Haven for the Human Amoeba

WHEN YOU check the site out, please get the correct URL as listed below. You can get a very nasty surprise if you don't.

Karin

1. Check-out www.asexualove.net - personals for asexuals

I'm still trying to find myself, but I don't feel comfortable having sexual relations with others. I never did. I used to go on dates with girls to try to "fit in" and pretend to be 'normal'. I knew I wasn't exactly gay because I didn't want to have sex with guys either. Although I wish I was gay sometimes.

I hate kissing and being kissed. I have had girls on dates literally try to remove my pants, but I always made an excuse as to why we couldn't do it right then. "Oh, damm, I forgot to take my herpes pill."

I don't know how that fits with the definition of asexual, but I think its the closest thing to describe me. Relationships with females now a days tend to be more like brother and sister rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. Most girls can't understand that.

They get mad when I don't react to their flirting to get me to help them with stuff. I've watched other guys and one wink from a girl and they are all "yes masser" slaves to her.

I don't know if that makes me 100%, 50% or something else.

Dennis.

Hi!

Anyone out there like me who is 100% Asexual--has no sexual feelings at all and never been in a relationship? If so, I will be so happy.

I defintely don't feel sexual attraction toward others. However, I can still appreciate things like beauty and stuff - both male and female.

Sometimes I feel regret that I don't have a wife, however, I think this is more to do with the feeling of being left out as all my friends have gone on and gotten married. When I imagine myself as married, I tend to think about "Where am I going to put this womans stuff?" and "How can I possibly afford to feed her?" rather than, "We can have sex all day". In other words, although I do feel left out, I ultimately would be very unhappy as a married person.

When friends get married, they seem to dump their old single friends in favor of new married friends. That is bad enough, but I've had friends (even relatives) not want me around their kids alone because I was still single. I hate that. Single guys are all perverts and child molesters or haven't you heard.

Nevertheless, I suspect that a lot of asexuals have succombed to life pressures and gotten married because that's what you're supposed to do even though they really aren't happy that way. Still others are likely being forced into relationships by today's uncertain economy.

In my case, given the definitions of hetrosexual, homosexual and asexual, I am fairly certain that asexual is the best fit. Assuming they don't come out with a new kind of sexuality, I think that's the one that best describes me.

Dennis.

well, nothing "makes" you asexual. since the definition isn't that exact and solid, we can't form a "litmus test" for whether you're asex or not. do you feel that the definition of an asexual, a person who doesn't feel sexual attraction to others, fits you? do you feel comfortable with it? i'm assuming that you're happy with everything you described there, i.e. don't feel bad for not wanting intrusive physical contact.

This appears to be an alert to another scam-a scam that could get all of us spending money without knowing it-very worth reading

.Subject: 809 Calls IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT AREA CODE We actually received a call last week from the 809 area code. The woman said "Hey, this is Karen. Sorry I missed you--get back to us quickly. I Have something important to tell you." Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809 . "We didn't respond".

Then this week, we received the following e-mail:

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T. DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809

This one is being distributed all over the US . This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call. Be sure you read this and pass it on. They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a family member who has been ill or to tell you someone has-been arrested, died, or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc. In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return these calls.

If you call from the US , you will apparently be charged $2425 per-minute.

Or, you'll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges. Unfortunately, when you get your phone bill, you'll often be charged more than $24,100.00.

WHY IT WORKS:

The 809 area code is located in the British Virgin Islands (The Bahamas). The charges afterwards can become a real nightmare. That's because you did actually make the call. If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You'll end up dealing with a foreign company that argues they have done nothing wrong.

Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam

A real scam, though several details are inaccurate. See http://www.snopes.com/fraud/ telephone/809.asp for details.

Now I'm confused. Is is just me? Why would an asexual want to place a personal ad? I don't have a problem with women, crowds, speaking in front of a large audience or wearing speedos to the beach. But I cringe at the thought of anyone living in my house besides me.

I tend to have more male friends simply because guys tend to think a lot the same and my guy friends (at least most of them) don't flirt with me or expect me to react to them sexually. Nevertheless, I still wouldn't want one living with me on a permanent basis.

Is anybody else here like that?

Dennis

Hi!

