Haven for the Human Amoeba

Hmm, I must say that I don't think a pill would change a thing. If it would change some things, it would not change other things that cause me to be Asexual.

I've always been this way. In fact I can be attracted to someone but have NO desire to get physical in a bedroom situation. NOT!

Jen

Hypothetical question: If hormone problems were found to be a reason for your asexuality, would you change it? Or leave it alone?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I don't think narcissism (a character trait) has anything to do with being Asexual which is a form of sexual orientation or part of ones sexual orientation. I believe narcissism prevails through out most of one's personality, perspective in life and so on.

Jen

In a message dated 11/30/03 8:07:22 PM Central Standard Time, nargothic@... writes:

Interesting how this topic came up after... months?! :-)

I think it would be very interesting if everyone could check this article:

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq6 4_2.html

"If this pattern of regression persists and prevails, a narcissistic neurosis is formed. The narcissist stimulates his self habitually in order to derive pleasure and gratification. He prefers this mode of deriving gratification to others. He is "lazy" because he takes the "easy" route of resorting to his self and reinvesting his libidinal resources "in-house" rather than making an effort (and risking failure) to seek out libidinal objects other than his self. The narcissist prefers fantasy land to reality, grandiose self-conception to realistic appraisal, masturbation and fantasies to mature adult sex and daydreaming to real life achievements."

Can someone become asexual because of a narcissistic personality? What do you think?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

This is a very different perspective in life than I have. I hate living alone but at one time I did like it quite a bit. What I have noticed is that I do need more time to myself than most people. I need several alone times everyday.

I have an apartment and I stay with my folks 5 days a week. I've noticed both my mother and I tend to do a lot of things alone and we have other things we do together.

I am 47 and do not want to live alone. So I am likely not nearly as solitary as some of you may be.

Jen

E-mail is only effective if the other person has it. Not everyone has it. But I work on the computer and talk on the phone for 8 hours a day. Every now and again, I like to go out with someone who has a face and a voice. On the other hand, I don't want to live with them (I don't want to live with anyone) or see them every day. And I don't want them to freak out if I haven't called them in a few days. My best friend and I see each other twice or three times a year and we live in the same city! We're both rather solitary, she more than I.

I know what you mean. I live alone and wouldn't have it any other way -- just the thought of sharing my living space gives me the willies. Which is the biggest reason I am still single at age 41. But I don't mind having a friend over once in a while to watch movies or whatever.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Yes, a person can be straight, bi or gay/lesbian and Asexual at the same time. I have a friend who lives in the foot hills. She is very straight and absolutely Asexual.

I on the other hand am Lesbian and absolutely Asexual.

If I were to have a relationship, I would be more comfortable with a woman although I must say that I have not known Asexual men in my life outside of a computer so this may not be as true as I think it is.

Jen

And while I'm on the topic, can one be both gay or lesbian and assexual?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

And, did you tell them that you are asexual? I am also accepted in the lesbian community here but, I did not (yet) tell them that I am asexual. At this moment, I don't feel good at it anymore. I think they won't accept me there anymore if I tell the truth. On the other hand, I can't stand it anymore to be seen as someone that I am not. If people accept me, I want them to accept me for what I am.

The difficult part of telling in a lesbian community (or a gay one) for me is the fact that such groups are grounded on the base that all people in that group have "the same sexual orientation". If you say there you are asexual, you don't fall under that orientation, so, in fact, what reason do you have to be part of them? I see 2 reasons: the fact that you are both belonging to a (different) minority-group and the fact that I like being with women. But, is that enough for them?

That's pretty much the way it is for me. I publicly identify as bisexual. I have an equal lack of interest in both sexes. :)

Seriously, though, where I work there is a large GLBT community, and I've been accepted as being one of their ilk.

glenn

And, did you tell them that you are asexual?

No. But a few who are my closest friends also know that I have very little interest in sex. In fact, it was one of them (a lesbian friend) who came up with the line "bisexual in theory, asexual in practice". She sees nothing wrong with it, nor does she see it as any kind of contradiction.

