Haven for the Human Amoeba

I do want a roommate or a couple of them. I prefer someone to just be around the house so to speak. I don't want anyone sleeping in the same room with me. This can keep me awake. Sleeping in the same bed with someone who is NONsexual is still very uncomfortable. My preference is for roomies I enjoy a lot, am relaxed around, unobtrusive and sleep in their own room. Oh yeah, quiet too.

Sounds good to me! :-)

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Yes, I would love to participate in your survey. Here is mine...

Wow, what a spectrum of asexuals! We definitely can't all be pigeonholed into one category. There are asexuals thatrequest the company of transsexuals, asexuals that like to kiss and cuddle, asexuals that don't crave non-sexual physical contact at all, there are those that want to live alone, others that want people around. There are those asexuals that masturbate, those that don't. Some of us amoebas have had sex in the past because it was expected of us, others are virgins. Some asexuals aredrawn to the same sex, others are drawn to the opposite sex.

Pretty much sums it up if you ask me. Here are my answers:

1. Name: Dennis

2. Gender: Male

3. Age: 44

4. Location: Palm Beach, FL

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes when I was young. Before I realized that there was a third sexual orientation and that I was asexual. Its was primarily because of social pressure as that was what guys are supposed to do. I will not make that mistake again. I hope that more kids will learn about the asexual sexual orientation and not be pressured into having sex when that isn't what they really want.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? In terms of appreciating beauty, I'm attracted to both genders. However, beyond a close friendship, I'm not interested. Hugs are OK, kissing or sex is not. I hate kissing. I've had girls at work corner me and shove me into a wall and kiss me thinking I'll return the affection. Fortunately, its always the last kiss since I don't kiss back. Lip kissing is gross.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Yes, I am now that I know what it is. Before I told people that I was a heterosexual that wasn't attracted to women. I've always known there was something different about me when I was growing up, I just didn't know what it was. I just knew that I wasn't homosexual because I had no desire to have sex with guys.

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? Never married and I intend to stay that way. Its funny that all my married friends say that they are jealous of me and the 'single lifestyle'.

9. Do you have or want children? I have none, but the concept of rasing one seems interesting. I wouldn't want to adopt though.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Non sexual stuff with a woman is ok, but I could take it or leave it. I don't require it to survive. I live alone and want to keep it that way. I go out when I want to be around other people. Then I don't do anything that wouldn't be appropriate for a public setting.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Absolutely. I wish I was straight or even gay. Its just that there is a hard coded factor that prevents it.

12. Do you date? Never. An occasional casual trip to Burger King is about as romantic as it gets. NOTE to girls - Thats my weak spot. I lust for whoppers. Ask me if you can treat me to a Burger King lunch and I'll never say no. I do love whoppers, but I still manage to keep in fair shape.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? I've never been sexually abused or molested as a child. All my parts are still there and in perfect working order. I have no problem bringing UP the subject any time I want. There are no little blue pills in my medicine cabinet. Although I've never had kids, there is no reason to believe that all my guys aren't good swimmers. I have had people suggest that maybe I had low testosterone levels, but if that were true, I wouldn't have to constantly shave my chest and back to try to still look human. Cross me and you won't have any doubts as to my testosterone levels. Also, I'm not afraid to be naked around others. I've gone streaking a time or two and loved it. Streaking involves nudity, but not sex. I don't have a naked aversion problem which would prevent sex.

Please cut and paste the questions, erase my answers, and add your own.

1. Name: Mary

2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 60

4. Location: Southern California

5. Have you ever had sex? No

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Definately males

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Actually at my age I now fall into the "old maid" catagory. Also at my age there are many widows out there so there is little interest in my peer group. Hey the older you get the easier it is.

