Haven for the Human Amoeba

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eiji001 Master Eiji
eiji001
Master Eiji
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] asexual equivalents

Parent Comment

I can't speak for others, but that has worked for us for many years now.

From
pessimisticgrace@...
To
[email protected]
Sent
Friday, May 30, 2003 1:03 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] asexual equivalents

<< Most happy, monogamous sexual marriages have something that the

couple will do together, that they simply won't do with others (at

least not with out causing relationship problems) - namely, this is

sex and making-out, in most of these relationships. Do any of you

beleive there could be an equivalent in an asexual marriage to

this? Something that an asexual couple would only do with each

other, that if violated, would be much like "cheating" in a sexual

relationship? >>

Absolutely, I would cuddle and kiss and hug a partner. And stroke their hair and tell them I love them, etc.

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heh.. like I ever get to that point... I"m only sexless because I cant have kids.. which I guess is all for the best.. too many ppl on the planet and eating too much food.

Steve D'Agostino said:

I can't speak for others, but that has worked for us for many years now.

From
pessimisticgrace@a...
To
[email protected]
Sent
Friday, May 30, 2003 1:03 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] asexual equivalents

<< Most happy, monogamous sexual marriages have something that the

couple will do together, that they simply won't do with others (at

least not with out causing relationship problems) - namely, this is

sex and making-out, in most of these relationships. Do any of you

beleive there could be an equivalent in an asexual marriage to

this? Something that an asexual couple would only do with each

other, that if violated, would be much like "cheating" in a sexual

relationship? >>

Absolutely, I would cuddle and kiss and hug a partner. And stroke their hair and tell them I love them, etc.

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pessimisticgrace
pessimisticgrace
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] asexual equivalents

<< heh.. like I ever get to that point...

I"m only sexless because I cant have kids.. which I guess is all for

the best.. too many ppl on the planet and eating too much food.

I like food. ;)

2,103 / 4,883
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mrlasngr Sarae Montgomery
mrlasngr
Sarae Montgomery
Permalink

Brief Hello

I don't exactly belong here, but it's the closest box I can put myself in at the moment. I'm not completely asexual or antisexual because there is sex in my relationship.. I'm just not... I dunno, I have no desire for any sex or personal contact. I'd be perfectly content to get a hug and a quick kiss. I was a victim of abuse at 2, 8 and 16, but have countered all that and just realised that i really don't care for intimate interactions. I love being with my SO, spending time together with the kids (non-human), going out to do stuff, even arguing and bitching at each other... I just wish he didn't have this testosterone-driven desire for sex sex sex. He knows not to push me, but will whine if he hasn't gotten laid before I go back home. (We're in a long distance relationship... during the school year we see each other about every other week from Thursday-Sunday, during breaks I often stay for a week or two).

I love him to death, but I'm dating him - not his penis. We're complementary in every aspect outside of this topic, I don't want this to be what pulls us apart.. but I'm starting to wonder if there's anything I can do about it.

I must sleep now, work beckons soon -s


Sarae Montgomery We're all mad here!

2,104 / 4,883
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steven_n_g Steven
steven_n_g
Steven
Permalink

Re: Brief Hello

Parent Comment

I don't exactly belong here, but it's the closest box I can put myself in at the moment. I'm not completely asexual or antisexual because there is sex in my relationship.. I'm just not... I dunno, I have no desire for any sex or personal contact. I'd be perfectly content to get a hug and a quick kiss. I was a victim of abuse at 2, 8 and 16, but have countered all that and just realised that i really don't care for intimate interactions. I love being with my SO, spending time together with the kids (non-human), going out to do stuff, even arguing and bitching at each other... I just wish he didn't have this testosterone-driven desire for sex sex sex. He knows not to push me, but will whine if he hasn't gotten laid before I go back home. (We're in a long distance relationship... during the school year we see each other about every other week from Thursday-Sunday, during breaks I often stay for a week or two).

I love him to death, but I'm dating him - not his penis. We're complementary in every aspect outside of this topic, I don't want this to be what pulls us apart.. but I'm starting to wonder if there's anything I can do about it.

I must sleep now, work beckons soon -s


Sarae Montgomery We're all mad here!

Hello... well I'd say you fit in at least as well as I do, and probably at least a few others. You pretty close to described how I feel myself, or at least, close enough.

Sarae Montgomery said:

I don't exactly belong here, but it's the closest box I can put myself in at the moment. I'm not completely asexual or antisexual because there is sex in my relationship.. I'm just not... I dunno, I have no desire for any sex or personal contact. I'd be perfectly content to get a hug and a quick kiss. I was a victim of abuse at 2, 8 and 16, but have countered all that and just realised that i really don't care for intimate interactions. I love being with my SO, spending time together with the kids (non-human), going out to do stuff, even arguing and bitching at each other... I just wish he didn't have this testosterone-driven desire for sex sex sex. He knows not to push me, but will whine if he hasn't gotten laid before I go back home. (We're in a long distance relationship... during the school year we see each other about every other week from Thursday-Sunday, during breaks I often stay for a week or two).