I am also accepted in the lesbian community here but, I did not (yet) tell them that I am asexual. At this moment, I don't feel good at it anymore. I think they won't accept me there anymore if I tell the truth.

Then don't tell them. I've always believed that it is not a lie to keep the truth to oneself.

On the other hand, I can't stand it anymore to be seen as someone that I am not. If people accept me, I want them to accept me for what I am.

They already do -- you're a woman who likes being with other women. Sex is only part of the picture. And for you, it's an unimportant one. There's also emotional attraction. From what I gather from your post, you would prefer another woman when it comes to emotional closeness. Which, in my book, is enough for you to consider yourself as a lesbian.

The difficult part of telling in a lesbian community (or a gay one) for me is the fact that such groups are grounded on the base that all people in that group have "the same sexual orientation". If you say there you are asexual, you don't fall under that orientation, so, in fact, what reason do you have to be part of them? I see 2 reasons: the fact that you are both belonging to a (different) minority-group and the fact that I like being with women. But, is that enough for them?

The second reason you cite should be enough.

I'm bisexual. It means I can look at men and think "wow, he's really attractive" the same way I can look at women and think "wow, she's really attractive". The fact that I don't want to have sex with either one of them is beside the point.

glenn

I'm bisexual. It means I can look at men and think "wow, he's really attractive" the same way I can look at women and think "wow, she's really attractive". The fact that I don't want to have sex with either one of them is beside the point.

and my family find it odd that I show no interest in women.. despite I have the "urges" (which I regard as "BELOW HUMAN")

In my experience deafness plays no role in how social one may or may not be.

Hmm, interesting. Thank you for your perspective! I'll have to ask my Deaf friend who is a psychologist what she thinks about this too.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Oops. I submitted this answer before I was ready to. Mods, if it appears elsewhere, just delete the other one.

In the experiences of a person not living with hearing impairments, it doesn't make sense to how social a person is/isn't. I'll attempt to explain it a bit better. Perhaps it depends on the type of deafness, what I have is sound interference. My ears don't filter so the sound of the keys I'm typing right now is at the same level as my co-workers' talking. (my mum has tinnitus so her hearing is always competing with loud ringing - I feel I'm luckier than she is because the competitive sounds at least vary)

Consider a lot of socialising is done in bars/clubs, social gatherings, dances and groups. I can't have conversation with one person because it's noisy, the bunch of them are laughing and when I ask what was so funny they don't have the time to explain it because the moment is lost. There's a bunch of noise going on around and that's all it is...noise. Movies are lost on me unless I'm in a home with captioned telly, watching it alone or with only one other person who will shut the hell up and let me concentrate. Everything makes noise. If I'm talking to someone and someone pulls a drawer open, it competes with the sound of the person's voice, if a person is rustling a bag (esp. the plastic shopping ones) I can't hear a voice, I can't make out pages...and if I'm talking to someone and a PA announcement is made, I can't hear the page OR the person I'm talking to. Walking with someone who is wearing a swishy material jacket, I can't hear them talking. Going out for supper one on one is fine, as long as they don't sit me next to the kitchen, bussing station, people with kids or large parties so we're pretty limited in where we can sit. I LOVE going out with my friend who knows sign-language, we sit and "talk our hands off".

My solitary nature isn't because of my deafness, it's a family trait, actually. When I get together with one person, it's great, there's just no point in going out with a group. I feel like a burden when I'm with them, like they have to 'slow down' for me. I don't CRAVE going out with a group but other people do and I can see where that affects them greatly.

Perhaps that explains a bit how some people are immensely affected by deafness.

I just did another google.com search for anti-sexuality..

and all I find are either references to a band called "anti-sex league" or to the book "Ninteen Eighty-Four"

Then don't tell them. I've always believed that it is not a lie to keep the truth to oneself.

Hm, yeah, this is a nice way to see it. I think you are right.

