883

iolanthe_fairy

sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

i dont understand how an asexual relationship works. can somebody help me figure it out, particularly females, because i would think they are going through the same thoughts as me.

4 Jan 2005, 19:37 -08:00 3,039 / 4,883

rovingrep

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

i dont understand how an asexual relationship works. can somebody help me figure it out, particularly females, because i would think they are going through the same thoughts as me.

On 4 Jan 2004, 16:52 +00:00, iolanthe_fairy said:

i dont understand how an asexual relationship works. can somebody help me figure it out, particularly females, because i would think they are going through the same thoughts as me.

Wouldn't it be like having a roommate, only more permanent?

I just can't imagine living that way with a guy though, as I'd always be wondering if he was "really" asexual.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi [email protected] / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

5 Jan 2005, 04:00 +00:00 3,040 / 4,883

fyre_fliy

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Chiming in at 47 here. And sometimes I think "A date? That would be nice." Dinner, a movie, pleasant conversation, holding hands. Then I think about it a little more and think about the possibility of my date wanting more than that and I say "No, thank you."
From
J Noble
To
[email protected]
Sent
Monday, January 03, 2005 12:42 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
Yep Glenn and Mary, I'm 48 years young and have a zero desire for any form of sex or spit swaps. I prefer hand holding, hugs, walks and so on. I like the cerebral stuff too.
Jen
From
"kilraven62" <xmutant@...>
To
<[email protected]>
Sent
Sunday, January 02, 2005 3:02 PM
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
fyre_fliy said:
Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!
I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)
I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.
This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)
Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada
Yahoo! Groups Links
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

So why can't you just go on dates, and say no to any groping, kissing, etc. Women have been doing that since time immemorial. Nonconsensual touching is assault and battery. Nonconsexual sex is rape. Women who are easy are whores, sluts, etc.

A woman does not have to have an excuse why she is not in the mood for sex play.

Debbie Search said:

Chiming in at 47 here. And sometimes I think "A date? That would be nice." Dinner, a movie, pleasant conversation, holding hands. Then I think about it a little more and think about the possibility of my date wanting more than that and I say "No, thank you."
From
J Noble
To
[email protected]
Sent
Monday, January 03, 2005 12:42 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
Yep Glenn and Mary, I'm 48 years young and have a zero desire for any form of sex or spit swaps. I prefer hand holding, hugs, walks and so on. I like the cerebral stuff too.
Jen
From
"kilraven62" <xmutant@t...>
To
<[email protected]>
Sent
Sunday, January 02, 2005 3:02 PM
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
fyre_fliy said:
Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!
I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)
I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.
This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)
Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada
Yahoo! Groups Links
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

5 Jan 2005, 00:50 -08:00 3,041 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

Hi iolanthe_fairy, I think just as all relationships are different so it is true for an Asexual relationship. Some people see it as a roomy but long term or permanent, some like romance but nothing remotely close to sexuality and so on.

Some people like to hold hands. Some like hugs. Some like holding or cuddling.

I would think there is the closeness of the relationship of supporting one another when in need, being dependable when appropriate being there through thick and thin so to speak.

Personally, to me it is all of what a regular marriage has without the sexuality not mattering what the genders may be.

Jen

From: "iolanthe_fairy" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, January 04, 2005 8:52 AM
Subject: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

i dont understand how an asexual relationship works. can somebody help me figure it out, particularly females, because i would think they are going through the same thoughts as me.

5 Jan 2005, 00:53 -08:00 3,042 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

True enough Fyre_fliy, And this is also true for men. I know my eldest brother due to choice and his faith, he did not engage in sexuality until after he was married at the age of 27 years old.

