Haven for the Human Amoeba

I am new to this group, and just wanted to say "Hello". I have been asexual for my whole life, and have always felt "not-normal" (as I am sure many of you also have). I have been , and still am, closeted in this, as I hate the stigma I get from others who do know. People have thought I was gay, shy, weird,...you name it. Essentially I am a nice guy, who wants (and have had in the past) a relationship with a woman, to share my life with, but without sex, as I have NO desire for it. This has been difficult in the past, but now that I know there are more people like me out there, I have hope. If anyone wants to start a conversation, please feel free to reply to this post, or email me. Thanks a lot.

OK. Yea. I meant to say "SOME LADIES KEEP ON HITTING ON ME". I accidently said some weird "SOME LADIES KEEP GETTING HIT ON ME".

Sorry for the confusion.

and yes, Being hit on is slang for being flirted with....a wink in your direction, some lady comming up behind you, rubbing your sholders and saying "HEY WOMBAT! what'cha doing? and bringing her face really close. Something like that. Or some other person grabbing ahold of your arm etc....you get it.

But yeah....

I don't know if i can just ignore them. I tried that once....and then other people started to get involved....and tell me directly "[insert female name here] likes you? you should do [this]". Or "have you considered dating [name]?"

At that point i just cant ignore it. and if i say she isn't my type, then I felt that i have let her down. But at the same time it's hard to come out as asexual.

ERRR....it's hard. And i don't want to hurt anyones feelings.

I think that when i come back next semester, I'm going to come out on campus. It's a pretty open minded campus....everyones very supportive of other people's sexual tendencies. This one will definately throw them for a loop. And if i am serious about finding someone to spend a good portion of my life with as life partners/friends/co-adventurers/buddies/etc., Then i would only attract those to me who know full well that they won't get any sexual stuff from me. And that would at least be something. That would eliminate about 99% of all ladies... gota go

I found this neat dating site. http://www.endlessdates.com/ You can post your profile for free. Check it out!

Lisa

lisabryanfla wrote:

I found this neat dating site. http://www.endlessdates.com/ You can post your profile for free. Check it out!

Lisa

I think the subject line of this spam is especially ironic.

lisabryanfla wrote:

I found this neat dating site. http://www.endlessdates.com/ You can post your profile for free. Check it out!

Lisa

I think the subject line of this spam is especially ironic.

I *know* what I am missing. That's why I am avoiding it. :)

glenn

<< [You needn't necessarily have to want a sex change; just feel

uncomfortable with how people see you because of whatever you're born

with. And quite possibly these are two completely different things

despite the occasional overlap. So of course there would be people

for whom this totally doesn't apply - any reactions to this?]

I certainly don't feel that way.. I'm very happy to be female. :(

Hello all,

this is my first time posting though I've lurked around here since last year. Mostly haven't had anything to say (the usualy argument: I'm asexual, therefore not interested in sex, therefore not hung up on my asexuality either etc. etc.). But I found what Glenn said interesting, though more because of the train of thought it sparked off in me.

I almost have that now with someone. (And in a weird spin on bisexuality, the one I speak of is a woman who used to be a man... we're close friends, but I doubt it will ever go further than that.)

I'm assuming you mean to say your friend is an MTF (male-to-female) transsexual; by transsexual (for the sake of definitions) I mean having acute body and / or social dysphoria and undergoing treatment / operations to be able to live a normal life (socially and sexually) as a member of the opposite sex.

I'm not saying there's any link between asexuals and transsexuals, nor am I suggesting that you might be one if you are the other. But I have a couple of friends who identify as FTMs (female-to-male transsexuals) and some of them thought of themselves as asexual until they realised they were trapped in the wrong body. Which would be a pretty obvious incongruity for some people (as in knowing since childhood that something is very wrong) but isn't felt as acutely in most. There are others who are practically asexual until they begin to transition. And so I wonder if it is possible that this discomfort just gets translated into a sort of estrangement from your own genitals and a total lack of interest in sex. Affection and hugs and cuddles ok; just no sex.

