Haven for the Human Amoeba

This is the third time in a week he's made this statement. I'm fairly certain he's one of two things: 1) Intentionally attempting to cause an argument or 2) Too narrow minded to see past his own viewpoint.

Maybe both. I'm not answering him again.

Layna

are you one of the "official nonlibidoism society" people? there's a major difference between these people's definition and the common/aven definition, as i understand theirs is more harsh and is similar to yours.

yet, if a gay person is curious and has straight sex once just to see what it is, the person's still gay. if an asexual is curious, s/he's still asexual. that curiosity comes from other "parts" of the brain imho, the exploration parts rather than the satisfaction parts.

i think that asexuals shouldn't deny themselves of curiousity, that'll make us celibates, not asexuals. if someone defines themselves as asexual and is not, finding that out would be for their own good. if someone doubts their asexuality, they'd be better off knowing it for sure than living in doubt for good or being left out of the asexual community despite not being attracted sexually to anyone.

it's not a religion, it's an orientation.

On 5/8/06, Edwin Morales <spiritualism7@... > wrote:

Technically, if you do it, you are no longer considered asexual. Now, if it's a rape thing, then that's totally different. But doing it without wanting it? Lame excuse.

Asexuals do not *want* to have sex. There is a difference. As several other people have pointed out, you can do it without *wanting* to do it.

Edwin Morales < [email protected] <mailto:spiritualism7@...> > wrote:

Um...asexuals do not have sex. If someone has sex, they cannot be asexual. That is only one requirement to being asexual, also known as nonlibidoist.

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In a message dated 5/8/2006 8:55:11 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, lisentia@... writes:

This is the third time in a week he’s made this statement. I’m fairly certain he’s one of two things: 1) Intentionally attempting to cause an argument or 2) Too narrow minded to see past his own viewpoint. Maybe both. I’m not answering him again. Layna

Actually, when I had more of a libido I was lesbian. I would like to meet another asexual like myself. So I guess I'm a homosexual asexual. No matter how my libido is, I still prefer the company of another womon. It seems that I'm meeting more middle-aged womyn like myself who feel that their libidos have decreased from being perimenopausal. I am into being psychological eroticism. I have found that I can easily be turned on by reading or viewing or hearing erotica. I don't actually have to be physically present to enjoy romantic/sensual moments. For example, I could easily endure an online relationship. I've been meeting more and more womyn like myself in chatrooms. Perhaps there are other milieus to meet womyn who are into psychological stimulation rather than physical stimulation.

Liz

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Well, we do... *cough* Anyway... I may or may not be done with sex. I've had it, gone through the motions, blah blah blah but to me its not a matter of "have to" or not. I'd much rather enjoy sensual touch rather than sexual, or I guess a better way of saying that is human touch... *shrugs* heck if I know, just don't force me to do the nasty =P

Layna

I hear you Layna. He is beginning to get on my nerves. I wonder where he comes up with such conclusions. I hate people that think they are experts about every subject. So, I haven't had sex in about a year and a half. I masturbated twice since my last encounter. The last time I actually did have sex, I did it because I was in a relationship where it was expected of me. I didn't like it or want it but I did it to shut his whiney ass up. I consider myself asexual because I have no desire to copulate with another human being. If this asswipe wants to argue with me about how I view my sexuality or what label I choose to give myself, then he can suck my ... um, well nevermind. Asexuals don't willingly suck those kinds of things.

Again, you can only be 1. Either straight, bisexual, homosexual, or asexual. You cant combine them because it will contradict each other.

Actually, when I had more of a libido I was lesbian. I would like to meet another asexual like myself. So I guess I'm a homosexual asexual. No matter how my libido is, I still prefer the company of another womon. It seems that I'm meeting more middle-aged womyn like myself who feel that their libidos have decreased from being perimenopausal. I am into being psychological eroticism. I have found that I can easily be turned on by reading or viewing or hearing erotica. I don't actually have to be physically present to enjoy romantic/sensual moments. For example, I could easily endure an online relationship. I've been meeting more and more womyn like myself in chatrooms. Perhaps there are other milieus to meet womyn who are into psychological stimulation rather than physical stimulation.