I love him to death, but I'm dating him - not his penis. We're complementary in every aspect outside of this topic, I don't want this to be what pulls us apart.. but I'm starting to wonder if there's anything I can do about it.

I must sleep now, work beckons soon -s


Sarae Montgomery We're all mad here!

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ahernandez20022001 alex
ahernandez20022001
alex
Permalink

greetings

HI, my name is Alex, i would like to get some mail from you guys, it is nice to know you are not the only one

bye

alex

subiluliuma@...

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bloodyredcommie
bloodyredcommie
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] greetings

Parent Comment

HI, my name is Alex, i would like to get some mail from you guys, it is nice to know you are not the only one

bye

alex

subiluliuma@...

Welcome alex!! Always good to see a new face!!

Do a google search on "asexuality" to get a sense of what's out there...

-DJ

HI, my name is Alex, i would like to get some mail from you guys, it is nice to know you are not the only one

bye

alex

subiluliuma@...

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mrlasngr Sarae Montgomery
mrlasngr
Sarae Montgomery
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] greetings

does anyone else find it amusing that 90% of the mail on this group is from a spammer advertising a fuckbuddy service?

someone's wasting an address -s


Sarae Montgomery Copy Editor for hire We're all mad here! saamontg@... 7-8233 (home)

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ahernandez20022001 alex
ahernandez20022001
alex
Permalink

read this

Hi, this is Alex again, look, i want to share some ideas with you guys, do you think it is possible, in any way being asexual and want having children? thats happening to me, i dont want to die without children, id like to oofer them what i did not have when i was a child, but it seems a little difficult, dont you think?, firstly i might find the asexual girl who want the same, and after find out the way to have it...it is a lot of stuff...

bye guys hope to listen from you soon

2,109 / 4,883
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ahernandez20022001 alex
ahernandez20022001
alex
Permalink

this is alex

any suggestion, this e mail or

subiluliuma@...

bye

2,110 / 4,883
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mrlasngr Sarae Montgomery
mrlasngr
Sarae Montgomery
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] read this

Sure.. Consider adoption! There are great numbers of children out there without parents, looking for a home and love. Outside of that, many couples often act as godparents to their friends' children... spending time with them, taking them to the zoo.. kind of like giving the children two sets of parents to trust in.

Personally, I don't want children. I don't like children. But if, for some reason, I decided I needed a child.. I'd adopt. My boyfriend and his brother were both adopted.

-s


Sarae Montgomery Copy Editor for hire We're all mad here! saamontg@... 7-8233 (home)

From
"alex" <ahernandez20022001@...>
To
<[email protected]>
Sent
Saturday, June 21, 2003 1:19 AM
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] read this

Hi, this is Alex again, look, i want to share some ideas with you guys, do you think it is possible, in any way being asexual and want having children? thats happening to me, i dont want to die without children, id like to oofer them what i did not have when i was a child, but it seems a little difficult, dont you think?, firstly i might find the asexual girl who want the same, and after find out the way to have it...it is a lot of stuff...

bye guys hope to listen from you soon

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

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bloodyredcommie
bloodyredcommie
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] read this

Parent Comment

Hi, this is Alex again, look, i want to share some ideas with you guys, do you think it is possible, in any way being asexual and want having children? thats happening to me, i dont want to die without children, id like to oofer them what i did not have when i was a child, but it seems a little difficult, dont you think?, firstly i might find the asexual girl who want the same, and after find out the way to have it...it is a lot of stuff...

bye guys hope to listen from you soon

Same-sex couples have babies. Infertile couples have babies. Single folk have babies. We already got ourselves an industry.

-DJ

Hi, this is Alex again, look, i want to share some ideas with you guys, do you think it is possible, in any way being asexual and want having children? thats happening to me, i dont want to die without children, id like to oofer them what i did not have when i was a child, but it seems a little difficult, dont you think?, firstly i might find the asexual girl who want the same, and after find out the way to have it...it is a lot of stuff...

bye guys hope to listen from you soon

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mrlasngr Sarae Montgomery
mrlasngr
Sarae Montgomery
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] read this

There are enough people having sex :) I don't think we're gonna run out of babies anytime soon!

-s


Sarae Montgomery Copy Editor for hire We're all mad here! saamontg@... 7-8233 (home)

From
<djay@...>
To
<[email protected]>
Sent
Saturday, June 21, 2003 10:40 AM
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] read this

Same-sex couples have babies. Infertile couples have babies. Single folk have babies. We already got ourselves an industry.

