Haven for the Human Amoeba

Hi Eileen, ROFL litterally means Rolling On The Floor Laughing. It just means it struck me in a humorous way.

Jen

Hi Jen

Would you mind explaining your comment ROFL......what does it mean???

Eileen

Yep Mary, I'm making changes in my place right now so I can go to there classes and be ready for a home study.

Jen

Jen if you want children you'd better get going. Some states have an age requirement on adoption.

Please cut and paste the questions, erase my answers, and add your own.

1. Name: Jen

2. Gender: Female

3. Age: 50

4. Location: Northern California

5. Have you ever had sex? This is an invasive question that I would not ask anyone.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Doesn't matter. I need to feel comfortable and safe.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Actually at my age I now fall into the "old maid" category. Also at my age there are many widows out there so there is little interest in my peer group. Hey the older you get the easier it is. Also, sometimes if the topic arises.

8. Are you married? No & never have been. For most people this requires bumping uglies and I refuse.

9. Do you have or want children? I want children or at least one child. I would prefer a male child. I am considering doing fost-adopt or at least applying for it.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? You bet! I don't want to be touched by just anyone though. I do love affection or shared human contact that has NO sexual content. I even enjoy romance but not sexual energy.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? No not personally but it does bother me that it has caused me to be alone most of the time.

12. Do you date? ROFL, no. I wouldn't date anyone unless I was sure I was dating a non-sexual.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? It could be ruled in or out and it doesn't really matter to me. I'm simply not having a bump ugly session in my life. Yuck! I'd much rather do something pleasurable and fun.

Dennis, I experienced suspicions of being a pedophile and a lesbian seeking to find a straight woman and change her. Well, neither is true. I've never married, never want sex and I don't understand the drive to desire bumping uglies either.

I'd like to adopt a child or 2 and I'd like a life companion without sex.

Anyway, as you can see this also effects women too.

Jen

There are a lot of unfair prejudices out there. The assumption that sex = love is only one of them. As a single guy, I have to put up with a ton of prejudices against single men. According to society, the only reason for a man to stay single is because he likes to molest little children and is a pedophile sex offender.

I've never done anything like that, but because I'm a single man, people look at me and treat me like I have. As long as they don't find out I'm single, they are ok with me, but as soon as the subject comes up, they pull their kids away from me.

The wife of a long time friend of mine called me up and demanded to know what I did with her daughter after she was overdue. Of course, I had nothing to do with her missing daughter and she eventually turned up safe and sound. That only goes to show you the level of this kind of prejudice.

My friend told me that I should start wearing a wedding band so I would get better respect. I don't, but I am still considering it.

I was wondering if any other guys out there have experienced this kind of prejudice?

Dennis.

On 4 Jul 2005, 07:27 +00:00, Debbie Search said:

Debra,

Take it from another Deborah, some guys never "get it" I dated one knuckle dragger who insisted that if sex wasn't involved, we weren't in a relationship. It's sad when people equate physical acts with emotions. I wish you luck.

Debbie

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What really hurts is that I have relatives with kids and they won't let me babysit. They would rather pay someone else or let a stranger who has kids babysit them.

Dennis.

Dennis, I experienced suspicions of being a pedophile and a lesbian seeking to find a straight woman and change her. Well, neither is true. I've never married, never want sex and I don't understand the drive to desire bumping uglies either.

I'd like to adopt a child or 2 and I'd like a life companion without sex.

Anyway, as you can see this also effects women too.

Jen

For those of you that crave romance, but not sex, but are willing to do it every now and then for the sake of the relationship, try drugging your bf.

I just opened my nursing textbook and there was a list of drugs that are known to decrease sexual desire. SSRI's are just one. Narcotics apparently switch it off entirely.

Just a thought.

Dennis.

Hello, I wanted to mention that although some people lose there sexual drive due to SSRI anti-depressants, there are many who regain their sexual drive from the exact same medications. So it just depends upon the person's response to the medications.