They already do -- you're a woman who likes being with other women. Sex is only part of the picture. And for you, it's an unimportant one. There's also emotional attraction. From what I gather from your post, you would prefer another woman when it comes to emotional closeness. Which, in my book, is enough for you to consider yourself as a lesbian.

That all depends what you understand under "emotional closeness". I have a lot of female friend with whom I share emotional things. Most of them however are hetero. A lot of hetero-women have deep emotional friendships with women, but this is not enough reason for them to feel themselves lesbian. I do not fall in love with men, I do not fall in love with women, but my most close friendships are all with women. I still find it strange to call myself because of that lesbian.

However, it is true that I have a lot of things in common with lesbians: I am rather a tomboy-type, I don't talk all the time about a husband / kids (since I don't have them and don't want them), I have to make my own living, I am a woman for who women come on the first place , ... This makes that my lifestyle is rather lesbian- like. I don't have a lifestyle of a hetero-woman.

But still, I still don't think lesbian is a word that fits me. (it is - as I mentioned in a previous post - to much a sexual word, with a sexual meaning, having the implication that you fall in love with women).

I see 2 reasons: the fact that you are both belonging to a (different) minority-group and the fact that I like being with women. But, is that enough for them?

The second reason you cite should be enough.

Yes, for me. For them I doubt it (but you are right, they don't have to know).

I'm bisexual. It means I can look at men and think "wow, he's really attractive" the same way I can look at women and think "wow, she's really attractive". The fact that I don't want to have sex with either one of them is beside the point.

Purely from the outside, I can also find men and women attractive, although this does not happen a lot. It is a kind of esthetical appreciation, it has nothing to do with sexual attractiveness. In fact, I don't know what people feel if they say that they find someone sexually attractive. I sometimes just would like to know how that feels.

All together, I think you have an interesting way of looking at these things.

I don't think narcissism (a character trait) has anything to do with being Asexual which is a form of sexual orientation or part of ones sexual orientation. I believe narcissism prevails through out most of one's personality, perspective in life and so on.

Jen

So you are saying personality or character has no influence on a person's sexuality, is that what you are saying?

I suggested this topic (which has totally turned aside, look at the thread without the "Are we narcsissistic") because it is possible that people who direct their libido towards their subject - and not towards an object - may become asexual if all this libido (libido = "life will") is directed to themselves.

And what is Freud's definition of an introvert? - A person who directs his libido towards himself.

I LOVE going out with my friend who knows sign-language, we sit and "talk our hands off".

Yeah, me too! But I do get tired after awhile and desire some time alone so I guess it isn't just my hearing loss that causes me to be a loner.

My solitary nature isn't because of my deafness, it's a family trait, actually. When I get together with one person, it's great, there's just no point in going out with a group. I feel like a burden when I'm with them, like they have to 'slow down' for me. I don't CRAVE going out with a group but other people do and I can see where that affects them greatly.

My family is probably middle of the road. They aren't great party goers and socializers, but they can go to parties and have fun for awhile. I have an uncle though that if you take him to a party, he falls asleep! It has nothing to do with age, it's just that he's bored and that's how he deals with it. I think he and I are somewhat similar. From my perspective, only about ten percent of what people say is important, the rest is just making noise to keep interaction going. Since I can't hear well, I may watch people's body language as they interact with others.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

And what is Freud's definition of an introvert? - A person who directs his libido towards himself.

I don't think Freud knew half of what he was talking about, I much prefer Jung.

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 20:55:53 -0000, "nargothic"

I don't think Freud knew half of what he was talking about, I much prefer Jung.

***then again, I feel I know myself better than the both of them do***

---

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@c... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

tlshell@c... said:

On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 20:55:53 -0000, "nargothic"

I don't think Freud knew half of what he was talking about, I much prefer Jung.

freud was a joke... under his ideas, everyone is loco to some extent. (you have to ask yourself "What is sane?")

as for me.. I've been introverted all my life.. wouldnt call myself asexual.. but I think that would have some definate advantages.. for starters, I wouldnt be pressured to date... and I"d no longer be part of the male race (a criminaly incurable race of Savages if you ask me... I'm sick of being accused of just impersonating a sentient lifeform)

What is this, a deafies convention?