What is your name? Mine is Nicole. I tried Yahoo personals and also Yahoo IM local area chats. I've found some nice people. But let's just say that "asexual" is NOT one of the "fetishes" they cater to. :-) I met lots of horn-doggies (male and female). With a lot of very strange ideas about people who aren't so much into sex. If you can get past the slew of obnoxious comments, some actually make nice pals.

Do you all find that not-into-sex people are shy? Because I did find some "celibate" dating sites and I put personals on there and there are no replies. And other people on there don't get many replies either, so it's not just my bad breath or something. ;-) The other weird thing that happens on the celibate sites is that they are exactly the same as the regular personals. But instead of everyone obsessing about all the stuff they DO sexually and whether or not you'll do it... they obsess about all the stuff they DON'T do sexually and whether or not you won't do it.

Either way, I end up with these weirdos asking me stuff like, "Do you shave it?" before I've even had a chance to introduce myself and say nice to meet you.

AAAACCCCKKKK!!!!

Nicole who is beginning to wonder... Is it that I am so asexual? Or is it that these people are just sooooooo not sexy?

There's another group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asexuals_R_Us

for us to get to know each other and make friends.

Hi everybody! Asexualove.net is finally something that many of us had been looking for. It's an easy to navigate, personals website for us. There was a message about this already, but I just wanted to put a reminder.

You can put together your ad and see profiles of others. You must check-it-out if you are like me and want to put an end to your misery, find someone to love and live a "normal" life. (Women you can see me there). I think the website is new because there are only a couple of ads. On www.asexualove.net you can find just friends or partners.

Personally, I easily get a crush on nice personality or a nice girl face, love closeness, but when it comes to intercourse it might as well be with a pillow ;-) I'm ultimately looking for someone who can share with me a non sex-pressure love and all the things life has to offer.

Sorry if I seem to be blunt, but it might be in reaction to one of the earlier postings. You're not going to find asexual friends on chat rooms. How many people can there be if this group has only 605 members (about 3 is me because I keep forgetting my ID). And chat rooms are filled with idiots who will just make you more miserable.

I would like to see you there. Kuba680.

Yes I feel the same way about people living with me. I don't mind going out with someone to movies, camping, whatever, but no moving in.

Now I'm confused. Is is just me? Why would an asexual want to place a personal ad? I don't have a problem with women, crowds, speaking in front of a large audience or wearing speedos to the beach. But I cringe at the thought of anyone living in my house besides me.

I tend to have more male friends simply because guys tend to think a lot the same and my guy friends (at least most of them) don't flirt with me or expect me to react to them sexually. Nevertheless, I still wouldn't want one living with me on a permanent basis.

Is anybody else here like that?

Dennis

Nicole M Bliss said:

Hi!

What is your name? Mine is Nicole. I tried Yahoo personals and also Yahoo IM local area chats. I've found some nice people. But let's just say that "asexual" is NOT one of the "fetishes" they cater to. :- ) I met lots of horn-doggies (male and female). With a lot of very strange ideas about people who aren't so much into sex. If you can get past the slew of obnoxious comments, some actually make nice pals.

Do you all find that not-into-sex people are shy? Because I did find some "celibate" dating sites and I put personals on there and there are no replies. And other people on there don't get many replies either, so it's not just my bad breath or something. ;-) The other weird thing that happens on the celibate sites is that they are exactly the same as the regular personals. But instead of everyone obsessing about all the stuff they DO sexually and whether or not you'll do it... they obsess about all the stuff they DON'T do sexually and whether or not you won't do it.

Either way, I end up with these weirdos asking me stuff like, "Do you shave it?" before I've even had a chance to introduce myself and say nice to meet you.

AAAACCCCKKKK!!!!

Nicole who is beginning to wonder... Is it that I am so asexual? Or is it that these people are just sooooooo not sexy?

That's what I did. Got married and had a child. [ because that's what I felt I was supposed to do] I lived with my husband 20 days. I couldn't stand him being around. We stayed friends for many years though and had a great daughter.

I defintely don't feel sexual attraction toward others. However, I can still appreciate things like beauty and stuff - both male and female.

Sometimes I feel regret that I don't have a wife, however, I think this is more to do with the feeling of being left out as all my friends have gone on and gotten married. When I imagine myself as married, I tend to think about "Where am I going to put this womans stuff?" and "How can I possibly afford to feed her?" rather than, "We can have sex all day". In other words, although I do feel left out, I ultimately would be very unhappy as a married person.