8. Are you married? No and never have been.

9. Do you have or want children? Definately yes. I have a wonderful 25 year old daughter that I adopted while in my mid-30's. I may not have an urge for sex but I have a hunk of a maternal instinct and an overwhelming need to be a mother. Still do Since my daughter grew up and moved out (the best 20 years of my life) I have been active in animal rescue and fostering and mother animals.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Very much so. I am very much a hugger. I also love massages and find it a wonderful ease for my aches and pains.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Sometimes. I had a psychic reading once where I was told that I was in a transition. My last couple of lives were spent as a nun and I was trying to break that rut but hadn't quite gotten there yet. Makes sense to me.

12. Do you date? Why bother? I guess if the right asexual man came around I would but he'd have to be somebody special. I have lots of friends to hang with and my kid in my life. I don't feel I am missing much

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Maybe I dislike sex because it brings back unpleasant memories of traumatic sexual events. Maybe it's because I am not comfortable with my body. Maybe it's because I have a hormone imbalance. Maybe it's a combination of many factors. I don't know. I look at it this way ... since it is not currently affecting my life adversely, I don't feel the need to investigate the "whys" and "hows" at this time. AMEN to this answer and I won't change it. I do have an additional question but only to the females on this list that are virgins, Do you have problems with pap tests? They are so uncomfortable for me that I have stopped having them. Last test after screaming in pain for the whole test I made up my mind "no more". My doctor is not happy with that decision but I will not go through that pain again.

Please cut and paste the questions, erase my answers, and add your own.

1. Name: Jim Sinclair

2. Gender: Neuter

3. Age: 44

4. Location: Upstate New York

5. Have you ever had sex? No

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? No preference

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Absolutely!

8. Are you married? No and never have been

9. Do you have or want children? Don't have any. Might consider adopting some.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Yes. I like intellectual stimulation, interesting conversation, humor, plus I just do better at staying organized when there's someone else around to cue me. In terms of *physical* human contact, I can appreciate contact such as hugging and cuddling (fully clothed!), if I have enough of an emotional bond with the person. I'm not a casual toucher.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? No. I think by ruling out the usual, traditional, "everyone does it" way of having relationships, asexuality has presented me with incredible opportunities to explore and discover aspects of connection that most people never imagine.

12. Do you date? No. Never saw any point in it.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? I'm pretty sure it's neurological. I'm autistic; asexuality seems to be more common in autistics than in neurotypicals. I have EEG abnormalities in the left temporal lobe, a brain region that is known to be involved in sexuality and sexual arousal. Those might be "reasons" for my asexuality, but I don't consider them "problems" or "pathologies." I like being who I am, and I like relating the ways that I do. I wouldn't want to be sexual.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

1. Name: Ted

2. Gender: Male

3. Age: 47

4. Location: Queens, New York City, NY

5. Have you ever had sex? No. My dating never reached a point where sex was offered or expected, and I never tried to initiate anything physical.

.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Females. I do fantasize and masturbate, and pictures of naked women work for that, while pictures of naked men don't. I wouldn't want anything I fantasize to be reality, though. .

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? I've brought it up with people I'm close to, like my parents, and I've mentioned it in on-line discussions. The subject hasn't come up with co-workers or the like.

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? No, never been married, and don't want to. I see my parents' and siblings' marriages, and they're happy with it, but it doesn't look like something I'd want, that much close interaction with another person.

9. Do you have or want children? None of my own. I do have children around all the time, though; I live in a household with my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and their four-year-old twins (plus my sister and brother-in-law and their kids live in Brooklyn). I like doing the uncle stuff with my nieces and nephews, but I wouldn't want the responsibility and effort of being a parent myself.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Not much; I've never done kissing, and hugs are uncomfortable and tolerated rather than reassuring for me. One exception: a hug from a child, like my nieces and nephews, doesn't make me uncomfortable the same way as with an adult; maybe I'm less self-conscious then, or it's more purely asexual.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? It was more like felt I should be bothered by it. When younger I tended to note down fictional characters who were virgins at later ages and which ones I hadn't passed yet, and I thought at one point that I should worry if I reached 25 as a virgin and panic at 30, but I never did much about it. By now, however, I've just accepted it as part of who I am; sex just isn't something that I do. Though it was a relief for me to hear about asexuality, to know that there was a category I fit into and that there were others like me.