Liz

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I'm with Layla; I'm officially ignoring you. Everything that comes off your keyboard is either ignorant, offensive, or both.

Again, you can only be 1. Either straight, bisexual, homosexual, or asexual. You cant combine them because it will contradict each other.

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From what I understand there is an on-going debate. There are those who believe that asexuality is an actual sexual orientation, and there are those who believe it's not a sexual orientation. To date, there's not enough documented research that supports either of the beliefs.

So right now there's room for free-thinking on it. My belief is that I do not want to have sex with anyone. However, I would like to be romantic, affectionate and in love with a womon. Mmmmmmmm.

Liz

Again, you can only be 1. Either straight, bisexual, homosexual, or asexual. You cant combine them because it will contradict each other.

Elizabeth Sweet said:

Actually, when I had more of a libido I was lesbian. I would like to meet another asexual like myself. So I guess I'm a homosexual asexual. No matter how my libido is, I still prefer the company of another womon. It seems that I'm meeting more middle-aged womyn like myself who feel that their libidos have decreased from being perimenopausal. I am into being psychological eroticism. I have found that I can easily be turned on by reading or viewing or hearing erotica. I don't actually have to be physically present to enjoy romantic/sensual moments. For example, I could easily endure an online relationship. I've been meeting more and more womyn like myself in chatrooms. Perhaps there are other milieus to meet womyn who are into psychological stimulation rather than physical stimulation.

Liz

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I agree with you totally Liz. Except I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and would love to be romantic, affectionate and in love with a man. I really would like to see some research done to know more about asexuality. The not wanting sex vs. sexual attraction would be an interesting piece of research. Maybe we could do a poll in this group as to which of us is attracted to same sex, opposite sex, both sexes. I think it is a basic human need to want to be loved by someone. I can't imagine anyone who is attracted to no one. Mary

From what I understand there is an on-going debate. There are those who believe that asexuality is an actual sexual orientation, and there are those who believe it's not a sexual orientation. To date, there's not enough documented research that supports either of the beliefs.

So right now there's room for free-thinking on it. My belief is that I do not want to have sex with anyone. However, I would like to be romantic, affectionate and in love with a womon. Mmmmmmmm.

I've been watching this thread since it began and I'd like to add my two cents for what it's worth. For me, asexual love is the purest love possible because it is free from the shackles of the physical. It is a sharing of intellect, emotion and for some, affectionate without the labels that the physical hangs on a person. The whole idea of trying to label someone straight, bi or gay really doesn't apply to the asexual. The asexual just is.

I agree with you totally Liz. Except I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and would love to be romantic, affectionate and in love with a man. I really would like to see some research done to know more about asexuality. The not wanting sex vs. sexual attraction would be an interesting piece of research. Maybe we could do a poll in this group as to which of us is attracted to same sex, opposite sex, both sexes. I think it is a basic human need to want to be loved by someone. I can't imagine anyone who is attracted to no one. Mary

From what I understand there is an on-going debate. There are those who believe that asexuality is an actual sexual orientation, and there are those who believe it's not a sexual orientation. To date, there's not enough documented research that supports either of the beliefs.

So right now there's room for free-thinking on it. My belief is that I do not want to have sex with anyone. However, I would like to be romantic, affectionate and in love with a womon. Mmmmmmmm.

Liz

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Here here!

Layna

I've been watching this thread since it began and I'd like to add my two cents for what it's worth. For me, asexual love is the purest love possible because it is free from the shackles of the physical. It is a sharing of intellect, emotion and for some, affectionate without the labels that the physical hangs on a person. The whole idea of trying to label someone straight, bi or gay really doesn't apply to the asexual. The asexual just is.

----- Original Message -----

I agree with you totally Liz. Except I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and would love to be romantic, affectionate and in love with a man. I really would like to see some research done to know more about asexuality. The not wanting sex vs. sexual attraction would be an interesting piece of research. Maybe we could do a poll in this group as to which of us is attracted to same sex, opposite sex, both sexes. I think it is a basic human need to want to be loved by someone. I can't imagine anyone who is attracted to no one.

