Haven for the Human Amoeba

Hi Jimi,

I have found a lot of free chats online. Nevertheless, I am currently burnt-out on chatting. A few months ago, my whole lot revolved around chatting. I had more of an online life than a real-life. I had to stop. I had a hard time returning back to real life stuff. In December of last year, I move back into the real world. It's amazing how caught up I had become. The good thing about chatting is that it taught me to over-communicate. You have to do that when chatting cause you are missing the real life cues such as body language, facial expression,etc.

Btw, I've found a few other chats out there that used the avatars. I was also told about a new free chat that includes video and audio, similar to Paltalk. Supposedly, it doesn't pass on viruses like Paltalk.

I think it would be nice to see if I could find a womon in real life or online who is going through the same thing I'm going through regarding wanting an asexual relationship.

Usually, the people I've met that want an asexual relationship have some other unhealthy aspects going on in their lives. I am hoping to meet someone that is sane, healthy, and doesn't feel pressed to have sex.

She's out there somewhere.

Liz

Hey Liz, You are more than welcome for the post. VPChat was a really cool site years ago which was free and had different rooms with avitars where you could meet up with folks of your own age group and chat. Unfortunately, something happened to the demographics and the ownership of the site and though I belive it still exists, it now costs to belong and it sucks....hahahaha. Sometimes you just have to accept that "there is a time and a season for all things, and move on to bigger and better things. Hope to talk to you again. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you on the question, I don't have a chance to play on the computer as often as I would like to. Happy day to ya!!

Jimi

Elizabeth Sweet said:

Thanks for responding to my post jimalee. So you know it can be done too. What is VPlaces Chat, btw?

Liz

jimalee_shick said:

Hi Elizabeth,

I'm a 57 year old lady asexual from Houston, Texas. Glad to meet ya!!!

I know what you mean about online relationships with others. Years ago I was "involved" with a wonderful man from Scotland (VPlaces Chat) and I felt the relationship was one of the most rewarding and fulfilling I had had in many years. The reason being, that we were neither one there for cyber sex (the subject never came up), but for communication, sharing our love of the arts, and poetry....gosh, we composed some really, really good poetry seperately and collectively. We inspired each other....isn't that a great thing to have going for you? Both of us had been married in the past and had children but were living contented lives on our own. Thinking back, he may well have been an asexual too, but just didn't have a monicar to place on his situation and lifestyle.

He had never been to the USA and I had never been to Scotland, so we painted verbal pictures for each other to include not just a superficial descriptive of our homeland, but also included the sounds, smells, and colors of what we absorbed from where we lived. Some would say, ....ah, what a lovely friendship, but to us it was much more. We both felt that we had truly found a soul mate and were grateful for the time and the experience. I miss him, as he passed away several years ago and I felt the loss as profoundly for my beautiful man as much as I would have had we live together and shared years of life. And yes, I loved him with all my heart. So, I get what you are saying. Hope to talk to you more in the future. So glad you have joined the group

Elizabeth Sweet said:

I live in the MD/DC area and have posted before about liking cerebral stimulation rather than physical. I am eager to meet others who are into cerebral, psychological stimulation. I used to actually visit chatrooms and engaged in online relationships with women that were more meaningful than real life situations. It made me realized that I could be in love with someone I never met physically, and desire someone but only for the psychological and mental stimulation I was receiving. I long to have such a relationship again. The feelings I felt seemed so deep for my online partner that I did want to go further but accepted that online probably worked much better for us. I have even had higher quality relationships with men. I don't feel as pressured, I know I can back away anytime I want. I know a lot of people feel that online relationships are not healthy, or that the people involve are out of touch with reality. That could be true to a degree. But I have to admit I actually felt whole again, and really enjoyed time spent. I decided to back off for a while from my online life cause my offline life needed more tending to, and I was getting bored/burntout. I am thinking about trying it again though. So give me a shout-out if you have had similar experiences or just want to comment on what I've wrote.

An Amoeba Waiting To Happen

---

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

---

=== message truncated ===

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

She's out there somewhere.

Liz

You can't know that. Are you a crystal ball or what? :(

Yahoo!; (spam); Yahoo! Mail

http://login.yahoo.com/config/mail?.intl=gr

VeryLostBaby, I have been quietly sitting on the sidelines watching your rants. Now I feel compelled to speak up. You are in a relationship with a man that you love. I would assume that he loves you as well. But love alone is not a reason to stay in a relationship. There also needs to be compatibility. If you are a sexual person and he isn't, you can't change that! And the more you try to change who he is, the more he will resist your efforts. Maybe it's time to let go. You can't "fix" someone who isn't broken to begin with. Since he'd obviously rather have his mind stimulated than his loins, you should consider tossing him over to one of us asexual ladies.

As for you implying that asexual people are abnormal, you are quite mistaken. Just because we are not as common as sexual people, does not mean that we are not normal. I will put it in simpler terms. People with blue eyes are not as common as people with brown eyes, but that does not make blue eyed people abnormal. I could say the same thing about homosexuality. It's not as common as heterosexuality, but not abnormal. However, I probably shouldn't be getting into that right now. I really don't want to deal with the religious tirades that may follow.

It's really not nice to join a group and then proceed to judge and belittle it's members. If you want to know more about asexuality, then ask questions. Make an effort to understand. Be objective. But don't get on your high horse and condemn us for being "abnormal". It's not your place to do so.

I am asexual, but that does NOT mean I don't like romance or closeness. On the contrary, I love kisses and hugs and sleeping next to a warm, strong body at night. It's just that the act of sex does not appeal to me. I don't enjoy it. Why am I going to subject myself to an activity that I don't like? I am VERY attracted to men. I appreciate the beauty of the masculine body. I just don't want a certain part of his body finding it's way into a certain part of my body.

Maybe I have a hormone deficiency that is causing my lack of libido. Maybe certain events in my life shaped my distaste for sex. But the point is, I don't MIND being asexual. I'm not hurting anyone by being this way. I'm content to be sexless. I'm not at risk for unwanted pregnancy or STDs. So, why would I want fix what I don't consider to be broken in the first place? I have come to terms with my asexuality. And I really don't need to be put down for it (even if it's done indirectly) by narrow minded people that insist that THEIR way is the only NORMAL way. If I had a hankering for underage children or marine mammals, then you could chastise me. But since that's not the case, please keep your judgments to yourself.

In a message dated 3/13/2006 3:19:46 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, anell_olivia@... writes:

I appreciate all the answers and the help of all of you guys, but I really don't know where the confusion came from about a partner or saying that asexuality was abnormal. I clearly didn't write that, even though I see that people misunderstood what I posted. However, I never said I had a partner or that asexual people were abnormal. If you read very careful I just introduced myself and said how I felt physically and emotionally. I don't understand why I keep receiving messages of partners and abnormality.

