Haven for the Human Amoeba

How is it one can have a sex drive and not be sexually attracted?? A sex drive is simply a sexual attraction, yes? I assumed they're exactly the same thing, at least I can't possibly imagine how they'd be different or seperate..

ehartsay said:

this is my first time posting here.

I have a question, which is can you be asexual if you have a sex drive? I feel that I am asexual because I am NEVER sexuallyy attracted to anybody, any person, EVER

However I can, at certain times of the month, have a sex drive, on a physical level...

I rarely ever have a sex drive of any kind. But I'm not discounting the possibility that I could. I've come to the decision that I prefer calling myself "nonsexual" because I'm not completely asexual but am very close to the bottom of the triangle.

Lizzz

Sorry I haven't posted in such a long time, but I was so bussy that I couldn't keep up with all of the posts :-) I will make up for all that soon, Love, Geri

I don't know, but I consider myself asexual because I get more excitement watching "The Banana Splits" than the Playboy channel!

I rarely ever have a sex drive of any kind. But I'm not discounting the possibility that I could. I've come to the decision that I prefer calling myself "nonsexual" because I'm not completely asexual but am very close to the bottom of the triangle.

Lizzz

Hehe, I know alot of sexual people who'd say the same thing...

I don't know, but I consider myself asexual because I get more excitement watching "The Banana Splits" than the Playboy channel!

veggieheadliz said:

I rarely ever have a sex drive of any kind. But I'm not discounting the possibility that I could. I've come to the decision that I prefer calling myself "nonsexual" because I'm not completely asexual but am very close to the bottom of the triangle.

Lizzz

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Must be relying on completley different concepts and definitions of sex drive, sexuality, and horniness than any I've ever heard or used. Horniness, to me _is_ sexual attraction, and is a sex drive. They're one, inseperable. It'd be like me saying I'm green, but I'm never green. Hmm. Well I guess people can make their own definitions, which maybe I've done without knowing it, but that's some of the confusion here, I guess.

hi and welcome. I personally think that a person can be asexual and periodically have a sex drive. Women's hormones naturally fluxuat during the menstral cycle, and at times they reach a high enough level to produce a sex drive. But if this sex drive is not normally apart of your personality, I see no wrong in calling yourself asexual. I sometimes have a short lived drive that is even directed towards someone, but it's never strong enough to persue anything, and within a day it's gone.

ehartsay said:

this is my first time posting here.

I have a question, which is can you be asexual if you have a sex drive? I feel that I am asexual because I am NEVER sexuallyy attracted to anybody, any person, EVER

However I can, at certain times of the month, have a sex drive, on a physical level...

Hi.

Ok, I should have put "MY" in caps letters...

I'm pretty conscious that there are many different kinds of people - and I respect all these manifestations of love

this is just MY nature, I'm not trying to convert anyone...

But yes... I have troubles to get along with other people... the brazilians are too outgoing (I HATE that), and I DEMAND that if someone wants to talk to me, he/she must have a MINIMUM of inner life.

Thing is, when I talk about my 'sex drive', I am talking about something very physical, like i 'tenseness' down there, a bit of an annoying physical throbbing, that has no real connection to a desire to have sex with someone. I never get physical urges caused by any person, I don't get turned on by pictures of sexy people. I am attractd on an aesthetic level, although sometimes I feel like the pictures of so called 'sexual' people are really really ugly.

The only way I can describe it is, I would think for a guy to m-- terbate would feel good, and if it did he might sometimes for whatever hormonal reason have a slight urge to do it again, even if he was not physically attracted to any woman (or man, depending). Sort of an entirelly physical/hormonal thing without a true desire to have sex with anyone.

This teensy physical thing comes on at times when my chemical levels are out of whack (right before that time of the month) and when I am extremely stressed out.

Must be relying on completley different concepts and definitions of sex drive, sexuality, and horniness than any I've ever heard or used. Horniness, to me _is_ sexual attraction, and is a sex drive. They're one, inseperable. It'd be like me saying I'm green, but I'm never green. Hmm. Well I guess people can make their own definitions, which maybe I've done without knowing it, but that's some of the confusion here, I guess.

naissur9 said:

hi and welcome. I personally think that a person can be asexual and periodically have a sex drive. Women's hormones naturally fluxuat during the menstral cycle, and at times they reach a high enough level to produce a sex drive. But if this sex drive is not normally apart of your personality, I see no wrong in calling yourself asexual. I sometimes have a short lived drive that is even directed towards someone, but it's never strong enough to persue anything, and within a day it's gone.

ehartsay said:

this is my first time posting here.

