Haven for the Human Amoeba

Hi Jim, I'm glad to hear back from you and sorry about me taking so long to read and respond. I've had some added responsibilities recently.

I like the option of an (all in one) place where I can nap, go to bed or socialize when or as long as I would like too. Then if the food is either at the same place or nearby that would make it just perfect for me. As long as I feel safe and the other things I mentioned, then I'm cool pretty much anywhere we agree to meet. I'll have to fly there and have no clue how to get to the destination after the flight arrival.

I am interested in gathering with both groups. I'd like to meet you also Jim.

Jen

On 31 Jan 2006, J Noble said:

Hmm, This is something I've always wanted although it's a little scarry cuz it's always been online without true possibilities. LOL

Well Jen, you are someone I think I would enjoy meeting, so I really hope you would come! (If not to an asexual con, would you consider coming to Autreat?)

Jim what area or state are you considering?

Well, I live in Syracuse New York, so unfortunately California would be way out of driving distance for me. I have family in metro Detroit, so could potentially drive to Detroit and drop off cats for my mother to take care of, then come to a gathering within driving distance of Detroit.

A couple of years ago when we were looking for a new venue for Autreat, I checked out a college campus in southern Ontario (nearest airports would be either Toronto or Buffalo, and it's also accessible by train) that we couldn't use for Autreat because we need child care facilities, but it would have been great for a gathering of adults. If that area would be acceptable, I could call that college and ask about their current rates and dates available.

Campuses, by the way, have a lot going for them as gathering sites. They're usually considerably cheaper than hotel rooms, and they offer a place to have daytime activities and overnight lodging all on-site, without having to commute back and forth. You can stay up late at night, talking and socializing, then when you get tired just walk down the hall to your room. If you want to take a break (or a nap) in the middle of the day, you can go do that, and then come rejoin the group when you're ready, again without a commute.

An alternative I *don't* recommend is a daytime conference center, with people staying off-site at hotels overnight. That would cost a lot more, require transportation arrangements between the conference center and whatever hotels people stay at, and break up the time to hang out together.

Some hotels have both lodging and conference rooms available (as well as, usually, restaurants), offering similar benefits to a college campus, and even more luxuries (usually nicer rooms, housekeeping service, etc.), but, again, those usually cost way more. If it ends up being a small group, some of the more modest hotel chains (like Red Roof or Econo Lodge) might have conference rooms we could rent. I could do some cost comparisons between campuses and lower-budget motels.

If we want to make it really low-budget, and are willing to rough it, we could look for a campground where we could pitch tents. Same benefits of having a self-contained space, but with less comforts, trading off for lower cost.

What do people think? Who's in? Thoughts about location or type of venue? Volunteers for planning committee?

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Hi All, Camping would be great except many will be flying in from other states such as myself. This would pretty much make it impossible. Also, if the camp site had exactly the plants I can't be around then I would be very ill due to allergic responses. One thing I cannot cope with is cottonwood trees. They make me super sick.

I do love camping even though I don't think it will work for this type of meeting since people are coming from different states and some may arrive from different countries.

Jen

Jim,

I liked your idea of a camping experience. My kid has 4 legs and a tail (woof, woof) and I can't bear to leave him at a kennel. If there was a dog-friendly campground, that might be something fun. Also affordable, too. I camp with a medieval re-enactment group quite a bit, so we are used to camping with bare-bones amenities. (a hose with running water is a luxury item)

~Katie.

Hi Jim, Well, we can bring board games, volley ball at a park, poetry reading, short stories, stand up humorous experiences. We could even play softball if people have some of the equipment. The last time I played softball, I was the hitter and this guy named Richard in a power chair ran the bases in his chair. We practiced a lot and got him down to 30 to 60 seconds. It was a blast especially cuz he got so good at the speed. We laughed our butts off cuz we knew no one was expecting us to play that well together as 2 person doing what is normally done by one person.

Jen

On 2 Feb 2006, Renee X said:

I may be able to attend, all depends on the timing. Im buying a house and may be changing jobs in the near future, so anything before late summer would be out.....plus the best friend is getting hitched in october....so its basically just shimmying a trip in between that. how long would this be anyways? a weekend...3 days?

How about 3 days, the week of July 4? That's an easy time for most people to get off work. We could start either Sunday or Monday, depending on venue costs. (Some places charge a lot more for weekends than for weekdays, so there would be a financial advantage to starting on Monday.)

But, again, what would we *do* there? What kind of structure would the event have? I can think of a couple of rough possibilities:

1) Borrowing heavily from the "conference" events I've worked on before: A program of group discussions in the mornings, on topics (chosen in advance based on polling participants) relevant to asexuality; a program of pre-planned recreational activities after lunch (like what? what do you guys do for fun?); no pre-programmed activities in the evenings, but a bulletin board where anyone can post a note saying, "I'm interested in X activity, anyone who's also interested please join me," and people can link up for activities, or hang out for conversations, just spontaneously.