In a message dated 3/13/2006 4:25:50 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, verylostbaby@... writes:

Of course I'm in the wrong place, but you cannot say that I do not have a right to be here, (You have the right to be wherever you choose, but you don't have the right to judge total strangers that you know nothing about.) remember , I do not have sex for the last 06 years, and for the 10 years left, very little. (And it is YOUR CHOICE to remain in a sexually incompatible relationship. I'm sorry to sound insensitive, but nobody is MAKING you stay with this man but yourself. What's keeping you there? Do you have children together? Do you share property? You don't want him to get custody of the pets? What is it? Love alone should not be the reason you stay in a relationship that is obviously making you miserable. I can't blame you for being frustrated. There is nothing wrong with you wanting sex with a man you love, but after 6 years of not getting the thing that would make you blissfully happy, isn't it time you moved on?) I'm maybe in the other side of your safe world, I represent the ones you damage (Say WHAT???) , you hurt on the way, (I do not mean you "you", but you asexual said people). (Asexual people do not "damage" sexual people if they are up front about their asexuality in the beginning. Your boyfriend may not have been up front about it, but then again, he may not have even known that there was even a term for the non-sexual feelings he had. However, you yourself said that the first 10 years of your relationship involved very little sex. If that wasn't a good indication from the start that the two of you were not compatible, then I don't know what is. If the sexual person cannot deal with the concept of asexuality, then he/she needs to move on and look for a more suitable mate. I'm not going to automatically become sexual just because someone else demands it of me. I can't change my asexual orientation any more than you can change your sexual orientation. I doubt your boyfriend is going to suddenly become a sexual being because you demand it of him. To have to sacrifice my body to a partner, just for the sake of "keeping the peace is "damaging" to me. So to avoid that scenario, I will not look for a relationship with a sexual person. Then no one gets hurt.)

So now , if I cannot understand your ways, you are saying that you are ok., the problem should be me ,(Who said that being sexual was a problem?) the whole asexual world, including this nwgrp is well and truly centered (God help us now) I'm the one is not allright...that is what you are saying??? (Nope, nobody is saying that you're the one with the problem. Now you are getting a little melodramatic and delusional. We recognize that some people like sex and some people don't. We happen to be the ones that don't. I, for one, am not against sexual people that want to have sex. As long as the people involved are consenting adults, then it's none of my business. I see nothing wrong with sex ... if you like it, go for it. If you don't like it, you don't have to engage in it. That's the beauty of freedom.) That is my problem now: Some others like me are maybe here watching and wondering how they got to love a low drive, asexual, dysfunction person and how they can help. (Being an asexual with low (or no) sex drive does not make one "dysfunctional". I, for one, am asexual and I function just fine, thank you very much.) It is also my problem when I see escapism, (Who's trying to escape? Maybe you should be the one escaping from a relationship that's not going anywhere.) instead of straight answer to questions posted. (We ARE answering your questions. But you are doing your very best to try to invalidate our thoughts, opinions, advice, stories, and experiences. We bother asking questions that you refuse to accept the answers to?)

I still want to know which two animals are those, the asexual ones... (Beats me. But just out of curiosity, I'd like to know too. I think I read somewhere that sea horses are asexual, but what do I know?)

Hi iillina:

First, I do not think that supressing a natural instinct is such a pleasure. Those ideas contradict themselves. We are animals, social animals but still , hormone oriented, not only to sex and procriate, but to all emotions and afections, denying that is denying life itself. Avoiding contact with another being is a response to the world of your conflicted mind. Your body is just the receptor of whatever is going on with your self, this is so not compatible with the lame theory that : "we are just diferent: . You are not diferent, you are the same, biological, social, fisiologically, the diference in you is this place that you found to hide your emotions, to say to the world, " I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, I'M JUST DIFERENT"

For me is "just nor enough" of a explanation. That you do not feel desires, romanticism, arousals, and are denying ultimely ORGASM, I know already, I live with one of you, but say that this is healthy, it is a completely diferent thing. and if it is not healthy it is sickness.

Even the way you mention sex (the stick in a whole) , a poor comparison, says to me that the way you see it, a mecanic act, and that is what I try to understand here, why you people hide your emotions, how you see the sexual act, I'm puzzled by this idea day by day...

I live with a wonderful guy that is sick, and I cannot just abandon him to some other partner, it is like if he had cancer or any other disease, he needs me now.

Really curios now about these two animals that you'd mention, how they get here through the evolutive chain??? By insemination? Which animals are that??

VLB

Verylost, there are a few things you need to realise. Asexuals are out there, simply because you're writing to quite a few of them right now, there are quite a few more at AVEN and whenever I publish my Israeli Asex forum anywhere, at least 1-2 new people join and say "hey, I'm not alone! I want to join your community!" and we're talking about Israeli people here, we have a small population.

Second, asexuality is not a disorder, because a disorder is a situation where a person suffers. If a person suffers then they might have something called HSDD or another disorder, and should see a doctor about that. But we don't.

It's not that we're missing something. Try to talk to a straight man about guys as lovers. He'll tell you one of the following: a. guys don't interest me sexually, I'm straight. b. sex with guys is repulsive for me, personally, because I'm straight. An asexual man would say similar things as the straight man, but he'd say the same things about girls as well. All this only refers to the sexual part - as you have already seen, asexuals do often seek romantic relationships.

Now: I think, like the others, that it's very sad when someone defines their relationship using the ritual of putting a stick in a hole. As joyful and passionate as that may be to you, it's a physical "game". You don't live with someone for their sexual organs, you live with them because they're wonderfun human beings and you want them to be happy. Well, your partner is happy that way and you should be happy for him! Bringing stress into his life by demanding something that he doesn't like or making him feel like he's sick just because he's content with his life defies the principle that you want him to be happy.

If you truly can't live with that, then the whole deal was never real and you should separate. If you trust each other VERY much, you can go and have sex with other people, with his agreement. Some couples do that, even sexual ones. There are also products that you can buy that will help you get satisfied by yourself. If he's willing to have sex with you rarely, that might be the best deal. Both of you give up a bit for the other. But be prepared to have very few of it, and that your partner won't enjoy it.

Good luck with your relationship.

p.s. you say that we were made to procreate by nature. Nature also made us hunters that don't have computers or tvs or showers or microwave ovens. We grew up since then, and now we can be what we want, not what nature supposedly wanted us to be a million years ago. By the way, research in some species of animals (at least 2) showed that there are asexual animals as well.

On 3/12/06, Verylost Baby < verylostbaby@...> wrote: I do love someone that is different than me, that is sick and does not know it.

This whole asexual thing is ok, can be, for you people who are happy being who you are, without having fluids exchanges of any sort with another human being, without making others suffers because of your choice and so on...

Live and let the others live...

I'm here not to make a point, I'm here because, this perverted idea is my reality, every day, I wait for a change in our relationship, and no way out... Everything else is fine, we manage our lives in such a way that I could not ask for anybody else but him, but why has to be without sex???

I do just think that many of you, a majority, is not asexual per se, there is no such a thing, we were genetically made to procriate and mate, if our psyches says NO, please does not blame nature, but society...

I do accept asexual people, I do not accept this concept that it is natural, nature way (of what????) some people are just diferent ....Many of you are not happy, many like the 23yrs old girl can be convinced that she was born like that (lol) when something could be wrong with her in another level...