-DJ

Hi, this is Alex again, look, i want to share some ideas with you guys, do you think it is possible, in any way being asexual and want having children? thats happening to me, i dont want to die without children, id like to oofer them what i did not have when i was a child, but it seems a little difficult, dont you think?, firstly i might find the asexual girl who want the same, and after find out the way to have it...it is a lot of stuff...

bye guys hope to listen from you soon

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kilraven62 Glenn
kilraven62
Glenn
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] greetings

Parent Comment

does anyone else find it amusing that 90% of the mail on this group is from a spammer advertising a fuckbuddy service?

someone's wasting an address -s


Sarae Montgomery Copy Editor for hire We're all mad here! saamontg@... 7-8233 (home)

Sarae Montgomery said:

does anyone else find it amusing that 90% of the mail on this group is from a spammer advertising a fuckbuddy service?

someone's wasting an address

You'd think they'd have gotten a clue from the group description... trying to sell sex to us is like trying to sell booze to Mormons, or meat to vegetarians... :)

Glenn

2,114 / 4,883
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eiji001 Master Eiji the Somnimancer
eiji001
Master Eiji the Somnimancer
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] greetings

Glenn said:
Sarae Montgomery said:

does anyone else find it amusing that 90% of the mail on this group is from a spammer advertising a fuckbuddy service?

someone's wasting an address

You'd think they'd have gotten a clue from the group description... trying to sell sex to us is like trying to sell booze to Mormons, or meat to vegetarians... :)

Glenn

it also doesnt help me.... I"m trying to become asexual since I"ve realized getting a date is a battle I cant win.. this doesnt help any


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2,115 / 4,883
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mrlasngr Sarae Montgomery
mrlasngr
Sarae Montgomery
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] greetings

it also doesnt help me.... I"m trying to become asexual since I"ve realized getting a date is a battle I cant win.. this doesnt help any

I'm new, so I don't know who owns the group.. but they should have the capability of removing members.. it seems to be one main person doing the spammage. It's been awhile since i've been on a yahoo group, but does the TOS have anything about spamming?

-s

2,116 / 4,883
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OrionSpirit Cameron
OrionSpirit
Cameron
Permalink

Hey Alex...

Hey there.

I'm cameron...aka, the WoMBaT.

I just want to say that were in the same boat.

I think it is perfectly normal to want to have your own kids. I do...in fact, i want to get married eventually to some lady.

Only probelem is that were both asexual. But i still find women to be beautiful....as in pretty. like art is pretty, i find their bodies beautiful.

Not in a sexual way at all...just...oh heck, see above.

BUt yeah. I am the same way

I would write more, but i am really got to get going

hope to hear from ya!

WoMBaT

P.S.

1. I'm back from my trip 2. will be frequenting more often starting the 1st 3. BOOOYA!!!!!!

GENERAL QUESTIONS!

1. ANYONE IN THE TRIBE OF MIC-O-SAY?!

2. ANYONE INTERESTED IN GOING TO NEW ZEALAND, AUSTRIAILA, SAILING IN THE CARABIEN, OR GOING TO EUROPE FOR A WHILE.

(I am going to do this over a 2 year period cause i need to live my dream....i need to get out there....just wondering if anyone else in interested as a temp traveling partner....more detail to come back later to post)

GOTTA FLY

BUH-BYE!

P.P.S. ANYTIME IS A GOOD TIME TO RHYME!

2,117 / 4,883
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cidalrain No One
cidalrain
No One
Permalink