Jen

Hi Dennis, I know what you are experiencing is very painful and there is no way to prove your innocense. People become so blinded and begin branding people for ignorant reasons.

My brother asks one of my youngest sister's to babysit, yet he never asks me. I think it's because she has dated so much in the past and acted so interested in men. Since I don't have this history, they are likely very suspicious of me. I know my mother, sister, neighbor and friends of theirs babysit these kids.

Jen

What really hurts is that I have relatives with kids and they won't let me babysit. They would rather pay someone else or let a stranger who has kids babysit them.

Dennis.

On 12 Jul 2005, 01:49 +00:00, J said:

Dennis, I experienced suspicions of being a pedophile and a lesbian seeking to find a straight woman and change her. Well, neither is true. I've never married, never want sex and I don't understand the drive to desire bumping uglies either.

I'd like to adopt a child or 2 and I'd like a life companion without sex.

Anyway, as you can see this also effects women too.

Jen

Yahoo! Groups Links

In my case, I've decided not to have a will. That way, they'll all have to fight over it after I'm gone - maybe even with the state. I currently don't have any kids and it dosn't look like that's going to change. So they will end up with everything that the state doesn't get.

Dennis,

Hi Dennis, I know what you are experiencing is very painful and there is no way to prove your innocense. People become so blinded and begin branding people for ignorant reasons.

My brother asks one of my youngest sister's to babysit, yet he never asks me. I think it's because she has dated so much in the past and acted so interested in men. Since I don't have this history, they are likely very suspicious of me. I know my mother, sister, neighbor and friends of theirs babysit these kids.

Jen

<<I think that all sexual men equate love with sex......that is why my marriage of 20 years has ended. i find it very very sad, but true. >>

Not all of them. My partner of three years is a sexual man; we had sex once, about a year into the relationship. I was hoping that it would finally become clear to me what I had been missing and what everyone else was obsessing about. It didn't. He now knows that I am uninterested in sex, and he is fine with it (well, I don't know how FINE he is, but he doesn't bring it up or press the issue). If he needs a sexual release, he can masturbate or watch porn, but he doesn't need or ask me to participate, except being there with him sometimes.

then again, i'm a-romantic, i have never encountered a situation where that question was relevant, personally.

what is a-romantic?

Yahoo!; (spam); Yahoo! Mail

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what is a-romantic?

In this context, its an asexual that still has romantic desires to be with comone else, but no desire to have sex. The generally like kissing and dating and even living with other people.

Dennis.

--- Dennis Hawkins <n4mwd@...> :

what is a-romantic?

In this context, its an asexual that still has romantic desires to be with comone else, but no desire to have sex. The generally like kissing and dating and even living with other people.

So I take it it means asexual-romantic, and not aromantic, which in this case would mean 'no desire for romantic realtionships'

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I may have misread your question. I thought you meant "what is a roman= tic?". Whoever originally used the term should have simply said "asexual = romantic" or "non-romantic". The two are actually opposite.

Dennis.

On 1= 5 Jul 2006 at 14:31, Palatinus wrote:

--- Dennis Hawkins <n4mwd@amsat= .org> :

what is a-romantic?

In this context, its an asexu= al that still has romantic desires to be with comone else, but no = desire to have sex. The generally like kissing and dating and eve= n living with other people.

So I take it it means asexual-romantic, an= d not aromantic, which in this case would mean 'no desire for romantic = realtionships'

____________________________________=

---

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Hi Dennis, You can always choose something very important to you to give your estate too. I am considering the local wild life center and/or the local animal shelter. I am not allowing my siblings to have access to my belongings.

Jen

In my case, I've decided not to have a will. That way, they'll all have to fight over it after I'm gone - maybe even with the state. I currently don't have any kids and it dosn't look like that's going to change. So they will end up with everything that the state doesn't get.

Dennis,

On 12 Jul 2005, 17:36 +00:00, J said:

Hi Dennis, I know what you are experiencing is very painful and there is no way to prove your innocense. People become so blinded and begin branding people for ignorant reasons.

