Haven for the Human Amoeba

Hi, I have two adult children living with me and they are an emotional drain. Sure financially, but I don't care about that, that is just part of life. What I didn't expect was that they both are seriously mentally ill. I am stressed to the core, unable to work due to family stress.

As for loneliness, I lived alone for many years in my twenties. I loved it. I could see people when I wanted. I apparently have some social skills. I look forward to living alone again. However, I do have concerns about my health as I get older. I want somebody to be able to find my limp body before it is dead.

Karin

Dennis, Don't listen to them. It is all individual! Some people are naturally nurturers and God knows there are enough kids out there who need that nurturing. When I was 36 year old I realized I'd never get married so I adopted a daughter. It was the best thing I ever did. She brought me more than I could ever ask for. It's not always easy being a single parent but at least you don't have any quibbling with an ex which can be a big pain. My daughter is now almost 26 years old and although has a home of her own now calls me every day to tell me she loves me. Mary

----- Original Message ----- From: To: [email protected] Sent: 8/3/2006 4:33:07 AM Subject: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Digest Number 750

Haven for the Human Amoeba - A place for independent , asexual men and women. Messages In This Digest (1 Message) 1. Re: important topic From: Dennis Hawkins View All Topics | Create New Topic Message 1. Re: important topic Posted by: "Dennis Hawkins" n4mwd@... n4mwd Wed Aug 2, 2006 9:10 am (PST)

On 30 Jul 2005, 13:53 +00:00, Dennis Hawkins said:

But nevertheless, people with kids (asexual or not) are always better off than people without.

???

No they're not.

-

Explain why you think that please. I've wanted kids since I was 10, but I was never able to realize that dream. My life has always felt empty as a result. If I were a woman, I would only have to go to a bar and get too drunk and I could get pregnant. Being an asexual guy really screws up the plan.

BTW, I'm speaking emotionally and not financially. I know kids cost a lot.

Dennis.

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correction: There really are places and people who can help us deal with our problems.

Grr... I keep mis-posting somehow. sorry for the technical difficulties everybody.

You know, I was actually mentally ill for a while. (I was undiagnosed and untreated bipolar). And I lived with my mother. Are your kids diagnosed? Because one of the most helpful things to do is to turn them over to a mental health support system. My mother's ego really didn't allow her to do this. She also was using "being the mom" as her adult identity. It was a bad situation the whole way through. I don't advocate throwing us loonies out into the street, but there really are places and people who can help us deal with our problems. Being allowed to talk to real professionals and getting away from my mother's codependency was the beginning of my life. It became possible for me to take responsibility for myself, manage my support system like an adult woman, and implement my recovery. And then you can put your energy into building/enjoying your own life as well.

Nic

On Thu, 03 Aug 2006 13:15:52 -0000 "Karin" <iamnotfiona@...> writes: Hi, I have two adult children living with me and they are an emotional drain. Sure financially, but I don't care about that, that is just part of life. What I didn't expect was that they both are seriously mentally ill. I am stressed to the core, unable to work due to family stress.

As for loneliness, I lived alone for many years in my twenties. I loved it. I could see people when I wanted. I apparently have some social skills. I look forward to living alone again. However, I do have concerns about my health as I get older. I want somebody to be able to find my limp body before it is dead.

Having an adult child who is bi-polar, I feel somewhat qualified to respond. I'm sorry that your mother looked upon motherhood as her adult identification. Whenever that occurs, trouble is bound to spring up, whether the children are mentally stable or not. There comes a time in everyones life when they need their freedom. If it is not given, it will be fought for and some battles are better left unwaged.

I have never looked at motherhood as my identity. It is but a small portion of who I am. It does not define me. I try to be supportive of my adult bi-polar child ( she's currently in college ) but I don't try to limit her, make her decisions for her or tell her what to do. Instead, I am there to advise, love, let her know when she is spinning out of control and catch her when she falls. And sometimes letting her fall, if that's what she needs to learn. As I'm fond of saying "Life is a crap shoot. It's up to you to make of it what you will."

Grr... I keep mis-posting somehow. sorry for the technical difficulties everybody.