New Topic

I have been thinking about asexuality for quite some time now. I am not sure if I fall into this category but I am definitely sure that I am not nearly as sexual as it seems most of society is. It is especially interesting for me to find that there are men who do not feel sexual. That feels like such a paradox to me. I have always viewed most men as being controlled by their hormones and if not controlled, than at least highly sexual. I have been dating this guy for 6 months now. His hormones are definitely raging out of control. He is extremely sexually demanding of me. I have been doing things that I don't want to do and doing them more times than I'd care to all just to please him. But I am having built up resentment over the past few months. Yesterday was another fight about sex. He started this new job that is grave yard shift. he has been really tired because of it. So yesterday I took off work and told him he could sleep at my place a couple hours and that I would stay with him. And of course, instead if sleeping he wanted to have sex. I told him I didn't want to and for once he rolled over and left me alone. We started to try to sleep(or so I thought) and next thing you know he starts jacking off right next to me. He thought I was alseep. I didn't know what to do. I just laid there feeling the bed shake. I couldn't believe that he was so stupid to think that i was actually asleep. ESPECIALLY, with all the movement he was making. I got so angry. Here I am taking off work so that he could get some rest and instead he is jacking off! I ask him what he is doing. He says "nothing". Then I said, " Do you really honestly believe that I didn't know what you were doing?" Then he says, "It's just that I want you so bad. I love you so much." And i am just disgusted. I don't believe that his jacking off has anything to do with his love for me. I really just feel that his hormones are controlling him. It didn't matter if I was there or not. See, I don't know if my getting angry was right or not. Sometimes, I think that I just get mad at him because I am jealous of his sexuality. I feel jealous that I can't feel that way. I have tried to figure out why I don't feel as sexual as most people. This problem is a daily demon for me. I keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I keep thinking if I can just figure out WHY I don't feel sexual then somehow I will start to feel sexual. Is it my childhood? Is it my puritanical mother? Was it my over protective father? Is it society and it's pressures? Is it DNA? Is it all these things? None of these things? I am really confused about my sexuality. Am I a Lesbian? Am I heterosexual? Am I bisexual? Am I asexual? I don't fucking have a clue. I don't know how I could get to the age of 28, with all the sexual experiences I have had and still not know. How could I not know? I am especially interested in what the men on this panel have to say about men, sexuality, and my problem. I have never met a man who didn't like sex.

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There is 1 message in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Hey Alex... From: "Cameron" <cbingham@...>



Message
1
Date
Fri, 27 Jun 2003 20:51:22 -0000
From
"Cameron" <cbingham@...>
Subject
Hey Alex...

Hey there.

I'm cameron...aka, the WoMBaT.

I just want to say that were in the same boat.

I think it is perfectly normal to want to have your own kids. I do...in fact, i want to get married eventually to some lady.

Only probelem is that were both asexual. But i still find women to be beautiful....as in pretty. like art is pretty, i find their bodies beautiful.

Not in a sexual way at all...just...oh heck, see above.

BUt yeah. I am the same way

I would write more, but i am really got to get going

hope to hear from ya!

WoMBaT

P.S.

1. I'm back from my trip 2. will be frequenting more often starting the 1st 3. BOOOYA!!!!!!

GENERAL QUESTIONS!

1. ANYONE IN THE TRIBE OF MIC-O-SAY?!

2. ANYONE INTERESTED IN GOING TO NEW ZEALAND, AUSTRIAILA, SAILING IN THE CARABIEN, OR GOING TO EUROPE FOR A WHILE.

(I am going to do this over a 2 year period cause i need to live my dream....i need to get out there....just wondering if anyone else in interested as a temp traveling partner....more detail to come back later to post)

GOTTA FLY

BUH-BYE!

P.P.S. ANYTIME IS A GOOD TIME TO RHYME!



Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/


Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month! http://sbc.yahoo.com

2,118 / 4,883
Permalink
steven_n_g Steven
steven_n_g
Steven
Permalink

Re: New Topic

Parent Comment

I have been thinking about asexuality for quite some time now. I am not sure if I fall into this category but I am definitely sure that I am not nearly as sexual as it seems most of society is. It is especially interesting for me to find that there are men who do not feel sexual. That feels like such a paradox to me. I have always viewed most men as being controlled by their hormones and if not controlled, than at least highly sexual. I have been dating this guy for 6 months now. His hormones are definitely raging out of control. He is extremely sexually demanding of me. I have been doing things that I don't want to do and doing them more times than I'd care to all just to please him. But I am having built up resentment over the past few months. Yesterday was another fight about sex. He started this new job that is grave yard shift. he has been really tired because of it. So yesterday I took off work and told him he could sleep at my place a couple hours and that I would stay with him. And of course, instead if sleeping he wanted to have sex. I told him I didn't want to and for once he rolled over and left me alone. We started to try to sleep(or so I thought) and next thing you know he starts jacking off right next to me. He thought I was alseep. I didn't know what to do. I just laid there feeling the bed shake. I couldn't believe that he was so stupid to think that i was actually asleep. ESPECIALLY, with all the movement he was making. I got so angry. Here I am taking off work so that he could get some rest and instead he is jacking off! I ask him what he is doing. He says "nothing". Then I said, " Do you really honestly believe that I didn't know what you were doing?" Then he says, "It's just that I want you so bad. I love you so much." And i am just disgusted. I don't believe that his jacking off has anything to do with his love for me. I really just feel that his hormones are controlling him. It didn't matter if I was there or not. See, I don't know if my getting angry was right or not. Sometimes, I think that I just get mad at him because I am jealous of his sexuality. I feel jealous that I can't feel that way. I have tried to figure out why I don't feel as sexual as most people. This problem is a daily demon for me. I keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I keep thinking if I can just figure out WHY I don't feel sexual then somehow I will start to feel sexual. Is it my childhood? Is it my puritanical mother? Was it my over protective father? Is it society and it's pressures? Is it DNA? Is it all these things? None of these things? I am really confused about my sexuality. Am I a Lesbian? Am I heterosexual? Am I bisexual? Am I asexual? I don't fucking have a clue. I don't know how I could get to the age of 28, with all the sexual experiences I have had and still not know. How could I not know? I am especially interested in what the men on this panel have to say about men, sexuality, and my problem. I have never met a man who didn't like sex.