Asexuality is not normal or natural. (PERIOD)

artcatuk <catoncanvas@... > wrote:

You are just afraid of anyone who is different to you. Many of us have had our hormones checked, and the results have come back 'normal'. Yet we still desire to NOT have sex. It is just the way we are. Try opening your mind to the possability that other people are DIFFERENT to you, and to eachother. I am perfectly happy being asexual. IF it is caused by some imbalance in MY hormone levels, I do not wish to have them 'corrected'. The thought of myself engaging in such an act sickens me. But I do not in any way look down on my sexual friends. They are all very prescious to me. They understand and accept me for who I am, and never try to change me.

Well...that's my 'two cents'. I hope you and your partner can come to some understanding.

*Edit - Had recent blood-test results back. All normal.*

--- In [email protected] , Verylost Baby

People sometimes cannot face their own demons...Also hormonal deficiencies can cause lost of libido, as well as hypertension, and many other ailments. All sickness.

Kate Haws said:

Asexuality is not sickness. I don`t like that idea. You should maybe change partner if the relationship is not enough for you. In fact I think myself that it is nature`s way to decrease human amount

Verylost Baby said:

Hi Anell:

I think we are in a reversal paralell, I have this assexual partner for 16 yrs , that seems to be happy being like that and making my life miserable for so many years... I'm brazilian and really confused about how to escape of this cage that I found myself in, since I do love him in so many ways... we do not have sex for the last 6 years, and I hate this assexual concept , just think that people who doesn't know themselves , escape to this "theory". We all have libido, if it does not manifest it is a disfunction of some kind... I was very sexual active before we met, now I think I'm also sick, not just him.

anell_olivia said:

Well, I am 23 yrs old, and I think that I am asexual. I feel no sexual desire toward no one. Neither do I feel attraction toward any sex (male/female). I have no desire of getting married in the future. I just dream of finding a guy best friend, who have my same condition and share as couples, but without sex, or those romanticism that could have....I am very confuse still, about this, but my desire doesn't have anything to do with sex, but to have a partner to share with...I am Spanish, Dominican, living in NJ haft of my life in this country actually, and I would accept any suggestion about asexuality because I am still about it...think u all...!

---

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

---

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Brings words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service .

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

People wake up. That you do not want sex, i got it.

That this will be good to help society, what a idea.!!! Who cares?

That something is very wrong with you people, that is my thinking...

VLB

tlshell@... wrote:

Asexuality is not sickness. I don`t like that idea. You should maybe change partner if the relationship is not enough for you. In fact I think myself that it is nature`s way to decrease human amount

I think it's more likely that it's one of several variations in human sexuality. Its usefulness is that there are adults free to help society with tasks that childrearers might be too busy to do.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

Ok let's put in this way...Asexuality is a word. Created by culture. If we are here now talking through these screens is because of the same thing you are denying...sex, withouth it no evolutive process no humanity , no culture or anything...Am I just crazy here or this makes sense to you??? You are using this word to hide yourself. To justify a lack of libido, that you think is is ok. If you do not want to have sex or romance or whatever, fine,but say that some people have no libido, just like that they were born diferent or got screwed on the way, but it is a healthy process, normal , natural, etc... that is where I see dysfunction.

VLB

I must agree with Kate....asexuality is not a dysfunction nor is it a sickness.....we aren't deprived of anything....we just don't have the needs of the "normal" (what is normal) majority. Does that make me dysfunctional????? I don't think so. I am content, I have everything in life that I desire, and I am free to concentrate on the important things of life....no restless nights here wondering what's wrong with me, where's my man, does he love me, blah, blah, blah. I also agree if you have the need for sexual interaction, perhaps the relationship that you are in in not a healthy one for you....we can love someone but that doesn't necessarily mean that we have to screw up our lives being with them....or there lives. Be true to yourself Very Lost Baby.

Asexuality is not sickness. I don`t like that idea. You should maybe change partner if the relationship is not enough for you. In fact I think myself that it is nature`s way to decrease human amount

Verylost Baby said:

Hi Anell:

I think we are in a reversal paralell, I have this assexual partner for 16 yrs , that seems to be happy being like that and making my life miserable for so many years... I'm brazilian and really confused about how to escape of this cage that I found myself in, since I do love him in so many ways... we do not have sex for the last 6 years, and I hate this assexual concept , just think that people who doesn't know themselves , escape to this "theory". We all have libido, if it does not manifest it is a disfunction of some kind... I was very sexual active before we met, now I think I'm also sick, not just him.

anell_olivia said:

Well, I am 23 yrs old, and I think that I am asexual. I feel no sexual desire toward no one. Neither do I feel attraction toward any sex (male/female). I have no desire of getting married in the future. I just dream of finding a guy best friend, who have my same condition and share as couples, but without sex, or those romanticism that could have....I am very confuse still, about this, but my desire doesn't have anything to do with sex, but to have a partner to share with...I am Spanish, Dominican, living in NJ haft of my life in this country actually, and I would accept any suggestion about asexuality because I am still about it...think u all...!

---

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

I do not want to be harsh, it is difficult for me to be in the relationship that I am for so long and have to read that it is just the way it is. I have to accept or leave him. I came here to understand. Not to be convinced, but understand why you think it is normal and how you think it is not affecting you or others. Harsh is to say to you the very truth, that maybe some studies can corroborate ( I did not research this yet) , that someway somehow, your response to the word is radical, definitive, and final, and you are doing more harm than good to your body. Your mind is the key , of course, and everybody is diferent, but what you have in common is getting you apart from the world, your disease is bitter cold and I really feel for you. Without accepting this, I'm being abstinent for the past years, and confused, it is not enough to have a wonderful partner without kisses, hugs, romance, sex and the whole deal. This does not make me less or more than anybody, just human. Best of luck to us all. VLB

I hope you are not intentionally insulting asexuals. How are we harming our bodies exactly? Surely it is the act of sex itself that causes more harm than good. Without engaging in that act the risk of contracting STDs is zero. The risk of 'tearing' down there is near zero. Our minds still get stimulated, but by things that are not sexual. Many of us (I include myself) are able to feel very deeply romanticly attracted to another. Simply...without there being any sex involved. So long as both involved understand the bounderies before the ralationship goes too far I see no harm being done.

Is the relationship you have with your partner not worth the sacrifice? That is not for me to judge. Just as it is not for you to judge how others feel and live thier lives.

I do not want to be harsh, it is difficult for me to be in the relationship that I am for so long and have to read that it is just the way it is. I have to accept or leave him. I came here to understand. Not to be convinced, but understand why you think it is normal and how you think it is not affecting you or others. Harsh is to say to you the very truth, that maybe some studies can corroborate ( I did not research this yet) , that someway somehow, your response to the word is radical, definitive, and final, and you are doing more harm than good to your body. Your mind is the key , of course, and everybody is diferent, but what you have in common is getting you apart from the world, your disease is bitter cold and I really feel for you. Without accepting this, I'm being abstinent for the past years, and confused, it is not enough to have a wonderful partner without kisses, hugs, romance, sex and the whole deal. This does not make me less or more than anybody, just human. Best of luck to us all. VLB

I do not want to insult, but we see things 360o ...

If I insult by saying what I think, it is for you to think why sounds an insult to you...

You said one thing that I realized already: fear.

Your "syndrome" has fear involved. Do you have many of them??

Why is important to you to avoid diseases, I mean, of course nobody wants that, but there are ways and ways to avoid it. What you personally are afraid of??