12. Do you date? I dated occasionally in my 20's and 30's, and gave it up by the time I turned 40. More recently, however, since discovering asexuality, I've started dating again; I've been explicitly specifying that I'm only looking for a platonic involvement, someone to go to movies and museums with, discuss interesting books and topics, etc.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Nothing's turned up on general medical checkups, but I haven't asked specifically. I did see a psychologist for quite a while, to deal with shyness and social interaction, but asexuality as such didn't come up; my problem was in talking to people to get what I WAS interested in, not that I wasn't interested in sex.

Not me!!!! ;-) I love 1 or 2 snoring dog bodies in bed with me every morning. Any other animal people on this list? Mary

Sounds good to me! :-)

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

1. Name: Nicole Bliss

2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 29

4. Location: Philadelphia Area

5. Have you ever had sex? No

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Men

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Not really. I find the harrassment is great

8. Are you married? No

9. Do you have or want children? I think I would be a good mom. I would want more of a support system though.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Yes. I love my friends. I wish I had more nice people to hang out with. You know, fun stuff like calling friends to say "My fish just laid eggs!" Or having cool people to knit potholders for. (Not that I'm any good at this, but it's fun.) (I found a great site called www.meetup.com that is NOT a dating site. It's the only site I have found that isn't populated with sex fixated mindless hunting. It's a site for joining social clubs. And then you meet your local clubs in real life.) I have experienced vauge romantic attraction to guys, but I don't know what to do with it. I like snuggling with men who are nice to me. Women kind of freak me out if they physically go after me because my mom sucked big time. At some point it might be fun to live with people but right now I like being by myself and having my own space. The last group of people I lived with I used to get beaten alot. And also severly emotionally abused. Even if I lived with someone I liked, I would always have a room or study or something that was mine and I was the only person who went in there. I would never be financially dependent on another person. At all times I would have a safety fund for me and my children should the need arise.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Yes. I don't know where it comes from and I don't know why I am this way. I don't know if I am really a sexual person but had some trauma I should be healing to get where I'm naturally at, if I'm repressing myself or something, or if this is just my orientation. I steadfastly REFUSE to believe in the superiority of sexual people. They are in NO WAY superior at social relating. Rather, my experience has been they are more efficient in their need to violate/use people and act like mindless infants in adult bodies that demand non-stop accomodation and attention.

12. Do you date? No. I try to make myself sometimes. But I never get past the first date. These guys don't even CARE that I don't want them touching me. I'm not even there.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? I have no idea what's going on. It's not medical.

Nicole

Has anyone ever tried to talk to a therapist about this?

Cause I did.. He wasn't even capable of imagining life without sex. He treated me like a freak. He told me I might consider being a nun because that's what society did to people like me. And he got mad at me and started making some weird analogy about how he doesn't like people who don't eat their spinach.

(Trained professional. Apparently I sure know how to pick em.)

Has anyone ever talked to anybody who doesn't consider you sick? If possible, I'd love to hear some nice stories about how we got treated like humans. I am not getting this experience regarding this issue very often.

Nicole

By the way, I'm interested in celibate dating if anybody would like to say hi to me offline.

So far every single male I have talked to, asexual or no, from this list or not, regales me with epic sagas of their personal sexual dramas. I mean, not even, "hi! how are you?" or "what's your name?" or "Do you have a cat?" "What are your interests?" etc. There might be a "Hi my name is _____ . Followed by the elaborate penis diaries. I am a total stranger to him. This is our first conversation and the guy doesn't even know me. (If it's a sexual guy he obsesses about what his penis is doing. If it's an asexual guy he obsesses about what his penis is not doing.) This is really weird. And that's not my imagination. If you are interested in celibate dating but want to do this to someone, don't contact me.