2) Recreational activities all day long (what activities??); asexuality discussion sessions in the evenings.

3) No predetermined agenda at all, just gather together in the same place and hope it turns out to be fun.

I'd be comfortable with either 1 or 2, or some other variation that would allow me to know, before I go, what I can expect to experience there. #3 is just too vague for me.

We could also have an exhibit area, if anyone is interested in making displays with information and/or art about asexuality and asexual people.

Anybody else have any ideas? If you had three days to spend with other asexual people, what would you want to do with them?

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Yahoo! Groups Links

Shelly, It's never been just for Americans. all Asexuals are welcome.

Jen

hey who stated that the haven was ever just for Americans, or is it? Coz I would love to attend the gathering too but I live in Australia!!!

"An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction."

I would like to propose additional definitions to "asexual""

Someone who experiences sexual attraction but doesn't act upon it.

and

Someone who is approached by sexual attraction from others and is unreceptive or refuses sexual advances from others.

This best describes me.

I like the option of an (all in one) place where I can nap, go to bed or socialize when or as long as I would like too. Then if the food is either at the same place or nearby that would make it just perfect for me.

So that would mean either a motel with meeting facilities, or a college campus kind of place.

What do you need to feel safe there?

I am interested in gathering with both groups. I'd like to meet you also Jim.

Well, for Autreat (Autism Network International annual retreat, for people on the autism spectrum and for family members and friends and allies), you can get information on the web at www.ani.ac/autreat.html, and/or you can join the Autreat information group by going to www.yahoogroups.com/group/autreatinfo and clicking "Join this group." And once again I'll make this offer: If at least four or five other asexual people attend and want to have an asexuality discussion one evening, we can do that.

For an Asexual-Con, I'd like to hear from more people about what they'd like to do at one, because that will be important in figuring out what facilities we'd need.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Hi Jim, Well, we can bring board games, volley ball at a park, poetry reading, short stories, stand up humorous experiences. We could even play softball if people have some of the equipment.

Thank you for suggesting those ideas. Anyone else have more ideas? Or comments about which of Jen's ideas you like or don't like?

The last time I played softball, I was the hitter and this guy named Richard in a power chair ran the bases in his chair. We practiced a lot and got him down to 30 to 60 seconds. It was a blast especially cuz he got so good at the speed. We laughed our butts off cuz we knew no one was expecting us to play that well together as 2 person doing what is normally done by one person.

That sound neat! Where was this? I'm a power chair user too. Well, actually I have both a power chair and a manual one, and just today I finally got new batteries installed in my power chair, so I can go zooming again. :-)

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Hi! I am a 36 year old Georgia Peach living near Albany, NY and I just joined this group. I actually thought I was the only person in the world who felt asexual. I am interested in reading the other posts and finding out more about the group.

Hi Jim, I think you said the college was cheapest. I don't know what the prices are at a college. I do know that I need a place to go for quiet down time when I need it or just want to regroup. Here at home I take time to be quiet/ regroup between most all events I do each day. So let's say I go to a class, then I take some time to myself and then go to another class. I have 2 classes I do on Monday's and there is an hour between the two, so I eat lunch and relax before the next class. On Wednesday, I have a 2 hour class with a 15 minute break in the middle and then afterwards, again I take some Jen time.

So for me it, I would like to have everything nearby simply because I will not know the area and I will not have my van because the distance is so vast. I do not want to drive cross country so I will fly. I've never left an airport without someone their to give me a ride so this will be new and a little scary because I won't know how to get to the next destination. I'm not sure if I should rent a car or take a cab.

Jen

On 15 Feb 2006, J Noble said:

I like the option of an (all in one) place where I can nap, go to bed or socialize when or as long as I would like too. Then if the food is either at the same place or nearby that would make it just perfect for me.

So that would mean either a motel with meeting facilities, or a college campus kind of place.

What do you need to feel safe there?

I am interested in gathering with both groups. I'd like to meet you also Jim.

Well, for Autreat (Autism Network International annual retreat, for people on the autism spectrum and for family members and friends and allies), you can get information on the web at www.ani.ac/autreat.html, and/or you can join the Autreat information group by going to www.yahoogroups.com/group/autreatinfo and clicking "Join this group." And once again I'll make this offer: If at least four or five other asexual people attend and want to have an asexuality discussion one evening, we can do that.