You started not to want to have sex because of fear of being sick, contracting AIDS or something?

Do you see that your mind is not separated from your body??

You are very young, not to want to express yourself sexually.

Why this is so damned wrong, ugly , bad, how come you get these feelings?

Love has no bounderies...Of course you get excited, and then, what you do?? Where goes your desires??

The relationship with my partner is a sick one, I told you already, I'm sick too. I can see that.

And you , can see that asexuality is just a word and in fact we are sexual beings??

VLB

I hope you are not intentionally insulting asexuals. How are we harming our bodies exactly? Surely it is the act of sex itself that causes more harm than good. Without engaging in that act the risk of contracting STDs is zero. The risk of 'tearing' down there is near zero. Our minds still get stimulated, but by things that are not sexual. Many of us (I include myself) are able to feel very deeply romanticly attracted to another. Simply...without there being any sex involved. So long as both involved understand the bounderies before the ralationship goes too far I see no harm being done.

Is the relationship you have with your partner not worth the sacrifice? That is not for me to judge. Just as it is not for you to judge how others feel and live thier lives.

I do not want to be harsh, it is difficult for me to be in the relationship that I am for so long and have to read that it is just the way it is. I have to accept or leave him. I came here to understand. Not to be convinced, but understand why you think it is normal and how you think it is not affecting you or others. Harsh is to say to you the very truth, that maybe some studies can corroborate ( I did not research this yet) , that someway somehow, your response to the word is radical, definitive, and final, and you are doing more harm than good to your body. Your mind is the key , of course, and everybody is diferent, but what you have in common is getting you apart from the world, your disease is bitter cold and I really feel for you. Without accepting this, I'm being abstinent for the past years, and confused, it is not enough to have a wonderful partner without kisses, hugs, romance, sex and the whole deal. This does not make me less or more than anybody, just human. Best of luck to us all. VLB

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

and I just got that by wikepedia...little research was done about it. Asexuality is a designation or self-designation for people who lack feelings of sexual attraction and/or sexual desire. There is debate as to whether this is a sexual dysfunction or an actual sexual orientation; furthermore, there is disagreement over the exact definition of the word. The term is also sometimes used as a gender identity by those who believe their lack of sexual attraction places them outside the standard definitions of gender. There has been little research done on asexuality, but those studies that have been conducted suggest that, if it is a sexual orientation, it is among the least common.

I do not want to insult, but we see things 360o ...

If I insult by saying what I think, it is for you to think why sounds an insult to you...

You said one thing that I realized already: fear.

Your "syndrome" has fear involved. Do you have many of them??

Why is important to you to avoid diseases, I mean, of course nobody wants that, but there are ways and ways to avoid it. What you personally are afraid of??

You started not to want to have sex because of fear of being sick, contracting AIDS or something?

Do you see that your mind is not separated from your body??

You are very young, not to want to express yourself sexually.

Why this is so damned wrong, ugly , bad, how come you get these feelings?

Love has no bounderies...Of course you get excited, and then, what you do?? Where goes your desires??

The relationship with my partner is a sick one, I told you already, I'm sick too. I can see that.

And you , can see that asexuality is just a word and in fact we are sexual beings??

VLB

I hope you are not intentionally insulting asexuals. How are we harming our bodies exactly? Surely it is the act of sex itself that causes more harm than good. Without engaging in that act the risk of contracting STDs is zero. The risk of 'tearing' down there is near zero. Our minds still get stimulated, but by things that are not sexual. Many of us (I include myself) are able to feel very deeply romanticly attracted to another. Simply...without there being any sex involved. So long as both involved understand the bounderies before the ralationship goes too far I see no harm being done.

Is the relationship you have with your partner not worth the sacrifice? That is not for me to judge. Just as it is not for you to judge how others feel and live thier lives.

I do not want to be harsh, it is difficult for me to be in the relationship that I am for so long and have to read that it is just the way it is. I have to accept or leave him. I came here to understand. Not to be convinced, but understand why you think it is normal and how you think it is not affecting you or others. Harsh is to say to you the very truth, that maybe some studies can corroborate ( I did not research this yet) , that someway somehow, your response to the word is radical, definitive, and final, and you are doing more harm than good to your body. Your mind is the key , of course, and everybody is diferent, but what you have in common is getting you apart from the world, your disease is bitter cold and I really feel for you. Without accepting this, I'm being abstinent for the past years, and confused, it is not enough to have a wonderful partner without kisses, hugs, romance, sex and the whole deal. This does not make me less or more than anybody, just human. Best of luck to us all. VLB

Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

I appreciate all the answers and the help of all of you guys, but I really don't know where the confusion came from about a partner or saying that asexuality was abnormal. I clearly didn't write that, even though I see that people misunderstood what I posted. However, I never said I had a partner or that asexual people were abnormal. If you read very careful I just introduced myself and said how I felt physically and emotionally. I don't understand why I keep receiving messages of partners and abnormality.

what are you doing here??? You have big problems can`t you see them?

Hi iillina:

First, I do not think that supressing a natural instinct is such a pleasure. Those ideas contradict themselves. We are animals, social animals but still , hormone oriented, not only to sex and procriate, but to all emotions and afections, denying that is denying life itself. Avoiding contact with another being is a response to the world of your conflicted mind. Your body is just the receptor of whatever is going on with your self, this is so not compatible with the lame theory that : "we are just diferent: . You are not diferent, you are the same, biological, social, fisiologically, the diference in you is this place that you found to hide your emotions, to say to the world, " I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, I'M JUST DIFERENT"

For me is "just nor enough" of a explanation. That you do not feel desires, romanticism, arousals, and are denying ultimely ORGASM, I know already, I live with one of you, but say that this is healthy, it is a completely diferent thing. and if it is not healthy it is sickness.

Even the way you mention sex (the stick in a whole) , a poor comparison, says to me that the way you see it, a mecanic act, and that is what I try to understand here, why you people hide your emotions, how you see the sexual act, I'm puzzled by this idea day by day...

I live with a wonderful guy that is sick, and I cannot just abandon him to some other partner, it is like if he had cancer or any other disease, he needs me now.

Really curios now about these two animals that you'd mention, how they get here through the evolutive chain??? By insemination? Which animals are that??

VLB

Verylost, there are a few things you need to realise. Asexuals are out there, simply because you're writing to quite a few of them right now, there are quite a few more at AVEN and whenever I publish my Israeli Asex forum anywhere, at least 1-2 new people join and say "hey, I'm not alone! I want to join your community!" and we're talking about Israeli people here, we have a small population.

Second, asexuality is not a disorder, because a disorder is a situation where a person suffers. If a person suffers then they might have something called HSDD or another disorder, and should see a doctor about that. But we don't.

It's not that we're missing something. Try to talk to a straight man about guys as lovers. He'll tell you one of the following: a. guys don't interest me sexually, I'm straight. b. sex with guys is repulsive for me, personally, because I'm straight. An asexual man would say similar things as the straight man, but he'd say the same things about girls as well. All this only refers to the sexual part - as you have already seen, asexuals do often seek romantic relationships.