And I've said that before and the guys respond to the email that says that and still do it. (Sheesh!) Why on gods green earth would a person want to start a connection with you when you don't listen to her, and don't respect boundaries from the get-go? When you do that, you are not displaying an ability to connect in enjoyable and meaningful ways on any level.

I also like women. As friends. I need lots of good friends of all sorts and genders and ages. From everywhere. (Sometimes lesbians freak me out, but I know that is my prejudice caused by my mom who used me as some freaky child bride.) I do have lesbian friends though who are certainly nice people.

If you want to hang out, have fun, enjoy conversation, go to the zoo, enjoy friendship, etc, see what evolves.... and you're not into controlling the outcome; I'd love to hear from you. I talk about sex (sometimes!) but not with total strangers. And not with people who are weirding me out.

Nicole

Not me!!!! ;-) I love 1 or 2 snoring dog bodies in bed with me every morning. Any other animal people on this list?

Meeeeee! I had to get a queen-size futon so there would still be a little bit of room for me, after the three large dogs (now up to four) and anywhere from 1-4 cats made themselves comfortable. (I don't like them snoring, though. When they snore, I shove them until they stop.) Human housemates would be able to offer some things that dogs and cat's can't, such as intelligent conversation and help with housework. But I wouldn't want to share my bed or even my bedroom with a human.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

1. Name: Kristen

2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 20

4. Location: Currently Logan, UT, however, I live in Memphis, TN.

5. Have you ever had sex? No. .

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Males, just because I am more able to share common interests, since I still consider myself to be a Tomboy.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? With my close friends I am, but it takes a while for it to come out with people I haven't known as long, because with that goes the whole conversation about what it is, and trying to explain why. It's frustrating every time I have to go through all of that.

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? No, but I would like to marry for companionship one day, if that's even possible in this day and age.

9. Do you have or want children? One day I would like to adopt a child or two, but not until I have someone else who would like to help me raise them.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? I'm definitely a hugger. I've never been kissed, and I can't say that it looks all that appealing. I'll just stick to the hugs for now.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Only when I have to explain about what it is to someone who seems sold on the idea that sex is everyone's motive for everything. I actually like it in a way, since I know that if I do end up marrying someone I know that it is not for the sex, and that it will last our lifetimes.

12. Do you date? I have dated, but not for 7 years. I would date if the right asexual man came around.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? I figure that it's like some people naturally like certain foods, while others can't stand them. I'm sure that somewhere there may be something physically different about me when compared to my sexual friends, but it can't be any more of a problem than not liking tomatoes or something, and thus, isn't a problem.

Kristen a.k.a. Mags (that makes me Mags, the Mag-nificent)

"And then God created ketchup, but the devil laughed, and that's why hell is red in all of the paintings." - Kristen's musings

1. Name: Debbie 2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 48

4. Location: Ashland, WI

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes and quickly discovered that it wasn't the end all be all that all the books and movies claimed it was. Heck of a discovery for someone who grew up in the midst of the sexual revolution.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? I admire the human form regardless of the gender. I suppose that puts me squarely in the bi-sexual catagory even though the admiration has no sexual connotation what so ever. It is an admiration of beauty not "oh boy, I wanna get me some."

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Yes. Most of the people who know me beyond the casual hello, are aware of my non-sexuality. I've even encountered a few friends who responded with "You know, that sounds an a lot like me." Education is our best tool!

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get marrried? Yes, because it was what was expected of at the time. It didn't work out for all the obvious reasons and some less obvious ones. There are truths within a marriage...his and hers. Somewhere in the middle lie the facts.

