Haven for the Human Amoeba

I whole-heartedly agree this feud is getting to be a little much. I know that both Nickie and Blast have been trying to gain our sympathies but enough is enough this is making them both look immature and insufferable. If they are seeking partners then they are alienating alot of potential mates. Remember the advice that they told me when I joined this group... DON'T FEED THE TROLL or trolls.

Ok here is a new topic. I found this article online yesterday and was wondering what other asexuals think:

http://clearinghouse.mwsc.edu/manuscripts/384.asp

This survey gives a report on what kind of company, relationship, and trust that people (mainly straight, sexually active people) seek but what kind of company do other asexuals seek since A-dar (a topic covered in AVEN) is not possible and there are few social clubs fstrictly for asexuals. While I prefer the company of other males I have found that I am much more trusting and open with females.

karasikj@... wrote: Any way we could stop filling up each other's inboxes with this? How about a new topic... Anyone?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Yahoo! Groups Sponsor [input] [input] [input] [input] [input] [input] [input] I'm a Man Woman seeking a Man Woman City or Zip: [input] [input]

Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

Celebrate Yahoo!'s 10th Birthday! Yahoo! Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I've tried coming up with new topics several times, but my messages never get through. How about music, or movies? I watched Spongebob Squarepants The Movie on DVD the other day. It was hilarious. Anyone seen Million Dollar Baby?

Any way we could stop filling up each other's inboxes with this? How about a new topic... Anyone?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

I only prefer the company of myself. I do not actively socialize or look for friends, female or otherwise. Everything I do, I do by myself, including going to the movies. Only once in a great while do I "go out". For instance, this Friday some of my co-workers are meeting at a local bar for some beers, and I will most likely go. If I do it will be the second time in over two years. <-- Discuss.

I whole-heartedly agree this feud is getting to be a little much. I know that both Nickie and Blast have been trying to gain our sympathies but enough is enough this is making them both look immature and insufferable. If they are seeking partners then they are alienating alot of potential mates. Remember the advice that they told me when I joined this group... DON'T FEED THE TROLL or trolls.

Ok here is a new topic. I found this article online yesterday and was wondering what other asexuals think:

http://clearinghouse.mwsc.edu/manuscripts/384.asp

This survey gives a report on what kind of company, relationship, and trust that people (mainly straight, sexually active people) seek but what kind of company do other asexuals seek since A-dar (a topic covered in AVEN) is not possible and there are few social clubs fstrictly for asexuals. While I prefer the company of other males I have found that I am much more trusting and open with females.

karasikj@... wrote: Any way we could stop filling up each other's inboxes with this? How about a new topic... Anyone?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Yahoo! Groups Sponsor [input] [input] [input] [input] [input] [input] [input] I'm a Man Woman seeking a Man Woman City or Zip: [input] [input]

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

Celebrate Yahoo!'s 10th Birthday! Yahoo! Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Celebrate Yahoo!'s 10th Birthday! Yahoo! Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web http://birthday.yahoo.com/netrospective/

Ok here is a new topic. I found this article online yesterday and was wondering what other asexuals think:

http://clearinghouse.mwsc.edu/manuscripts/384.asp

This survey gives a report on what kind of company, relationship, and trust that people (mainly straight, sexually active people) seek but what kind of company do other asexuals seek since A-dar (a topic covered in AVEN) is not possible and there are few social clubs fstrictly for asexuals. While I prefer the company of other males I have found that I am much more trusting and open with females.

What is A-dar? (I don't want to read AVEN to find it.)

I would agree with the study from what I read, and your comment about not having asexual social clubs is well taken. IMHO, restaurants are better places to meet and the lighting is usually better, too. (I don't like talking to people in the dark.) Also, the "no smoking" areas seem to be better controlled in restaurants, at least in my state of California. Coffee shops and bookstores (sometimes you can find them together) are other places that are good for meetings.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Enough already with this fued! Both of you are acting very immature. Just get over it and let's talk about something worthwhile!

