Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 313
On occation when my boyfriend has woken up 'ready to go' he has woken me up by starting to have sex with me. I actually don't mind too much. He dose have to take some time to 'get me ready' there are problems with my body and hormones that if he dosen't he'll hurt both of us. What is strange though, allthought he is having sex with me, it is not a sexual thing for me, I don't climax, nor do I feel any kind of desire to. It is more like me cuddling him with my whole body. And he knows that there are times when I'm not 'into it' or what ever, but I don't mind him using/sharing my body. It's not all the time like this, but I hope this makes some kind of sense.
I have really messed up hormones too, and have been on and off medication all my life. When I'm off the medication there are periods of time where I feel like a 'woman', if that makes any sense. They are short periods of time though followed by my body totally becoming a wreck. Allthough I've felt like a 'woman' or womanly it never did anything to alter my desire (or lack there of) for sex. About the only thing it did, and maybe this is what the womanly thing is, is give me twinges of mothering desire. It dosen't happen anymore, and I don't miss it. I'm quite happy the way I am, and I feel it's the way I should be.
Autumn
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com wrote:
am not in a position to understand why someone can't go without sex long enough for a 2-hour nap. I don't know if that's normal or not. One of my better female friends used to tell me about how her boyfriend would wake her up in the morning just by starting to have sex with her. I've actually had a couple of female friends tell me that their boyfriends did things like that. I'd cause serious bodily harm to anyone who dared try that with me. It seems like a lot of women (and men, too) put up with things from their partners that they really shouldn't. I hear this more from women, but that's most likely because I really don't talk about such things with men.
I don't know if you'll find the answers to your questions here. Most of us have the same questions. *I'd* be angry and resentful, too, and I think most people would be.
Side note: I just found out last week that I have completely messed up hormone/body chemistry that is quite likely the cause of my lack of sexuality. That's not why I went to the doctor to get checked out...I've had many other health problems over the years that can be attributed to hormone problems. Anyway, I'm on medication finally. Even if my feelings change, I think it's a bit too late for me to start trying to be sexual at this point. I know I'm not old, but in terms of dating, attraction, etc, I feel like an 11-year old. I still feel like I'm not grown up enough to date, and I don't really want to. This is such a big part of my psyche that I don't think any set of pills will make it change. Not that I'm lamenting this...as long as I *feel* better, I'll be happy.
Pagan Arts Society Living and discussing the Sacred and Secular aspects of the Pagan Lifestyle http://groups.yahoo.com/group/paganartssociety/
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 313
I understand what you're saying. My boyfriend is all about sex and gets very.. antsy if the addiction isn't fed. It'd be kind of like me having a withdrawal from my meds (on some plane, anyway) ... Like you, I don't climax and I don't really have any urge to try to do so. I enjoy the nestled feeling during and the placated man afterwards (and i'm usually in the clear for a few days :P) I'm not doing it for me, which bothers him sometimes.. but it's something we share.. it's difficult to explain, but i think this group understands it better than anyone else.
-s
Sarae Montgomery Copy Editor for hire We're all mad here! saamontg@... 7-8233 (home)
- From
- "Autumn-Diana Standingwolf" <autumndian@...>
- To
- <havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com>
- Sent
- Tuesday, July 01, 2003 10:22 PM
- Subject
- Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 313
On occation when my boyfriend has woken up 'ready to go' he has woken me up by starting to have sex with me. I actually don't mind too much. He dose have to take some time to 'get me ready' there are problems with my body and hormones that if he dosen't he'll hurt both of us. What is strange though, allthought he is having sex with me, it is not a sexual thing for me, I don't climax, nor do I feel any kind of desire to. It is more like me cuddling him with my whole body. And he knows that there are times when I'm not 'into it' or what ever, but I don't mind him using/sharing my body. It's not all the time like this, but I hope this makes some kind of sense.