Mary

----- Original Message -----

From what I understand there is an on-going debate. There are those who believe that asexuality is an actual sexual orientation, and there are those who believe it's not a sexual orientation. To date, there's not enough documented research that supports either of the beliefs.

So right now there's room for free-thinking on it. My belief is that I do not want to have sex with anyone. However, I would like to be romantic, affectionate and in love with a womon. Mmmmmmmm.

Liz

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It is comforting to know there are more asexual people out there. I used to be very sexual but my drive has declined over the past few years. I still find women attractive but with no sexual desire. I actually find a new found freedom in all of this. The hard part the desire for companionship. Are there any asexual dating sites that anyone knows of?

I just wanted to let everyone know that I enjoy the fact that there are so many nice people who share similar goals as to romance/physical interaction with others. I have been on this board for a long time. There are always a few who insist that asexuality has a precise, rigid definition without which a person does not qualify. Oftentimes, such people combine their sexual philosophy (which is what I call it) with their theological bent. These people who tend to be dogmatic are suffering from something in the nature of an obsessive-compulsive disorder IMHO. The point is that we should not let those with anal personalities to upset us, especially we should not let those stop us from having fun posting on this board. Hope all is having a good weekend.

Many asexual people desire loving caring relationships. In a world where sexual intimacy is promoted as the norm, and sex is assumed to be an extremely important thing and an 'expected' part of having a relationship, asexual people seeking relationships usually find themselves in situations where they are expected to be sexual.

Many asexual people often feel pressured to fake sexual attraction or interest in order to fit in or they fade into the background when sex comes into the conversation. If an asexual person doesn't play along and pretend they have sexual thoughts and feelings, it is usually difficult for them to find satisfying close meaningful relationships with others.

Finding friends where you are accepted as an asexual person is still relatively rare - and it is especially difficult for asexual people when seeking out a relationship. These personals hope to make this task a little easier for asexual people.

http://www.asexualove.net/faqs.html

Sorry I took ages...I just joined this weekend. Someone sent me something about <asexuallove.net> or something along those lines, if you haven't already gotten an answer elsewhere. If you're looking for other asexual areas to check out, go to AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network), at <asexulity.org>. If been an AVEN member for a while- it's incredible and you'll love it if you're not already a part of it.

It is comforting to know there are more asexual people out there. I used to be very sexual but my drive has declined over the past few years. I still find women attractive but with no sexual desire. I actually find a new found freedom in all of this. The hard part the desire for companionship. Are there any asexual dating sites that anyone knows of?

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- Spock out.

Hi all, I'm relatively new here…so I'm not sure how all this works. To introduce myself- I'm a teenage individual who (though you may disregard this because of my age) is asexual, a-romantic, and a- gendered. Geez, what a mouthful, right? Despite this, I'm not for labels- and I'm just glad that there are places that I and so many others can communicate with people who are not interested in sex, despite individual variations amongst members of the broadly defined "asexual spectrum". It's not a sexual orientation, it is the lack thereof, and this is a beautiful haven for those who've been wandering alone and confused. I wonder how many here are also part of AVEN? I found AVEN a while back and cherish it. Again, I'm not sure how the whole Yahoo-groups thing works, so I apologize if I sound naïve

ROFL Jim, You crack me up. More stubborn, LOL.

Jen Message ----- From: "Jim Sinclair" <jisincla@...> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Monday, May 08, 2006 1:00 PM Subject: Re: RE : [Haven for the Human Amoeba] New here. Married

On 8 May 2006, Edwin Morales said:

Technically, if you do it, you are no longer considered asexual. Now, if it's a rape thing, then that's totally different. But doing it without wanting it? Lame excuse.

Does this mean also that a gay person who's had sex with someone of the opposite sex, for reasons of curiosity or bowing to social pressure or being in denial about being gay, but who's never actually felt sexual attraction or arousal toward people of the opposite sex, and has felt sexual attraction and arousal only toward people of the same sex, is not really gay?