Jen

From: "fyre_fliy" <fyre_fliy@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, January 04, 2005 8:00 PM
Subject: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

So why can't you just go on dates, and say no to any groping, kissing, etc. Women have been doing that since time immemorial. Nonconsensual touching is assault and battery. Nonconsexual sex is rape. Women who are easy are whores, sluts, etc.
A woman does not have to have an excuse why she is not in the mood for sex play.
Debbie Search said:
Chiming in at 47 here. And sometimes I think "A date? That would be nice." Dinner, a movie, pleasant conversation, holding hands. Then I think about it a little more and think about the possibility of my date wanting more than that and I say "No, thank you."
From
J Noble
To
[email protected]
Sent
Monday, January 03, 2005 12:42 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
Yep Glenn and Mary, I'm 48 years young and have a zero desire for any form of sex or spit swaps. I prefer hand holding, hugs, walks and so on. I like the cerebral stuff too.
Jen
From
"kilraven62" <xmutant@t...>
To
<[email protected]>
Sent
Sunday, January 02, 2005 3:02 PM
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
fyre_fliy said:
Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!
I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)
I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.
This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)
Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada

5 Jan 2005, 05:44 -08:00 3,043 / 4,883

rovingrep

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

So why can't you just go on dates, and say no to any groping, kissing, etc. Women have been doing that since time immemorial. Nonconsensual touching is assault and battery. Nonconsexual sex is rape. Women who are easy are whores, sluts, etc.
A woman does not have to have an excuse why she is not in the mood for sex play.
Debbie Search said:
Chiming in at 47 here. And sometimes I think "A date? That would be nice." Dinner, a movie, pleasant conversation, holding hands. Then I think about it a little more and think about the possibility of my date wanting more than that and I say "No, thank you."
From
J Noble
To
[email protected]
Sent
Monday, January 03, 2005 12:42 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
Yep Glenn and Mary, I'm 48 years young and have a zero desire for any form of sex or spit swaps. I prefer hand holding, hugs, walks and so on. I like the cerebral stuff too.
Jen
From
"kilraven62" <xmutant@t...>
To
<[email protected]>
Sent
Sunday, January 02, 2005 3:02 PM
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie
fyre_fliy said:
Mary, welcome aboard. You are not the only one who is older than 40. I am also in my fifties, and I am a guy. So there are definitely men who are compatible out there. In fact, I sense that the UK has a greater number of people who recognize their asexuality, are able to be open about it, and who are in search of an asexual relationship. While the US has a pretense of being open as to viewpoints, most Americans are very, very conformist. And having sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex is conformist---something that most Americans would do reflexively even if there is no satisfaction involved. See all the *how to* have an adequate sex-life books and articles out> there!
I'm also over 40 -- I'm 42. :)
I remember once on a date a few years ago, the two of us wound up browsing in one of the great big huge bookstores in the city. There was a display of miniature books from the "... For Dummies" series. My date pointed out "Sex for Dummies" as one of the available titles. As I reached for it, I saw "Cats For Dummies" and reached for it instead, exclaiming "Ooh! They have 'Cats For Dummies'!". (I love cats.) She thought that was very funny.
This woman I dated, we never got past the stage of hugs and holding hands. Which suits me just fine, as that's enough to satisfy my physical needs. I've had sex before, but the last time I did was in late 1992 and I don't really miss it. (If I did, I'd have done something about it by now.) :)
Glenn Edmonton, AB, Canada
Yahoo! Groups Links
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

On 5 Jan 2004, 04:00 +00:00, fyre_fliy said:

Women who are easy are whores, sluts, etc.

That is such a loaded sentence, you might want to rethink your entire statement. For example, what about men who behave the same way, and there are a lot more of them who do this?

Most men are also a lot stronger than most women, so I think it's rather unfair to say the women are 'easy' rather than accepting that when confronted by a stronger adversary, it's generally smarter to let them have their way rather than risk getting beaten up.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

5 Jan 2005, 11:45 -08:00 3,044 / 4,883

wmolina7734 William Molina

wmolina7734

William Molina

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

i dont understand how an asexual relationship works. can somebody help me figure it out, particularly females, because i would think they are going through the same thoughts as me.

I don't think there are any set guidelines on how an asexual relationship is supposed to work. I think that everyone has their own ideals of a perfect relationship whether that person is sexual or asexual. Of course an asexual relationship would be one without sex and from there the relationship could range from strictly plutonic to romantic.

When I think of an asexual relationship I always am reminded of middle school, where kids who were on the cusp of puberty would talk about so and so going out with a classmate. Where there is alot of hand holding, poorly written love notes passed out in recess, and awkward kissing. That probably is far from the truth but I always think of that when I read about asexuals who attempt to date or start a relationship without sex.

iolanthe_fairy said:

i dont understand how an asexual relationship works. can somebody help me figure it out, particularly females, because i would think they are going through the same thoughts as me.

