Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
On , Palatinus said:I don't think I have had problems in that matter.
I haven't, except once when the monsters who used to live next door made a false accusation. Fortunately for me, they weren't very bright monsters. They accused me of secretively videotaping their children through my window (which, in fact, wouldn't even have been illegal as long as the children were outside in plain view), but they made the accusation at a time when I had three or four houseguests and hadn't been home alone without alibi witnesses in about a week, plus I didn't even have a working video camera in the house, so nothing came of it.
Never had anyone ask if I'm married when I was doing counseling internships with children or caring for special-needs children after school. It wasn't an issue when I signed up for foster parent training. People at Autreat know I'm single (also know I'm asexual), and parents were enthusiastic about my evening discussion sessions for children.
My 'gang' is now largely formed of couples (it was not the situation 2 years ago) so I started feeling very bad. You know, couples go out together; if some couples arrange something like that, you can't invite singles.
Why not?
Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org
bad. You know, couples go out together; if some couples arrange something like that, you can't invite singles.
Why not?
because of said 'Singles don't get no respect' issue
Yahoo!; (spam); Yahoo! Mail
http://login.yahoo.com/config/mail?.intl=gr
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
On , Palatinus said:I don't think I have had problems in that matter.
I haven't, except once when the monsters who used to live next door made a false accusation. Fortunately for me, they weren't very bright monsters. They accused me of secretively videotaping their children through my window (which, in fact, wouldn't even have been illegal as long as the children were outside in plain view), but they made the accusation at a time when I had three or four houseguests and hadn't been home alone without alibi witnesses in about a week, plus I didn't even have a working video camera in the house, so nothing came of it.
Never had anyone ask if I'm married when I was doing counseling internships with children or caring for special-needs children after school. It wasn't an issue when I signed up for foster parent training. People at Autreat know I'm single (also know I'm asexual), and parents were enthusiastic about my evening discussion sessions for children.
My 'gang' is now largely formed of couples (it was not the situation 2 years ago) so I started feeling very bad. You know, couples go out together; if some couples arrange something like that, you can't invite singles.
Why not?
Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org
I haven't, except once when the monsters who used to live next door made a false accusation. Fortunately for me, they weren't very bright monsters. They accused me of secretively videotaping their children through my window (which, in fact, wouldn't even have been illegal as long as the children were outside in plain view), but they made the accusation at a
Its kind of like single guys have to be part time lawyers and know all the laws and case law. I have video surveillance cameras all around my house. They're not there to video little kids, they're there to catch crooks trying to rob me. I have to do whatever I can to protect myself. If some little kid runs down the street naked and my surveillance camera catches it, its the kids problem and not mine.
OTOH, to give you an idea how the laws are actually now being written to screw single guys, if you look at Florida's child molestation laws, you'll see blatant discrimination against single guys. For example, if a married guy who has kids sticks his finger into a 10 year old girl's vagina in a sexual manner, that's legal! But if a childless single guy simply pats a fully clothed 10 year old girl on the butt in an affectionate manner, he is guilty of lewd assault on a minor under 12. Not only that, but the penalty is 40 years in prison and permanent placement on the state's sexual predator list.
That list, BTW, was originally intended for people of all genders who really were sexual predators. Pinching a little girl's butt may be inappropriate, but it does not make the guy a sexual predator nor does it warrant a 40 year prison term. Yet the law is clear.
But from an early age, guys have been put down by society as being worthless. I remember in the 60's and early 70's when I was a kid, the YMCA and most schools required all males to swim totally naked. Girls were required to wear an ugly one piece suit, but a suit none the less. I asked why the difference and I was told it was because "Boys had nothing to show". I may have only been 8, but I had seen my girlfriend's vagina and I knew that what I had showing wasn't "nothing" especially compared to her. In fact, a girl's reproductive organs are all internal and don't show at all! I liked swimming naked, but I was, and still am, offended that society (it was more than one person) would tell little boys they have nothing of any consequence down there.