I have really messed up hormones too, and have been on and off medication all my life. When I'm off the medication there are periods of time where I feel like a 'woman', if that makes any sense. They are short periods of time though followed by my body totally becoming a wreck. Allthough I've felt like a 'woman' or womanly it never did anything to alter my desire (or lack there of) for sex. About the only thing it did, and maybe this is what the womanly thing is, is give me twinges of mothering desire. It dosen't happen anymore, and I don't miss it. I'm quite happy the way I am, and I feel it's the way I should be.
Autumn
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com wrote:
am not in a position to understand why someone can't go without sex long enough for a 2-hour nap. I don't know if that's normal or not. One of my better female friends used to tell me about how her boyfriend would wake her up in the morning just by starting to have sex with her. I've actually had a couple of female friends tell me that their boyfriends did things like that. I'd cause serious bodily harm to anyone who dared try that with me. It seems like a lot of women (and men, too) put up with things from their partners that they really shouldn't. I hear this more from women, but that's most likely because I really don't talk about such things with men.
I don't know if you'll find the answers to your questions here. Most of us have the same questions. *I'd* be angry and resentful, too, and I think most people would be.
Side note: I just found out last week that I have completely messed up hormone/body chemistry that is quite likely the cause of my lack of sexuality. That's not why I went to the doctor to get checked out...I've had many other health problems over the years that can be attributed to hormone problems. Anyway, I'm on medication finally. Even if my feelings change, I think it's a bit too late for me to start trying to be sexual at this point. I know I'm not old, but in terms of dating, attraction, etc, I feel like an 11-year old. I still feel like I'm not grown up enough to date, and I don't really want to. This is such a big part of my psyche that I don't think any set of pills will make it change. Not that I'm lamenting this...as long as I *feel* better, I'll be happy.
Pagan Arts Society Living and discussing the Sacred and Secular aspects of the Pagan Lifestyle http://groups.yahoo.com/group/paganartssociety/
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 313
I understand what you're saying. My boyfriend is all about sex and gets very.. antsy if the addiction isn't fed. It'd be kind of like me having a withdrawal from my meds (on some plane, anyway) ... Like you, I don't climax and I don't really have any urge to try to do so. I enjoy the nestled feeling during and the placated man afterwards (and i'm usually in the clear for a few days :P) I'm not doing it for me, which bothers him sometimes.. but it's something we share.. it's difficult to explain, but i think this group understands it better than anyone else.
-s
Sarae Montgomery Copy Editor for hire We're all mad here! saamontg@... 7-8233 (home)
- From
- "Autumn-Diana Standingwolf" <autumndian@...>
- To
- <havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com>
- Sent
- Tuesday, July 01, 2003 10:22 PM
- Subject
- Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 313
On occation when my boyfriend has woken up 'ready to go' he has woken me up by starting to have sex with me. I actually don't mind too much. He dose have to take some time to 'get me ready' there are problems with my body and hormones that if he dosen't he'll hurt both of us. What is strange though, allthought he is having sex with me, it is not a sexual thing for me, I don't climax, nor do I feel any kind of desire to. It is more like me cuddling him with my whole body. And he knows that there are times when I'm not 'into it' or what ever, but I don't mind him using/sharing my body. It's not all the time like this, but I hope this makes some kind of sense.
I have really messed up hormones too, and have been on and off medication all my life. When I'm off the medication there are periods of time where I feel like a 'woman', if that makes any sense. They are short periods of time though followed by my body totally becoming a wreck. Allthough I've felt like a 'woman' or womanly it never did anything to alter my desire (or lack there of) for sex. About the only thing it did, and maybe this is what the womanly thing is, is give me twinges of mothering desire. It dosen't happen anymore, and I don't miss it. I'm quite happy the way I am, and I feel it's the way I should be.