Now: I think, like the others, that it's very sad when someone defines their relationship using the ritual of putting a stick in a hole. As joyful and passionate as that may be to you, it's a physical "game". You don't live with someone for their sexual organs, you live with them because they're wonderfun human beings and you want them to be happy. Well, your partner is happy that way and you should be happy for him! Bringing stress into his life by demanding something that he doesn't like or making him feel like he's sick just because he's content with his life defies the principle that you want him to be happy.

If you truly can't live with that, then the whole deal was never real and you should separate. If you trust each other VERY much, you can go and have sex with other people, with his agreement. Some couples do that, even sexual ones. There are also products that you can buy that will help you get satisfied by yourself. If he's willing to have sex with you rarely, that might be the best deal. Both of you give up a bit for the other. But be prepared to have very few of it, and that your partner won't enjoy it.

Good luck with your relationship.

p.s. you say that we were made to procreate by nature. Nature also made us hunters that don't have computers or tvs or showers or microwave ovens. We grew up since then, and now we can be what we want, not what nature supposedly wanted us to be a million years ago. By the way, research in some species of animals (at least 2) showed that there are asexual animals as well.

On 3/12/06, Verylost Baby < verylostbaby@...> wrote: I do love someone that is different than me, that is sick and does not know it.

This whole asexual thing is ok, can be, for you people who are happy being who you are, without having fluids exchanges of any sort with another human being, without making others suffers because of your choice and so on...

Live and let the others live...

I'm here not to make a point, I'm here because, this perverted idea is my reality, every day, I wait for a change in our relationship, and no way out... Everything else is fine, we manage our lives in such a way that I could not ask for anybody else but him, but why has to be without sex???

I do just think that many of you, a majority, is not asexual per se, there is no such a thing, we were genetically made to procriate and mate, if our psyches says NO, please does not blame nature, but society...

I do accept asexual people, I do not accept this concept that it is natural, nature way (of what????) some people are just diferent ....Many of you are not happy, many like the 23yrs old girl can be convinced that she was born like that (lol) when something could be wrong with her in another level...

Asexuality is not normal or natural. (PERIOD)

artcatuk <catoncanvas@... > wrote:

You are just afraid of anyone who is different to you. Many of us have had our hormones checked, and the results have come back 'normal'. Yet we still desire to NOT have sex. It is just the way we are. Try opening your mind to the possability that other people are DIFFERENT to you, and to eachother. I am perfectly happy being asexual. IF it is caused by some imbalance in MY hormone levels, I do not wish to have them 'corrected'. The thought of myself engaging in such an act sickens me. But I do not in any way look down on my sexual friends. They are all very prescious to me. They understand and accept me for who I am, and never try to change me.

Well...that's my 'two cents'. I hope you and your partner can come to some understanding.

*Edit - Had recent blood-test results back. All normal.*

--- In [email protected] , Verylost Baby

People sometimes cannot face their own demons...Also hormonal deficiencies can cause lost of libido, as well as hypertension, and many other ailments. All sickness.

Kate Haws said:

Asexuality is not sickness. I don`t like that idea. You should maybe change partner if the relationship is not enough for you. In fact I think myself that it is nature`s way to decrease human amount

Verylost Baby said:

Hi Anell:

I think we are in a reversal paralell, I have this assexual partner for 16 yrs , that seems to be happy being like that and making my life miserable for so many years... I'm brazilian and really confused about how to escape of this cage that I found myself in, since I do love him in so many ways... we do not have sex for the last 6 years, and I hate this assexual concept , just think that people who doesn't know themselves , escape to this "theory". We all have libido, if it does not manifest it is a disfunction of some kind... I was very sexual active before we met, now I think I'm also sick, not just him.

anell_olivia said:

Well, I am 23 yrs old, and I think that I am asexual. I feel no sexual desire toward no one. Neither do I feel attraction toward any sex (male/female). I have no desire of getting married in the future. I just dream of finding a guy best friend, who have my same condition and share as couples, but without sex, or those romanticism that could have....I am very confuse still, about this, but my desire doesn't have anything to do with sex, but to have a partner to share with...I am Spanish, Dominican, living in NJ haft of my life in this country actually, and I would accept any suggestion about asexuality because I am still about it...think u all...!

---

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

---

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Brings words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service .

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

You are right. You did not say those things. I got those messages too everybody got them because the messages are sent to everybody who is in that asexual page. That misunderstanding very lost baby sent them..

I appreciate all the answers and the help of all of you guys, but I really don't know where the confusion came from about a partner or saying that asexuality was abnormal. I clearly didn't write that, even though I see that people misunderstood what I posted. However, I never said I had a partner or that asexual people were abnormal. If you read very careful I just introduced myself and said how I felt physically and emotionally. I don't understand why I keep receiving messages of partners and abnormality.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

It is not fear that has lead me to realize what I am. I have always felt this way. As for young, I am flattered. Actually I turn 25 this year. Even if there were no risks involved in the act of sex, I would not wish to partake in it. I can not understand what is so hard about that concept to grasp. I understand the thrill some get from say.... skydiving. I might even wonder how it feels to free-fall like that with the reasuring knowledge that the parachoute will help me land safely. The adrenalyn rush must be unbelievable! But I would never wish to do it. I would be physicly capable of it, yes. But I never wish to try it.

I do not want to insult, but we see things 360o ...

If I insult by saying what I think, it is for you to think why sounds an insult to you...

You said one thing that I realized already: fear.

Your "syndrome" has fear involved. Do you have many of them??

Why is important to you to avoid diseases, I mean, of course nobody wants that, but there are ways and ways to avoid it. What you personally are afraid of??

You started not to want to have sex because of fear of being sick, contracting AIDS or something?

Do you see that your mind is not separated from your body??

You are very young, not to want to express yourself sexually.

Why this is so damned wrong, ugly , bad, how come you get these feelings?

Love has no bounderies...Of course you get excited, and then, what you do?? Where goes your desires??

The relationship with my partner is a sick one, I told you already, I'm sick too. I can see that.

And you , can see that asexuality is just a word and in fact we are sexual beings??

VLB

artcatuk said:

I hope you are not intentionally insulting asexuals. How are we harming our bodies exactly? Surely it is the act of sex itself that causes more harm than good. Without engaging in that act the risk of contracting STDs is zero. The risk of 'tearing' down there is near zero. Our minds still get stimulated, but by things that are not sexual. Many of us (I include myself) are able to feel very deeply romanticly attracted to another. Simply...without there being any sex involved. So long as both involved understand the bounderies before the ralationship goes too far I see no harm being done.