Dennis.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
Wow, what a relationship. Congratulations on getting out of it. There are nice, non-sexual men around. I hope you find a good lover, if you are looking for one.
Dapp58@... said:all i can recommend is dont do this for very long- i did it for 23 yrs and it tore me down, made me an anxiety ridden mess ,and depressed, it made every aspect in my life different as i was always trying to avoid the sex act.......he is now gone and simple things like changing without locking myself in the bathroom. or looking to see where he was before entering rooms is now in the past and i feel FREE!! i thought i could handle it and i was wrong
Where do I find these asexual men? Debra I can not even fathom that-aren't all guys out for the same thing? Debra
DEBRA (Who Else?)
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
On , Jim Sinclair said:I haven't, except once when the monsters who used to live next door made a false accusation. Fortunately for me, they weren't very bright monsters. They accused me of secretively videotaping their children through my window (which, in fact, wouldn't even have been illegal as long as the children were outside in plain view), but they made the accusation at a
Its kind of like single guys have to be part time lawyers and know all the laws and case law. I have video surveillance cameras all around my house. They're not there to video little kids, they're there to catch crooks trying to rob me. I have to do whatever I can to protect myself. If some little kid runs down the street naked and my surveillance camera catches it, its the kids problem and not mine.
OTOH, to give you an idea how the laws are actually now being written to screw single guys, if you look at Florida's child molestation laws, you'll see blatant discrimination against single guys. For example, if a married guy who has kids sticks his finger into a 10 year old girl's vagina in a sexual manner, that's legal! But if a childless single guy simply pats a fully clothed 10 year old girl on the butt in an affectionate manner, he is guilty of lewd assault on a minor under 12. Not only that, but the penalty is 40 years in prison and permanent placement on the state's sexual predator list.
That list, BTW, was originally intended for people of all genders who really were sexual predators. Pinching a little girl's butt may be inappropriate, but it does not make the guy a sexual predator nor does it warrant a 40 year prison term. Yet the law is clear.
But from an early age, guys have been put down by society as being worthless. I remember in the 60's and early 70's when I was a kid, the YMCA and most schools required all males to swim totally naked. Girls were required to wear an ugly one piece suit, but a suit none the less. I asked why the difference and I was told it was because "Boys had nothing to show". I may have only been 8, but I had seen my girlfriend's vagina and I knew that what I had showing wasn't "nothing" especially compared to her. In fact, a girl's reproductive organs are all internal and don't show at all! I liked swimming naked, but I was, and still am, offended that society (it was more than one person) would tell little boys they have nothing of any consequence down there.
Dennis.
Dennis Hawkins wrote:
For example, if a married guy who has kids sticks his finger into a 10 year old girl's vagina in a sexual manner, that's legal! But if a childless single guy simply pats a fully clothed 10 year old girl on the butt in an affectionate manner, he is guilty of lewd assault on a minor under 12.
Okay -- now that law is *unconstitutional*. Of course -- for that to matter, you might need to have a good lawyer to *prove* it. But it's unconstitutional -- as it blatantly violates the 14th Amendmenent - Equal Protection under the Law.
That list, BTW, was originally intended for people of all genders who really were sexual predators. Pinching a little girl's butt may be inappropriate, but it does not make the guy a sexual predator nor does it warrant a 40 year prison term. Yet the law is clear.
So is the 14th Amendment -- but you'd need a good enough lawyer for that to matter.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
Where do I find these asexual men? Debra I can not even fathom that-aren't all guys out for the same thing? Debra
DEBRA (Who Else?)
We are all sitting right here in your INBOX.
Dennis.
Where do I find these asexual men? Debra I can not even fathom that-aren't all guys out for the same thing? Debra
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
Dennis Hawkins wrote:
For example, if a married guy who has kids sticks his finger into a 10 year old girl's vagina in a sexual manner, that's legal! But if a childless single guy simply pats a fully clothed 10 year old girl on the butt in an affectionate manner, he is guilty of lewd assault on a minor under 12.