For an Asexual-Con, I'd like to hear from more people about what they'd like to do at one, because that will be important in figuring out what facilities we'd need.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Yahoo! Groups Links

You are in the right place if you think you are in the right place. You are in the right place if you want to be here. There are people who are fully compatible with your "sexuality." Eroticism is hard to define. It is different for different people, and among individuals it mutates from asexuality to various shades of "horniness". Your sexuality fits some people who are into b&d and "power" relationships. The world of bdsm has a whole range of different folks.

I am not sure if this list is the right place for me. I am not into physical stimulation. I would much rather have mentally erotic stimulation, erotic teasing, mind-fucking more or less.. but nothing physical.

I feel that if I could find someone, male or female who is into being mentally stimulated, non-physical stimulation, mental or psychological eroticism then, that would be a start.

Actual physical sex is not what I seek. I would like to stay clear of it. Is there anyone else here that feels this way.

Am I in the right place wanting what I want. If not, maybe someone can tell me of such a listserv or discussion group that is into mental erotic stimulation.

stefburn

Hey everyone! Just an introduction. I'm new to the group, been looking for a place like this for a long time. I'm a 25 y.o. male who recently discovered the existance of asexuality. It explained so much in my life. I love meeting new people so if you ever want to chat...hit me up!!

Hey everyone! Just an introduction. I'm new to the group, been looking for a place like this for a long time. I'm a 25 y.o. male who recently discovered the existance of asexuality. It explained so much in my life. I love meeting new people so if you ever want to chat...hit me up!!

You are in the right place if you think you are in the right place. You are in the right place if you want to be here. There are people who are fully compatible with your "sexuality." Eroticism is hard to define. It is different for different people, and among individuals it mutates from asexuality to various shades of "horniness". Your sexuality fits some people who are into b&d and "power" relationships. The world of bdsm has a whole range of different folks.

stefburn said:

I am not sure if this list is the right place for me. I am not into physical stimulation. I would much rather have mentally erotic stimulation, erotic teasing, mind-fucking more or less.. but nothing physical.

I feel that if I could find someone, male or female who is into being mentally stimulated, non-physical stimulation, mental or psychological eroticism then, that would be a start.

Actual physical sex is not what I seek. I would like to stay clear of it. Is there anyone else here that feels this way.

Am I in the right place wanting what I want. If not, maybe someone can tell me of such a listserv or discussion group that is into mental erotic stimulation.

stefburn

On 15 Feb 2006, J Noble said:

I like the option of an (all in one) place where I can nap, go to bed or socialize when or as long as I would like too. Then if the food is either at the same place or nearby that would make it just perfect for me.

So that would mean either a motel with meeting facilities, or a college campus kind of place.

What do you need to feel safe there?

I am interested in gathering with both groups. I'd like to meet you also Jim.

Well, for Autreat (Autism Network International annual retreat, for people on the autism spectrum and for family members and friends and allies), you can get information on the web at www.ani.ac/autreat.html, and/or you can join the Autreat information group by going to www.yahoogroups.com/group/autreatinfo and clicking "Join this group." And once again I'll make this offer: If at least four or five other asexual people attend and want to have an asexuality discussion one evening, we can do that.

For an Asexual-Con, I'd like to hear from more people about what they'd like to do at one, because that will be important in figuring out what facilities we'd need.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Hi everyone, I was never interested in sex with another person but I do get sexually aroused if I read a book or watch a movie....lol Anywho hoping that there is another asexual out there for me would love to fall in love and get married some day. Adopt kids and all that jazz. Am I talking to much....lol

Amber

First of all, let me just say how happy I am to have found this group. I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one out there with this preference.

I'm a 31 year old female living in Matawan, New Jersey. I was wondering if there are any people that meet up in the NYC/NJ area (I'll even consider PA and CT) and engage in group activities (dinner, drinks, museums) every once in a while. I would love to be able to meet people that I can relate to.

I'm still trying to come to terms with being an asexual person. This society puts so much emphasis and importance on sex, so this isn't easy for me. I WANT to want sex, but it just doesn't happen. Nothing turns me on. I am extremely attracted to men, but not in a sexual way ... does that make sense at all? I love affection, I love a warm body wrapped around me while I sleep, I love hugs and kisses ... but the thought of sex does not turn me on. In the past, when I've had boyfriends, I'd pretend to like sex, just for the sake of saving the relationship. But now I realize ... how is that fair? It's not fair to me because I am allowing someone to do something to me that I loathe. It's not fair to him because he deserves a woman that can be honest about her feelings.