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There is 1 message in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Hey Alex... From: "Cameron" <cbingham@...>



Message
1
Date
Fri, 27 Jun 2003 20:51:22 -0000
From
"Cameron" <cbingham@...>
Subject
Hey Alex...

Hey there.

I'm cameron...aka, the WoMBaT.

I just want to say that were in the same boat.

I think it is perfectly normal to want to have your own kids. I do...in fact, i want to get married eventually to some lady.

Only probelem is that were both asexual. But i still find women to be beautiful....as in pretty. like art is pretty, i find their bodies beautiful.

Not in a sexual way at all...just...oh heck, see above.

BUt yeah. I am the same way

I would write more, but i am really got to get going

hope to hear from ya!

WoMBaT

P.S.

1. I'm back from my trip 2. will be frequenting more often starting the 1st 3. BOOOYA!!!!!!

GENERAL QUESTIONS!

1. ANYONE IN THE TRIBE OF MIC-O-SAY?!

2. ANYONE INTERESTED IN GOING TO NEW ZEALAND, AUSTRIAILA, SAILING IN THE CARABIEN, OR GOING TO EUROPE FOR A WHILE.

(I am going to do this over a 2 year period cause i need to live my dream....i need to get out there....just wondering if anyone else in interested as a temp traveling partner....more detail to come back later to post)

GOTTA FLY

BUH-BYE!

P.P.S. ANYTIME IS A GOOD TIME TO RHYME!



Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/


Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month! http://sbc.yahoo.com

Interesting... my experiences have been, unfortunately, that women too are under the power of their hormones. Admittedly, they're not usually _just_ hormones like I hear the guys are, but its still a huge factor. (A good way to make women go away, unfortunately, appears to be to mention that sex isn't a priority or big interest for me). Its also good to know there's other people like myself who are wondering why they are asexual. I'm a naturally analytical person and I can't help but wonder why I'm not a raging bundle of hormones... affection and such is enough for me. And, yes, I too have occasionally felt a bit jealous of the more sexually obsessed people, that is, if sex is really as amazing for them as they say it is. I can't help but think I'm missing one of the most amazing experiences life can offer by not feeling so sexual... ah well. ;) But anyway, my only advice (if you're interested in hearing it that is), is that you've really got to set your life on the track you want it to be, and not on the track set by society or another person. Other people already have their own lives to live, they don't need to run yours too. ;) Steven

No One said:

I have been thinking about asexuality for quite some time now. I am not sure if I fall into this category but I am definitely sure that I am not nearly as sexual as it seems most of society is. It is especially interesting for me to find that there are men who do not feel sexual. That feels like such a paradox to me. I have always viewed most men as being controlled by their hormones and if not controlled, than at least highly sexual. I have been dating this guy for 6 months now. His hormones are definitely raging out of control. He is extremely sexually demanding of me. I have been doing things that I don't want to do and doing them more times than I'd care to all just to please him. But I am having built up resentment over the past few months. Yesterday was another fight about sex. He started this new job that is grave yard shift. he has been really tired because of it. So yesterday I took off work and told him he could sleep at my place a couple hours and that I would stay with him. And of course, instead if sleeping he wanted to have sex. I told him I didn't want to and for once he rolled over and left me alone. We started to try to sleep(or so I thought) and next thing you know he starts jacking off right next to me. He thought I was alseep. I didn't know what to do. I just laid there feeling the bed shake. I couldn't believe that he was so stupid to think that i was actually asleep. ESPECIALLY, with all the movement he was making. I got so angry. Here I am taking off work so that he could get some rest and instead he is jacking off! I ask him what he is doing. He says "nothing". Then I said, " Do you really honestly believe that I didn't know what you were doing?" Then he says, "It's just that I want you so bad. I love you so much." And i am just disgusted. I don't believe that his jacking off has anything to do with his love for me. I really just feel that his hormones are controlling him. It didn't matter if I was there or not. See, I don't know if my getting angry was right or not. Sometimes, I think that I just get mad at him because I am jealous of his sexuality. I feel jealous that I can't feel that way. I have tried to figure out why I don't feel as sexual as most people. This problem is a daily demon for me. I keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I keep thinking if I can just figure out WHY I don't feel sexual then somehow I will start to feel sexual. Is it my childhood? Is it my puritanical mother? Was it my over protective father? Is it society and it's pressures? Is it DNA? Is it all these things? None of these things? I am really confused about my sexuality. Am I a Lesbian? Am I heterosexual? Am I bisexual? Am I asexual? I don't fucking have a clue. I don't know how I could get to the age of 28, with all the sexual experiences I have had and still not know. How could I not know? I am especially interested in what the men on this panel have to say about men, sexuality, and my problem. I have never met a man who didn't like sex.