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Ever feel sad or cry for no reason at all? Depression. Narrated by Kate Hudson.

http://us.click.yahoo.com/Ntf6vA/esnJAA/d1hLAA/82ZolB/TM

--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

There are 6 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Re: About Nickie... From: "nickieand" <ezj544f@...> 2. Thanx for the advice From: "nickieand" <ezj544f@...> 3. Re: About Nickie... From: "dastraube1" <dastraube@...> 4. Re: About Nickie... From: blastido 5. Re: Re: About Nickie... From: karasikj@... 6. Re: Re: About Nickie... From: William Molina <wmolina7734@...>

---

---

Message

1

Date

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 19:03:44 -0000

From

"nickieand" <ezj544f@...>

Subject

Re: About Nickie...

dastraube1 said:

Hi,

Firstly I don't mind what you write, I also get angry when someone I want doesn't want me. So I understand you.

However, I thought YOU were extremely rude to me, when you said you wanted to relocate me. Your attitude towards me was not nice. It seemed you thought I was a cheap object you were buying. I was not rude back, I simply gave you a direct answer. I believe it's better to settle things quickly. I don't understand why you feel honesty is rude. It saves a lot of time, I think. How would you have felt if I had lied and said I wanted to be with you, when I didn't? You would have been a lot more angry then. Yes, to Americans like you I'm negative. Luckily there are good Americans. And again, I'm not being rude, just honest. And what are you then, anti-European...?

*Sigh*...I have not made up anything. Like I told Laura I have all the symtoms of vestibulitis. I just don't want to waste time and money on a doctor since I don't want to be "cured". I will not get an expensive diagnose simply to belong to a tiny web site. It's not worth it. (If some nice, possible partner asks that of me, I'll do it though). Laura understood me fine and accepted me, right up until I said I might try a female partner. Then she went nuts. So I don't think her problem with me was any medical condition. I have certainly NOT been rude to her in any way, or accused her, (unless she thinks being with a woman is rude). I didn't mind leaving her group either, that was fine with me. I can be a match with another medcel, but it must be combined with asexualism or celibacy. Otherwise it won't work. Since I am asexual, a female partner will in theory be just as good as a male partner. I keep as many doors open as possible. It's hard enough to find someone. I would probably prefer a man though.

Dastraube, I can sympathise with you. You're upset I didn't want you. Unfortunately that's a risk you take whenever you contact someone. It has happened to me several times, and I know it can sometimes be painful. So I actually know quite well how you feel. I can't really say anything more to comfort you, other than I'm sure you'll find a better match.

Nickie

I hope I don't appear like a mean person for what I'm about to write. I'm here after all to try to find a nice woman with whom I can spend my life. However, I've noticed a couple of unpleasant interactions between Nickie and other members of this forum and I think there is a pattern. Some time ago I met Nickie on the MedCel site. She had a nice ad placed there (like she does here) and it stated that she preferred remaining in Europe but was open to relocating. She's early thirties (31?) and I was 38 at the time. She lives in Sweden and I live in America. Still, I thought it was worth emailing her. She sent me a sarcastic reply back, something like "Have you forgotten already that we've emailed each other a few weeks back? We can't be friends. Goodbye." I thought either that she wasn't very nice or that someone had made her upset; I thought I'd assume the latter. I replied that I hadn't written her previously and that she must have me confused with someone else. Nickie replied and informed me that she thought I was someone from Scotland who had been writing her. She was interested to know who I was. I answered her how old I was, that I was from America, and that I assumed she probably wouldn't be open to moving from Europe but that her ad had interested me. I didn't want to appear presumptious. She replied "I was lucky to be born in the best place on Earth, Europe. I wouldn't take a downtrade, especially for an older man". We emailed a couple of times after that...I accusing her of not being nice and she asserting that she was. You folks can judge. Nickie had made up a medical condition in order to join MedCel. By the time I joined, it had been opened up to asexuals. From Laura, the MedCel owner, I understand that she and Nickie exchanged much unpleasant correspondence and accusations. My feeling is that interaction with Nickie led to Laura's decision to split the group into MedCels and asexuals.