So... if you don't think this represents any copping-out on your asexuality, I'd like to know: on a purely speculative basis, how many of you suppose you might possibly not be asexual IF you were born as the opposite sex, or with a body other than your own??

[You needn't necessarily have to want a sex change; just feel uncomfortable with how people see you because of whatever you're born with. And quite possibly these are two completely different things despite the occasional overlap. So of course there would be people for whom this totally doesn't apply - any reactions to this?]

Would like to know what you all think, so hoping to get a few responses here--

cheers, JC

I'm assuming you mean to say your friend is an MTF (male-to-female) transsexual; by transsexual (for the sake of definitions) I mean having acute body and / or social dysphoria and undergoing treatment / operations to be able to live a normal life (socially and sexually) as a member of the opposite sex.

You assume correctly. Until a few years ago, Shauna was Shawn. She and I have been friends since last fall. We have similar tastes in movies, tv shows, and music; we're both sci-fi geeks. :) A couple of months ago, when we were talking about movies, she mentioned in passing a movie that she really liked. I mentioned that I have it on video, and dropped a hint that if she wanted maybe she could come over to my place sometime and watch it with me. (The movie is "UHF", starring Weird Al Yankovic, btw.)

So the next weekend, that's exactly what we did. And somewhere in the evening, she told me that she was a transsexual. I was floored, since I'd met a few other MTF transsexuals in the past and they all looked like guys in drag -- she does not.

We've done more "movie nights" since then. She says she has no interest in relationships right now (what with her reassignment surgery coming up in a few months), that what she really needs right now are good friends. So, what she and I have now is a close friendship. We go out together. But that's all. Which suits me fine, really.

There are others who are practically asexual until they begin to transition. And so I wonder if it is possible that this discomfort just gets translated into a sort of estrangement from your own genitals and a total lack of interest in sex. Affection and hugs and cuddles ok; just no sex.

So... if you don't think this represents any copping-out on your asexuality, I'd like to know: on a purely speculative basis, how many of you suppose you might possibly not be asexual IF you were born as the opposite sex, or with a body other than your own??

That certainly doesn't apply to me. I've never felt that I should have been born female.

And quite possibly these are two completely different things despite the occasional overlap. So of course there would be people for whom this totally doesn't apply - any reactions to this?]

I'd say these are two separate things that sometimes overlap.

Glenn

Have you checked out asexuality.org? If you're interested in romantic relationships without sex, it's worth checking out. (Some people here believe wanting to live together/hug/feel love is "sexual," but asexuality.org is pretty open.)

There you go!! I have found ironically enough that in this day and age, people seem to have a more difficult time "accepting" a non- sexual person than someone with 'extreem' sexual inclinations. I am very, very tired of people pushing sexual activity on me, as if my whole identity and being revolved around my and others genitalia. I find it extreemly narrow minded. The things in life I care about and value go far beyond any part of anyone's physical anatomy or any single activity.

Ohitikawoman

Paranoid Gynandroid said:

lisabryanfla wrote:

I found this neat dating site. http://www.endlessdates.com/ You can post your profile for free. Check it out!

Lisa

I think the subject line of this spam is especially ironic.

I *know* what I am missing. That's why I am avoiding it. :)