When friends get married, they seem to dump their old single friends in favor of new married friends. That is bad enough, but I've had friends (even relatives) not want me around their kids alone because I was still single. I hate that. Single guys are all perverts and child molesters or haven't you heard.

Nevertheless, I suspect that a lot of asexuals have succombed to life pressures and gotten married because that's what you're supposed to do even though they really aren't happy that way. Still others are likely being forced into relationships by today's uncertain economy.

In my case, given the definitions of hetrosexual, homosexual and asexual, I am fairly certain that asexual is the best fit. Assuming they don't come out with a new kind of sexuality, I think that's the one that best describes me.

Dennis.

On 13 Jun 2005, 00:50 +00:00, iillina z said:

well, nothing "makes" you asexual. since the definition isn't that exact and solid, we can't form a "litmus test" for whether you're asex or not. do you feel that the definition of an asexual, a person who doesn't feel sexual attraction to others, fits you? do you feel comfortable with it? i'm assuming that you're happy with everything you described there, i.e. don't feel bad for not wanting intrusive physical contact.

Now I'm confused. Is is just me? Why would an asexual want to place a personal ad? I don't have a problem with women, crowds, speaking in front of a large audience or wearing speedos to the beach. But I cringe at the thought of anyone living in my house besides me.

Good for you, but expecting all asexuals to be exactly the same is like expecting all of anything else to be the same. Every group contains a range of behaviors and quirks.

The main definition of an asexual is someone who doesn't desire sexual intercourse, neither homosexual nor heterosexual. As I understand it, everything else is a set of options that individuals can select from or reject for themselves.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

SO perhaps an oversimplified explanation would be: "Heterosexuals like like opposite sex. Homosexuals like the same sex. Asexuals don't like sex period."

However, since there is so little documentation about being asexual (I lost my instruction manual), I am really curious about how others feel about certain things. It would be great if the list owner would open up the poll section. I would be especially curious to see what percentage of asexuals who are in a relationship with others are there because they were forced by the economy, loneliness or they simply like it. Also, is the other person also an asexual or something else. And, do they know you are an asexual.

Stuff like that.

Dennis.

The main definition of an asexual is someone who doesn't desire sexual intercourse, neither homosexual nor heterosexual. As I understand it, everything else is a set of options that individuals can select from or reject for themselves.

Asexualityorientation of disorientation? New understanding growing for those who simply want to keep their hands to themselves Tuesday, February 08, 2005 @09:00AM by Candice Vallantin (The Ubyssey, University of British Columbia)

VANCOUVER, B.C. (CUP)Asexuality. After having recently heard of this extremely interesting concept for the first time myself, I thought I would see if the public had any more of an idea than I did. "Do you know what asexuality is?" I asked random strangers on a street corner one night, while the snow fell silently through the sky and clung to our hair. Blank faces stared back at me. "Ummmmmmm, ahhhh, huh?"

Although many simply had no idea, I did get some creative answers. "Someone who masturbates, loves themselves," an old man responded proudly. "Temporary disillusionment," a young woman told me, arching her eyebrow, looking clever. "Yup. When you are neither male nor female, or when you exhibit signs of both," Adriana, a 28-year-old student responded. My personal favourite was from a fellow Ubyssey writer"Go talk to someone who's been married for 20 years." The Asexual Visibility and Education Network To clear up the confusion, I called up David Jay, the founder of the AVEN website (www.asexuality.org). Jay, a 22-year-old living in St. Louis, founded the website in 2001 and added online forums in 2002. According to Jay, an asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction or someone who doesn't pursue partner sexuality. He's careful to point out that this has nothing to do with abstinence or celibacy; it isn't a conscious choice. "It's not that we have a problem with sex or think it's bad or dirty; there's just no interest," he tells me.

But clarifying the actual definition of asexuality is difficult. As is evident from the forums on his website, those who identify as asexual do so for different reasons, and lead very different lifestyles. Some asexuals experimented with sexual relations or were involved in a relationship with a sexual person before they discovered they were asexual, while some asexuals have never had any sexual experience.

For Jay, sexual interest was just never there. He tells me nostalgically of the early school days, when his friends first started talking about crushes, liking girls, wanting to date them. Jay just didn't get it.