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To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/

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Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

Do you Yahoo!? All your favorites on one personal page – Try My Yahoo!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

5 Jan 2005, 22:13 +00:00 3,045 / 4,883

seekermike

Short message from a newbie.

Hi, I am so glad I found this group! For years I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I find out that many other people do not have sex as the center of their universe, despite a sex-saturated culture. It's a relief to find there are others like me! I would still like to find a best friend and companion, someone to share my life with in an intimate but nonsexual way.

5 Jan 2005, 14:13 -08:00 3,046 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

Therese, I love your responses. I had such a strong reaction the first time I read the email that I decided not to respond. Then I reread it and it didn't seem to say the same thing but some of the terminology is inflaming automatically.

Jen

From: <tlshell@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2005 5:44 AM
Subject: Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Confused Old Newbie

On 5 Jan 2004, 04:00 +00:00, fyre_fliy said:
Women who are easy are whores, sluts, etc.
That is such a loaded sentence, you might want to rethink your entire statement. For example, what about men who behave the same way, and there are a lot more of them who do this?
Most men are also a lot stronger than most women, so I think it's rather unfair to say the women are 'easy' rather than accepting that when confronted by a stronger adversary, it's generally smarter to let them have their way rather than risk getting beaten up.
Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/
Yahoo! Groups Links

5 Jan 2005, 14:24 -08:00 3,047 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A BEAN?

Subject: ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A BEAN?

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ... boiling water . Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

**********************************************************************

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!!!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

5 Jan 2005, 18:56 -08:00 3,048 / 4,883

rovingrep

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A BEAN?

Subject
ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A BEAN?
A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ... boiling water . Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.
"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
**********************************************************************
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.
If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

On 5 Jan 2004, 22:24 +00:00, J Noble said:

Subject
ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A BEAN?

I was going to say I must be either a carrot or a bean because I have been hiding from all the bad news lately...oh well. At least I'm not an egg!

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

5 Jan 2005, 19:46 -08:00 3,049 / 4,883

rovingrep

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

I don't think there are any set guidelines on how an asexual relationship is supposed to work. I think that everyone has their own ideals of a perfect relationship whether that person is sexual or asexual. Of course an asexual relationship would be one without sex and from there the relationship could range from strictly plutonic to romantic.
When I think of an asexual relationship I always am reminded of middle school, where kids who were on the cusp of puberty would talk about so and so going out with a classmate. Where there is alot of hand holding, poorly written love notes passed out in recess, and awkward kissing. That probably is far from the truth but I always think of that when I read about asexuals who attempt to date or start a relationship without sex.
iolanthe_fairy said:
i dont understand how an asexual relationship works. can somebody help me figure it out, particularly females, because i would think they are going through the same thoughts as me.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

On 5 Jan 2004, 19:45 +00:00, William Molina said:

When I think of an asexual relationship I always am reminded of middle school, where kids who were on the cusp of puberty would talk about so and so going out with a classmate. Where there is alot of hand holding, poorly written love notes passed out in recess, and awkward kissing. That probably is far from the truth but I always think of that when I read about asexuals who attempt to date or start a relationship without sex.

Yeah, society doesn't really give us a lot of models for an asexual relationship. I would hope that we'd be more mature than middle school though as it's not an age that I care to repeat. (-:

Maybe we can develop our own models?

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi [email protected] / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

5 Jan 2005, 22:44 -08:00 3,050 / 4,883

jmnoble4 J Noble

jmnoble4

J Noble

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

From: <tlshell@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2005 7:46 PM
Subject: Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] sex should be outlawed and slaughtered.

On 5 Jan 2004, 19:45 +00:00, William Molina said:
When I think of an asexual relationship I always am reminded of middle school, where kids who were on the cusp of puberty would talk about so and so going out with a classmate. Where there is alot of hand holding, poorly written love notes passed out in recess, and awkward kissing. That probably is far from the truth but I always think of that when I read about asexuals who attempt to date or start a relationship without sex.
Yeah, society doesn't really give us a lot of models for an asexual relationship. I would hope that we'd be more mature than middle school though as it's not an age that I care to repeat. (-:
Maybe we can develop our own models?
Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Therese, Great idea!

Jen