I was born with a significant hearing loss that worsened over time until I finally required a cochlear implant. One of my pet peeves when I was growing up was people who assumed that my shyness or whatever was an issue of the barriers that hearing loss poses to communication. The real issue was a lot more complicated than that, and took some therapy to resolve when I entered adulthood. As for amoeba-ness, it's a natural part of me and I would be reluctant to attribute any of it to my hearing loss. I don't know any sign language, and relied very heavily on lipreading before I received my implant. Still, I am not naturally shy, and know that shyness is for me a symptom of something other than the mere challenges of communication.

Despite my amoeba-ness, I can still appreciate a joke I hear: The cool thing about going to a deafies convention is that everyone has vibrators (that is, vibrating alarm clocks).

Anyone ever consider "coming out" to friends about amoeba-ness? It doesn't really seem necessary... it's not like GLB folks who have to either hide what they are doing or come out. We don't have to hide anything we're doing as we aren't doing anything. On the other hand it is somewhat annoying to be assumed heterosexual, and to be subject to questions along those lines.

I don't consider my hearing situation to be any part of my asexuality but someone asked about how many people feel solitary because of their lack of hearing. I just wanted to clarify it is all. My favourite joke is "Hey, I just got a new hearing aid, it works great." "Yeah? What kind is it?" "Eight o'clock" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

My asexuality is the way God wired me. I stayed away from therapy for the most of it. I noticed that a lot of them were looking for a 'cure'. I didn't talk about my asexuality to them but they all seemed to think I was miserable because I wasn't 1/2 of a team, so I just walked away. My asexuality wasn't what took me there, I didn't feel it was relevant to what I was there for.

I don't 'come out'. I would if anyone asked but, like you said it's not necessary and they don't ask. Some have asked if I'm lesbian and I've said no and leave it at that. The only time you would need to discuss it would be if someone wants to start 'getting physical'. Because I've not had the desire to get a situation hot & horny enough to GET physical - the topic doesn't come up. I would LIKE to be able to go for a walk with a female friend and hold her hand but of course (a) I don't have any asexual friends here (b) if anyone saw, they'd figure I'm lesbian. I don't care what they think but I do care about being thrust into yet another supposed 'category'.

Most people just assume your heterosexual, then when you don't seem to have any kind of attraction for the opposite sex, they figure you're gay/lesbian because they're not aware of our orientation at all. When my mum was in her 20s, she didn't believe in homosexuality. Not the same as there are people today who still believe it's a choice but she just didn't believe it happened at all. (She's now one of the members of her church rallying FOR same sex marriages) I don't get annoyed by people assuming I'm het OR lesbian, they're not worth my energy. In 41 years I've learned what to let bother me and what to not waste my time worrying about and peoples' perception of my orientation is definitely NOT something to worry about.

Snowplow, you were talking about everything vibrating, my friend's sister is blind so everything in their house talks (or "talked" as they're all growed up and moved out). I guess he said it was funny when one of them would stumble in drunk and knock into the table and the clock would shout out the time. He's got this adorable Guatemalan accent and he says "...an joo say to that clock 'jess I know what fucking time eet ees!'"

What is this, a deafies convention?

I was born with a significant hearing loss that worsened over time until I finally required a cochlear implant. One of my pet peeves when I was growing up was people who assumed that my shyness or whatever was an issue of the barriers that hearing loss poses to communication. The real issue was a lot more complicated than that, and took some therapy to resolve when I entered adulthood. As for amoeba-ness, it's a natural part of me and I would be reluctant to attribute any of it to my hearing loss. I don't know any sign language, and relied very heavily on lipreading before I received my implant. Still, I am not naturally shy, and know that shyness is for me a symptom of something other than the mere challenges of communication.