---

---

Message

2

Date

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 19:06:35 -0000

From

"nickieand" <ezj544f@...>

Subject

Thanx for the advice

Thanks Jen + Avenydd + Therese,

Oh, I wasn't aware I could block a single member. That won't matter much though, because I don't worry about myself. I know who he is, so

=== message truncated ===

Celebrate Yahoo!'s 10th Birthday! Yahoo! Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web http://birthday.yahoo.com/netrospective/

f dsfh dsa fhasdfh rkughaldsvbj liuhv alahkr hlvul akhl kjhlvhfhv akljdfjkfvlhruhaldrfv lrkgh kjgha lkrghkrg i'm talking but no one's hearing it erfh er hreopifhvjvnx,vzr vhriu vkjdbfoirh oivbi!

tlshell@... wrote:

What is A-dar? (I don't want to read AVEN to find it.)

-Well apparently gay people have a sixth sense that allows them to spot out other gay people. This ability is similar to a radar hence the name gay-dar. A-dar would be the ability to spot other asexuals simply by looking at them or sensing them but I think that the notion of gay-dar and A-dar is just absurd.

IMHO, restaurants are better places to meet and the lighting is usually better, too.

-There should be an asexual themed restaurant but if that were the case then should certain items be eliminated from the menu due to their sexual nature. Like we wouldn't serve hot dogs, sausages, or oysters.

Celebrate Yahoo!'s 10th Birthday! Yahoo! Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

-There should be an asexual themed restaurant but if that were the case then should certain items be eliminated from the menu due to their sexual nature. Like we wouldn't serve hot dogs, sausages, or oysters.

Well, those are all meats, so maybe we should patronize vegetarian restaurants? Meat seems to have a male virility thing going with it anyway, much like the Marlboro cowboy theme.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Just a comment, but in my experience eliminating things becuase of their sexual nature isn't a paticularely empowering way to go about one's asexual life. If I avoided anything that was associated with sex I'd have to throw out half my things and never leave my house- purging the sexual to me seems both fruitless and way more effort than it's worth.

Instead, I try to examine things independent of their "sexual nature." That sausage reminds you of a a penis? Fan-tastic. Since I'm not called upon in my life to really THINK about penises all that much, I'm going to go ahead and judge it on it's other merits. For me what's liberating about asexuality is that I don't have to care about whether or not something's sexual, just curious if/why it's different for you all.

-DJ/AG

On 8 Mar 2004, 05:52 +00:00, William Molina said:

-There should be an asexual themed restaurant but if that were the case then should certain items be eliminated from the menu due to their sexual nature. Like we wouldn't serve hot dogs, sausages, or oysters.

Well, those are all meats, so maybe we should patronize vegetarian restaurants? Meat seems to have a male virility thing going with it anyway, much like the Marlboro cowboy theme.

Just a comment, but in my experience eliminating things becuase of their sexual nature isn't a paticularely empowering way to go about one's asexual life. If I avoided anything that was associated with sex I'd have to throw out half my things and never leave my house- purging the sexual to me seems both fruitless and way more effort than it's worth.

Instead, I try to examine things independent of their "sexual nature." That sausage reminds you of a a penis? Fan-tastic. Since I'm not called upon in my life to really THINK about penises all that much, I'm going to go ahead and judge it on it's other merits. For me what's liberating about asexuality is that I don't have to care about whether or not something's sexual, just curious if/why it's different for you all.

...

The trouble with communicating via the Internet is that people are unable to detect sarcasm or things meant jokingly. The restaurant idea was a joke I mean seriously if we had to eliminate all things with even the slightest sexual connotation then all skyscrappers would have to be torn down because of there phallic nature, every rap album would be censored, we would return to swimwear of the 1930's since speedo's and bikinis would be too sexy. I understand your point but I think you took the context of my last email much too seriously.

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I fully agree . As an asexual , sex doesn't usually cross my mind . Someone who spots a weiner and thinks sex right away is not an asexual in my opinion ( or at least a different variety) .

...

Thats kind of self-righteous of you isn't it?

Celebrate Yahoo!'s 10th Birthday! Yahoo! Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

-Well apparently gay people have a sixth sense that allows them to spot out other gay people. This ability is similar to a radar hence the name gay-dar. A-dar would be the ability to spot other asexuals simply by looking at them or sensing them but I think that the notion of gay-dar and A-dar is just absurd.