I've never felt sexual arousal or attraction toward anyone of any sex. And I've never had sex. I don't think that's because I'm "more asexual" than some of the people who have posted here about having sex. I think it's probably because I'm less influenced by social pressure to conform. I'm just more stubborn. :-)

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

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I prefer psychological, mental, emotional and some physical stimulation, yet do not want any form of sexual contact.

Jen

Actually, when I had more of a libido I was lesbian. I would like to meet another asexual like myself. So I guess I'm a homosexual asexual. No matter how my libido is, I still prefer the company of another womon. It seems that I'm meeting more middle-aged womyn like myself who feel that their libidos have decreased from being perimenopausal. I am into being psychological eroticism. I have found that I can easily be turned on by reading or viewing or hearing erotica. I don't actually have to be physically present to enjoy romantic/sensual moments. For example, I could easily endure an online relationship. I've been meeting more and more womyn like myself in chatrooms. Perhaps there are other milieus to meet womyn who are into psychological stimulation rather than physical stimulation.

Liz

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Please stop responding to the buttholes who get their stumilation through internet arguments and emotional upsets. It's not difficult to ignore and not read the cacca.

Jen

In a message dated 5/8/2006 8:55:11 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, lisentia@... writes: This is the third time in a week he’s made this statement. I’m fairly certain he’s one of two things: 1) Intentionally attempting to cause an argument or 2) Too narrow minded to see past his own viewpoint.

Maybe both. I’m not answering him again.

Layna

I hear you Layna. He is beginning to get on my nerves. I wonder where he comes up with such conclusions. I hate people that think they are experts about every subject. So, I haven't had sex in about a year and a half. I masturbated twice since my last encounter. The last time I actually did have sex, I did it because I was in a relationship where it was expected of me. I didn't like it or want it but I did it to shut his whiney ass up. I consider myself asexual because I have no desire to copulate with another human being. If this asswipe wants to argue with me about how I view my sexuality or what label I choose to give myself, then he can suck my ... um, well nevermind. Asexuals don't willingly suck those kinds of things.

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Layna, I call it bumping uglies. ROFL

Jen

Well, we do. *cough* Anyway. I may or may not be done with sex. I've had it, gone through the motions, blah blah blah but to me its not a matter of "have to" or not. I'd much rather enjoy sensual touch rather than sexual, or I guess a better way of saying that is human touch. *shrugs* heck if I know, just don't force me to do the nasty =P

Layna

I hear you Layna. He is beginning to get on my nerves. I wonder where he comes up with such conclusions. I hate people that think they are experts about every subject. So, I haven't had sex in about a year and a half. I masturbated twice since my last encounter. The last time I actually did have sex, I did it because I was in a relationship where it was expected of me. I didn't like it or want it but I did it to shut his whiney ass up. I consider myself asexual because I have no desire to copulate with another human being. If this asswipe wants to argue with me about how I view my sexuality or what label I choose to give myself, then he can suck my ... um, well nevermind. Asexuals don't willingly suck those kinds of things.

SPONSORED LINKS Abstinence Romance relationship

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Part of the canada.com Network Study to focus on the one phenomenon nobody saw coming Misty Harris, CanWest News ServicePublished: Thursday, May 18, 2006

In the age of Viagra and celebrity sex tapes, the one phenomenon nobody saw coming is asexuality -- the permanent absence of lust or libido.

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) has nearly doubled in size in the last year to include 7,500 men and women worldwide -- about 150 times its membership in 2001. By one measure, the total number of asexuals in North America alone could be in the millions.

And now the Canadian psychologist who pioneered research into asexuality is planning an international study to determine whether it's a sexual disorder or a legitimate orientation on par with homo, hetero and bisexuality.

"Finding out what causes asexuality is a major issue,'' says Anthony Bogaert, a psychologist at Ontario's Brock University.

"I do endorse, or at least leave open the possibility, that this could be a unique or different sexual orientation.''

In August 2004, Bogaert published the results of an unprecedented study of the incidence of asexuality. Analyzing a British survey in which more than 18,000 people were questioned on their sexual practices, he found 1.05 per cent of respondents agreed with the statement, "I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all.''

Because Bogaert's figure is specific to Britons in the early '90s, he hesitates to use it as a yardstick for the global asexual population in 2006.