Okay -- now that law is *unconstitutional*. Of course -- for that to matter, you might need to have a good lawyer to *prove* it. But it's unconstitutional -- as it blatantly violates the 14th Amendmenent - Equal Protection under the Law.
That list, BTW, was originally intended for people of all genders who really were sexual predators. Pinching a little girl's butt may be inappropriate, but it does not make the guy a sexual predator nor does it warrant a 40 year prison term. Yet the law is clear.
So is the 14th Amendment -- but you'd need a good enough lawyer for that to matter.
The laws are filled with stuff like that. Take statutory rape for example. It is against the law for a 16 year old to fall in love with a 12 year old and have consentual sex. If caught, the 16 year old is charged under statutory rape laws and also placed on the sexual predator list for the rest of his life.
Here is the interesting part, suppose the 12 year old LOOKS like a 16 year old and told the real 16 year old that they are 16 also and produces a fake driver's license supporting said claim. Florida law says that such evidence is not admissable and the jury would not be allowed to know about it. It would make all the difference. Yet the law is geared to screwing (usually) the single guy. Although lately, I have heard of a few single women getting screwed by this one.
Dennis.
Dennis Hawkins wrote:
For example, if a married guy who has kids sticks his finger into a 10 year old girl's vagina in a sexual manner, that's legal! But if a childless single guy simply pats a fully clothed 10 year old girl on the butt in an affectionate manner, he is guilty of lewd assault on a minor under 12.
Okay -- now that law is *unconstitutional*. Of course -- for that to matter, you might need to have a good lawyer to *prove* it. But it's unconstitutional -- as it blatantly violates the 14th Amendmenent - Equal Protection under the Law.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
The laws are filled with stuff like that. Take statutory rape for example. It is against the law for a 16 year old to fall in love with a 12 year old and have consentual sex. If caught, the 16 year old is charged under statutory rape laws and also placed on the sexual predator list for the rest of his life.
Here is the interesting part, suppose the 12 year old LOOKS like a 16 year old and told the real 16 year old that they are 16 also and produces a fake driver's license supporting said claim. Florida law says that such evidence is not admissable and the jury would not be allowed to know about it. It would make all the difference. Yet the law is geared to screwing (usually) the single guy. Although lately, I have heard of a few single women getting screwed by this one.
Dennis.
On , Adam Ophir Shapira said:Dennis Hawkins wrote:
For example, if a married guy who has kids sticks his finger into a 10 year old girl's vagina in a sexual manner, that's legal! But if a childless single guy simply pats a fully clothed 10 year old girl on the butt in an affectionate manner, he is guilty of lewd assault on a minor under 12.
Okay -- now that law is *unconstitutional*. Of course -- for that to matter, you might need to have a good lawyer to *prove* it. But it's unconstitutional -- as it blatantly violates the 14th Amendmenent - Equal Protection under the Law.
Dennis Hawkins wrote:
Here is the interesting part, suppose the 12 year old LOOKS like a 16 year old and told the real 16 year old that they are 16 also and produces a fake driver's license supporting said claim. Florida law says that such evidence is not admissable and the jury would not be allowed to know about it. It would make all the difference. Yet the law is geared to screwing (usually) the single guy. Although lately, I have heard of a few single women getting screwed by this one.
If there were any justice --- this aspect of the law would be overturned.
Yes -- it is reasonable to tell a 16 year old to restrain zirself against a 12-year-old --- but it is *not* reasonable to make person A responsible for person B going out of the way to implement deception.
In this case (unlike the previous Florida thing mentioned on this list) there's nothing currently in the Constitution that I can think of that would make this unconstitutional. So it might not be unconstitutional --- but it's still unjust.