"But what are you getting at? And what's the difference between like, and like-like?" he laughs. It wasn't an issue at first; people just assumed he was a late bloomer or introverted. He came from a very accepting school that spoke about sexuality early on. By grade nine, students had come out as gay and bisexual and were accepted. "But there wasn't a discussion of asexuality as an identity," he recalls.

When he finally heard this obscure word in passing during a conference on lesbian, gay and bisexual diversity, he knew he wanted to start the website. "My goal was really to create some kind of community," he says enthusiastically. Soon after, he started getting e-mails asking him all sorts of questions. "People just really wanted to talk about it." Soon after, he added the online forum. The Official Non-Libidoism Society Another website promoting asexuality, The Official Non-Libidoism Society (www.theofficialasexualsociety.com), was founded by Geraldine Levi in 2000. Levi's definition of an asexual is "someone who is born without sexual feelings." This website doesn't have an online forum like AVEN, but promotes asexuality and informs readers with advice based on Levi's life experiences as well as with posted life stories of other asexuals. But Levi isn't an average woman: the 24-year-old comedian, writer, actor, singer and painter from Arnhem, Holland, has been performing a one-woman comic musical since she was 16.

"In those shows, I often turn the subject to sexualities, trying to make people understand things via the power of laughter and music," she tells me. More recently, having become frustrated with the lack of information on asexuality beyond that of plants"I wasn't green last time I looked into the mirror!"she decided to write a book, Strangers in a Strange Land, that will be published in the spring of next year. She is also apparently working to develop a sitcom featuring an asexual, a bisexual man, a lesbian and a gay man to further promote understanding. Will and Grace fans, brace yourselves! Love without sex? Asexuals want to let it be known that they are not hermits, sexually repressed, frigid people. Some asexuals want relationships, but only non-sexual relationships. And in a world obsessed with sex since the sexual revolution of the '60s, this can be quite challenging.

"All I wanted from love was to be with someone," Levi writes. "A hug, a kiss, a dance, sharing moments together." Although an obviously fun, charismatic woman, she's had difficulties with relationships. Her first high school boyfriend of three years dumped her because of her unwillingness to have sex.

After this, she had a relationship with a gay man. "He really loved me and I deeply loved him, a perfect relationship without sex," she recalls. But he eventually found a man and left her, too. Her last relationship, with a woman she had met one night at a gay bar after having performed one of her stand-up comedy shows, failed for different reasons: the woman's mother did not approve.

As for Jay, he isn't in love right now, although he would like to be and says he is in a lot of relationships, although relationship definitions are huge questions around asexuality. Although Jay is more attracted to women, he points out some people may identify as straight-sexual or gay-sexual, meaning that they are non-sexually attracted to members of their sex as opposed to members of the opposite sex or vice-versa. The bottom line is a romantic relationship can take place without sexual endeavours. He says he has made out with someone before, but has never gone farther because "it just doesn't make sense" to him. As for arousal, everything works down there, but it's never really directed at anyone; he just sees this as a mechanical annoyance. The double agent Through AVEN, I found Keith Walker, 32, from Texas. Walker's been on both sides of the sexual fence. As it turns out, this articulate, witty man has quite the resum: he worked in school cafeterias through college, got a degree in journalism, became a journalist, got bored, became a stock broker, got stressed out, and then decided he really liked being a lunch lady. He found the AVEN website about two years ago, and only realized he was asexual around a year ago. In the meantime, he struggled with the dating game as a non-sexual person for at least 20 years. He admits that pulling out the "It's not you, it's me" line most of his life has caused some problems.

"If I had a dollar for every argument I'd gotten into... but it's true, when someone says that, it sounds like they're cheating!" he says and stumbles into laughter. He'd resorted to using religion as an excuse. "But having no interest one way or another, that is something people just don't understand; they just tell me I'm not doing it right." He stops and sighs.

Here's the kicker: Walker was married for six years, and although he loved her, it didn't work out, as sexor lack thereofbecame an issue. She, along with many people Walker knows, believes he is gay. But sex seems very clinical to Walker, and even porn just doesn't do anything for him. He currently lives with another man he met at a local bar one night who coincidentally is a member of AVEN as well.