I have a question, which is can you be asexual if you have a sex drive? I feel that I am asexual because I am NEVER sexuallyy attracted to anybody, any person, EVER

However I can, at certain times of the month, have a sex drive, on a physical level...

yes, i agree on the horniness, sex drive & attraction are the same. Perhaps i am using incorrect vocabulary. For me personally, when i say i'm experiencing a sex drive, i'm in this euphoric state where i think about getting closer to someone, kissing or maybe making out. I still don't think about having sex with them, but it isn't normal for me to even think about kissing etc. I sorta consider it a drive because of the euphoric feeling from the elivated levels of endorphins or dopamine in the brain.

Must be relying on completley different concepts and definitions of sex drive, sexuality, and horniness than any I've ever heard or used. Horniness, to me _is_ sexual attraction, and is a sex drive. They're one, inseperable. It'd be like me saying I'm green, but I'm never green. Hmm. Well I guess people can make their own definitions, which maybe I've done without knowing it, but that's some of the confusion here, I guess.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/vital/womanarefromvenus

My interview has finnally been published :-)!!!

Love, Geri

All about Asexuality at http://study.at/Amoeba

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http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/vital/firstperson That's the right one :-)

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I am 23 years old. I have no desire to have sex, or to be in a sexual relationship. I have never been sexually attracted to anyone, desired a relationship or had fantasies. I only have the slightest sexual impulse of complete physical nature on the day before my period, like a throb - I don't know if it has to do with sex. I am perfectly happy just being myself, with no need for sexuality, until someone asks me WHY I don't want to get involved with men (or women). I really can't answer, and feel a bit abnormal (although I am allready weird enough for 3). I think I am straight, but I have so little sexual feeling that I don't really know. Needless tosay I am a virgin. I don't really WANT sexuality.

Thing is, when I talk about my 'sex drive', I am talking about something very physical, like i 'tenseness' down there, a bit of an annoying physical throbbing, that has no real connection to a desire to have sex with someone. I never get physical urges caused by any person, I don't get turned on by pictures of sexy people. I am attractd on an aesthetic level, although sometimes I feel like the pictures of so called 'sexual' people are really really ugly.

The only way I can describe it is, I would think for a guy to m-- terbate would feel good, and if it did he might sometimes for whatever hormonal reason have a slight urge to do it again, even if he was not physically attracted to any woman (or man, depending). Sort of an entirelly physical/hormonal thing without a true desire to have sex with anyone.

This teensy physical thing comes on at times when my chemical levels are out of whack (right before that time of the month) and when I am extremely stressed out.

steven_n_g said:

Must be relying on completley different concepts and definitions of sex drive, sexuality, and horniness than any I've ever heard or used. Horniness, to me _is_ sexual attraction, and is a sex drive. They're one, inseperable. It'd be like me saying I'm green, but I'm never green. Hmm. Well I guess people can make their own definitions, which maybe I've done without knowing it, but that's some of the confusion here, I guess.

naissur9 said:

hi and welcome. I personally think that a person can be asexual and periodically have a sex drive. Women's hormones naturally fluxuat during the menstral cycle, and at times they reach a high enough level to produce a sex drive. But if this sex drive is not normally apart of your personality, I see no wrong in calling yourself asexual. I sometimes have a short lived drive that is even directed towards someone, but it's never strong enough to persue anything, and within a day it's gone.

ehartsay said:

this is my first time posting here.

I have a question, which is can you be asexual if you have a sex drive? I feel that I am asexual because I am NEVER sexuallyy attracted to anybody, any person, EVER

However I can, at certain times of the month, have a sex drive, on a physical level...

Wait, so how is your asexuality at all unique? We seem to be getting more plentiful all the time :). And on the topic of numbers, where do you get the 5% statistic? To my knowledge no real scientific studies have been done (other than the tribune one, which is fairly sketch, survey-wise.) great interview though, it gave a good human side of things and made everythiing understandable.

-DJ

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/vital/firstperson That's the right one :-)

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I feel a bit like the person in ht earticle... Until I found 'asexuality' on the web, I never knew htere were many people like me in this respect.

The thing is, I never felt ashamed. I am a very stubborn person, and have always had a tendancy to WANT to be different, to WANT to be unique, to shatter the sacred cow stereotypes of society. I have a tendancy to support unpopular (although never immoral or cruel) standpoints, BECAUSE they were villified without reason (for instance the issue of Child-Free living). I am proud to be an asexual virgin, in large part because it *is* unusual, because I LIKE to march to my own drum and NEVER feel pressure to do something or feel something, or think a certain way just because it is the 'normal' way of being.

Wait, so how is your asexuality at all unique? We seem to be getting more plentiful all the time :). And on the topic of numbers, where do you get the 5% statistic? To my knowledge no real scientific studies have been done (other than the tribune one, which is fairly sketch, survey- wise.) great interview though, it gave a good human side of things and made everythiing understandable.

-DJ

On 21 Aug 2002, Geraldin said:

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/vital/firstperson That's the right one :-)

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Well, I wonder about that unique bit too, as I've never said it, I think she added it to make it more exciting :-)... The percent bit comes from a recent survey carried out by a Dutch research team ...