Well, as someone who has some degree of gaydar (you do *not* need to be gay yourself to have it), I don't think it's absurd. It's not a sixth sense. It's just pattern recognition. Not all gay people are alike, of course; nor are all straight people, or all asexual people, or all anythings. But sometimes groups of people tend to have certain similarities (in this case, in their nonverbal social behaviors) that, once you've observed those characteristics in enough members of that particular group, you develop the ability to notice them in new people you encounter. Do *all* gay people have the same "gay-signal" characteristics? Certainly not. Does an occasional straight person have some of the same characteristics that are usually associated with gay people? Yes, and those people are often mistaken for being gay. Is it culturally mediated? I'm sure of it. But at least within contemporary American and Canadian culture, there are enough gay people sharing enough of the same characteristics with each other, and few enough non-gay people who also share them, that gaydar is a natural development in social pattern recognition among people who have spent a lot of time around the gay community.

In order to find out whether asexual people have enough shared characteristics for an "a-dar" to be possible, we'd need to have enough asexual people spending enough time together to have an asexual community, and see whether any such similarities would emerge.

IMHO, restaurants are better places to meet and the lighting is usually better, too.

Lots of people (not just asexual ones) like to meet in restaurants. I, however, am autistic, and restaurants are *not* autistic-friendly places. (I don't doubt there are some autistic people who enjoy going to restaurants. But most autistic people have sensory sensitivities that make it challenging.) Considering that asexuality--or at least being "out* about asexuality--seems to be somewhat more common among autistics than among neurotypicals, could it be possible to create an asexual community that would be easy for asexual autistics to participate in?

J8

I completely got that your were being sarcastic, but it got me thinking so I thought I'd run with it for the sake of sparking discussions (I was having a serious response to your comments, but not taking them seriously.)

My idea of an asexual restaurant:

Dining room-sized tables to discourage parties of two- either eat with tons of friends or get to meet random strangers over your meal. (Also a diner-style booth for those who'd rather remain solitary.)

No candles

Couches in a circle, either for lounging or to serve as a meeting area for different groups (they can be reserved ahead of time)

A wide-open greenspace, people can check out picnic blankets, frisbees, soccer balls, etc.

Open Mic every thursday

Big Fat Organized bulletin board for posting everything from events to activity requests (Looking for 4 people to play basketball, email:)

Markers in bathrooms to encourage stall wall discourse

-DJ

Just a comment, but in my experience eliminating things becuase of their sexual nature isn't a paticularely empowering way to go about one's asexual life. If I avoided anything that was associated with sex I'd have to throw out half my things and never leave my house- purging the sexual to me seems both fruitless and way more effort than it's worth.

Instead, I try to examine things independent of their "sexual nature." That sausage reminds you of a a penis? Fan-tastic. Since I'm not called upon in my life to really THINK about penises all that much, I'm going to go ahead and judge it on it's other merits. For me what's liberating about asexuality is that I don't have to care about whether or not something's sexual, just curious if/why it's different for you all.

...

The trouble with communicating via the Internet is that people are unable to detect sarcasm or things meant jokingly. The restaurant idea was a joke I mean seriously if we had to eliminate all things with even the slightest sexual connotation then all skyscrappers would have to be torn down because of there phallic nature, every rap album would be censored, we would return to swimwear of the 1930's since speedo's and bikinis would be too sexy. I understand your point but I think you took the context of my last email much too seriously.

---

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Yahoo! Groups Links

hmm...but why discourage seating for two-somes but think to provide seating for those who want to dine alone? I know this is a light topic, but many asexuals like to pair.

Ok, so this may be more detail than you want to hear:

It's not about pairings, per se, it's about the recognition of pairings in the public sphere. Compare a romantic candlelit restaurant to a pub. In the one you have a room divided up into little spheres of light, each of which has two people in it. It's public- people can recognize each other, see who's there with who and gossip about it, but the only "relevant" interaction that happens is between someone and their date. A pub, on the other hand, is a community space. Everyone has a relationship with everyone, and all of them are playing out in the room at the same time. Though some relationships are certianly closer (and people can always huddle in the corner if they have something intimate to discuss) it's not a space that's designed to divide people up in any way. Sitting alone at the bar, sharing a pint with a loved one or dancing on the table- you can form relationships or not however you chose.