People shouldn't have to live in fear of being held responsible should they be tricked into doing something illegal despite reasonable effort on their own part to *avoid* being duped --- and "reasonable effort" should not have to include walking on egg-shells their whole life.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
June,
I am curious about your 16 year old. Is he normal in terms of sexuality, or does he exhibit any signs of asexuality? I'm just trying to figure out if there is any heredity link.
I don't have any kids myself, but all of my nieces and nephews seem to be heterosexual. I have always encouraged them to be interested in the opposite sex and as far as I know they have. My nephew just has his second kid and my niece is getting married soon.
Dennis.
On , junemidura said:I was married and I have two kids (and according to my 16 year old, I didn't have sex then either, I was artificially inseminated by aliens with the fathers sperm - once you get to know me better you will see that we view the world with humor)
Greetings Dennis!
My 16 year old is currently displaying "normal" teenage tendacies and has to date only dated males (she is female). Not for lack of opportunity, one of her best friends in bi-curious and I have only seen "friend" levels of intimacy between them. I have also caught her and her boyfriend in compromising positions so I don't believe there is faking. Our family is very accepting and I don't think she would feel intimidated or scared to not expect the world to accept her for how she is.
Now, my younger daughter is only 9 and just starting the puberty thing. I will have to let you know in a couple years how that is going!
As far as my family goes - immediate brothers and sisters - there are quite a few of us and we range from bi to a to hetero and probably back around again :)
June
June,
I am curious about your 16 year old. Is he normal in terms of sexuality, or does he exhibit any signs of asexuality? I'm just trying to figure out if there is any heredity link.
I don't have any kids myself, but all of my nieces and nephews seem to be heterosexual. I have always encouraged them to be interested in the opposite sex and as far as I know they have. My nephew just has his second kid and my niece is getting married soon.
Dennis.
On , junemidura said:I was married and I have two kids (and according to my 16 year old, I didn't have sex then either, I was artificially inseminated by aliens with the fathers sperm - once you get to know me better you will see that we view the world with humor)
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
We are all sitting right here in your INBOX.
Dennis.
On , DEBRA WOODS said:Where do I find these asexual men? Debra I can not even fathom that-aren't all guys out for the same thing? Debra
Duh. I get that now. I guess I just can not even imagine a man who is asexual. never crossed my mind even though you guys have been answering my emails. Anyone available in Manor/austin area. 30-48?? LOL...
Debra
DEBRA (Who Else?)
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
We are all sitting right here in your INBOX.
Dennis.
On , DEBRA WOODS said:Where do I find these asexual men? Debra I can not even fathom that-aren't all guys out for the same thing? Debra
I am looking for an asexual man for an LTR leading to marriage. I'm 50, attractive,educated, senstive, caring, live in Denver, CO. Write if you are interestd
We are all sitting right here in your INBOX.
Dennis.
On , DEBRA WOODS said:Where do I find these asexual men? Debra I can not even fathom that-aren't all guys out for the same thing? Debra
Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
Duh. I get that now. I guess I just can not even imagine a man who is asexual. never crossed my mind even though you guys have been answering my emails. Anyone available in Manor/austin area. 30-48?? LOL...
Debra
DEBRA (Who Else?)
I noticed that there are different kinds of asexuals. Some are just exactly like heteros except they don't want sex. But others are like me who don't want any romantic relationship at all. So even though I'm all MALE, I'm probably too asexual for the ladies here who are looking for romance.
However, I do know a great looking romantic type asexual male that lives in maine. I think he's about 30, white, thin, muscular build. If any of you ladies are the romantic type and live in Maine, I can probably set you up with him.
Dennis.
Duh. I get that now. I guess I just can not even imagine a man who is asexual. never crossed my mind even though you guys have been answering my emails. Anyone available in Manor/austin area. 30-48?? LOL...
Debra
Re: [SPAM] Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
I don't know about chat rooms, I tend to stay away from them. What exactly do you mean by "role playing"?