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There is 1 message in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Hey Alex... From: "Cameron" <cbingham@w...>





Message
1
Date
Fri, 27 Jun 2003 20:51:22 -0000
From
"Cameron" <cbingham@w...>
Subject
Hey Alex...

Hey there.

I'm cameron...aka, the WoMBaT.

I just want to say that were in the same boat.

I think it is perfectly normal to want to have your own kids. I do...in fact, i want to get married eventually to some lady.

Only probelem is that were both asexual. But i still find women to be beautiful....as in pretty. like art is pretty, i find their bodies beautiful.

Not in a sexual way at all...just...oh heck, see above.

BUt yeah. I am the same way

I would write more, but i am really got to get going

hope to hear from ya!

WoMBaT

P.S.

1. I'm back from my trip 2. will be frequenting more often starting the 1st 3. BOOOYA!!!!!!

GENERAL QUESTIONS!

1. ANYONE IN THE TRIBE OF MIC-O-SAY?!

2. ANYONE INTERESTED IN GOING TO NEW ZEALAND, AUSTRIAILA, SAILING IN THE CARABIEN, OR GOING TO EUROPE FOR A WHILE.

(I am going to do this over a 2 year period cause i need to live my dream....i need to get out there....just wondering if anyone else in interested as a temp traveling partner....more detail to come back later to post)

GOTTA FLY

BUH-BYE!

P.P.S. ANYTIME IS A GOOD TIME TO RHYME!





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2,119 / 4,883
Permalink
drksparkle
drksparkle
Permalink

Re: New Topic

Parent Comment

I have been thinking about asexuality for quite some time now. I am not sure if I fall into this category but I am definitely sure that I am not nearly as sexual as it seems most of society is. It is especially interesting for me to find that there are men who do not feel sexual. That feels like such a paradox to me. I have always viewed most men as being controlled by their hormones and if not controlled, than at least highly sexual. I have been dating this guy for 6 months now. His hormones are definitely raging out of control. He is extremely sexually demanding of me. I have been doing things that I don't want to do and doing them more times than I'd care to all just to please him. But I am having built up resentment over the past few months. Yesterday was another fight about sex. He started this new job that is grave yard shift. he has been really tired because of it. So yesterday I took off work and told him he could sleep at my place a couple hours and that I would stay with him. And of course, instead if sleeping he wanted to have sex. I told him I didn't want to and for once he rolled over and left me alone. We started to try to sleep(or so I thought) and next thing you know he starts jacking off right next to me. He thought I was alseep. I didn't know what to do. I just laid there feeling the bed shake. I couldn't believe that he was so stupid to think that i was actually asleep. ESPECIALLY, with all the movement he was making. I got so angry. Here I am taking off work so that he could get some rest and instead he is jacking off! I ask him what he is doing. He says "nothing". Then I said, " Do you really honestly believe that I didn't know what you were doing?" Then he says, "It's just that I want you so bad. I love you so much." And i am just disgusted. I don't believe that his jacking off has anything to do with his love for me. I really just feel that his hormones are controlling him. It didn't matter if I was there or not. See, I don't know if my getting angry was right or not. Sometimes, I think that I just get mad at him because I am jealous of his sexuality. I feel jealous that I can't feel that way. I have tried to figure out why I don't feel as sexual as most people. This problem is a daily demon for me. I keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I keep thinking if I can just figure out WHY I don't feel sexual then somehow I will start to feel sexual. Is it my childhood? Is it my puritanical mother? Was it my over protective father? Is it society and it's pressures? Is it DNA? Is it all these things? None of these things? I am really confused about my sexuality. Am I a Lesbian? Am I heterosexual? Am I bisexual? Am I asexual? I don't fucking have a clue. I don't know how I could get to the age of 28, with all the sexual experiences I have had and still not know. How could I not know? I am especially interested in what the men on this panel have to say about men, sexuality, and my problem. I have never met a man who didn't like sex.

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There is 1 message in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Hey Alex... From: "Cameron" <cbingham@...>



Message
1
Date
Fri, 27 Jun 2003 20:51:22 -0000
From
"Cameron" <cbingham@...>
Subject
Hey Alex...

Hey there.

I'm cameron...aka, the WoMBaT.

I just want to say that were in the same boat.

I think it is perfectly normal to want to have your own kids. I do...in fact, i want to get married eventually to some lady.