-DJ

hmm...but why discourage seating for two-somes but think to provide seating for those who want to dine alone? I know this is a light topic, but many asexuals like to pair.

Yahoo! Groups Links

Blastido,

You made a comment in that last post that was very interesting. How does one "become asexual", exactly? Is it same way one "becomes" homosexual or heterosexual?

I believe for most individuals that it is more a discovery, rather than a transformation. Either their natural inclination is towards asexuality, or they were forced into a sexual relationship and realised it was wrong for them - or something of that nature. Perhaps I may be presumptous and say that many homosexual folks go through the same thing, too. They don't just *become* gay - they just happen to realise that they prefer the same gender.

For the benifit of the group, can you please explain how you became asexual? Thanks.

~Kt. 26/F/NJ

Aside from the fued being over and I am very glad for that.

I wanted to mention that Laura is not anyone to take an opinion or statement to be of truth or fairness. She is a homophobe, drug addicted and accused me of being a nut case because I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.

She sent out a letter to all but me saying terrible things. One member sent me a copy of the letter via snail mail. If anyone in this group had seen this email you would be blown away at the nastiness although we had no bad words.

She suggested I had mental problems cuz I live with my folks a lot meaning I stay at their place. Well, now she stays at her parents and states its as a caregiver when it's truly for financial reasons and she is in no physical shape to be a caregiver.

Anyway, this is my first and likely last time to blast someone.

She is an awful person.

Jen

dastraube1 said:

Hi,

Firstly I don't mind what you write, I also get angry when someone I want doesn't want me. So I understand you.

However, I thought YOU were extremely rude to me, when you said you wanted to relocate me. Your attitude towards me was not nice. It seemed you thought I was a cheap object you were buying. I was not rude back, I simply gave you a direct answer. I believe it's better to settle things quickly. I don't understand why you feel honesty is rude. It saves a lot of time, I think. How would you have felt if I had lied and said I wanted to be with you, when I didn't? You would have been a lot more angry then. Yes, to Americans like you I'm negative. Luckily there are good Americans. And again, I'm not being rude, just honest. And what are you then, anti-European...?

*Sigh*...I have not made up anything. Like I told Laura I have all the symtoms of vestibulitis. I just don't want to waste time and money on a doctor since I don't want to be "cured". I will not get an expensive diagnose simply to belong to a tiny web site. It's not worth it. (If some nice, possible partner asks that of me, I'll do it though). Laura understood me fine and accepted me, right up until I said I might try a female partner. Then she went nuts. So I don't think her problem with me was any medical condition. I have certainly NOT been rude to her in any way, or accused her, (unless she thinks being with a woman is rude). I didn't mind leaving her group either, that was fine with me. I can be a match with another medcel, but it must be combined with asexualism or celibacy. Otherwise it won't work. Since I am asexual, a female partner will in theory be just as good as a male partner. I keep as many doors open as possible. It's hard enough to find someone. I would probably prefer a man though.

Dastraube, I can sympathise with you. You're upset I didn't want you. Unfortunately that's a risk you take whenever you contact someone. It has happened to me several times, and I know it can sometimes be painful. So I actually know quite well how you feel. I can't really say anything more to comfort you, other than I'm sure you'll find a better match.