glenn

I have posted a few things, but thought I would give you all a proper introduction to myself. I am in the 'older' asexual category I guess, (meaning over 40). It is funny, I hear the stories of gay people marrying and trying to fit into society and look back and realize that I did the same in my own way. I would describe myself as a 'hetero-sexual-asexual" if that makes any sense. I am female and definately like men! but I do not like sexual activity. I have been married a couple times and have 2 children, so I definately know (because I tried very hard to like it) that I simply do not like or enjoy sex and I am sick and tired of trying to "fit in" and be like everybody else. Basically, sex is an activity that I do not find pleasant; it is something I have never desired (horniness is a foriegn concept to me, I have never felt it). Yet I truly enjoy the company of men and am sad because even though I can be a wonderful wife and friend in all other regards, I will never be capable of having a sexual relationship. (I am not sad about the sex; if I never have to sex again as long as I live....it will be too soon). I am sad because I am pretty much destined to live the rest of my life alone...without a partner. To me, marriage was more about the companionship, friendship, living and working together...etc. Not that "normal" men do not care about those things, but the bottom line is, they want to get laid on a regular basis AND they want you to act like you love it! That is where I fall short, I can't fake it any more. Nor do I want to. I am fortunate in that I have a close relationship with my daughters and family members; I have 4 dogs that are like children to me and are great companions and am involved with several rescue groups. I have many interests, hobbies and activities that I enjoy and find very fulfilling (like gardening, various arts and crafts, decorating, reading and history, antiques and furniture restoration, mechanics, etc., etc. I'm even a gourmet cook.) I have a decent job with great bosses (I'm a senior chemist in the biotech arena). But I have always felt very much like the outsider that did not belong. It is a sad commentary on our society. It makes me very sad on the one hand and rather angry on the other. If I meet nice men I am very honest with them, I will not play that flirty game or lead someone on. Unfortunately there is generally one of two reactions, they either run or they take it as a "challenge"....""Heeeheeee, You just haven't had the right man baby...B.S.!!" Both reactions are insulting and I have just stopped looking or really trying. It occured to me the other week that with all the pornography etc. out there... were there people like me? out there ? When I started searching for non-sexual groups or sites it was amazing 1) that Yes you all are out here, but 2) how few !!! If I was perverted I would have been inundated with sites etc., but for those of us who do NOT think that sex is the best thing ever conceived of... not too many places. In any event, it is nice to meet you all and know you exist. I knew I wasn't the only one, but being "non-sexual" is kind-of like the new taboo...better keep that a SECRET!! Especially where I live! In California, you probably better off admiting to being a swinger or having pedophilic tendancies than to not liking sex at all. I look forward to talking with you guys. Thanks for being here.

Ohitikawoman

Maybe I should elaborate, 1) the feeling of Love is not sexual, not the emotion I am refering to. I mean the love you feel in a deep friendship or in family or even the love I have for my dogs. I love them to death! but there is nothing romantic or sexual about it. 2) when I speak about a "partner", again I am not refering to sexual urges. But a close friend or "soul-mate", a companion. Someone you can talk with, etc. I am actually most happy to live by myself but would like to have someone I am close to and can spend time with , without sex being part of the equation. 3) Hugging is not my style. Granted, I do admit to hugging my dogs and my kids. But I have never cared for much human touching or physical contact. My own mother can attest to that--that I have never liked being touched by people.

Thanks, for your response, I will certainly check them (asexuality.org) out. I disagree with those however that think that any desire to have a close emotional relationship with another human being is intrinsically "sexual". For some people that may very well be true, but in my case, it is not. When I say that I like "men" it is because all my life, I have found it easier to relate to men as people, especially when you take sex out of the equation. I tend to think and relate to the world more like men do (as a whole), and tend to have more interests and abilties that are similar to males. I find them easier to talk to, my logical processes are more like them than your average female. Now I do have female friends also, don't get me wrong. But I have to work harder and try harder to understand most women than I do with men. That's all.

Again, thanks for your response.

Ohitikawoman

Have you checked out asexuality.org? If you're interested in romantic relationships without sex, it's worth checking out. (Some people here believe wanting to live together/hug/feel love is "sexual," but asexuality.org is pretty open.)

WOW!!! I could not have put that any better myself. If you switch the genders around (I considermyself a hetero-sexual-asexual man), it is EXACTLY how I feel. It was very nice to read this.