Is the relationship you have with your partner not worth the sacrifice? That is not for me to judge. Just as it is not for you to judge how others feel and live thier lives.

verylostbaby said:

I do not want to be harsh, it is difficult for me to be in the relationship that I am for so long and have to read that it is just the way it is. I have to accept or leave him. I came here to understand. Not to be convinced, but understand why you think it is normal and how you think it is not affecting you or others. Harsh is to say to you the very truth, that maybe some studies can corroborate ( I did not research this yet) , that someway somehow, your response to the word is radical, definitive, and final, and you are doing more harm than good to your body. Your mind is the key , of course, and everybody is diferent, but what you have in common is getting you apart from the world, your disease is bitter cold and I really feel for you. Without accepting this, I'm being abstinent for the past years, and confused, it is not enough to have a wonderful partner without kisses, hugs, romance, sex and the whole deal. This does not make me less or more than anybody, just human. Best of luck to us all. VLB

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

Here here. I could not agree more. :) I have had the emence pleasure of sharing a bed with three men in my life. They just held me. Caressed me. Kissed me. Comforted me. Kept me warm. It's an experience that can not be matched; to feel another's heart beating against your own. To feel the movements of thier chest and stomach against your own. It's almost like... melting into eachother, in a metaphorical sence. One of the three is asexual, so we both knew there was no alterier motive, nore sexual desire attached to it in any way. The embraces I have shared with him have been the most blissfull I have ever experienced. ..... Pitty he's spoken for. *sigh*

VeryLostBaby, I have been quietly sitting on the sidelines watching your rants. Now I feel compelled to speak up. You are in a relationship with a man that you love. I would assume that he loves you as well. But love alone is not a reason to stay in a relationship. There also needs to be compatibility. If you are a sexual person and he isn't, you can't change that! And the more you try to change who he is, the more he will resist your efforts. Maybe it's time to let go. You can't "fix" someone who isn't broken to begin with. Since he'd obviously rather have his mind stimulated than his loins, you should consider tossing him over to one of us asexual ladies.

As for you implying that asexual people are abnormal, you are quite mistaken. Just because we are not as common as sexual people, does not mean that we are not normal. I will put it in simpler terms. People with blue eyes are not as common as people with brown eyes, but that does not make blue eyed people abnormal. I could say the same thing about homosexuality. It's not as common as heterosexuality, but not abnormal. However, I probably shouldn't be getting into that right now. I really don't want to deal with the religious tirades that may follow.

It's really not nice to join a group and then proceed to judge and belittle it's members. If you want to know more about asexuality, then ask questions. Make an effort to understand. Be objective. But don't get on your high horse and condemn us for being "abnormal". It's not your place to do so.

I am asexual, but that does NOT mean I don't like romance or closeness. On the contrary, I love kisses and hugs and sleeping next to a warm, strong body at night. It's just that the act of sex does not appeal to me. I don't enjoy it. Why am I going to subject myself to an activity that I don't like? I am VERY attracted to men. I appreciate the beauty of the masculine body. I just don't want a certain part of his body finding it's way into a certain part of my body.

Maybe I have a hormone deficiency that is causing my lack of libido. Maybe certain events in my life shaped my distaste for sex. But the point is, I don't MIND being asexual. I'm not hurting anyone by being this way. I'm content to be sexless. I'm not at risk for unwanted pregnancy or STDs. So, why would I want fix what I don't consider to be broken in the first place? I have come to terms with my asexuality. And I really don't need to be put down for it (even if it's done indirectly) by narrow minded people that insist that THEIR way is the only NORMAL way. If I had a hankering for underage children or marine mammals, then you could chastise me. But since that's not the case, please keep your judgments to yourself.

Of course I'm in the wrong place, but you cannot say that I do not have a right to be here, remember , I do not have sex for the last 06 years, and for the 10 years left, very little. I'm maybe in the other side of your safe world, I represent the ones you damage, you hurt on the way, (I do not mean you "you", but you asexual said people).

So now , if I cannot understand your ways, you are saying that you are ok., the problem should be me , the whole asexual world, including this nwgrp is well and truly centered (God help us now) I'm the one is not allright...that is what you are saying??? That is my problem now: Some others like me are maybe here watching and wondering how they got to love a low drive, asexual, dysfunction person and how they can help. It is also my problem when I see escapism, instead of straight answer to questions posted.

I still want to know which two animals are those, the asexual ones...

what are you doing here??? You have big problems can`t you see them?

Hi iillina:

First, I do not think that supressing a natural instinct is such a pleasure. Those ideas contradict themselves. We are animals, social animals but still , hormone oriented, not only to sex and procriate, but to all emotions and afections, denying that is denying life itself. Avoiding contact with another being is a response to the world of your conflicted mind. Your body is just the receptor of whatever is going on with your self, this is so not compatible with the lame theory that : "we are just diferent: . You are not diferent, you are the same, biological, social, fisiologically, the diference in you is this place that you found to hide your emotions, to say to the world, " I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, I'M JUST DIFERENT"

For me is "just nor enough" of a explanation. That you do not feel desires, romanticism, arousals, and are denying ultimely ORGASM, I know already, I live with one of you, but say that this is healthy, it is a completely diferent thing. and if it is not healthy it is sickness.

Even the way you mention sex (the stick in a whole) , a poor comparison, says to me that the way you see it, a mecanic act, and that is what I try to understand here, why you people hide your emotions, how you see the sexual act, I'm puzzled by this idea day by day...

I live with a wonderful guy that is sick, and I cannot just abandon him to some other partner, it is like if he had cancer or any other disease, he needs me now.

Really curios now about these two animals that you'd mention, how they get here through the evolutive chain??? By insemination? Which animals are that??

VLB

Verylost, there are a few things you need to realise. Asexuals are out there, simply because you're writing to quite a few of them right now, there are quite a few more at AVEN and whenever I publish my Israeli Asex forum anywhere, at least 1-2 new people join and say "hey, I'm not alone! I want to join your community!" and we're talking about Israeli people here, we have a small population.

Second, asexuality is not a disorder, because a disorder is a situation where a person suffers. If a person suffers then they might have something called HSDD or another disorder, and should see a doctor about that. But we don't.

It's not that we're missing something. Try to talk to a straight man about guys as lovers. He'll tell you one of the following: a. guys don't interest me sexually, I'm straight. b. sex with guys is repulsive for me, personally, because I'm straight. An asexual man would say similar things as the straight man, but he'd say the same things about girls as well. All this only refers to the sexual part - as you have already seen, asexuals do often seek romantic relationships.

Now: I think, like the others, that it's very sad when someone defines their relationship using the ritual of putting a stick in a hole. As joyful and passionate as that may be to you, it's a physical "game". You don't live with someone for their sexual organs, you live with them because they're wonderfun human beings and you want them to be happy. Well, your partner is happy that way and you should be happy for him! Bringing stress into his life by demanding something that he doesn't like or making him feel like he's sick just because he's content with his life defies the principle that you want him to be happy.

If you truly can't live with that, then the whole deal was never real and you should separate. If you trust each other VERY much, you can go and have sex with other people, with his agreement. Some couples do that, even sexual ones. There are also products that you can buy that will help you get satisfied by yourself. If he's willing to have sex with you rarely, that might be the best deal. Both of you give up a bit for the other. But be prepared to have very few of it, and that your partner won't enjoy it.

Good luck with your relationship.

p.s. you say that we were made to procreate by nature. Nature also made us hunters that don't have computers or tvs or showers or microwave ovens. We grew up since then, and now we can be what we want, not what nature supposedly wanted us to be a million years ago. By the way, research in some species of animals (at least 2) showed that there are asexual animals as well.

On 3/12/06, Verylost Baby < verylostbaby@...> wrote: I do love someone that is different than me, that is sick and does not know it.

This whole asexual thing is ok, can be, for you people who are happy being who you are, without having fluids exchanges of any sort with another human being, without making others suffers because of your choice and so on...

Live and let the others live...