Despite my amoeba-ness, I can still appreciate a joke I hear: The cool thing about going to a deafies convention is that everyone has vibrators (that is, vibrating alarm clocks).

Anyone ever consider "coming out" to friends about amoeba-ness? It doesn't really seem necessary... it's not like GLB folks who have to either hide what they are doing or come out. We don't have to hide anything we're doing as we aren't doing anything. On the other hand it is somewhat annoying to be assumed heterosexual, and to be subject to questions along those lines.

Nargothic for lack of another name, I do see we have very different perspectives and that is just fine with me.

As for Freud? I think he is an idiot and if he were alive would be snorting cocaine.

Jen

I don't think narcissism (a character trait) has anything to do with being Asexual which is a form of sexual orientation or part of ones sexual orientation. I believe narcissism prevails through out most of one's personality, perspective in life and so on.

Jen

So you are saying personality or character has no influence on a person's sexuality, is that what you are saying?

I suggested this topic (which has totally turned aside, look at the thread without the "Are we narcsissistic") because it is possible that people who direct their libido towards their subject - and not towards an object - may become asexual if all this libido (libido = "life will") is directed to themselves.

And what is Freud's definition of an introvert? - A person who directs his libido towards himself.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello Cijay, When I responded to the topic of deafness and how social one may or may not be was with the thought of people who use sign language as part or all of their communication and those who can use hearing aids effectively. When I say use hearing aids effectively, I intend to say that they are able to separate voices from other distracting sounds.

In your case this is not possible so your deafness does isolate you. I can tell you that I do understand much of what you are experiencing. I lived like this for many years. The additional problem I have is hypersensitivity to stimuli which includes sound. It doesn't matter if it is someone's voice or not. I have a form of Asperger Syndrome that makes me ultra sensitive. I could not cope with people making sounds while talking, watching TV or anything like it. I need 1-1 conversations most of the time. It seems most societies do not socialize this way which intern can exclude people like you or me.

I am wondering if you used ear plugs if you could screen out unwanted sounds better. I know this may sound very strange. I use this method and it helps me a lot. I still am overwhelmed by sounds and must take a break from this stimuli.

Jen

Oops. I submitted this answer before I was ready to. Mods, if it appears elsewhere, just delete the other one.

In the experiences of a person not living with hearing impairments, it doesn't make sense to how social a person is/isn't. I'll attempt to explain it a bit better. Perhaps it depends on the type of deafness, what I have is sound interference. My ears don't filter so the sound of the keys I'm typing right now is at the same level as my co-workers' talking. (my mum has tinnitus so her hearing is always competing with loud ringing - I feel I'm luckier than she is because the competitive sounds at least vary)

Consider a lot of socialising is done in bars/clubs, social gatherings, dances and groups. I can't have conversation with one person because it's noisy, the bunch of them are laughing and when I ask what was so funny they don't have the time to explain it because the moment is lost. There's a bunch of noise going on around and that's all it is...noise. Movies are lost on me unless I'm in a home with captioned telly, watching it alone or with only one other person who will shut the hell up and let me concentrate. Everything makes noise. If I'm talking to someone and someone pulls a drawer open, it competes with the sound of the person's voice, if a person is rustling a bag (esp. the plastic shopping ones) I can't hear a voice, I can't make out pages...and if I'm talking to someone and a PA announcement is made, I can't hear the page OR the person I'm talking to. Walking with someone who is wearing a swishy material jacket, I can't hear them talking. Going out for supper one on one is fine, as long as they don't sit me next to the kitchen, bussing station, people with kids or large parties so we're pretty limited in where we can sit. I LOVE going out with my friend who knows sign-language, we sit and "talk our hands off".

My solitary nature isn't because of my deafness, it's a family trait, actually. When I get together with one person, it's great, there's just no point in going out with a group. I feel like a burden when I'm with them, like they have to 'slow down' for me. I don't CRAVE going out with a group but other people do and I can see where that affects them greatly.