BTW, to the rest of the group, I'm one of those asexual MALES about 43 and I live near Palm Beach, FL. Being asexual, I'm not looking for a relationship, but friends would be nice. I wouldn't mind meeting asexual ladies, but I'm not going out on any dates.
Dennis.
I know this isn't AVEN, but do any of you know why, when you go to their chat room, the only people there are role players?
-------Original Message-------
- From
- karen johnson
- Date
- 07/06/06 15:29:55
- To
- [email protected]
- Subject
- [SPAM] Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
I am looking for an asexual man for an LTR leading to marriage. I'm 50, attractive,educated, senstive, caring, live in Denver, CO. Write if you are interestd
Dennis Hawkins said:We are all sitting right here in your INBOX.
Dennis.
On , DEBRA WOODS said:Where do I find these asexual men? Debra I can not even fathom that-aren't all guys out for the same thing? Debra
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
Greetings Dennis!
My 16 year old is currently displaying "normal" teenage tendacies and has to date only dated males (she is female). Not for lack of opportunity, one of her best friends in bi-curious and I have only seen "friend" levels of intimacy between them. I have also caught her and her boyfriend in compromising positions so I don't believe there is faking. Our family is very accepting and I don't think she would feel intimidated or scared to not expect the world to accept her for how she is.
Now, my younger daughter is only 9 and just starting the puberty thing. I will have to let you know in a couple years how that is going!
As far as my family goes - immediate brothers and sisters - there are quite a few of us and we range from bi to a to hetero and probably back around again :)
June
Dennis Hawkins said:June,
I am curious about your 16 year old. Is he normal in terms of sexuality, or does he exhibit any signs of asexuality? I'm just trying to figure out if there is any heredity link.
I don't have any kids myself, but all of my nieces and nephews seem to be heterosexual. I have always encouraged them to be interested in the opposite sex and as far as I know they have. My nephew just has his second kid and my niece is getting married soon.
Dennis.
On , junemidura said:I was married and I have two kids (and according to my 16 year old, I didn't have sex then either, I was artificially inseminated by aliens with the fathers sperm - once you get to know me better you will see that we view the world with humor)
Thanks for replying. I'm glad that she seems hetero. That's always a good thing in my book. From what I hear, the biological offspring of gays and lesbians are no more prone to homosexuality than children of hetero parents. Based on the two responces here to my question, it raises hope that asexuality is not passed to children.
Still, when it comes to parental relationships with children, the ideal situation is where a teen feels comfortable enough with their parents to talk about sex issues without embarasment. In other words, you want them to tell YOU that they are planning on having sex before they tell all their friends. Saddly, such parental relationships are rare.
Dennis.
Greetings Dennis!
My 16 year old is currently displaying "normal" teenage tendacies and has to date only dated males (she is female). Not for lack of opportunity, one of her best friends in bi-curious and I have only seen "friend" levels of intimacy between them. I have also caught her and her boyfriend in compromising positions so I don't believe there is faking. Our family is very accepting and I don't think she would feel intimidated or scared to not expect the world to accept her for how she is.
Now, my younger daughter is only 9 and just starting the puberty thing. I will have to let you know in a couple years how that is going!
As far as my family goes - immediate brothers and sisters - there are quite a few of us and we range from bi to a to hetero and probably back around again :)
June
Dennis Hawkins said:June,
I am curious about your 16 year old. Is he normal in terms of sexuality, or does he exhibit any signs of asexuality? I'm just trying to figure out if there is any heredity link.
I don't have any kids myself, but all of my nieces and nephews seem to be heterosexual. I have always encouraged them to be interested in the opposite sex and as far as I know they have. My nephew just has his second kid and my niece is getting married soon.
Dennis.
On , junemidura said:I was married and I have two kids (and according to my 16 year old, I didn't have sex then either, I was artificially inseminated by aliens with the fathers sperm - once you get to know me better you will see that we view the world with humor)
Yahoo! Groups Links
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
Duh. I get that now. I guess I just can not even imagine a man who is asexual. never crossed my mind even though you guys have been answering my emails. Anyone available in Manor/austin area. 30-48?? LOL...