Nickie

I hope I don't appear like a mean person for what I'm about to write. I'm here after all to try to find a nice woman with whom I can spend my life. However, I've noticed a couple of unpleasant interactions between Nickie and other members of this forum and I think there is a pattern. Some time ago I met Nickie on the MedCel site. She had a nice ad placed there (like she does here) and it stated that she preferred remaining in Europe but was open to relocating. She's early thirties (31?) and I was 38 at the time. She lives in Sweden and I live in America. Still, I thought it was worth emailing her. She sent me a sarcastic reply back, something like "Have you forgotten already that we've emailed each other a few weeks back? We can't be friends. Goodbye." I thought either that she wasn't very nice or that someone had made her upset; I thought I'd assume the latter. I replied that I hadn't written her previously and that she must have me confused with someone else. Nickie replied and informed me that she thought I was someone from Scotland who had been writing her. She was interested to know who I was. I answered her how old I was, that I was from America, and that I assumed she probably wouldn't be open to moving from Europe but that her ad had interested me. I didn't want to appear presumptious. She replied "I was lucky to be born in the best place on Earth, Europe. I wouldn't take a downtrade, especially for an older man". We emailed a couple of times after that...I accusing her of not being nice and she asserting that she was. You folks can judge. Nickie had made up a medical condition in order to join MedCel. By the time I joined, it had been opened up to asexuals. From Laura, the MedCel owner, I understand that she and Nickie exchanged much unpleasant correspondence and accusations. My feeling is that interaction with Nickie led to Laura's decision to split the group into MedCels and asexuals.

Yahoo! Groups Links

It seems most of you misunderstood. It wasn't a feud. I hope I saved someone though, someone who's been quiet. That's all I can do.

I largely agree with Jen about Laura/Medcel Lady. Apparently Laura is in constant pain, and that affects her brain in a negative way. Maybe the illness itself also does that, I don't know. She could say and do unpredictable and unlogical things sometimes. Other times she seemed normal. It's sad, and there's no real cure even though her symtoms may be eased by some treatments. I can feel some sympathy for her, but I don't think she should have the right to hurt people. It's also difficult to belong to a group where the moderator can go nuts at any moment. Personally I couldn't accept the homophobia. From what she said I was the last remaining female who left her group.

Nickie

Company help couples wanting 'sexless marriages' A special matchmaking agency has been set up in China to serve people who want sexless marriages

The firm has been launched in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, in the east of the country.

The agency provides services for those who want to get married, but without sex because they have physical or mental problems, reports Crienglish.com quoting The Nanjing Daily.

A spokesman for the agency said he was "positive about the prospect of the business because many people from other provinces have come to use the service."

Copyright © 2005 Ananova Ltd

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1210171.html Story filed: 09:10 Tuesday 14th December 2004 -->

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Oregon-Asexuals

Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

So what does everyone make of this "Bird flu" pandemic?

Don't go to southeast Asia and pet the birds. (-:

It'll make it's way to the west eventually, and I hope we are ready for it by then.

On a side note, rather morbid, this could save social security...bad thought, I know. I often think the Republicans are up to no good, so when they do things such as not funding AIDS, or failing to prepare for the bird flu, this kind of thought often occurs to me.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

I watched Spongebob Squarepants The Movie on DVD the other day. It was hilarious. Anyone seen Million Dollar Baby?

I have read that "Million Dollar Baby" is Clint Eastwood's revenge on the wheelchair crowd.

Other than that, I only pay to see SciFi, Fantasy, Mysteries, or Suspense/Spy movies. Anything else, I consider blatantly boring. I haven't got a DVD player yet so if I watch at home, it's on VHS.

The last time I recall going to a theatre was to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which was pretty damn good.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Asexual Healing

An emerging minority gets literal about sexual liberation

—By Laine Bergeson, Utne magazine March / April 2005 Issue

Are you asexual? Discuss sexual minorities in the Sex forum

Baby, when I think about you, I think about l-o-o-ve." So begins the hoary ballad by Bad Company, a British band whose "Feel Like Makin' Love" has been a sleazy anthem for the horny masses since 1975. But what if you think about other people and feel like making lunch? There is a minority group out there that has absolutely no interest affirming love by exchanging bodily fluids. Coalescing on the Internet, this small but increasingly vocal faction claims to be perfectly healthy and happy not to be getting any.

These self-described asexuals are "announcing to the world that they are not broken or defective, or sexually dysfunctional" writes Sylvia Pagan Westphal in New Scientist (Oct. 16, 2004). They are simply "100 percent uninterested in sex." Unlike celibates, who choose to abstain from intercourse even if they are physically attracted to another person, asexuals claim to not be aroused by either gender at any time.