"ohitikawin@..." <ohitikawin@...> wrote:I have posted a few things, but thought I would give you all a proper introduction to myself. I am in the 'older' asexual category I guess, (meaning over 40). It is funny, I hear the stories of gay people marrying and trying to fit into society and look back and realize that I did the same in my own way. I would describe myself as a 'hetero-sexual-asexual" if that makes any sense. I am female and definately like men! but I do not like sexual activity. I have been married a couple times and have 2 children, so I definately know (because I tried very hard to like it) that I simply do not like or enjoy sex and I am sick and tired of trying to "fit in" and be like everybody else. Basically, sex is an activity that I do not find pleasant; it is something I have never desired (horniness is a foriegn concept to me, I have never felt it). Yet I truly enjoy the company of men and am sad because even though I can be a wonderful wife and friend in all other regards, I will never be capable of having a sexual relationship. (I am not sad about the sex; if I never have to sex again as long as I live....it will be too soon). I am sad because I am pretty much destined to live the rest of my life alone...without a partner. To me, marriage was more about the companionship, friendship, living and working together...etc. Not that "normal" men do not care about those things, but the bottom line is, they want to get laid on a regular basis AND they want you to act like you love it! That is where I fall short, I can't fake it any more. Nor do I want to. I am fortunate in that I have a close relationship with my daughters and family members; I have 4 dogs that are like children to me and are great companions and am involved with several rescue groups. I have many interests, hobbies and activities that I enjoy and find very fulfilling (like gardening, various arts and crafts, decorating, reading and history, antiques and furniture restoration, mechanics, etc., etc. I'm even a gourmet cook.) I have a decent job with great bosses (I'm a senior chemist in the biotech arena). But I have always felt very much like the outsider that did not belong. It is a sad commentary on our society. It makes me very sad on the one hand and rather angry on the other. If I meet nice men I am very honest with them, I will not play that flirty game or lead someone on. Unfortunately there is generally one of two reactions, they either run or they take it as a "challenge"....""Heeeheeee, You just haven't had the right man baby...B.S.!!" Both reactions are insulting and I have just stopped looking or really trying. It occured to me the other week that with all the pornography etc. out there... were there people like me? out there ? When I started searching for non-sexual groups or sites it was amazing 1) that Yes you all are out here, but 2) how few !!! If I was perverted I would have been inundated with sites etc., but for those of us who do NOT think that sex is the best thing ever conceived of... not too many places. In any event, it is nice to meet you all and know you exist. I knew I wasn't the only one, but being "non-sexual" is kind-of like the new taboo...better keep that a SECRET!! Especially where I live! In California, you probably better off admiting to being a swinger or having pedophilic tendancies than to not liking sex at all. I look forward to talking with you guys. Thanks for being here.

Ohitikawoman

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Thanks, it would be nice to talk with you. ohitikawoman

WOW!!! I could not have put that any better myself. If you switch the genders around (I considermyself a hetero-sexual-asexual man), it is EXACTLY how I feel. It was very nice to read this.