9. Do you have or want children? I have a lovely daughter who is the product of the afforementioned marriage. She is 21 and still my pride and joy. I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything in the world. I also foster and have adopted a houseful of special needs cats, so my maternal instincts have never been in question.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Yes. I enjoy a wide variety of friends both on and off line. I'm active in community theater and have a room mate. I'm a great hugger, enjoy cuddling when in the mood as well as the occassional spontanious peck on the cheek. My room mate is a sexual, but understands and respects my non-sexuality. We are as close as two people can be without sexual contact. If I had to define our relationship, I'd have to say we are very close friends.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Perhaps when I was younger and didn't know that asexuality existed outside of the laboratory. Though for the most part, I'd have to say no...it's never troubled me to any great extent. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was nothing wrong with the way I felt or didn't feel.

12. Do you date? Not in the classical sense. Infact, I avoid doing so. It not difficult when you're 48 yrs old. And I tire of the explanations and "cures". Sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lay.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Maybe I dislike sex because it brings back unpleasant memories of traumatic sexual events. Maybe it's because I have a hormone imbalance. Maybe it's a combination of many factors. I don't know. I look at it this way ... since it is not currently affecting my life adversely, I don't feel the need to investigate the "whys" and "hows" at this time.

Got this today from a Buddhist mailing list, it seems very relevant to current discussions.

Find a friend to be with and stay in that relationship, avoiding the dangers of hurting others. Stay with your friend and become mindful and joyful. If you can find no friend, then go on by yourself. Better to carry on alone than live with the foolish. Journey on alone, unconcerned, working no evil, like the bull elephant in the jungle.

-Sunnata Vagga

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

Not sure if this is just for fun, or if it will help anyone, but:

1. Name: Therese

2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 49

4. Location: North Hollywood, CA

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes, intermittently from 18 to approximately age 25.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Female.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? No, as I have not made up my mind on this matter.

8. Are you married? No.

9. Do you have or want children? I thought about being a foster parent for troubled teens.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? I like hugs and cuddling. I prefer to keep my clothes on.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Yes, somewhat. I don't like being more "different" than I already am in other ways.

12. Do you date? No, but I wouldn't mind going out for lunch once in awhile. I don't have any lunch buddies here though.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? NO. I started deliberately in order to avoid HIV, but it's gotten to be my lifestyle. Someone else suggested I might be assexual because apparently, they thought that someone who was sexual wouldn't be able to maintain non-sexuality for so long. I had one boyfriend long ago and even though the sex was OK for him, it wasn't enough to make me want to marry him, and I felt I could have used a dildo just as effectively. I doubt there are any medical reasons, but psychologically it's possible that I wasn't socialized properly during my teens because I had too much trouble with kids my age teasing me for me to want to hang out with anyone. During that time I spent most of my free time reading.

It's not one of the questions, but I am also a mystic and find most religious services extremely boring with too much ritual and talk, and not enough spiritual practice. Since such services are apparently where many people find others in a safe environment, I think this is another reason I am not with anyone...I find bars to be the wrong place entirely.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

I've had people refer to me as Mr. Potatohead because potatoes reproduce asexually. Then I have to explain that I'm talking about the asexual sexual orientation and not amoebas. Still others look down and say, "War injury huh?" And this was all within the last few months. There is nothing wrong with me physically or mentally. I was born this way and I don't have a mental illness nor do I need a shrink. I can't speak for everyone, but that's the way it is for me.

I too have had people suggest that I become a priest. I'm not even catholic. I've actually even considered it for a few nanoseconds.

Dennis.

Has anyone ever tried to talk to a therapist about this?

Cause I did.. He wasn't even capable of imagining life without sex. He treated me like a freak. He told me I might consider being a nun because that's what society did to people like me. And he got mad at me and started making some weird analogy about how he doesn't like people who don't eat their spinach.

Hi Mary,

I'm not exactly a female virgin, but isn't the pap test used to detect cervical cancer? Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but they discovered that cervical cancer was caused by an STD virus. They now have a vaccine. But since you are not sexually active, you shouldn't need to worry about STD's or the virus or cervical cancer or pap smears. I would seriously recommend that you see a different doctor. One that knows a little bit more about cervical cancer and the vaccine.