"I've never felt so comfortable with anyone else," he tells me. But skepticism is a major issue all asexuals have to deal with on a regular basis. Walker, who tells me his friends think he's just plain nuts, tells me, "I don't mind if you have serious doubtsjust don't try to change me to your conception of what I need to be." Sex once a day keeps the doctors away When I asked the asexuals I spoke with if they felt any discrimination because they were asexual, they all basically said the same thing: it all boils down to disbelief and skepticism.

I wanted to see for myself, so I told random people in downtown Vancouver the AVEN definition of asexuality. The responses varied from shock ("Is that possible?" and "With their own free will?") to misunderstanding ("Oh, like nuns") to "Well they're just shy." And then there was the token, "That must be a chemical imbalance."

I asked Jay what causes asexuality. "Well, the causes of asexuality are just as mysterious as the causes of heterosexuality or homosexuality," he says.

I wanted an academic perspective, and when I contacted the World Association for Sexology, Pierre Assalian, president of the 17th World Congress of Sexuality to be held this summer in Montreal, told me asexuality is part of sexual dysfunctions and referred me to a number of sex therapists in Vancouver.

I attempted to contact Rosemary Basson, a consultant for sexual medicine at Vancouver General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at the University of British Columbia, to clarify this matter of disorders and asexuality. When it comes to sexual disorders, she is careful to point out that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is mostly genitalia focused as it is difficult to pinpoint any other factors with which to rate sexual desire, and is also a less accurate judge of female versus male experiences. But she goes on to say that "when additionally, erotic stimuli fail to trigger desire; and during sexual activity, potentially useful stimuli fail to trigger arousal and desire and there is distress, then disorder may be considered." Sexy science Although WAS told me there wasn't an official expert on asexuality, Anthony F. Bogaert comes close. He has done an intensive study on asexuality based on a question asked in a 1994 survey of sexuality in Britain.

In his study "Asexuality: Prevalence and Associated Factors in a National Probability Sample," Bogaert begins by explaining the difference between hypoactive sexual desire disorder or sexual aversion disorder, with asexuality: "In both sexual aversion disorder and HSDD, there usually is or was a sexual orientation toward partners of either or both genders, but there is either an aversion for genital contact with these partners (e.g., extreme anxiety when a sexual encounter presents itself) or a low sexual desire for these partners."

He notes, however, that asexuals seem to be sexually unattracted to either sex, and thus do not fit in with these disorders. As for the causes, although he explores a variety of options, there isn't enough data to prove it is anything in particular. He thus classifies it as another orientation along with homosexuality and heterosexuality. And with this in mind, one of the main questions he focuses on in his study is the prevalence of asexuality.

The survey asked approximately 18,600 people in Britain questions relating to sexuality. The results were impressive. A total of 195 people responded, "I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone." This constitutes approximately 1.05 per cent of the respondents. But he also concludes that those willing to participate in sexual surveys have a tendency to be more sexually experienced and active than those who do not, and thus with a refusal rate of 30 per cent. It is highly likely that the actual asexual population may have been underrepresented in the survey.

As a result, it is still unclear what percentage of the population is asexual. A recent poll conducted on the Internet by CNN asking, "How would you categorize yourself?" found that six per cent claimed to be asexual with 16 per cent bisexual or homosexual and 78 per cent heterosexual, out of 108,893 votes. What is clear is that there haven't been nearly enough studies done on asexuality, creating a limited, questionable amount of information that leads to confusion and misunderstanding in the general population. Orientation of disorientation? But the lack of proper science and numbers isn't the only reason people are confused or ignorant about asexuality. There is even debate within the online asexual community about what constitutes asexuality. Many different terms like "semi-sexual" and "non-libidoism" are being thrown around, while others still are using the term "amoeba" as an ironic comment to reclaim their asexuality. While there doesn't seem to be a strict definitionperhaps because sexual experience, at least in this case, doesn't seem to be a proper measure of sexual orientationothers aren't even sure if it is, in fact, an orientation.

After having long, drawn-out conversations with a few asexuals about their sex lives, or lack thereof, close relationships and tough times, I asked how they would like to change or improve regarding society's perspective on asexuality. Walker replied with an honest plea: "I would like it to be acknowledged that not having sex is perfectly okay." Jay realizes that first, we need to establish a dialogue so that the tough questions can be asked, even if there aren't answers right away.