"ohitikawin@s..." <ohitikawin@h...> wrote:I have posted a few things, but thought I would give you all a proper introduction to myself. I am in the 'older' asexual category I guess, (meaning over 40). It is funny, I hear the stories of gay people marrying and trying to fit into society and look back and realize that I did the same in my own way. I would describe myself as a 'hetero-sexual-asexual" if that makes any sense. I am female and definately like men! but I do not like sexual activity. I have been married a couple times and have 2 children, so I definately know (because I tried very hard to like it) that I simply do not like or enjoy sex and I am sick and tired of trying to "fit in" and be like everybody else. Basically, sex is an activity that I do not find pleasant; it is something I have never desired (horniness is a foriegn concept to me, I have never felt it). Yet I truly enjoy the company of men and am sad because even though I can be a wonderful wife and friend in all other regards, I will never be capable of having a sexual relationship. (I am not sad about the sex; if I never have to sex again as long as I live....it will be too soon). I am sad because I am pretty much destined to live the rest of my life alone...without a partner. To me, marriage was more about the companionship, friendship, living and working together...etc. Not that "normal" men do not care about those things, but the bottom line is, they want to get laid on a regular basis AND they want you to act like you love it! That is where I fall short, I can't fake it any more. Nor do I want to. I am fortunate in that I have a close relationship with my daughters and family members; I have 4 dogs that are like children to me and are great companions and am involved with several rescue groups. I have many interests, hobbies and activities that I enjoy and find very fulfilling (like gardening, various arts and crafts, decorating, reading and history, antiques and furniture restoration, mechanics, etc., etc. I'm even a gourmet cook.) I have a decent job with great bosses (I'm a senior chemist in the biotech arena). But I have always felt very much like the outsider that did not belong. It is a sad commentary on our society. It makes me very sad on the one hand and rather angry on the other. If I meet nice men I am very honest with them, I will not play that flirty game or lead someone on. Unfortunately there is generally one of two reactions, they either run or they take it as a "challenge"....""Heeeheeee, You just haven't had the right man baby...B.S.!!" Both reactions are insulting and I have just stopped looking or really trying. It occured to me the other week that with all the pornography etc. out there... were there people like me? out there ? When I started searching for non-sexual groups or sites it was amazing 1) that Yes you all are out here, but 2) how few !!! If I was perverted I would have been inundated with sites etc., but for those of us who do NOT think that sex is the best thing ever conceived of... not too many places. In any event, it is nice to meet you all and know you exist. I knew I wasn't the only one, but being "non-sexual" is kind-of like the new taboo...better keep that a SECRET!! Especially where I live! In California, you probably better off admiting to being a swinger or having pedophilic tendancies than to not liking sex at all. I look forward to talking with you guys. Thanks for being here.

Ohitikawoman

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Wow....Just wow. If there were more than 40 people at this site, there would be massive cheering. Instead...it's just cheering. That was wonderfull. So..."Ditto". I know exactly what you mean. Oh, by the way, Its nice to know that I'm not the only chemist here! BOOYA! Although I am more an analytical chemist (environmental specifically), A chemist is a chemist. I am currently working on my undergraduate research....I'm doing it on Polycyclic Aromatic Hydrocarbons (PAHs) in urban street dusts. I'm kinda psyched about it. I still need to develop a method...probebly using GC/MS....maybe HPLC...but HPLC is a pain. anyway. It's Nice to know that there is another asexual chemist. But yeah....Great Rant. I relate completely....well not completely...haven't had kids nor am I 40....only half way there. But yeah....Nice post!

"I can say "if you are asexual and you never reflected on it, you must be dumb", but in the other side I can say "if you are thinking too much on it on your daily life, you are either a philosopher or someone whose sexuality is affecting your life too much"