Autumn
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com wrote:
am not in a position to understand why someone can't go without sex long enough for a 2-hour nap. I don't know if that's normal or not. One of my better female friends used to tell me about how her boyfriend would wake her up in the morning just by starting to have sex with her. I've actually had a couple of female friends tell me that their boyfriends did things like that. I'd cause serious bodily harm to anyone who dared try that with me. It seems like a lot of women (and men, too) put up with things from their partners that they really shouldn't. I hear this more from women, but that's most likely because I really don't talk about such things with men.
I don't know if you'll find the answers to your questions here. Most of us have the same questions. *I'd* be angry and resentful, too, and I think most people would be.
Side note: I just found out last week that I have completely messed up hormone/body chemistry that is quite likely the cause of my lack of sexuality. That's not why I went to the doctor to get checked out...I've had many other health problems over the years that can be attributed to hormone problems. Anyway, I'm on medication finally. Even if my feelings change, I think it's a bit too late for me to start trying to be sexual at this point. I know I'm not old, but in terms of dating, attraction, etc, I feel like an 11-year old. I still feel like I'm not grown up enough to date, and I don't really want to. This is such a big part of my psyche that I don't think any set of pills will make it change. Not that I'm lamenting this...as long as I *feel* better, I'll be happy.
Pagan Arts Society Living and discussing the Sacred and Secular aspects of the Pagan Lifestyle http://groups.yahoo.com/group/paganartssociety/
Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month!
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I understand what you're saying. My boyfriend is all about sex and gets very.. antsy if the addiction isn't fed.
I'm indifferent to sex. My girlfriend (if I can call her that) knows this, and appreciates the fact that I don't put any kind of pressure on her to have sex with her. She knows that I hang out with her simply because we enjoy each other's company. She is intelligent, has a delightfully warped sense of humour, and (like me) is a rabid science-fiction fan. We're more like two really close friends than anything else; the most physical we get is that sometimes we hold hands.
One time a few months ago, she and I were browsing through a bookstore, and there was a rack with all sorts of small books, all of them 2 or 3 inches tall. Including several from the "... For Dummies" series. She notices "Sex For Dummies" as one of the titles and mentions it. I reach for it, but just as I pick it up, I notice "Cats For Dummies". So I put the Sex book down while exclaiming, "Oh, cool! Cats For Dummies!" and pick it up. She thought that was very funny.
glenn
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: SPAM
To the owner..
Ignore the idiocy suggesting people spam you. That's stupid. They're no better than SPAMers.
To the riot-suggesting poster:
Every group gets SPAM. There is NO WAY to stop it entirely.
It sickens me how people expect moderators, whose groups would not EXIST if not for them, to babysit and police every single thing.
Do us a favor and hit delete and stop suggesting some silly, self-centered riot against the owner. You're lucky the group exists.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 316
<< I have hit a plateu and wonder if i will ever reach my goal of being a truly sexual being. I just don't know if it is possible to de-program completely. >>
Er, no offense, but why are you on this list then? ^_^ It's not exactly designed for "becoming" sexual. There's nothing wrong with being asexual. As long as you understand this isn't a therapy or recovery list or anything. ^_^
And I definately believe you can be born without sexual interest. I was. ;)
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 316
HOw many of you feel that there is truly a group of people born without the ability to feel sexual or do you feel the lack of sexual desire is attributed to other causes, like hormonal imbalances, child abuse, sexual or otherwise, growing up in a puritanical environment etc. etc.
For me, I am positive that my lack of sexual desire started because of my religious, puritanical mother always teaching me that sexual feelings are bad. I have spent 10 years now trying to de-program myself. I have been successful to a point. I have hit a plateu and wonder if i will ever reach my goal of being a truly sexual being. I just don't know if it is possible to de-program completely.
WHAT ARE ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT?
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Topics in this digest:
1. Re: Re: SPAM From: pessimisticgrace@...
- Message
- 1
- Date
- Fri, 4 Jul 2003 02:08:46 EDT
- From
- pessimisticgrace@...
- Subject
- Re: Re: SPAM
To the owner..
Ignore the idiocy suggesting people spam you. That's stupid. They're no better than SPAMers.