The amount of research done on the subject of asexuality to date is pitiful, forcing young asexuals, growing up in a world of hormones and constantly advertised hot sweaty bodies in the likes of Britney Spears, to question their identity, sanity and sometimes, force themselves to commit to non-consenting acts.

Basson said it clearly: if there is distress, there may be a disorder. In an era of diversity and acceptance, where gay men and lesbians in most of Canada can proclaim their devout love to each other under the oath of marriage, it should be acknowledged that there is a community of people who don't think about sex, don't want sex and intend to never have sex.

"Some of us have never had sex, others may have dabbled, still others might have put in years of community service, yet we all still identify as asexual." This comment written by Walker responds to a thread on the AVEN site that asks, "Is asexuality really an orientation?" Out of 54 votes, only 70 per cent think it is, while 20 per cent are undecided, and nine per cent respond in the negative. Some suggest it is a disorientation, while others think since it isn't a sexual orientation, it should have a category of its own. Jay's answer was simpler and more direct. "Anyone who uses the term asexual to describe themselves, and finds it useful to do so is asexual."

http://thelink.concordia.ca/article.pl?sid=05/02/09/1820224

Asexuality: A Lifestyle With Myriad Variations Posted by Leonard DeRogatis, Ph.D. on Mon, Jul 18, 2005, 5:29 pm PDT

What does it mean when someone indicates that he or she is asexual? For me, an asexual person is someone without the typical sexual needs and desires of most people.

These individuals, primarily women, say they have never experienced conscious sexual desire in their lifetimes and would just as soon read a book, go for a walk, or do almost anything other than be sexually intimate with another person.

Asexual people are not afraid of sex, nor are they sexually repressed. They may be curious about sex, particularly given all the fuss society makes about it, but they truly have no libido, or urge to engage in sexual behavior. They may be well within the bounds of normality in all other aspects of their lives and behavior, but when it comes to sexuality they are definitely not typical of the general population.

Asexuals are quite distinct from individuals who recognize and experience sexual urges but, for various reasons (religious, spiritual, aesthetic), choose not to respond to these impulses. These individuals consciously choose to be celibate. Sexual behavior is absent from the lives of these persons, as it is from the lives of asexuals. But, unlike asexual people, celibates by choice are not without sexual desire, so I do not regard them as truly asexual. Suppression of an appetitive drive is not the same as its absence.

There are also men and women who don?t engage in sexual behavior because of psychological or medical disorders or because they experience problems relating to others. Endocrine deficiencies, sexual aversions (i.e., panic), serious psychiatric illnesses, profound personality disorders, and general social klutziness can seriously impair some people?s ability to fulfill their sexual desires. This does not mean they are asexual, even though their behavior may imply a lack of sexual interest. They simply cannot act effectively on the urges that they experience. Another large number of people seem disinterested in sex, but their disinterest is situational: They simply don?t want to have sex with their current partners. This state will often change dramatically with a new partner.

People in any of these situations will often describe themselves as asexual because it suggests they are taking a high road, rising above mere carnal sexual desire. The truth of the matter is that ?I?m asexual? sounds more acceptable than ?I?m scared stiff about being sexually intimate with another person, and don?t know what to do about it.? There are many ways to be asexual in our behavior, but few of them reflect true asexuality.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/sexderogatis/27/asexuality-a-lifestyle-with-myriad-variations

The Asexuality of Isaac Newton and OthersAdded: 01/13/2006

Asexuality has been around as long as sexuality itself, with some of the most notable asexuals being famous or well-known people. Isaac Newton is one of the most notable asexual people, as his laws of motion and gravity definitely put him on the map. Other notable asexual individuals are Glenn Gould, a Canadian pianist, and John Ruskin - an author, poet, and social critic.

Asexuality is hard to really define or even point out because most people who are asexual are often believed to be homosexual or even bisexual or just strange by the outsiders. Because many asexuals do not follow gender roles or have a clear-cut gender identity it can be confusing for those on the outside looking in. Gender identity often defines who we are socially, so you can bet the friends of Isaac Newton, Glenn Gould, and John Ruskin put a lot of thought into the sexual orientation of their friends!

Many friends of Isaac Newton believed he was just too into his work to notice women, or even men for that matter. Isaac Newton was such an accomplished person in every respect that it was just assumed that maybe he couldnt make time for romance. But, those who were closest to him realized that he seemed to lack sexual attraction or even a desire for sex. Close friends and family knew that Isaac Newton just wasnt quite like everyone else, but in 1727 when he died there wasnt much data about asexuality so he sort of died as a sexual and social mystery in many peoples minds.