Well, sex affects us all in many ways whether we are sexual or not.We are unindated by sex everywhere we look. My sexuality or lack thereof has nothing to do with the fact sex affects us all. We are all, in this forum, asexual for one reason of another, whether we know the reason or not. I admit sex is not natural or needed to have a fulfilling life, but you can not escape sex that is around you. I can't stand to see anybody kiss passionately in public. It makes my stomach turn. Here I am affected. I hear neighbors having sex in the next apartment. I have to turn up my TV or music. I can't stand the thought of others having sex. It sickens me. I hear guys at work talking about their sexual escapades and I just want to tell them to shut up. I am affected by sex every day. It is not my sexuality or lack thereof that is affecting me, it is the sexuality of others. Too many people try to make sex seem as if it is a normal experience. It isn't. Most people learn to be sexual. Being Asexual is not always a learned response to anything. I don't like sex, never have, don't want to. I have never had a woman show any desire to be with me and I am thankful. I have a number of women friends, but many of them like sex and I often hear them talk about it. It disgusts me, to be honest. I cannot understand why a woman would want a man to invade her with his penis. Worse, I cannot understand why a woman would reduce her self worth to take a man's penis into her mouth. I know it happens, I hear women at work talk about it sometimes. One woman at work asked another what she thought of swallowing. I almost threw up. I can't imagine what would go through a woman's mind that would make her do such a thing in the first place. I have never wanted to have sex with anyone. I am forty years old and have never felt a need to degrade a woman. I have never felt it was my right to be sexual and to place another part of my body inside another persons body. Think about it. It's just not right. A man usually has sex with women to boost his ego. Women often have sex becuase they have no self esteem or self respect. A woman cannot respect herself if she allows a man to penetrate her and spew his fluids in her. It's not only gross, it is degrading. Is it a woman's job to boost men's egos? NO! If a woman ever wanted me to have sex with her, I would never be able to respect her after that. I don't respect women who have sex, and they don't seem to want respect either. A real lady doesn't allow a man to use her as his personal dumpster. I am affected by sex. I admit it. And it pisses me off. Yes, people have the right to live their lives the way they want to. That doesn't mean they have to do somethings in public tough. Kissing should be a private thing. If you are going to have sex, don't make me listen to it. I have a right, too, to live Asexually, but I find I am often offended by the actions of others. Philosophy? No. Affected to much by my own sexuality? No. Offended by others sexuality? Yes.

<< Too many people try to make sex seem as if it is a normal

experience. It isn't. Most people learn to be sexual. Being Asexual

is not always a learned response to anything. I don't like sex, never

have, don't want to. I have never had a woman show any desire to be

with me and I am thankful. >>

Okay, I have to defend people here. Sex is NOT abnormal. Asexuality is NOT abnormal. Our personal feelings don't make the other side's feelings "abnormal."

<<I cannot

understand why a woman would want a man to invade her with his penis.

Worse, I cannot understand why a woman would reduce her self worth to

take a man's penis into her mouth. I know it happens, I hear women at

work talk about it sometimes.>>

Simple, they find it attractive/pleasing. Just because YOU and I don't like sex doesn't make anyone who likes sex "disgusting."

<<I am forty years old

and have never felt a need to degrade a woman. >>

You can't judge people who have sex as "degrading women." Many women find it appealing. Your preference does not make theirs "degrading."

<< I have never felt it

was my right to be sexual and to place another part of my body inside

another persons body. Think about it. It's just not right.>>

That's YOUR judgment.

<<A woman cannot

respect herself if she allows a man to penetrate her and spew his

fluids in her. >>

A man can't respect himself if he judges a woman for having sex.

<< If a woman ever wanted me to have sex with her, I would never be

able to respect her after that. I don't respect women who have sex,

and they don't seem to want respect either. A real lady doesn't allow

a man to use her as his personal dumpster.>>

A real man doesn't judge women. ;)

It sickens me that someone who deals with discrimination for being asexual judges others. It's hypocritical and saddening.

To those uninterested in sex.. Cool! To those interest in sex.. Cool! To those who judge an asexual for not liking sex, or a sexual for having sex.. You're a sad person and I pity you.

Very well said.That's usually how i look at every controversial and discriminating aspect of life.Just becoz we "no matter what this category of people WE refers to) don't agree with something, let it be gender,sexual preferance,color,religion and all kinds of discrimination issues we suffer from in our self contradicting societies,doesn't mean THEY are or WE are right.It's just a self preferance.And hey...tons of effort and time could be spared if every individual of us would just keep what he/she thinks to him/her self. We claim liberty,human rights and all kinds of crap,but no one really realizes that they themselves are the first to always discriminate.u know what...i'm asexual..but i just resent all human species.i mean no offense to anyone...becoz by human species i mean me myself aswell.We are just a big fat bunch of hypocrits and i'm sure that if every individual of us looks closely to himseld,you would come to realize that each and every one of us is discriminating in some sort of manner.Finally,just becoz we managed to form a group where we all share the same interest or preferance,doesnt mean we should be sitting day and night whining about organisma and their sex lives,and how fortunate or unfortunate some people are,and how this and how that.THERE'SSO MUCH ABOUT LIFE WE COULD TALK ABOUT IF WE REALLY WANT TO.Some people around here say that the majority of people are obsessed with sex,but hey! guess what..we are obsessed with the fact that we are asexuals too! The irony of life,eh?Life could be broken down to very simple bits and pieces to make it easy to live,we choose to complicate matters.I'm just a simple guy,not interested in sex,and i wish i could find a special someone to live with forever to keep each other compnay for life.now that's all i'm asking for,no need to whine about how ungrateful heaven has been to me or to other so claimed SEXUAL species. Enough said.and please everyone,i really didn't mean to offend no one,i just felt like i wanted to spill my heart out