Dennis.

I do have an additional question but only to the females on this list that are virgins, Do you have problems with pap tests? They are so uncomfortable for me that I have stopped having them. Last test after screaming in pain for the whole test I made up my mind "no more". My doctor is not happy with that decision but I will not go through that pain again.

In a message dated 6/18/2006 11:46:19 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, rmarysplace@... writes:

Not me!!!! ;-) I love 1 or 2 snoring dog bodies in bed with me every morning. Any other animal people on this list? Mary

ME! ME! ME! My dogs share my bed with me every night. My girl likes to sleep at the foot of the bed and my boy likes to be spooned. They are such babies! I love then so much. They bring me incredible joy and laughter.

We'll, what one female friend told me, "If you want to get laid, put an ad on MATCH.COM." She was listed there and was speaking from experience. I hadn't told her I was asexual because I didn't know that's what it was at the time. I think she probably thinks I'm gay or something. Of course, I never put an ad on that service.

I'm always looking for functional friends and not liabilities. When I have to take time out of my schedule to take someone to the movies, to me, that is counterproductive. But at the same time, I wouldn't mind helping a friend move furiture or fix their computer.

For the most part, most of my friends are males. I don't need to explain my sexuality to them because they aren't expecting anything like that from me. Females are much harder to deal with. They can make a hetero male do anything by smiling just right. Essentially, a slave. They don't like me in general because that tail wiggling crap has no effect on me.

I had a roommate in college. I swore that I'd rather live in a car than have to live with another roommate. He was hetero and had several simultaneous girlfriends. He was constantly having sex with them. One was even married to another guy. I'm sure it was always safe sex because he had more rubber in there than goodyear. When they were at it, they ignored the fact that I was there. Then there was the constant arguing about everthing else. I eventually got a 1br place that was a lot more expensive, but it was worth it. I was soooo happy about not having a roommate.

Dennis.

Hi Dennis, I've never done a personal ad and likely never will either. I do want a roommate or a couple of them. I prefer someone to just be around the house so to speak. I don't want anyone sleeping in the same room with me. This can keep me awake. Sleeping in the same bed with someone who is NONsexual is still very uncomfortable. My preference is for roomies I enjoy a lot, am relaxed around, unobtrusive and sleep in their own room. Oh yeah, quiet too. LOL

I don't like anyone flirting with me either.

Jen

Hi Mary,

I'm not exactly a female virgin, but isn't the pap test used to detect cervical cancer? Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but they discovered that cervical cancer was caused by an STD virus. They now have a vaccine. But since you are not sexually active, you shouldn't need to worry about STD's or the virus or cervical cancer or pap smears. I would seriously recommend that you see a different doctor. One that knows a little bit more about cervical cancer and the vaccine.

A baby can be exposed to HPV from their mother during vaginal birth, so even women with no exposure to sexual intercourse should still have Pap tests on occasion, but it might not be needed as often. I would suggest a frank discussion with your doctor. Also, a female doctor might be motivated to do a better job than a male doctor, since they understand on a personal level what it's like. If there's a gay clinic in your area, they might have someone more knowledgeable about your particular needs because some lesbians are likely to have similar physiological reactions.

The CDC has a lot of information on HPV here: http://www.cdc.gov/STD/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

I love sleeping with my 2 cats. If I could sleep with a dog without it causing Asthma, I would invite a dog too. If I had my way, I'd sleep with lots of different animals. I adore animals to no end.

Jen

In a message dated 6/18/2006 11:46:19 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, rmarysplace@... writes: Not me!!!! ;-) I love 1 or 2 snoring dog bodies in bed with me every morning. Any other animal people on this list? Mary ME! ME! ME! My dogs share my bed with me every night. My girl likes to sleep at the foot of the bed and my boy likes to be spooned. They are such babies! I love then so much. They bring me incredible joy and laughter.