John Ruskin is a little bit more of a clear-cut picture of asexuality. John Ruskin was a famous poet, author, and social critic living from 1819-1900. John Ruskin was actually married to a woman named Ellie, but several years later the couple divorced for non-consummation of vows. According to socialites of the time, the rumor was that he refused any physical contact with his wife, and lacked any physical attraction to her. Years later John Ruskin fell in love with a nine-year-old girl and asked her to marry him; some say he was attracted to her because as a young girl she also lacked sexuality. The young girl rejected him, and he never did marry or have any known romantic relations.

In addition to Isaac Newton and John Ruskin is Glenn Gould. Glenn Gould was a Canadian pianist that seemed a bit odd to all that came in contact with him. He was not social, and preferred to do all the communication through letters. Gould never married, and had a strong aversion to being touched. A preoccupation with his health and safety of his hands was notable, as was an addiction to prescription drugs. Like Isaac Newton, he never showed any interest in women, and seemed to lack physical attraction to others or desire to have sex or sexual contact.

Not much research has been done on asexuality. Some believe the asexuality of Isaac Newton and others is a rare sexual orientation, others believe it may be a dysfunction or even a sexual aversion disorder. Asexuality seems to vary from person to person, from a disinterest in human contact to a full-fledged aversion to other people. There were surely others before Isaac Newton, and there will surely be more people similar to him in the future.

2005 SYL.com All rights reserved. http://articles.syl.com/theasexualityofisaacnewtonandothers.html

I have the opposite problem. I love people and am very social but do not want sex. I have solved this problem by renting out to a boarder where theren is no physical but there is someone around me. Mary

Hi there.. there is some time I am here, however I never have told about me

I live in east europe, I am male adult. I'd love to start chatting with asexual women by MSN or YIM.

I'd love also to speak with asexual transexuals

Yahoo!; (spam); Yahoo! Mail

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That's a good idea!!

I have the opposite problem. I love people and am very social but do not want sex. I have solved this problem by renting out to a boarder where theren is no physical but there is someone around me. Mary

Yes I feel the same way about people living with me. I don't mind going out with someone to movies, camping, whatever, but no moving in.

"Don't Litter- Spay or Neuter!" http://savesurface.com/

Out of curiosity, why do you want to speak to asexual transsexuals? I am a post-transition female-to-male transsexual, but I have never felt that it is related in any way to my asexuality.

Hi there.. there is some time I am here, however I never have told about me

I live in east europe, I am male adult. I'd love to start chatting with asexual women by MSN or YIM.

I'd love also to speak with asexual transexuals

--- Lost Boy <lostboy1205@...> :

Out of curiosity, why do you want to speak to asexual transsexuals? I am a post-transition female-to-male transsexual, but I have never felt that it is related in any way to my asexuality.

Simply because it's the only place I can find one. Most transexuals I have met are interested only in sex and dating. I don't care if asexuality and transexuality are related :)

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Wow, what a spectrum of asexuals! We definitely can't all be pigeonholed into one category. There are asexuals that request the company of transsexuals, asexuals that like to kiss and cuddle, asexuals that don't crave non-sexual physical contact at all, there are those that want to live alone, others that want people around. There are those asexuals that masturbate, those that don't. Some of us amoebas have had sex in the past because it was expected of us, others are virgins. Some asexuals are drawn to the same sex, others are drawn to the opposite sex.

I think it's fascinating how we are all asexual, but even within our little group, there are dozens of little "sub-groups". If Sigmund Freud were alive today, he'd have a field day trying to figure us out! I'm glad I found you all.

In an attempt to get to know you all a little better, I'm going to post some questions. Please cut and paste the questions, erase my answers, and add your own.

1. Name: Linda

2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 31

4. Location: Matawan, NJ

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes. I did it for the wrong reasons. In past relationships, I wanted love and acceptance, so I did it to "keep the peace". At this point in time, I'm mature enough and I have enough self respect to not cave in to the other people's demands.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? I have a strong attraction to men. I just don't want to have sex with them. However, I am open-minded. If I found a female, transsexual, or transgendered person that had the qualities I seek in another human being, I'd certainly give them a chance.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Yes. If people ask about my sexuality, I tell them. Some think I'm nuts, others tell me it's a phase, others think they can "turn" me into a sex fiend, and some actually try to understand that not everybody has a life that revolves around sexual conquest.