I'm here not to make a point, I'm here because, this perverted idea is my reality, every day, I wait for a change in our relationship, and no way out... Everything else is fine, we manage our lives in such a way that I could not ask for anybody else but him, but why has to be without sex???

I do just think that many of you, a majority, is not asexual per se, there is no such a thing, we were genetically made to procriate and mate, if our psyches says NO, please does not blame nature, but society...

I do accept asexual people, I do not accept this concept that it is natural, nature way (of what????) some people are just diferent ....Many of you are not happy, many like the 23yrs old girl can be convinced that she was born like that (lol) when something could be wrong with her in another level...

Asexuality is not normal or natural. (PERIOD)

artcatuk <catoncanvas@... > wrote:

You are just afraid of anyone who is different to you. Many of us have had our hormones checked, and the results have come back 'normal'. Yet we still desire to NOT have sex. It is just the way we are. Try opening your mind to the possability that other people are DIFFERENT to you, and to eachother. I am perfectly happy being asexual. IF it is caused by some imbalance in MY hormone levels, I do not wish to have them 'corrected'. The thought of myself engaging in such an act sickens me. But I do not in any way look down on my sexual friends. They are all very prescious to me. They understand and accept me for who I am, and never try to change me.

Well...that's my 'two cents'. I hope you and your partner can come to some understanding.

*Edit - Had recent blood-test results back. All normal.*

--- In [email protected] , Verylost Baby

People sometimes cannot face their own demons...Also hormonal deficiencies can cause lost of libido, as well as hypertension, and many other ailments. All sickness.

Kate Haws said:

Asexuality is not sickness. I don`t like that idea. You should maybe change partner if the relationship is not enough for you. In fact I think myself that it is nature`s way to decrease human amount

Verylost Baby said:

Hi Anell:

I think we are in a reversal paralell, I have this assexual partner for 16 yrs , that seems to be happy being like that and making my life miserable for so many years... I'm brazilian and really confused about how to escape of this cage that I found myself in, since I do love him in so many ways... we do not have sex for the last 6 years, and I hate this assexual concept , just think that people who doesn't know themselves , escape to this "theory". We all have libido, if it does not manifest it is a disfunction of some kind... I was very sexual active before we met, now I think I'm also sick, not just him.

anell_olivia said:

Well, I am 23 yrs old, and I think that I am asexual. I feel no sexual desire toward no one. Neither do I feel attraction toward any sex (male/female). I have no desire of getting married in the future. I just dream of finding a guy best friend, who have my same condition and share as couples, but without sex, or those romanticism that could have....I am very confuse still, about this, but my desire doesn't have anything to do with sex, but to have a partner to share with...I am Spanish, Dominican, living in NJ haft of my life in this country actually, and I would accept any suggestion about asexuality because I am still about it...think u all...!

---

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

---

Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Brings words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service .

Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

Yahoo! Travel Find great deals to the top 10 hottest destinations!

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

She is so young and idealistic. Give her a few years of life under her belt and she may relate. At the very least, she'll hopefully gain empathy for alternate lifestyles, whatever they may be! Happy shovelling from the land in the North......Carol

Still Art, if you asking me to not be closed to this concept, try not to be also about what is heppenning to you.

Sexuality is a big part of our emotional life. If you are comfortable with that fine, but do not let fear of exploring interfere with your grow. Nobody is asexual per se. We are all sexual beings.

I like the metaphors. Mine is that: There is a goose with the neck stuck in the ground. He cannot look around and the only thing that he can sees is the darkness so he thinks that is all that there is to be seen.

It is not fear that has lead me to realize what I am. I have always felt this way. As for young, I am flattered. Actually I turn 25 this year. Even if there were no risks involved in the act of sex, I would not wish to partake in it. I can not understand what is so hard about that concept to grasp. I understand the thrill some get from say.... skydiving. I might even wonder how it feels to free-fall like that with the reasuring knowledge that the parachoute will help me land safely. The adrenalyn rush must be unbelievable! But I would never wish to do it. I would be physicly capable of it, yes. But I never wish to try it.

I do not want to insult, but we see things 360o ...

If I insult by saying what I think, it is for you to think why sounds an insult to you...

You said one thing that I realized already: fear.

Your "syndrome" has fear involved. Do you have many of them??

Why is important to you to avoid diseases, I mean, of course nobody wants that, but there are ways and ways to avoid it. What you personally are afraid of??

You started not to want to have sex because of fear of being sick, contracting AIDS or something?

Do you see that your mind is not separated from your body??

You are very young, not to want to express yourself sexually.

Why this is so damned wrong, ugly , bad, how come you get these feelings?

Love has no bounderies...Of course you get excited, and then, what you do?? Where goes your desires??

The relationship with my partner is a sick one, I told you already, I'm sick too. I can see that.

And you , can see that asexuality is just a word and in fact we are sexual beings??

VLB

artcatuk said:

I hope you are not intentionally insulting asexuals. How are we harming our bodies exactly? Surely it is the act of sex itself that causes more harm than good. Without engaging in that act the risk of contracting STDs is zero. The risk of 'tearing' down there is near zero. Our minds still get stimulated, but by things that are not sexual. Many of us (I include myself) are able to feel very deeply romanticly attracted to another. Simply...without there being any sex involved. So long as both involved understand the bounderies before the ralationship goes too far I see no harm being done.

Is the relationship you have with your partner not worth the sacrifice? That is not for me to judge. Just as it is not for you to judge how others feel and live thier lives.

verylostbaby said:

I do not want to be harsh, it is difficult for me to be in the relationship that I am for so long and have to read that it is just the way it is. I have to accept or leave him. I came here to understand. Not to be convinced, but understand why you think it is normal and how you think it is not affecting you or others. Harsh is to say to you the very truth, that maybe some studies can corroborate ( I did not research this yet) , that someway somehow, your response to the word is radical, definitive, and final, and you are doing more harm than good to your body. Your mind is the key , of course, and everybody is diferent, but what you have in common is getting you apart from the world, your disease is bitter cold and I really feel for you. Without accepting this, I'm being abstinent for the past years, and confused, it is not enough to have a wonderful partner without kisses, hugs, romance, sex and the whole deal. This does not make me less or more than anybody, just human. Best of luck to us all. VLB

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

VLB, have patience

6 years of abstinence are nothing. I have been chaste all my life and I will be for ever to come. Not because of my choice, that's another story

be strong

Yahoo!; (spam); Yahoo! Mail

http://login.yahoo.com/config/mail?.intl=gr

--- In [email protected], Verylost Baby <verylostbaby@...> wrote:>

I still want to know which two animals are those, the asexual ones...

For me is "just nor enough" of a explanation. That you do not feel desires, romanticism, arousals, and are denying ultimely ORGASM, I know already.

Even the way you mention sex (the stick in a whole) , a poor comparison, says to me that the way you see it, a mecanic act, and that is what I try to understand here, why you people hide your emotions, how you see the sexual act, I'm puzzled by this idea day by day...>

On 3/12/06, Verylost Baby < verylostbaby@...> wrote: I do love someone that is different than me, that is sick and does not know it.

This whole asexual thing is ok, can be, for you people who are happy being who you are, without having fluids exchanges of any sort with another human being, without making others suffers because of your choice and so on...