My brother asks one of my youngest sister's to babysit, yet he never asks me. I think it's because she has dated so much in the past and acted so interested in men. Since I don't have this history, they are likely very suspicious of me. I know my mother, sister, neighbor and friends of theirs babysit these kids.

Jen

I think sexual people believe sharing sexual interaction is one part of and expected expression of love. Those of us who are not sexual feel intruded upon and many other feelings.

Jen

<<I think that all sexual men equate love with sex......that is why my marriage of 20 years has ended. i find it very very sad, but true. >>

Not all of them. My partner of three years is a sexual man; we had sex once, about a year into the relationship. I was hoping that it would finally become clear to me what I had been missing and what everyone else was obsessing about. It didn't. He now knows that I am uninterested in sex, and he is fine with it (well, I don't know how FINE he is, but he doesn't bring it up or press the issue). If he needs a sexual release, he can masturbate or watch porn, but he doesn't need or ask me to participate, except being there with him sometimes.

Hi Iillina, I want a relationship based on trust, comfort level with that person, mutual interests, simular lifestyles ahd beliefs and so on.

Jen

why not? relationship should be based on trust. there are sexual couples doing that, why shouldn't we? then again, i'm a-romantic, i have never encountered a situation where that question was relevant, personally.

I must be a limited romantic. I can't tolorated the idea of kissing uless it was a quick peck and I wanted too. Closeness emotionally and some physically without any hint of sexualality might be nice. Slow or formal dancing would be nice but by no means needed.

Jen

On 14 Jul 2005, 10:55 +00:00, Palatinus said:

what is a-romantic?

In this context, its an asexual that still has romantic desires to be with comone else, but no desire to have sex. The generally like kissing and dating and even living with other people.

Dennis.

I'm re-evaluating my self and I'm thinking that if I were to kiss the right person, I might like it. When I was younger and a lot better looking, girls that I didn't particularly like would steal kisses from me and I hated it. I suppose that is where my kiss hating originated from.

Dennis.

I must be a limited romantic. I can't tolorated the idea of kissing uless it was a quick peck and I wanted too. Closeness emotionally and some physically without any hint of sexualality might be nice. Slow or formal dancing would be nice but by no means needed.

Jen

you are lucky that he doesnt press you, i was pressed for 20 years constantly.....it took its toll on me physically and mentally....good luck

<<I think that all sexual men equate love with sex......that is why my marriage of 20 years has ended. i find it very very sad, but true. >>

Not all of them. My partner of three years is a sexual man; we had sex once, about a year into the relationship. I was hoping that it would finally become clear to me what I had been missing and what everyone else was obsessing about. It didn't. He now knows that I am uninterested in sex, and he is fine with it (well, I don't know how FINE he is, but he doesn't bring it up or press the issue). If he needs a sexual release, he can masturbate or watch porn, but he doesn't need or ask me to participate, except being there with him sometimes.

For those of you that crave romance, but not sex, but are willing to do it every now and then for the sake of the relationship, try drugging your bf.

This is a sick joke, isn't it? How would you like it if someone drugged *you* to try to change the way you relate to people??

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

What really hurts is that I have relatives with kids and they won't let me babysit. They would rather pay someone else or let a stranger who has kids babysit them.

Are you sure it's just because you're single? Not because you casually suggest drugging people to control their behavior?

<shudder>

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

Jim,

The intent was for consentual drugging and not slipping something in their tea. If it helps their relationship, then why not? How many women out there are taking paxil or drinking to try to cope with abusive husbands? If the realationship is to be salvaged, then compromises have to be made. Otherwise, end the relationship and get used to living alone.

Dennis.

On 13 Jul 2006, Dennis Hawkins said:

For those of you that crave romance, but not sex, but are willing to do it every now and then for the sake of the relationship, try drugging your bf.

This is a sick joke, isn't it? How would you like it if someone drugged *you* to try to change the way you relate to people??

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org

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