To the riot-suggesting poster:
Every group gets SPAM. There is NO WAY to stop it entirely.
It sickens me how people expect moderators, whose groups would not EXIST if not for them, to babysit and police every single thing.
Do us a favor and hit delete and stop suggesting some silly, self-centered riot against the owner. You're lucky the group exists.
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month! http://sbc.yahoo.com
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 316
<< I have hit a plateu and wonder if i will ever reach my goal of being a truly sexual being. I just don't know if it is possible to de-program completely. >>
Er, no offense, but why are you on this list then? ^_^ It's not exactly designed for "becoming" sexual. There's nothing wrong with being asexual. As long as you understand this isn't a therapy or recovery list or anything. ^_^
And I definately believe you can be born without sexual interest. I was. ;)
I think its alright to have a discussion about becoming sexual, here. It looks like it is really a discussion about coping with, dealing with having less-to-none in the area of sexual desire. I'm betting there are gay people out there wishing they weren't gay, for instance. I'm not sure thats an equal comparison, but its all just people's ways of coping and understanding. It is hard for some people to cope with - pretty much anything that isn't "normal" to society is hard to deal with for most people, and they have different ways of coping. If I found out I had a hormonal imbalance, would I look into having it fixed? Yeah, probably. But anyway, I think, just as an alternative, I hope everyone understand that its ok to not have sexual feelings. If somehow I knew it wasn't from some kind of trauma or imbalance or whatever that I look for sex, if somehow I knew it was just "my personality", I'd have no problem embracing it. I think its a valid option, even for those who were raised "puritanically". Of course, I don't really much care for anti-sexual attitudes, or ones that seek to insult or oppress the more sexual people. But believing that sex is wrong for your own self, I think, is fine in most cases. I'm sure relationships can be as good or better. And with luck, maybe I'll prove it myself someday ;)
<< I have hit a plateu and wonder if i will ever reach my goal of being a truly sexual being. I just don't know if it is possible to de-program completely. >>
Er, no offense, but why are you on this list then? ^_^ It's not exactly designed for "becoming" sexual. There's nothing wrong with being asexual. As long as you understand this isn't a therapy or recovery list or anything. ^_^
And I definately believe you can be born without sexual interest. I was. ;)
Re: desperatly seeking...
Hi to all of you, my name is alex and i am 27 years old male, and i am new here, as you can see, i found this group in my intention of finding some one who can understand me, sometimes i think i am alone and that i am the only one who think sex is not the most important in this live, in fact i have learned to live without sex, because i suffer from impotence, but i still have feeling and romantic sentations, so i am looking for a woman who want to share her live with me forever, i dont want to be alone anymore, because i know who live with me is gonna be happy forever, please replay, i accept any suggestions and answer...
my mail
subiluliuma@...
bye alex
Hi to all of you, my name is alex and i am 27 years old male, and i am new here, as you can see, i found this group in my intention of finding some one who can understand me, sometimes i think i am alone and that i am the only one who think sex is not the most important in this live, in fact i have learned to live without sex, because i suffer from impotence, but i still have feeling and romantic sentations, so i am looking for a woman who want to share her live with me forever, i dont want to be alone anymore, because i know who live with me is gonna be happy forever, please replay, i accept any suggestions and answer...
my mail
subiluliuma@h...
bye alex
I'm in the same boat as u. I'm looking for a relationship that dosen't have 2 involve sex.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 316
HOw many of you feel that there is truly a group of people born without the ability to feel sexual or do you feel the lack of sexual desire is attributed to other causes, like hormonal imbalances, child abuse, sexual or otherwise, growing up in a puritanical environment etc. etc.
For me, I am positive that my lack of sexual desire started because of my religious, puritanical mother always teaching me that sexual feelings are bad. I have spent 10 years now trying to de-program myself. I have been successful to a point. I have hit a plateu and wonder if i will ever reach my goal of being a truly sexual being. I just don't know if it is possible to de-program completely.