Debra
DEBRA (Who Else?)
If by Austin you mean Texas then I live in south Austin but am five years too young for your specified age group.
Duh. I get that now. I guess I just can not even imagine a man who is asexual. never crossed my mind even though you guys have been answering my emails. Anyone available in Manor/austin area. 30-48?? LOL...
Debra
DEBRA (Who Else?)
Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1/min.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
They have indeed. I personally know of a girl who was charged with statutory rape under Wisconsin law. In this particular case, the boy was 15 and the girl was 17. No one seemed to care that this boy and girl were a couple until she got pregnant and opted to have an abortion. It was only then that his parents decided to press charges against her.
- From
- Dennis Hawkins
- To
- [email protected]
- Sent
- Thursday, July 06, 2006 11:09 AM
- Subject
- Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
The laws are filled with stuff like that. Take statutory rape for example. It is against the law for a 16 year old to fall in love with a 12 year old and have consentual sex. If caught, the 16 year old is charged under statutory rape laws and also placed on the sexual predator list for the rest of his life.
Here is the interesting part, suppose the 12 year old LOOKS like a 16 year old and told the real 16 year old that they are 16 also and produces a fake driver's license supporting said claim. Florida law says that such evidence is not admissable and the jury would not be allowed to know about it. It would make all the difference. Yet the law is geared to screwing (usually) the single guy. Although lately, I have heard of a few single women getting screwed by this one.
Dennis.
Dennis Hawkins wrote:
For example, if a married guy who has kids sticks his finger into a 10 year old girl's vagina in a sexual manner, that's legal! But if a childless single guy simply pats a fully clothed 10 year old girl on the butt in an affectionate manner, he is guilty of lewd assault on a minor under 12.
Okay -- now that law is *unconstitutional*. Of course -- for that to matter, you might need to have a good lawyer to *prove* it. But it's unconstitutional -- as it blatantly violates the 14th Amendmenent - Equal Protection under the Law.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
For one thing --- I wasn't "blaming women" -- nor was I suggesting that men *don't* need to take responsibility for male freedom.
But let's take the following things into account.
(1) Part of the very *regime* of repression against men is that men are considered (as you know) "unmanly" if we complain. Before this isn't taken care of, you are basically asking us to pull ourselves up by bootstraps that the majority of us don't have.
(2) I wasn't criticizing the fact that the feminist movement focuses *primarily* on women's issues. What I was criticizing is the fact that many schools (though not all of them) focus so *exclusively* on women's issues -- that they completely *belittle* men's issues -- or even write them off entirely.
(3) You mention that every step of the way, as women make progress towards equality -- there's a strong opposition to the progress. Have you considered that if the movement to equality were a bit less lop-sided, and there were a bit more in it for men too --- that that might help take the wind out of the opposition -- and intice more people to join up and *join* the march for equality?
tlshell@... wrote:
Men need to take responsibility to free themselves. There were some beginnings back in the day, when some men would go to some kind of bonding groups specifically to "reclaim their male identities" but I think it failed because men still didn't really "get" the whole freedom thing. The issue of how to give back some power to women while not relegating men to the back seat so to speak, is not an easy one, and it seems to me that the "old guard" never really wanted to participate because they thought it would turn them into sissies or something.
So don't blame it on the women. We had to work hard to get to where we are now, and still it seems that conservatives want to turn back the clock on all that. If you think it's bad now, wait and see if the Republicans win the White House _again_ and then you might have reason to cry.
Your best weapon is to vote, and vote consistently in every election no matter how small.
For one thing --- I wasn't "blaming women" -- nor was I suggesting that men *don't* need to take responsibility for male freedom.
But let's take the following things into account.