So here I am ... sexless, partnerless, and lonely. I do go on dates, but I don't know why I bother because these meetings don't lead to anything more than kissing and cuddling on the couch. That's fine with me, but no testosterone-driven male is going to be patient with such an arrangement for long.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want a partner. I want to bond with a person and not feel like I have to have sex with them. Any nice males out there, 25 to 40 interested in meeting a funny, cute, nutty, Jersey girl? :-)

Hmm, too bad Methinks we would be a swell couple...except that I'm a girl. I have the same "sex drive" as you do so I know how you feel. I'm in elizabeth though I work in central jersey, so perhaps we should go asexual-man hunting sometime? TTFN Renee'

First of all, let me just say how happy I am to have found this group. I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one out there with this preference.

I'm a 31 year old female living in Matawan, New Jersey. I was wondering if there are any people that meet up in the NYC/NJ area (I'll even consider PA and CT) and engage in group activities (dinner, drinks, museums) every once in a while. I would love to be able to meet people that I can relate to.

I'm still trying to come to terms with being an asexual person. This society puts so much emphasis and importance on sex, so this isn't easy for me. I WANT to want sex, but it just doesn't happen. Nothing turns me on. I am extremely attracted to men, but not in a sexual way ... does that make sense at all? I love affection, I love a warm body wrapped around me while I sleep, I love hugs and kisses ... but the thought of sex does not turn me on. In the past, when I've had boyfriends, I'd pretend to like sex, just for the sake of saving the relationship. But now I realize ... how is that fair? It's not fair to me because I am allowing someone to do something to me that I loathe. It's not fair to him because he deserves a woman that can be honest about her feelings.

So here I am ... sexless, partnerless, and lonely. I do go on dates, but I don't know why I bother because these meetings don't lead to anything more than kissing and cuddling on the couch. That's fine with me, but no testosterone-driven male is going to be patient with such an arrangement for long.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want a partner. I want to bond with a person and not feel like I have to have sex with them. Any nice males out there, 25 to 40 interested in meeting a funny, cute, nutty, Jersey girl? :-)

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Hi, my name is alex, I am 30 years old , latino guy from Florida, I am happy I found this site, I would like to get in touch with other asexuals and eventually find a girl who would like to get married, have a family and love me without the pressure of having sex...I would like to learn from all of you guys.

bye

I would like to propose additional definitions to "asexual""

Someone who experiences sexual attraction but doesn't act upon it.

that would probably not be an asexual. This is commonly thought of as "celibacy."

and

Someone who is approached by sexual attraction from others and is unreceptive or refuses sexual advances from others.

Again, sounds more like celibacy to me.

This best describes me.

Fine. But it's not asexual as I understand it.

There could be some confused people who accept sexual advances and then find out they don't get anything out of it. I'd accept that as asexual sooner than I'd accept your concept.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

Old folk?

Hi, my name is alex, I am 30 years old , latino guy from Florida, I am happy I found this site, I would like to get in touch with other asexuals and eventually find a girl who would like to get married, have a family and love me without the pressure of having sex...I would like to learn from all of you guys.

bye

Yeah dude, I'm 25 so I'm really hoping that was a typo there! If I may answer though, I don't think you are old for this group. I haven't been on long but the place isn't run over with teenagers. Most of us seem to be in out 20's and 30's and some even a bit older than that. Remember though age is just a state of body, tis maturity that counts. I have met 19 year old men and 35 year old boys and sadly I prefer neither! TTFN Renee'

Old folk?

Hi, my name is alex, I am 30 years old , latino guy from Florida, I am happy I found this site, I would like to get in touch with other asexuals and eventually find a girl who would like to get married, have a family and love me without the pressure of having sex...I would like to learn from all of you guys.

bye

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Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

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Hi, well, it seems some people got intrigued when I questioned if I am an old folk, its not that I feel old, its just that so much time of my life has gone and I have not even started something that might be called a truly relationship, thats what I miss, I want to give all the romantic stuff I have hidden, I want to create a family, I want somebody to hug in a cold night...thats all, other than that i feel myself pretty young, I like extreme sports, I like hanging up with my friends...

well, thats it, waiting for your comments.

Hi,

I am 51, and finally trying to be true to myself. I find that I act how I think I should be. I'm married and I hate it. He feels he has certain rights over me, and I am not a normal woman. LOL, nothing normal about me, thank you!

Yeah I know how you feel well almost; I'm only 23 but I never had an actual real relationship.....I've had great relationship with my ex's but it was always based on they wanted sex I wasn't into it though of course I came threw for them..blah..blah....blah. I almost even got married once but knew it was all WRONG.....but I'm yearning to settle down and adopt children.

Hi, well, it seems some people got intrigued when I questioned if I am an old folk, its not that I feel old, its just that so much time of my life has gone and I have not even started something that might be called a truly relationship, thats what I miss, I want to give all the romantic stuff I have hidden, I want to create a family, I want somebody to hug in a cold night...thats all, other than that i feel myself pretty young, I like extreme sports, I like hanging up with my friends...

well, thats it, waiting for your comments.