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<< That is understandable, because certainly one CAN lead to

the other. I find the idea of sex quite disgusting as well. >>

I'm perfectly fine with that.. It's when judgmental creeps make statements like "I can't respect a woman who lets a guy put his penis into her," that I think.. "That's fine with me, because I sure as hell don't respect you."

People like that are JUST as bad as people who call asexuals "abnormal" or "sick."

What hypocrites.

lisabryanfla wrote:

I found this neat dating site. http://www.endlessdates.com/ You can post your profile for free. Check it out!

Lisa

I think the subject line of this spam is especially ironic.

The irony actually makes it funny enough for me to keep it on the board instead of deleting it. Eeesh.

-drk

For the most part, I agree with pessimisticgrace. Although most of us here have had our sexuality judged negatively in some way at some time, it is not right for us to judge people, especially when they are doing is biologically normal!

Yes, it is annoying to hear about everybody's sex life all the time. I've been there. Some people have little else to talk about but their sex lives, and I, for one, find those people repulsively dull. I won't say that they're stupid or degrading themselves or bad or wrong, at least not as a whole. I just find it dull when someone talks about only one thing all the time.

I'm a mystery in my workplace because I haven't "come out" and I never talk about current or past relationships, and if someone talks about his or sex life I usually just nod and say "oh".

I was in a literature seminar recently where a woman referred to a female character in a novel as "some asexual weirdo" because the character never mentioned a romantic partner. I teach a medical terminology class, and one of my students asked me what sex chromosomes gay people had. "If gay guys got the same sex chromosomes as other guys, then what makes them all girly?" I can only imagine what he'd say about some of us.

There is ignorance and discrimination everywhere. It does no one any good to perpetuate it. It sounds like Ray is more anti-sexual than asexual. That is understandable, because certainly one CAN lead to the other. I find the idea of sex quite disgusting as well. Probably not *as* disgusting, but still pretty disgusting. Many people find asexuality to be the worst perversion. Everyone is a freak to someone else and it doesn't really matter.

<< You've just declared you don't respect the great majority of people - you can say these radical things here, no one here felt offended with that, but I'm conscious of what I am and what surrounds me, and I know it's a bit crazy to throw rocks in other people's rooftops when I know that mine is made of glass. >>

I guess I don't count, because I was very offended with his bigotry, ESPECIALLY as a minority.

I feel no sympathy for him if he's discriminated against, he's asking for it with his rudeness and cruelty.

<<It seems that my feelings are perceived by othes as wrong or bad,

etc. When I said I couldn't stand seeing others kiss, and it turned

my stomach, I meant it. I do get physically ill. I didn't use to be

this way. I used to be okay with that. I think there was a time, when

I was younger, that I wanted to have sex and never got any. No woman,

or man for that matter, has ever found me attractive, at least that I

know of.>>

I have no problem with that.

<< My deepest desire, I have come to understand is to be found

attractive, not just physically. I have never kissed anyone the way I

see other people kiss. I have never had anyone who actually wanted me

to hold them. I don't really want sex, but I would like to be

intimate with someone. Is that wrong?>>

No, it's not.