(1) Part of the very *regime* of repression against men is that men are considered (as you know) "unmanly" if we complain. Before this isn't taken care of, you are basically asking us to pull ourselves up by bootstraps that the majority of us don't have.
FWIW, it appears to me that most women don't go for feminism either. Many prefer to have all the benefits of patriarchy as long as their man treats them reasonably well. Others come from a very traditional background and are not culturally comfortable with such a break. So I don't think this is a good excuse.
(2) I wasn't criticizing the fact that the feminist movement focuses *primarily* on women's issues. What I was criticizing is the fact that many schools (though not all of them) focus so *exclusively* on women's issues -- that they completely *belittle* men's issues -- or even write them off entirely.
This is a good point. The lack of discussion of males being raped is an egregious example. I am not sure what the current status quo of this is, but it was a problem when I was growing up. (I'm going to be 50 this year, so my info is probably long out of date.)
(3) You mention that every step of the way, as women make progress towards equality -- there's a strong opposition to the progress. Have you considered that if the movement to equality were a bit less lop-sided, and there were a bit more in it for men too --- that that might help take the wind out of the opposition -- and intice more people to join up and *join* the march for equality?
It's always going to be a tug of war. It is going on now also with white people vs. non-white people, as the power dynamic is too lopsided. It's probably one of the underlying reasons for terrorist attacks, so it is a serious issue.
However, power has to be shared by the dominant party. If this doesn't happen, then non-dominant party doesn't have any way other than force to get their way.
I think recognizing that men (and people in general) have issues with giving up power would be a good idea, but if we can't even discuss politics and religion amicably, how do you expect us to share on discussions about power, which is even more basic? The fact that you even suggest it shows that women (and others in similar situations) have a lot more work to do in making their case for equality.
Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...
Questionaire
A few weeks ago, someone posted this questionaire to the list so that we could all fill it out and get to know each other better. I thught it was a really good idea. I am reposting it with the hopes that more people will fill it out. To see what others wrote about themselves, check out the group archives.
Send this back to the group with the appropriate answers.
1. Name/age:
2. Gender:
3. Race:
4. Geographic Location:
5. Have you ever had sex? (leave blank if the subject bothers you)
6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to?
7. Are you open about your non-sexuality?
8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? Do you crave non-sexual romance?
9. Do you have or want children?
10. Do you like ANY human contact?
11. Are you bothered by your asexuality?
12. Do you date or desire companionship? Do you like to kiss?
13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex?
14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children?
15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality?
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Marriage going sour
I noticed that there are different kinds of asexuals. Some are just exactly like heteros except they don't want sex. But others are like me who don't want any romantic relationship at all. So even though I'm all MALE, I'm probably too asexual for the ladies here who are looking for romance.
However, I do know a great looking romantic type asexual male that lives in maine. I think he's about 30, white, thin, muscular build. If any of you ladies are the romantic type and live in Maine, I can probably set you up with him.
Dennis.
On , DEBRA WOODS said:Duh. I get that now. I guess I just can not even imagine a man who is asexual. never crossed my mind even though you guys have been answering my emails. Anyone available in Manor/austin area. 30-48?? LOL...
Debra
So Dennis. Do you like lady friends? Would you ever hook-up in a relationship with a female as a long-term pal w/o romance? Or do you just prefer male company as far as friends go? What exactly does romance mean anyway (flowers, gifts, paid for dates,etc) or do you not care for any of the physical stuff like holding hands, kissing, just the touch of one another? Just curious. If its too personal I totally understand. I am new to this and just trying to feel around and understand the concept. Thanks so much, Debra
DEBRA (Who Else?)
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Singles don't get no respect.
On , Adam Ophir Shapira said:For one thing --- I wasn't "blaming women" -- nor was I suggesting that men *don't* need to take responsibility for male freedom.
But let's take the following things into account.
(1) Part of the very *regime* of repression against men is that men are considered (as you know) "unmanly" if we complain. Before this isn't taken care of, you are basically asking us to pull ourselves up by bootstraps that the majority of us don't have.