Only probelem is that were both asexual. But i still find women to be beautiful....as in pretty. like art is pretty, i find their bodies beautiful.

Not in a sexual way at all...just...oh heck, see above.

BUt yeah. I am the same way

I would write more, but i am really got to get going

hope to hear from ya!

WoMBaT

P.S.

1. I'm back from my trip 2. will be frequenting more often starting the 1st 3. BOOOYA!!!!!!

GENERAL QUESTIONS!

1. ANYONE IN THE TRIBE OF MIC-O-SAY?!

2. ANYONE INTERESTED IN GOING TO NEW ZEALAND, AUSTRIAILA, SAILING IN THE CARABIEN, OR GOING TO EUROPE FOR A WHILE.

(I am going to do this over a 2 year period cause i need to live my dream....i need to get out there....just wondering if anyone else in interested as a temp traveling partner....more detail to come back later to post)

GOTTA FLY

BUH-BYE!

P.P.S. ANYTIME IS A GOOD TIME TO RHYME!



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I've heard of many, many women having similar experiences to what you've described here. Even women with normal sex drives have had experiences where there male companions seem to be out of control in sex-drive territory. They *do* say that money and sex are the 2 things couples fight about most, and the sex fights usually involve mis-matched levels of desire. I also subscribe to that (bad, bad) stereotype of men being totally controlled by raging hormones. Even as I become less ignorant on the issue, the scores of men I've known who actually are like this still have the most impact on my views. I am not in a position to understand why someone can't go without sex long enough for a 2-hour nap. I don't know if that's normal or not. One of my better female friends used to tell me about how her boyfriend would wake her up in the morning just by starting to have sex with her. I've actually had a couple of female friends tell me that their boyfriends did things like that. I'd cause serious bodily harm to anyone who dared try that with me. It seems like a lot of women (and men, too) put up with things from their partners that they really shouldn't. I hear this more from women, but that's most likely because I really don't talk about such things with men.

I don't know if you'll find the answers to your questions here. Most of us have the same questions. *I'd* be angry and resentful, too, and I think most people would be.

Side note: I just found out last week that I have completely messed up hormone/body chemistry that is quite likely the cause of my lack of sexuality. That's not why I went to the doctor to get checked out...I've had many other health problems over the years that can be attributed to hormone problems. Anyway, I'm on medication finally. Even if my feelings change, I think it's a bit too late for me to start trying to be sexual at this point. I know I'm not old, but in terms of dating, attraction, etc, I feel like an 11-year old. I still feel like I'm not grown up enough to date, and I don't really want to. This is such a big part of my psyche that I don't think any set of pills will make it change. Not that I'm lamenting this...as long as I *feel* better, I'll be happy.

2,120 / 4,883
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pessimisticgrace
pessimisticgrace
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] New Topic

While I consider myself asexual, I think sex CAN be an expression of love.

I know very little of your relationship, but the way he said that.. I don't know, is he a nice guy except for the sexual thing?

I think we need to recognize that we are the "odd ones out," and yes, discrimination/unfairness against us can come from that.. But that it doesn't mean we should label others odd and/or wrong because THEY are sexual.

I'm not saying you hate those who are sexual but.. I think we are who we are. He may be a sexual person, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

What I DO thing is wrong is if he makes you feel guilty. No one can blame another for their feelings, but you certainly can for your actions. He needs to learn to adapt to your situation. If he can't, I guess that's just how things are. But I think he needs to better understand that you just don't want to have sex. There are a lot of myths about women

2,121 / 4,883
Permalink
pessimisticgrace
pessimisticgrace
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] New Topic

Bah, I hit return. This is my message in full:

While I consider myself asexual, I think sex CAN be an expression of love.

I know very little of your relationship, but the way he said that.. I don't know, is he a nice guy except for the sexual thing?

I think we need to recognize that we are the "odd ones out," and yes, discrimination/unfairness against us can come from that.. But that it doesn't mean we should label others odd and/or wrong because THEY are sexual.

I'm not saying you hate those who are sexual but.. I think we are who we are. He may be a sexual person, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

What I DO think is wrong is if he makes you feel guilty. No one can blame another for their feelings, but you certainly can for your actions. He needs to learn to adapt to your situation. If he can't, I guess that's just how things are. But I think he needs to better understand that you just don't want to have sex. There are a lot of myths about women being tired of sex/worn out/having headaches, etc, that might make a man think it's just a woman thing, and that she'll want sex later. Does he understand that this is beyond a tired wife who doesn't feel like screwing around?

I think at this point it's sink or swim. I think you need to lay out the situation, and tell him that if he wants to be with you, he's going to have to learn to live without sex. It's his choice whether he can/wants to do so.