<<I am very lonely and have been my whole life. The reason I have

never been able to respect others is because I have seen them as

others. Not everyone who is intimate has sex. I want intimacy. I want

someone to want to be with me. My anger comes from loneliness more

than disgust.>>

If you don't like sex, that's fine. But to say you could never respect a woman because she had sex? That's discrimination, prejudice, and hypocrisy.

It's certainly not fun to be lonely, but no one can expect sympathy if they judge others.

If you want people to accept you as an asexual, accept others as sexuals. If you see kissing, turn your head away. You can't expect complete strangers to change merely because it bothers you. You need to accept everyone's choices as their choices.

If you don't respect a woman because she has sex.. Then you're missing out on some really great people.

It seems that my feelings are perceived by othes as wrong or bad, etc. When I said I couldn't stand seeing others kiss, and it turned my stomach, I meant it. I do get physically ill. I didn't use to be this way. I used to be okay with that. I think there was a time, when I was younger, that I wanted to have sex and never got any. No woman, or man for that matter, has ever found me attractive, at least that I know of. My deepest desire, I have come to understand is to be found attractive, not just physically. I have never kissed anyone the way I see other people kiss. I have never had anyone who actually wanted me to hold them. I don't really want sex, but I would like to be intimate with someone. Is that wrong? I am very lonely and have been my whole life. The reason I have never been able to respect others is because I have seen them as others. Not everyone who is intimate has sex. I want intimacy. I want someone to want to be with me. My anger comes from loneliness more than disgust. I want so bad to have smeone who wants to be with me and not reject me. I know rejection all too well. I spilled my guts and I don't think that was wrong. I told how I felt, now I am telling you why. I like to think I am not that ugly, that I am not going to be alone forever. Maybe I am more right in believing I will always be alone. Maybe I am the only person who has ever felt this way. I am glad others are happy in their lives. I can't apologize for my lonliness, though.

So....How is everyones weather? It's been windy here. I've been sneezing my head off. ACHOOO! Oh, ok. I really don't care about how the weather is....Just needed a change of Post title....something that was not entitled... "RE: There is a Reason to Post".

But I guess It is a big issue....I'm kinda a blunt guy, so here is my two cents. RESPECT. One thing that has continually gone down the drain in society today is respect for others opinions and values. There is no right or wrong...just diffrent perspectives. However, I do belive there is a "Better and Worse". I think things would be a whole lot better if people didn't attatch labels or judgements. The entire western way of thought is based around making judgements, setting values, making labels, and ranking things. The Human race is quickly destroying our precious world because of how the western view is set up. Because we seperate ourselves from nature, We think we are better and dominate nature. We think it is ours to squander. We need a change in how we think about the world we live in. I just hope that we make this change before the reprocussions of our actions hit us full on. It's gonna be sad the those years....but if our race keeps overpopulating....IT WILL OCCUR. lots of people will die....and i don't want to see that.....OK! This is WoMBaT not answering the question and just ranting again.....what was the question? Oh yeah, I think that to get the respect of others, you have to respect them first. Maybe the reason you feel lonely is because you fail to respect people because they have sex. Try accepting people for the way they are and people will respect you for the way you are. My father used to say something to me and I only fully understood it about 6 months ago when I finally accepted that I was asexual...."You have to be OK with yourself before you can be OK with others". I think that is a very true statement. I don't know notaquicky but I'm sure that he knows himself and knows if he is ok with himself or not. But I just want to raise that point.

God, I said i was supposed to be blunt, not a damn minister giving the sunday sermon.....geesh.

I'm done.

I have got to go do some SERIOUS work....god, I hate the last week of school...SO BUSY!!! but soon....soon i will get to chill out with friends and just have fun for a few days. Not to mention see The Matrix Reloaded. YOWZA! thats a funny expression to say...YOWZA! I wonder how it came about? Anybody know? hahaha....anyway. I have got to get a going...

B C N U

WoMBaT