Perhaps that explains a bit how some people are immensely affected by deafness.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Cijay, well I relate to you in many ways. You see I always thought people were straight but I didn't know that term. I didn't know about homosexuality other than the word in a derogatory statement. Later, I learned there were Heteros and Gays. I NEVER fit in the Hetero life. I tried to fit into the Lesbian lifestyle. Well, this didn't work either. This was when I was very young. I was told so many crazy making things because I was not interested in sex. Many of the lesbians thought I was special cuz I didn't sleep around. Well, if I was a sexual person I would not sleep around anyway. In the end I just don't have an interest in sex at all. I prefer the company of women.

I too would love to walk down the street holding hands with a wonderful woman but I don't like the idea of others assuming I go home and have lesbian sex. What I think I have learned is that I don't fit in either world. I don't fit because both of those worlds are highly sexual worlds and I don't have much tolerance for the expressions of sexuality around me. Most of the time I find it grotesque.

I must say, at the same time I do hate living alone so during the week I stay at my folks because they are still alive. On the weekends I stay at my apartment. I take my 2 cats to both places.

I believe I am unhappy because I do strongly desire to have a NON-sexual relationship or life partner. While saying this, I also need a lot of alone time. This must sound confusing to others.

Jen

I don't consider my hearing situation to be any part of my asexuality but someone asked about how many people feel solitary because of their lack of hearing. I just wanted to clarify it is all. My favourite joke is "Hey, I just got a new hearing aid, it works great." "Yeah? What kind is it?" "Eight o'clock" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

My asexuality is the way God wired me. I stayed away from therapy for the most of it. I noticed that a lot of them were looking for a 'cure'. I didn't talk about my asexuality to them but they all seemed to think I was miserable because I wasn't 1/2 of a team, so I just walked away. My asexuality wasn't what took me there, I didn't feel it was relevant to what I was there for.

I don't 'come out'. I would if anyone asked but, like you said it's not necessary and they don't ask. Some have asked if I'm lesbian and I've said no and leave it at that. The only time you would need to discuss it would be if someone wants to start 'getting physical'. Because I've not had the desire to get a situation hot & horny enough to GET physical - the topic doesn't come up. I would LIKE to be able to go for a walk with a female friend and hold her hand but of course (a) I don't have any asexual friends here (b) if anyone saw, they'd figure I'm lesbian. I don't care what they think but I do care about being thrust into yet another supposed 'category'.

Most people just assume your heterosexual, then when you don't seem to have any kind of attraction for the opposite sex, they figure you're gay/lesbian because they're not aware of our orientation at all. When my mum was in her 20s, she didn't believe in homosexuality. Not the same as there are people today who still believe it's a choice but she just didn't believe it happened at all. (She's now one of the members of her church rallying FOR same sex marriages) I don't get annoyed by people assuming I'm het OR lesbian, they're not worth my energy. In 41 years I've learned what to let bother me and what to not waste my time worrying about and peoples' perception of my orientation is definitely NOT something to worry about.

Snowplow, you were talking about everything vibrating, my friend's sister is blind so everything in their house talks (or "talked" as they're all growed up and moved out). I guess he said it was funny when one of them would stumble in drunk and knock into the table and the clock would shout out the time. He's got this adorable Guatemalan accent and he says "...an joo say to that clock 'jess I know what fucking time eet ees!'"

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello Snowplow03, I have been in therapy too. It did help but not enough. I lack many of the social cues that others are able to naturally pick up. This is due to being a high functioning Autistic. You would never guess it or notice it. I am just awkward socially and overwhelmed by too much stimuli. In fact too much stimuli is exhausting to me.

ROFL, yes this is a Deaf convention! LOL, can you tell? You are so right about the vibrating gadgets and then there are the flashing ones too.