The newly organized drive to bring asexuality out of the closet is taking a lead from the gay liberation movement, according to the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). Like the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community, AVEN strives to offer asexuals a sense of belonging without infringing on their diverse senses of identity. For instance, some people identify as both gay and asexual, some masturbate (albeit without fantasizing about a specific person), while others enter sexual relationships as a way to express romantic or emotional attraction (but not to satisfy a sex drive). Many asexuals describe "romance drives," or the need to be intimate, but not sexual, with another person.

One of the challenges asexuals face is convincing the rest of the sex-crazed world that they really aren't interested. "Most people find that at some point or another they want to get it on with another person," writes Punk Planet sex columnist Sex Lady (Jan./Feb. 2005), "and to fall outside of that huge mainstream can be difficult." Asexuals argue that underreported studies have shown asexual activity in certain animal populations, and a recent human survey in the United Kingdom found that 1 percent of respondents had "never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all." While there's been virtually no research on the genetic origins of asexuality, John DeLamater, a human sexuality expert at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, says that categorizing a percentage of the population as predisposed to sexual inactivity might be novel "but it's not unreasonable."

Sex Lady admits initially thinking that asexuals are "latent queers or abuse survivors who are horrified by the prospect of sexual contact," since a lack of sexual desire is often the result of physical or emotional trauma. While she still believes there are a number of folks who fall into this category (and someone who is sexless and unhappy should seek medical help), Sex Lady is now convinced that asexuality is more than a state of mind. It's "not just that they have no interest in their unkempt, lazy-ass lover of 20 years," she writes. They have "a complete lack of desire for any kind of sexual contact."

As the asexuality movement gains momentum, more asexuals are out and proud. AVEN founder David Jay, 22, works hard to raise awareness by giving talks, networking, and getting the topic in the media. He believes a true movement is under way. Indeed, asexuals are discussing what it means to be A-sexy and have A-pride. And as all effective movements eventually do, AVEN has a newly minted slogan T-shirt available on its Web site (www.asexuality.org): "Asexuality: It's not just for amoebas anymore."

http://www.utne.com/pub/2005_128/promo/11563-1.html

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Oregon-Asexuals

Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail - Find what you need with new enhanced search. Learn more.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I only prefer the company of myself. I do not actively socialize or look for friends, female or otherwise. Everything I do, I do by myself, including going to the movies. Only once in a great while do I "go out". For instance, this Friday some of my co-workers are meeting at a local bar for some beers, and I will most likely go. If I do it will be the second time in over two years. <-- Discuss.

I don't go out much either. I really enjoy my computer time, and since I work full-time, there's never enough time at home. I enjoy grocery shopping, it's one of my few regular "outings" though I suppose you have to live alone and be as private as me to understand that feeling.

I feel like the only way I would really want to live with someone is if they were mostly self-sufficient and merely wanted to share expenses and an occasional meal without feeling hostile about the arrangement. They also need to be frugal and not mind the cold, because I don't like to spend a lot on utilities but can't stand heat...I'm comfortable in short sleeves at 72 degrees F. but prefer around 68 degrees so I can wear more clothes comfortably. I really suffer in the summertime in southern California.

On the plus side, I have a large library and don't mind sharing it.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

What about chocolate sauce and whipped cream ? Those aren't meat , but still sexual in nature .. And Chocolate seems to have some special effect on women !! .. Hehehehe

Chocolate has proven its medicinal value for many things, Blastido, and it also has a nice taste. I can't say however that it has any sexual attraction for me, and neither does whipped cream. In fact, I rather resent the idea that either should because if I were to think about it, that would take some of the pleasure out of them as food.

I'm a vegetarian, so the meat stuff doesn't bother me. I can imagine a diehard meat eater wouldn't be so easygoing on this topic though.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

It was unfair to both Laura and Nickie for me to introduce their disputes into this forum and I apologize for doing so. I didn't have Laura's permission to impugn Nickie with her view of what took place in the Medcel group and now Laura is being impugned and is not here to defend herself.