WHAT ARE ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT?
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com said:------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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There is 1 message in this issue.
Topics in this digest:
1. Re: Re: SPAM From: pessimisticgrace@...
- Message
- 1
- Date
- Fri, 4 Jul 2003 02:08:46 EDT
- From
- pessimisticgrace@...
- Subject
- Re: Re: SPAM
To the owner..
Ignore the idiocy suggesting people spam you. That's stupid. They're no better than SPAMers.
To the riot-suggesting poster:
Every group gets SPAM. There is NO WAY to stop it entirely.
It sickens me how people expect moderators, whose groups would not EXIST if not for them, to babysit and police every single thing.
Do us a favor and hit delete and stop suggesting some silly, self-centered riot against the owner. You're lucky the group exists.
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month! http://sbc.yahoo.com
HOw many of you feel that there is truly a group of people born without the ability to feel sexual or do you feel the lack of sexual desire is attributed to other causes, like hormonal imbalances, child abuse, sexual or otherwise, growing up in a puritanical environment etc. etc.
Me.
For me, I am positive that my lack of sexual desire started because of my religious, puritanical mother always teaching me that sexual feelings are bad. I have spent 10 years now trying to de-program myself. I have been successful to a point. I have hit a plateu and wonder if i will ever reach my goal of being a truly sexual being. I just don't know if it is possible to de-program completely.
WHAT ARE ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT?
I was raised in a non-religious household (it wasn't until I was in the third grade that I even heard about "God"). I was taught that sex is a natural part of life. I was never taught shame about one's body. I was never abused in any way, sexual or otherwise.
In spite of all this, I have a negligible sex drive.
glenn
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Looking 4 Love, not sex!
Hi, this is alex, want to talk to you, e mail me to
subiluliuma@hotmail.com
Hi All, Anyone in Texas? I'm a single, loyal, caring, honest, and sensitive country girl. Anyone out there looking for companionship that dosen't have to involve sex???
If so, where r u???
Still searching,
Reesa (Reesa861)
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 316
<< I think its alright to have a discussion about becoming sexual,
here. >>
Well, it can be harmful to people who think they're strange because they're not sexual to hear that someone WANTS to become sexual. It can make them feel more alienated and repressed.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 321
Are their any asexuals in the DC/northern VA area? I am a female 28 yrs old lookinf for friendship with male or female.
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1. Re: Looking 4 Love, not sex! From: alexander hernandez <ahernandez20022001@...>
- Message
- 1
- Date
- Wed, 9 Jul 2003 05:30:39 -0300 (ART)
- From
- alexander hernandez <ahernandez20022001@...>
- Subject
- Re: Looking 4 Love, not sex!
Hi, this is alex, want to talk to you, e mail me to
subiluliuma@...
teddybear16203 said:Hi All, Anyone in Texas? I'm a single, loyal, caring, honest, and sensitive country girl. Anyone out there looking for companionship that dosen't have to involve sex???
If so, where r u???
Still searching,
Reesa (Reesa861)
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 322
"It can be harmful to people that think they are strange because they are not sexual..."
- The original email was sent by a person who does feel extremely "strange" about not feeling sexual. This feeling is what prompted the email in the first place. I am sure I am not the only person in this group to have dealt with feelings of inadequacy because of my lack of sexual desire. I am sure I am not the only person in this group that has wanted to find out WHY, in hopes that the answers to that question will reverse his/her condition. We are all at different levels of acceptance of our asexuality. Seems like most people in this group have accepted their lack of sexual desire and have moved on. I have not reached that point yet. I am not going to accept something without first having tried every option to reverse my condition. If then i still lack sexual desire then i will accept this fate. I am sure that many people have felt the way I do at some point towards their acceptance of their asexuality and this makes it a valid conversation in this forum.
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There are 3 messages in this issue.