While the jacking off thing sounds tacky, I think it's good-natured. He seemed frustrated and trying to relieve it without bothering you. Maybe he went about it the wrong way, but I certainly don't think his jacking off in certain circumstances is wrong. You have to understand that it's natural for most men, and

2,122 / 4,883
Permalink
pessimisticgrace
pessimisticgrace
Permalink

Ignore the other two darn messages, I keep hitting nter.

Bah, I hit return. This is my message in full:

While I consider myself asexual, I think sex CAN be an expression of love.

I know very little of your relationship, but the way he said that.. I don't know, is he a nice guy except for the sexual thing?

I think we need to recognize that we are the "odd ones out," and yes, discrimination/unfairness against us can come from that.. But that it doesn't mean we should label others odd and/or wrong because THEY are sexual.

I'm not saying you hate those who are sexual but.. I think we are who we are. He may be a sexual person, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

What I DO think is wrong is if he makes you feel guilty. No one can blame another for their feelings, but you certainly can for your actions. He needs to learn to adapt to your situation. If he can't, I guess that's just how things are. But I think he needs to better understand that you just don't want to have sex. There are a lot of myths about women being tired of sex/worn out/having headaches, etc, that might make a man think it's just a woman thing, and that she'll want sex later. Does he understand that this is beyond a tired wife who doesn't feel like screwing around?

I think at this point it's sink or swim. I think you need to lay out the situation, and tell him that if he wants to be with you, he's going to have to learn to live without sex. It's his choice whether he can/wants to do so.

While the jacking off thing sounds tacky, I think it's good-natured. He seemed frustrated and trying to relieve it without bothering you. Maybe he went about it the wrong way, but I certainly don't think his jacking off in certain circumstances is wrong. You have to understand that it's natural for most men, and that he'd be a VERY extraordinary man if he'd stay faithful and just jack off in private.

So I think you need to lay the cards on the table and see what he's willing to do. Just don't try to repress his sexuality entirely. If he jacks off alone, I don't see the harm.

I wish you luck!

2,123 / 4,883
Permalink
eiji001 Master Eiji
eiji001
Master Eiji
Permalink

Anti-Sex League?

I"m not asexual.. though I wish I was...

but I'm puzzled that I dont seem to find any groups for Anti- sexuality...

anyone seen one? even on another system...

2,124 / 4,883
Permalink
bloodyredcommie
bloodyredcommie
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Anti-Sex League?

Parent Comment

I"m not asexual.. though I wish I was...

but I'm puzzled that I dont seem to find any groups for Anti- sexuality...

anyone seen one? even on another system...

There's a stronghold around somewheres.

http://www.ktk.ru/~cm/

-DJ

I"m not asexual.. though I wish I was...

but I'm puzzled that I dont seem to find any groups for Anti- sexuality...

anyone seen one? even on another system...

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autumndian
autumndian
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 313

I think I understand how you feel. I often feel like a freak because of my (i guess) a-sexual tendencies. If I'm sitting with some ladies, and a guy walks by they often say, ooh he's hot, etc. And I just don't get it. I don't see it, I don't notice it. Another thing that has been driving me crazy lately is cheating. There is a woman-friend in my life who has cheated on both her husband and her boyfriend (don't ask). I simply can not fathom why anyone would want to cheat... that is to say if things are health and they were and she still wanted... what? more? I don't know, I don't understand it.

I have just turned 29 so don't feel alone. I am sexed female, genered epicene, and have no sexual preference. I hesitate to say a-sexual entirely because there are times when I do have and enjoy sex. I'm in a FMF triad who are exclusive with each other, we all love and have sex with each other (though not too often) there is no shared or pivot partner, we do not swing. (I don't do anything the traditional way *sighs*)

My boyfriend goes through periods where he is not really interested in sex. Lately he has been interested. I origionally joined this group to see if it would benifit him, but I think it is benifiting me as well.

Blessings,

Autumn

[email protected] wrote:

Sometimes, I think that I just get mad at him because I am jealous of his sexuality. I feel jealous that I can't feel that way. I have tried to figure out why I don't feel as sexual as most people. This problem is a daily demon for me. I keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I keep thinking if I can just figure out WHY I don't feel sexual then somehow I will start to feel sexual. Is it my childhood? Is it my puritanical mother? Was it my over protective father? Is it society and it's pressures? Is it DNA? Is it all these things? None of these things? I am really confused about my sexuality. Am I a Lesbian? Am I heterosexual? Am I bisexual? Am I asexual? I don't fucking have a clue. I don't know how I could get to the age of 28, with all the sexual experiences I have had and still not know. How could I not know? I am especially interested in what the men on this panel have to say about men, sexuality, and my problem. I have never met a man who didn't like sex.

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