I did come out about my Asexuality and need to not be engaged as much as other people. It has not been well received. Yes, people assume homosexuality if you are not dating, fucking, trying to get fucked or married. I hate it all.

I wish there was a real community for people like us.

Jen

What is this, a deafies convention?

I was born with a significant hearing loss that worsened over time until I finally required a cochlear implant. One of my pet peeves when I was growing up was people who assumed that my shyness or whatever was an issue of the barriers that hearing loss poses to communication. The real issue was a lot more complicated than that, and took some therapy to resolve when I entered adulthood. As for amoeba-ness, it's a natural part of me and I would be reluctant to attribute any of it to my hearing loss. I don't know any sign language, and relied very heavily on lipreading before I received my implant. Still, I am not naturally shy, and know that shyness is for me a symptom of something other than the mere challenges of communication.

Despite my amoeba-ness, I can still appreciate a joke I hear: The cool thing about going to a deafies convention is that everyone has vibrators (that is, vibrating alarm clocks).

Anyone ever consider "coming out" to friends about amoeba-ness? It doesn't really seem necessary... it's not like GLB folks who have to either hide what they are doing or come out. We don't have to hide anything we're doing as we aren't doing anything. On the other hand it is somewhat annoying to be assumed heterosexual, and to be subject to questions along those lines.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have been in therapy too. It did help but not enough. I lack many of the social cues that others are able to naturally pick up. This is due to being a high functioning Autistic. You would never guess it or notice it. I am just awkward socially and overwhelmed by too much stimuli. In fact too much stimuli is exhausting to me.

That sounds so much like me that I wonder if I'm an undiagnosed autistic too. Well, whatever. I find I really perk up once I'm by myself, even when I think I'm really tired.

This "deafies convention" is getting to be just too funny though.

(-:

Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter - Civis Mundi tlshell@... / http://tlshell.cnc.net/

Yes, all hearing aids would do to me would be to amplify the sounds that I can't make out to begin with LOL.

I'm rattled by hyperstimulation, too, they thought I was autistic when I was little, don't know what they finally decided on, don't care. It's like the saying "I don't know much about art but I know what I like." I don't know if I'm autistic, anti-social or what but, like most people I know what I can handle and what I have to get away from. Actually, I use earplugs (or as my niece calls them ug-pleers :D) when I sleep because there are too many things to keep me awake (neighbors walking across "my ceiling" or flushing their toilet etc) but in the day I don't need them, I just avoid the overstimulation. I actually work on the telephone but I have headphones so it shuts out everything but the voice I'm supposed to hear. I use headphones for my stereo and telly.

Funny, the only thing that has never woken me up before has been the cat. He jumps all over the place, uses his litterbox, eats etc in the night but I never hear him.

I'm rattled by hyperstimulation, too, they thought I was autistic when I was little, don't know what they finally decided on, don't care. It's like the saying "I don't know much about art but I know what I like." I don't know if I'm autistic, anti-social or what but, like most people I know what I can handle and what I have to get away from.

I remember a similar topic coming up on another mailing list. On the Introvert Retreat group (also on Yahoo), there has been in the past some discussion about what the "Highly Sensitive Personality" (HSP for short). By "sensitive" they don't mean someone who's emotionally fragile (which is how the term is commonly used these days); it means someone who is easily overstimulated or overwhelmed by sensory input. According to studies, HSPs make up about 15-20% of the population. Most (70%) are introverts. Sounds to me like both Cijay and Jen may well be HSPs.

A couple of web sites: http://www.hsperson.com/ http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/

BTW, I myself am not an HSP. Very few of the traits that typically identify an HSP apply to me. HSPs are typically very aware of the subtleties in their environment, whereas I need to have things pointed out to me. HSPs are affected by other people's moods; I am oblivious to them. HSPs often avoid violent movies and TV shows; I'm quite the opposite. Loud noises don't bother me; I can mentally block out unwanted sensory input if I have to (eg, at a busy workplace). Just thought I'd mention it. :)

Cheers,

Glenn