Topics in this digest:
1. Re: Digest Number 316 From: pessimisticgrace@... 2. she is the sexiest yet! From: lynncome02@... 3. Re: Digest Number 321 From: No One <cidalrain@...>
- Message
- 1
- Date
- Wed, 9 Jul 2003 22:59:18 EDT
- From
- pessimisticgrace@...
- Subject
- Re: Digest Number 316
<< I think its alright to have a discussion about becoming sexual,
here. >>
Well, it can be harmful to people who think they're strange because they're not sexual to hear that someone WANTS to become sexual. It can make them feel more alienated and repressed.
- Message
- 2
- Date
- (unknown)
- From
- lynncome02@...
- Subject
- she is the sexiest yet!
hey this girl has the sexiest set of eyes i have ever seen??
how about you
http://www.redgalleries.com/0006/index.html?refid=100531
damn i want her!!!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eroticsingles
havenforthehumanamoeba
- Message
- 3
- Date
- Thu, 10 Jul 2003 18:50:56 -0700 (PDT)
- From
- No One <cidalrain@...>
- Subject
- Re: Digest Number 321
Are their any asexuals in the DC/northern VA area? I am a female 28 yrs old lookinf for friendship with male or female.
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com said:------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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There is 1 message in this issue.
Topics in this digest:
1. Re: Looking 4 Love, not sex! From: alexander hernandez <ahernandez20022001@...>
- Message
- 1
- Date
- Wed, 9 Jul 2003 05:30:39 -0300 (ART)
- From
- alexander hernandez <ahernandez20022001@...>
- Subject
- Re: Looking 4 Love, not sex!
Hi, this is alex, want to talk to you, e mail me to
subiluliuma@...
teddybear16203 said:Hi All, Anyone in Texas? I'm a single, loyal, caring, honest, and sensitive country girl. Anyone out there looking for companionship that dosen't have to involve sex???
If so, where r u???
Still searching,
Reesa (Reesa861)
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asexuals wanting to become sexual...
Well, I haven't posted here in a while due to lots of computer problems and a NASTY EVIL VIRUS that ranks up their beyond nimbda....and that is saying something. But anyway... I agree with cidalrain. I also would like to become sexual toward people (unrelated fetishes). I think that would be nice. And i don't belive it stems from people thinking i am weird or an inadiquiciy of any kind. I think it stems from me knowing that most women like sex. and i am the type of person that is a sucker for making people happy. But i wonder if that would still be true if i wasn't asexual. Interesting... But I still belive that it wouldn't hurt....maybe....Hmm... Nevermind to everything i have said. Another possible reason why i would like to become sexual is that i am afraid. One day i would like to be married to a woman i love...not for the sex...but for her. I would like to spend the rest of my life with that someone. Maybe the reason i would like to be sexual is that I am afraid that because of my lack of sexual desire, i will never find that person and never be married. You know what, I think that is the real reason. I see much more possibility of getting married and maybe even having children if i were sexual. But i'm not. Well, mostly not. I still find the female body attractive and beautiful...but not in THAT way. I wonder if this is what other asexuals wishing to become sexual feel?
feed back?
Anyway... gotta go!
B C N U
Cameron.
Re: asexuals wanting to become sexual...
Well, I haven't posted here in a while due to lots of computer problems and a NASTY EVIL VIRUS that ranks up their beyond nimbda....and that is saying something. But anyway... I agree with cidalrain. I also would like to become sexual toward people (unrelated fetishes). I think that would be nice. And i don't belive it stems from people thinking i am weird or an inadiquiciy of any kind. I think it stems from me knowing that most women like sex. and i am the type of person that is a sucker for making people happy. But i wonder if that would still be true if i wasn't asexual. Interesting... But I still belive that it wouldn't hurt....maybe....Hmm... Nevermind to everything i have said. Another possible reason why i would like to become sexual is that i am afraid. One day i would like to be married to a woman i love...not for the sex...but for her. I would like to spend the rest of my life with that someone. Maybe the reason i would like to be sexual is that I am afraid that because of my lack of sexual desire, i will never find that person and never be married. You know what, I think that is the real reason. I see much more possibility of getting married and maybe even having children if i were sexual. But i'm not. Well, mostly not. I still find the female body attractive and beautiful...but not in THAT way. I wonder if this is what other asexuals wishing to become sexual feel?
feed back?