FWIW, it appears to me that most women don't go for feminism either. Many prefer to have all the benefits of patriarchy as long as their man treats them reasonably well. Others come from a very traditional background and are not culturally comfortable with such a break. So I don't think this is a good excuse.
(2) I wasn't criticizing the fact that the feminist movement focuses *primarily* on women's issues. What I was criticizing is the fact that many schools (though not all of them) focus so *exclusively* on women's issues -- that they completely *belittle* men's issues -- or even write them off entirely.
This is a good point. The lack of discussion of males being raped is an egregious example. I am not sure what the current status quo of this is, but it was a problem when I was growing up. (I'm going to be 50 this year, so my info is probably long out of date.)
(3) You mention that every step of the way, as women make progress towards equality -- there's a strong opposition to the progress. Have you considered that if the movement to equality were a bit less lop-sided, and there were a bit more in it for men too --- that that might help take the wind out of the opposition -- and intice more people to join up and *join* the march for equality?
It's always going to be a tug of war. It is going on now also with white people vs. non-white people, as the power dynamic is too lopsided. It's probably one of the underlying reasons for terrorist attacks, so it is a serious issue.
However, power has to be shared by the dominant party. If this doesn't happen, then non-dominant party doesn't have any way other than force to get their way.
I think recognizing that men (and people in general) have issues with giving up power would be a good idea, but if we can't even discuss politics and religion amicably, how do you expect us to share on discussions about power, which is even more basic? The fact that you even suggest it shows that women (and others in similar situations) have a lot more work to do in making their case for equality.
Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...
tlshell@... wrote:
On , Adam Ophir Shapira said:(3) You mention that every step of the way, as women make progress towards equality -- there's a strong opposition to the progress. Have you considered that if the movement to equality were a bit less lop-sided, and there were a bit more in it for men too --- that that might help take the wind out of the opposition -- and intice more people to join up and *join* the march for equality?
It's always going to be a tug of war. It is going on now also with white people vs. non-white people, as the power dynamic is too lopsided. It's probably one of the underlying reasons for terrorist attacks, so it is a serious issue.
You're completely missing the point here.
You're thinking that men are in a great and wonderful position that has no pitfalls -- and that the only reason men object to giving up the privilege is that men are *used* to having the privilege. But that is not how it is.
Men *do* have considerable power --- but society also places certain *burdens* on men that require men to *rely* on said power.
For example -- you hear a lot about the need for equal pay for equal work. However - nobody seems to make much of a fuss about the fact that many women aren't even willing to *consider* dating a man who isn't more financially successful than she is.
Is it really a surprise that men are going to want more pay for the same work if the very ability to find companionship depends on it?
I believe men and women *should* be paid the same for doing the same job. But I also believe that the dating scene needs to be revised so that men's ability to find companionship doesn't hinge on it being otherwise.
However, power has to be shared by the dominant party. If this doesn't happen, then non-dominant party doesn't have any way other than force to get their way.
I think recognizing that men (and people in general) have issues with giving up power would be a good idea, but if we can't even discuss politics and religion amicably, how do you expect us to share on discussions about power, which is even more basic? The fact that you even suggest it shows that women (and others in similar situations) have a lot more work to do in making their case for equality.
What the heck?!?!
Just because I would dare suggest that there is a side of the equation that might be overlooked shows that the other side has a lot to go in making it's case?
That means that for you it is completely INCONCEIVABLE that I might just possibly have a POINT?
I'm not anti-equality. I am PRO-equality. But one-way equality isn't equality.
I fully agree that men DO need to share the power that traditionally was given just to men. But there's also a thing or two that women need to share as well. Even if those things can't be as easily broken down into numerical statistics -- such as how much one is paid for doing a certain job -- these things are still important for women to be willing to share with men if men are to share with women the traditionally-male power without being themselves left in the cold.