It does, however, provide one benchmark. If the numbers were extrapolated for North America, about 3.5 million people, including 346,500 Canadians, would never have experienced sexual attraction.

"I'm doing what I can to uncover etiological factors, trying to figure out whether or not there's truly a biological underpinning to people's asexuality,'' says Bogaert.

"I may, in the next year or so, end up bringing asexual people into a laboratory and assessing their physiological responses, their sexual responses, to different stimuli and compare them to sexual people's responses.''

Cijay Morgan, a self-identified asexual from Edmonton, describes her lifelong absence of sexual urges as "liberating.''

Although able to develop crushes based on emotional interest, she says sexual desire -- toward either gender -- never enters the picture.

"I think it's in my hardwiring because it feels as normal as being right-handed or blue-eyed,'' she says.

"I didn't really think about it until suddenly everybody (in my youth) started speaking this whole new language. I thought that eventually I would think just like them. But I'm 43 now.''

According to AVEN, an online network launched in the United States, asexuality differs from celibacy in that it's not a conscious choice. The Official Nonlibidoism Society, fronted by a young woman in the Netherlands, similarly explains that asexuality ``doesn't just mean that `you don't like sex;' a nonlibidoist has not had a sex drive ever.''

That's where asexuals tend to diverge in their views from sex therapists, many of whom explain "the experience of asexuality'' as a variation of hypoactive sexual desire disorder or a state triggered by repressed homosexuality, delayed sexual development, or childhood trauma.

"You have to wonder whether they protest too much,'' says Joy Davidson, a certified sex therapist and author of Fearless Sex.

"There's no law against not being sexual. It's the `ra-ra,' uneducated, rigid flag-waving that I have a problem with because it doesn't give young people still in their developmental process a framework for understanding the complexities of sexuality and desire.''

David Rayside, director of the University of Toronto's Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies, believes it doesn't matter whether asexuality is inborn, ingrained or the result of something else entirely. What's significant, he says, is how self-identified asexuals feel about themselves and the way society treats them as a whole.

"So much like some views of bisexuality, there will be people who say it's a transition, it's a cover,'' says Rayside.

"But I think it's more important to recognize that it's a phenomenon out there than to worry about whether it's in the same league as homosexuality in all its various forms.'' CanWest News Service

http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=b013ef56-b550-4ce5-823f-186d9afab698&k=29150

HAHAHAHAHA! Good one Jen =)

Layna

Layna,

I call it bumping uglies. ROFL

Jen

----- Original Message -----

Well, we do... *cough* Anyway... I may or may not be done with sex. I've had it, gone through the motions, blah blah blah but to me its not a matter of "have to" or not. I'd much rather enjoy sensual touch rather than sexual, or I guess a better way of saying that is human touch... *shrugs* heck if I know, just don't force me to do the nasty =P

Layna

I hear you Layna. He is beginning to get on my nerves. I wonder where he comes up with such conclusions. I hate people that think they are experts about every subject. So, I haven't had sex in about a year and a half. I masturbated twice since my last encounter. The last time I actually did have sex, I did it because I was in a relationship where it was expected of me. I didn't like it or want it but I did it to shut his whiney ass up. I consider myself asexual because I have no desire to copulate with another human being. If this asswipe wants to argue with me about how I view my sexuality or what label I choose to give myself, then he can suck my ... um, well nevermind. Asexuals don't willingly suck those kinds of things.

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To the Group: I received the following email on another Yahoo group I am a member of. If you belong to ANY Yahoo! Groups (you do as you are reading this) - be aware that Yahoo! is now using "Web Beacons" to track every Yahoo! Group user. They're similar to cookies, but allow Yahoo! to record every Web site and every group you visit, even when you're not connected to Yahoo!.

Look at its updated privacy statement regarding "Web Beacons:"

http://privacy.yahoo.com/privacy/us/beacons/details.html

In that section find a little "Click Here to Opt Out" link that will let you "opt-out" of its snooping. Be careful NOT to click on the next button shown. It is an "Opt Back In" button that, if clicked, will UNDO the opt-out.