Anyway... gotta go!
B C N U
Cameron.
Well, I haven't posted here in a while due to lots of computer problems and a NASTY EVIL VIRUS that ranks up their beyond nimbda....and that is saying something. But anyway... I agree with cidalrain. I also would like to become sexual toward people (unrelated fetishes). I think that would be nice. <...>
that is the real reason. I see much more possibility of getting married and maybe even having children if i were sexual. But i'm not. Well, mostly not. I still find the female body attractive and beautiful...but not in THAT way. I wonder if this is what other asexuals wishing to become sexual feel?
feed back?
I'm not wishing to become sexual. I have a very low sex drive, low enough that I can usually ignore it. The woman I'm dating knows this, and it doesn't bother her any. We're barely at the hand-holding stage as it is anyway. My interest in her is that she's a fun person to be with -- intelligent, attractive, a delightfully warped sense of humour, as much of a sci-fi geek as I am... I can foresee some point in the future where she might want to have sex with me. And if that should ever happen, I'll go along with it. I'd probably even enjoy it. But if she never broaches the subject, chances are I never will either.
Glenn
Does anyone have any theories as to why many of us perusing this board are asexual? Do you think that maybe other so-called "sexual" people aren't that interested in sex either but they are conforming to societal expectations? Or are we really the odd ones out?
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] (unknown)
i think some of us here ARE conforming in some way... i call it "appeasing the beast".. he puts up with me when I'm cycling or psychotic (bipolar with wonderful add-ons) and tries to make me feel better.. and I let him get his release now and then - it calms him down and makes him much easier to deal with... and it's not really *that* bad.. but usually afterward i'm like "Okay, too much closeness.. leave me the Fuck alone!" and he'll back off. I think we all make some sacrifices for our loved ones throughout relationships, but knowing that you have the ability to make someone feel better (whether it's calling off from work to deliver soup and crackers, coming to visit them in the hospital or giving them a shoulder when you really just want to be alone.. and things further on down the line.. you do it because you love them
JMHO -s
Sarae Montgomery Copy Editor for hire We're all mad here! saamontg@... 7-8233 (home)
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- [Haven for the Human Amoeba] (unknown)
Does anyone have any theories as to why many of us perusing this board are asexual? Do you think that maybe other so-called "sexual" people aren't that interested in sex either but they are conforming to societal expectations? Or are we really the odd ones out?
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] (unknown)
<< I think we all make some sacrifices for our loved ones throughout
relationships, but knowing that you have the ability to make someone feel
better (whether it's calling off from work to deliver soup and crackers,
coming to visit them in the hospital or giving them a shoulder when you
really just want to be alone.. and things further on down the line.. you do
it because you love them >>
I think it depends on your viewpoint.
All those things you just described would be joys to me, not sacrifices. Anything I could do without causing serious harm to myself, to make someone I loved happy.. It would be a joy to me, to know I made them happy.
I think visiting someone you're with when they're in the hospital is basic. It sickened me when my aunt got sick. My parents went there, and when she woke up from surgery, she started crying because she didn't think anyone would be there when she woke up. Her husband wouldn't come. That just disgusts me, for a husband not to go to the hospital when his wife is sick. It's such a basic concept to me.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 322
<< Seems like most people in this group have accepted their lack of sexual desire and have moved on. I have not reached that point yet. I am not going to accept something without first having tried every option to reverse my condition. >>
See, not everybody considers it a "condition" or something to "fix." I think asexuality is to be celebrated. And I think people who say "condition" can influence those who were otherwise fine with their asexuality, because it can make them wonder if they're strange.
There's nothing wrong with asexuality.