Please cut and paste the questions, erase my answers, and add your own.

1. Name: Jen

2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 50

4. Location: Northern California

5. Have you ever had sex? This is an invasive question that I would not ask anyone.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Doesn't matter. I need to feel comfortable and safe.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Actually at my age I now fall into the "old maid" category. Also at my age there are many widows out there so there is little interest in my peer group. Hey the older you get the easier it is. Also, sometimes if the topic arises.

8. Are you married? No & never have been. For most people this requires bumping uglies and I refuse.

9. Do you have or want children? I want children or at least one child. I would prefer a male child. I am considering doing fost-adopt or at least applying for it.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? You bet! I don't want to be touched by just anyone though. I do love affection or shared human contact that has NO sexual content. I even enjoy romance but not sexual energy.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? No not personally but it does bother me that it has caused me to be alone most of the time.

12. Do you date? ROFL, no. I wouldn't date anyone unless I was sure I was dating a non-sexual.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? It could be ruled in or out and it doesn't really matter to me. I'm simply not having a bump ugly session in my life. Yuck! I'd much rather do something pleasurable and fun.

Hi Nicole, My physician knows I'm Asexual and I've never been treated poorly by her. I know she is a sexually active woman who is now married with one child.

I've mentioned it to a psychologist in the past and it wasn't any big deal.

Jen

Has anyone ever tried to talk to a therapist about this?

Cause I did.. He wasn't even capable of imagining life without sex. He treated me like a freak. He told me I might consider being a nun because that's what society did to people like me. And he got mad at me and started making some weird analogy about how he doesn't like people who don't eat their spinach.

(Trained professional. Apparently I sure know how to pick em.)

Has anyone ever talked to anybody who doesn't consider you sick? If possible, I'd love to hear some nice stories about how we got treated like humans. I am not getting this experience regarding this issue very often.

Nicole

Please cut and paste the questions, erase my answers, and add your own. 1. Name: Why

2. Gender: male

3. Age: 47

4. Location: australia

5. Have you ever had sex? YES 6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? women 7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? NO 8. Are you married? was married 9. Do you have or want children? i have one child 10. Do you like ANY human contact? You bet! . I do love affection or shared human contact . I even enjoy romance

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? YES and it does bother me that it has caused me to be ALL ALONE most of the time.

12. Do you date? NO

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex?NO

i want to know any single girls in this group who would be interested in a really nice guy ..cute...every thing going for him including asexuality...

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Jim, I sure understand what you are saying.

Jen

On 18 Jun 2006, Mary Reese said:

Not me!!!! ;-) I love 1 or 2 snoring dog bodies in bed with me every morning. Any other animal people on this list?

Meeeeee! I had to get a queen-size futon so there would still be a little bit of room for me, after the three large dogs (now up to four) and anywhere from 1-4 cats made themselves comfortable. (I don't like them snoring, though. When they snore, I shove them until they stop.) Human housemates would be able to offer some things that dogs and cat's can't, such as intelligent conversation and help with housework. But I wouldn't want to share my bed or even my bedroom with a human.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

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Hi Mary, who ever did that check up is an ass.

There are child speculums that can be used rather than an adult one on a non-sexual person.

Jen

Hi Mary,

I'm not exactly a female virgin, but isn't the pap test used to detect cervical cancer? Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but they discovered that cervical cancer was caused by an STD virus. They now have a vaccine. But since you are not sexually active, you shouldn't need to worry about STD's or the virus or cervical cancer or pap smears. I would seriously recommend that you see a different doctor. One that knows a little bit more about cervical cancer and the vaccine.

Dennis.

On 17 Jun 2005, 08:09 +00:00, Mary Reese said:

I do have an additional question but only to the females on this list that are virgins, Do you have problems with pap tests? They are so uncomfortable for me that I have stopped having them. Last test after screaming in pain for the whole test I made up my mind "no more". My doctor is not happy with that decision but I will not go through that pain again.