I'm here not to make a point, I'm here because, this perverted idea is my reality, every day, I wait for a change in our relationship, and no way out... Everything else is fine, we manage our lives in such a way that I could not ask for anybody else but him, but why has to be without sex???

I do just think that many of you, a majority, is not asexual per se, there is no such a thing, we were genetically made to procriate and mate, if our psyches says NO, please does not blame nature, but society...

I do accept asexual people, I do not accept this concept that it is natural, nature way (of what????) some people are just diferent ....Many of you are not happy, many like the 23yrs old girl can be convinced that she was born like that (lol) when something could be wrong with her in another level...

Asexuality is not normal or natural. (PERIOD)

--- In [email protected] , Verylost Baby

verylostbaby@ said:

People sometimes cannot face their own demons...Also hormonal deficiencies can cause lost of libido, as well as hypertension, and many other ailments. All sickness. sick, not just him.

As a biologist, I can tell you that asexuality is as natural as homosexuality. make of that what you will. The animals we speak of are not asexual as a species, but like humans, have asexual members. Male sheep and rats who show no interest in mounting either females or other males are called 'duds' by breeders and researchers. That asexuality manifests in other animals shows that asexuality is not caused by society. All animals are built to reproduce, as that is how they got there in the first place, but would you require men to develop their breasts and produce milk because that is what the breasts are for? Nearly all asexuals have the equipment, it works, many even have children. The lack of sexual attraction doesn't stop anyone who has the desire for children.

I don't know where you get the idea that a lack of sexual attraction automatically comes with a lack of romance, arousal, or actual sex. Many asexuals have and continue to have sex, and even enjoy it. Sex is different from sexual attraction. For me, sex is PAIN. Stop telling me that I need to subject myself to pain to fit your definition of healthy. I never lost my libido to drugs, as I never developed one. Other asexuals do, it's just not connected to any other person and they can't imagine another person helping them with it. Asexuality also has absolutely nothing to do with emotions, asexuals feel just as sexuals do--just not about sex. Please stop thinking of asexuals as being some kind of sexless, emotionless robots, because we're not. Asexuals have sex too, the act is a choice. Sex is not an emotion.

Your relationship with your husband is more important than coming here, stop talking to us and start talking to him. Waiting will solve nothing. He should have told you about his feelings before you married, though he might not have fully known about them himself. Many asexuals thought they'd just suddenly start feeling something after they were married, like the ceremony was some magic connection that included sex. As it stands now, the two of you are in this together, and you must work this out together. It's not fair that only one of you can be happy, and the other miserable. For your future happiness, please sit him down comfortably and tell him what you feel, ask what he feels, and work something out. Your relationship should not make you miserable.

Thank you for your support.

VLB, have patience

6 years of abstinence are nothing. I have been chaste all my life and I will be for ever to come. Not because of my choice, that's another story

be strong

Yahoo!; (spam); Yahoo! Mail

http://login.yahoo.com/config/mail?.intl=gr

Yahoo! Groups Links

You say you do not want to insult. Yet there you go again. I was very much inlove with my last two 'partners'. But in the end we came to the same conclusion; we were not sexally compatable. This was all before I knew asexuality existed as an orientation. Now that I know I am not alone in how I feel a new sence of belonging. A new contemtmemt. A new happiness. My last boyfriend and I are still very close. He is the one who introduced me to the fact that there were many many others out there like myself. My head in the ground? Are you assuming I have never been given the chance to experence this...coupling of bodies? Believe me, I have. But I did not -want- to do 'it'. It does not feel right to me. Such as sex with the same gender does not feel right to a hetrosexual. Or vise-versa. I have engaged in, and enjoyed, what you would call forplay. But it did not go beyond that. I do not wish to go into any further detail on the subject. I hope there is no 'bad blood' between us. I do not enjoy arguing, or belittling. I have said my piece. I hope I have gotten my side accross.

Communication. Calm comunication, is the key. That and trusting the one you love. Speak to him again about this, but reasure him about how you feel about him. I wish you both well.

Still Art, if you asking me to not be closed to this concept, try not to be also about what is heppenning to you.

Sexuality is a big part of our emotional life. If you are comfortable with that fine, but do not let fear of exploring interfere with your grow. Nobody is asexual per se. We are all sexual beings.

I like the metaphors. Mine is that: There is a goose with the neck stuck in the ground. He cannot look around and the only thing that he can sees is the darkness so he thinks that is all that there is to be seen.

artcatuk said:

It is not fear that has lead me to realize what I am. I have always felt this way. As for young, I am flattered. Actually I turn 25 this year. Even if there were no risks involved in the act of sex, I would not wish to partake in it. I can not understand what is so hard about that concept to grasp. I understand the thrill some get from say.... skydiving. I might even wonder how it feels to free-fall like that with the reasuring knowledge that the parachoute will help me land safely. The adrenalyn rush must be unbelievable! But I would never wish to do it. I would be physicly capable of it, yes. But I never wish to try it.

Verylost Baby said:

I do not want to insult, but we see things 360o ...

If I insult by saying what I think, it is for you to think why sounds an insult to you...

You said one thing that I realized already: fear.

Your "syndrome" has fear involved. Do you have many of them??

Why is important to you to avoid diseases, I mean, of course nobody wants that, but there are ways and ways to avoid it. What you personally are afraid of??

You started not to want to have sex because of fear of being sick, contracting AIDS or something?

Do you see that your mind is not separated from your body??

You are very young, not to want to express yourself sexually.

Why this is so damned wrong, ugly , bad, how come you get these feelings?

Love has no bounderies...Of course you get excited, and then, what you do?? Where goes your desires??

The relationship with my partner is a sick one, I told you already, I'm sick too. I can see that.

And you , can see that asexuality is just a word and in fact we are sexual beings??

VLB

artcatuk said:

I hope you are not intentionally insulting asexuals. How are we harming our bodies exactly? Surely it is the act of sex itself that causes more harm than good. Without engaging in that act the risk of contracting STDs is zero. The risk of 'tearing' down there is near zero. Our minds still get stimulated, but by things that are not sexual. Many of us (I include myself) are able to feel very deeply romanticly attracted to another. Simply...without there being any sex involved. So long as both involved understand the bounderies before the ralationship goes too far I see no harm being done.

Is the relationship you have with your partner not worth the sacrifice? That is not for me to judge. Just as it is not for you to judge how others feel and live thier lives.

verylostbaby said:

I do not want to be harsh, it is difficult for me to be in the relationship that I am for so long and have to read that it is just the way it is. I have to accept or leave him. I came here to understand. Not to be convinced, but understand why you think it is normal and how you think it is not affecting you or others. Harsh is to say to you the very truth, that maybe some studies can corroborate ( I did not research this yet) , that someway somehow, your response to the word is radical, definitive, and final, and you are doing more harm than good to your body. Your mind is the key , of course, and everybody is diferent, but what you have in common is getting you apart from the world, your disease is bitter cold and I really feel for you. Without accepting this, I'm being abstinent for the past years, and confused, it is not enough to have a wonderful partner without kisses, hugs, romance, sex and the whole deal. This does not make me less or more than anybody, just human. Best of luck to us all. VLB

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

---

YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS

Visit your group "havenforthehumanamoeba" on the web.

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

---

---

Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.