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 325
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com wrote:
- Message
- 1 I'm not wishing to become sexual. I have a very low sex drive,
low enough that I can usually ignore it. The woman I'm dating
knows this, and it doesn't bother her any. We're barely at the
hand-holding stage as it is anyway. My interest in her is that
she's a fun person to be with -- intelligent, attractive, a
delightfully warped sense of humour, as much of a sci-fi geek
as I am... I can foresee some point in the future where she
might want to have sex with me. And if that should ever happen,
I'll go along with it. I'd probably even enjoy it. But if she
never broaches the subject, chances are I never will either.
Glenn
ironic.. I have a large sex drive that I wish I didnt have..
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] (unknown)
All those things you just described would be joys to me, not sacrifices. Anything I could do without causing serious harm to myself, to make someone I loved happy.. It would be a joy to me, to know I made them happy.
I dunno.. I consider a lot of things sacrifices. This is probably because I've got so few things that mean anything to me individually. The hospital thing though.. I think i was mostly thinking in terms (wow, freudian slip. I typed "germs") of distanced relationships. I have college full time and my boyfriend works 90 hours a week (plus he travels a lot for it).. and I mean more than merely stopping by the hospital, but staying there.. either being there throughout the operation or sitting by you when you're still out.. staying longer to make sure you're okay. I don't have much to give and I don't have much to give myself either.
I agree about the husband not coming to the hospital... something's not right there. *sigh* need more sleep, probably not making any sense -s
I think visiting someone you're with when they're in the hospital is basic. It sickened me when my aunt got sick. My parents went there, and when she woke up from surgery, she started crying because she didn't think anyone would be there when she woke up. Her husband wouldn't come. That just disgusts me, for a husband not to go to the hospital when his wife is sick. It's such a basic concept to me.
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Any women here looking for marriage and children?
Hi, I'm new to the group. I'm sorry if this breaks any rules, but I'd like to post a personal ad. Perhaps someone knows of a better forum?
I'm a 37-year-old SWM financially stable professional who is looking for a woman who would like to get married and have children, with or without the help of science. My interests include movies (sci-fi, pop, artsy), travel, music (classical, pop, theater), bridge, history, science, and current events, and I've just restarted tennis. I'm agnostic and I'm respectful of private beliefs. I'm 6'3" 210 lbs. If it sounds like we have something in common, please email me.
Thanks for reading.
hi
1. Does anyone know what's going on with Asexualpals.com? Is it a site in formation or is it a failed enterprise? Any idea what city they were launching from or who the owner is? 2. Feel free to post a personal ad on the newly created Yahoo Group, PlatonicAsexual
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 322
<< Seems like most people in this group have accepted their lack of sexual desire and have moved on. I have not reached that point yet. I am not going to accept something without first having tried every option to reverse my condition. >>
See, not everybody considers it a "condition" or something to "fix." I think asexuality is to be celebrated. And I think people who say "condition" can influence those who were otherwise fine with their asexuality, because it can make them wonder if they're strange.
There's nothing wrong with asexuality.
i havent been posting for a while. i just read a few messages.
as for "going from" asexual to sexual. dont let a label to control you. if you feel it, want it, then go for it. noone here is going to look at you weird.
i had been quite interested in a few girls, i even want to have sex with them, (but didnt happened, cause didnt work out) i still think sex is just a phase of a relationship, i value the relationship itself million times more than sex. sex is really over- rated i think.
i can chat with the girl all night, hug her, hold her (or being held) i feel more satifying than anything else.
-francis
<< Seems like most people in this group have accepted their lack of sexual desire and have moved on. I have not reached that point yet. I am not going to accept something without first having tried every option to reverse my condition. >>
See, not everybody considers it a "condition" or something to "fix." I think asexuality is to be celebrated. And I think people who say "condition" can influence those who were otherwise fine with their asexuality, because it can make them wonder if they're strange.
There's nothing wrong with asexuality.