What I ment with the "ashamed" part, is that it often seems as if sexuals want to try to make you feel ashamed ...

Love, Geri.

All about Asexuality at http://study.at/Amoeba

Wait, so how is your asexuality at all unique? We seem to be getting more plentiful all the time :). And on the topic of numbers, where do you get the 5% statistic? To my knowledge no real scientific studies have been done (other than the tribune one, which is fairly sketch, survey-wise.) great interview though, it gave a good human side of things and made everythiing understandable.

-DJ

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/vital/firstperson That's the right one :-)

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The percent bit comes from a recent survey carried out by a Dutch research team ...

Could you tell a bit more about that study? Do you have info on this (a link on internet?, the name / author of the study and where we can get this study ...). In some articles, I read about a percentage of about 4 % ( journalists refer to P. Vennix of the NISSO), but I haven't found that study yet. Does anyone have a hint on this for me?

Are there any webmasters of asexuality sites that would be able to create a page where people can sign as self-proclaimed asexuals? That way there would be some sort of count, and if we pass the word along who knows how many people would sign.

Lizz

I just saw the funniest thing. I clicked to read a post and an ad came up. No problem, except this one was "to increase your libido and sex drive." Yep, that is what we all have been doing wrong here. We just needed a miricle cure sold on the internet for us to all to get sex drive. Umm...I am thinking no. Ok enough of that. Just had to comment on that.

lol, I've seen that ad many times when I read the posts here. I think maybe those ads take in consideration of what the club is about. A friend of mine is in a religious/anti-religious club (I don't remember whether he's an atheist or satanist), and he was telling me that the ads on his posts say "come to Jesus", or something like that.

I just saw the funniest thing. I clicked to read a post and an ad came up. No problem, except this one was "to increase your libido and sex drive." Yep, that is what we all have been doing wrong here. We just needed a miricle cure sold on the internet for us to all to get sex drive. Umm...I am thinking no. Ok enough of that. Just had to comment on that.

I am still thinking about "my ideal way of living". I like living on my own, but sometimes I think I would also like it to live in a group. Living in a couple doesn't really seems attractive to me. How are the you thinking about living in a group? A group of about 4 to 6 people, sharing the same house?

To me, it sometimes seems attractive, but it doesn't seem easy.

Okay, so I went on this date Friday night and afterwards I was wondering why I was wasting my time doing this. Anyhow, halfway through the dinner conversation, the guy says "Everybody wants sex" and I wanted to call him on that really badly but, you know, it was the first date after all. :) So now, what do you guys think about the chances of a 2nd date happening? lol I should have just said something huh? I mean what are the chances of my ever meeting up with this guy again!

I wouldn't like to live in a group... no way! :-) hehe... That would surely make your existence more ascetic, you would have to... - follow some rules - be patient - bear the noise they make - leave your individuality a little bit - bear the taste conflicts

Yes, but I think the above is true in every kind of relation you have (also with friends). It's the other side of being close to someone. I agree that it is easier to do this when you don't live together: then your limitations of your "freedom" are limited and when you don't want others around, you don't have to.

But living together has also advantages: first, it's cheaper, you have also company without having to do anything for that and being at home together with other can be faniliar too ...

But I also realise the disadvantages, as you put them above ...

Don't you have "devoidness" crisis sometimes? I don't think it's nice to make a decision when you're high or when you are on a middle of an emotional devoid crisis (*HANDS UP* - I'm not saying you have that! I'm just saying what I would do, ok?)

Sorry, English is not my mothertongue, and I'm afraid that I don't really understand what you mean by "devoidness" (I have already looked in the dictionnary, but this doens't solve this problem ...) So, I don't know ...

I'm 19 yo, I still live with my parents - and they are the worse people I could live with...

Yes, but that's a totally different situation than when living together with people of your own age (all on an equal basis), without being in a parent-child-position ... I also prefer much more living on my own (that's the way I live now), than when I still lived at home with my parents.

A while back I made a post noting how many noteworthy scholars, scientists and mathematicians were celibate, asexual, or nearly so. A name I forgot to add (because I knew little about his life) was Henry Cavendish, who first successfully measured the gravitational constant. Here's a short biography of this eccentric physicist (whose name now graces Britain's largest laboratory): http://scienceworld.wolfram.com/biography/Cavendish.html

Finally you have found the answer to many questions about havin' sex: loneliness, cause livin' among people belonging a group can give to you the confort sometimes we confuse with sex desire. How many times we are looking for sex when a little attention is enough? regards, Friedich. bostongirl10y wrote:I am still thinking about "my ideal way of living". I like living on my own, but sometimes I think I would also like it to live in a group. Living in a couple doesn't really seems attractive to me. How are the you thinking about living in a group? A group of about 4 to 6 people, sharing the same house?

To me, it sometimes seems attractive, but it doesn't seem easy.

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