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? No, I am not married. As for getting married? It really wouldn't mean much to me. Marriage is a union that is sanctioned by religion. I am not religious, so it wouldn't mean anything. To me, marriage is little more than a piece of paper that entitles people to tax breaks.

9. Do you have or want children? I have motherly instincts, but they are geared towards my dogs. Don't get me wrong ... babies are adorable, but at present, I don't have the time, energy, patience, or money to care for one. If there ever comes a time where I want children, I guess I will have to drink a lot of wine, lay down, and brace myself for an unpleasant roll in the hay.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Very much so. I like romance, kisses, and massages that don't lead to sex. I love cuddling. To me, there is nothing more pleasant than being spooned by a strong, warm man. (Preferably one who doesn't snore.)

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Sometimes. Of course there are times where I think life would be easier if I were "normal" like everybody else.

12. Do you date? Not often. I don't see the point anymore. Sexual people go on dates to get laid. Sure, maybe they don't all want it right away, but the expectation is that after days/weeks/months of becoming acquainted, the relationship will eventually become sexual. My last "date" was a few months ago. The guy actually had the nerve to grab my breast as I hugged him goodbye. Needless to say, he got scratched pretty hard. Looking back, I probably should have knocked his teeth out! :-) I do have plenty of male friends that I adore. After all, I am an ironworker ... a field that is entirely dominated by men. I can drink beers and tell dirty jokes like the best of them. But even if I wasn't asexual, I wouldn't make a move on any of my coworkers because we all know it's not wise to "shit where you eat". I do admit though, some of those boys are quite attractive. I can appreciate the rugged beauty of a sweaty, dirty, hard-working man!

Hi Dennis, I've never done a personal ad and likely never will either. I do want a roommate or a couple of them. I prefer someone to just be around the house so to speak. I don't want anyone sleeping in the same room with me. This can keep me awake. Sleeping in the same bed with someone who is NONsexual is still very uncomfortable. My preference is for roomies I enjoy a lot, am relaxed around, unobtrusive and sleep in their own room. Oh yeah, quiet too. LOL

I don't like anyone flirting with me either.

Jen

Now I'm confused. Is is just me? Why would an asexual want to place a personal ad? I don't have a problem with women, crowds, speaking in front of a large audience or wearing speedos to the beach. But I cringe at the thought of anyone living in my house besides me.

I tend to have more male friends simply because guys tend to think a lot the same and my guy friends (at least most of them) don't flirt with me or expect me to react to them sexually. Nevertheless, I still wouldn't want one living with me on a permanent basis.

Is anybody else here like that?

Dennis

Nicole M Bliss said:

Hi!

What is your name? Mine is Nicole. I tried Yahoo personals and also Yahoo IM local area chats. I've found some nice people. But let's just say that "asexual" is NOT one of the "fetishes" they cater to. :-) I met lots of horn-doggies (male and female). With a lot of very strange ideas about people who aren't so much into sex. If you can get past the slew of obnoxious comments, some actually make nice pals.

Do you all find that not-into-sex people are shy? Because I did find some "celibate" dating sites and I put personals on there and there are no replies. And other people on there don't get many replies either, so it's not just my bad breath or something. ;-) The other weird thing that happens on the celibate sites is that they are exactly the same as the regular personals. But instead of everyone obsessing about all the stuff they DO sexually and whether or not you'll do it... they obsess about all the stuff they DON'T do sexually and whether or not you won't do it.

Either way, I end up with these weirdos asking me stuff like, "Do you shave it?" before I've even had a chance to introduce myself and say nice to meet you.

AAAACCCCKKKK!!!!

Nicole who is beginning to wonder... Is it that I am so asexual? Or is it that these people are just sooooooo not sexy?

I also love to hear my furr children snore..I have 6 dog children and they sleep very soundly..lol Oh I have 6 cat children also but they don't snore..and they get offended at it all... Brenda Roberts Landers, CA

Not me!!!! ;-) I love  1 or 2 snoring dog bodies in bed with me every morning. Any other animal people on this list? Mary