You know, I was actually mentally ill for a while. (I was undiagnosed and untreated bipolar). And I lived with my mother. Are your kids diagnosed? Because one of the most helpful things to do is to turn them over to a mental health support system. My mother's ego really didn't allow her to do this. She also was using "being the mom" as her adult identity. It was a bad situation the whole way through. I don't advocate throwing us loonies out into the street, but there really are places and people who can help us deal with our problems. Being allowed to talk to real professionals and getting away from my mother's codependency was the beginning of my life. It became possible for me to take responsibility for myself, manage my support system like an adult woman, and implement my recovery. And then you can put your energy into building/enjoying your own life as well.

Nic

On Thu, 03 Aug 2006 13:15:52 -0000 "Karin" <iamnotfiona@...> writes: Hi, I have two adult children living with me and they are an emotional drain. Sure financially, but I don't care about that, that is just part of life. What I didn't expect was that they both are seriously mentally ill. I am stressed to the core, unable to work due to family stress.

As for loneliness, I lived alone for many years in my twenties. I loved it. I could see people when I wanted. I apparently have some social skills. I look forward to living alone again. However, I do have concerns about my health as I get older. I want somebody to be able to find my limp body before it is dead.

Karin

Having an adult child who is bi-polar, I feel somewhat qualified to respond. I'm sorry that your mother looked upon motherhood as her adult identification. Whenever that occurs, trouble is bound to spring up, whether the children are mentally stable or not. There comes a time in everyones life when they need their freedom. If it is not given, it will be fought for and some battles are better left unwaged.

My aunt has this idea that "children" must fight for their freedom. I disagree with that very much. Children are responsible to do the important developmental work at their end. And so are parents. And it's not the "kid's" job to fight to make their parents do that work. Just like it's not the parent's job to fight to make the "kid's" do theirs.

If having adult people depend on you disrupts your life, then there are things to do about it. I just get frustrated because our society supports parents of adult "children" in all their woe-is-me, they-can't-live-without-me, empathy ploys.

Everyone needs empathy and EVERYONE is a participant in the situation. And when the situation isn't working for you or the "child" you are both responsible for that not changing.

There is real value in making sure your adult "child" also has access to a mental health support system that she utilizes and is responsible for coordinating. At most, you are one resource on that team that SHE coordinates. It's HER life. A college student has the capacity to learn these skills that are necessary for a functioning adult bipolar to live their life.

If having adult people depend on you disrupts your life, then there are things to do about it. I just get frustrated because our society supports parents of adult "children" in all their woe-is-me, they-can't-live-without-me, empathy ploys.

These days, with the economy sucking the way it does, I believe the main reason adult kids stay with their parents is purely economics. Here in Palm Beach the average home is about $400K and rent averages $1800/month. Not that long ago, $200K would buy you a pretty descent home, but now it won't get you a shack in the ghetto. Young adults just can't make it on minimum wage jobs without help from mom and dad.

Dennis.

I'm sure there are many factors. However, it's a very established trend that there are many post college graduate people living at home and not leaving until 26- 29 years old. And you can look in the paper and rent a room for $200 a month. While it is true that the first job you get out of college isn't your dream job, it really isn't a minimum wage job. The first place you live really isn't supposed to be a house or a condo or deluxe apartment. I don't know where that expectation comes from. And I'm not talking about throwing people out on the street. I mean, you can always ask mom and dad if you can clean out that corner of the basement and put a few storage boxes there for 6 months or so. Etc. By all means, stop by and chat and have dinner with the fam every few weeks and call now and then.

I don't think there is anything wrong with choosing to live at home either. I have a friend who works, studies her management job training manuals, pays a small rent to her parents, does extra chores to help out, and lives with her parents because she wants to save money for a downpayment on a house. They've all ok'd that decision. She has her own social support system, she contributes, she is not dependent on her parents for caretaking, decision-making, etc. Once in a while her parents cramp her style but she deals because she takes responsibility for her choice to live there to get a house a few years sooner. If it didn't work for them, her parents would just say "move out". And she would. That's working for their family.

I just don't understand this weird investment in seeing adult "children" as dependent kittens that need you, haven't grown up, and can't possibly survive without your help. Even the concept and terminology of "adult children" is really weird when you start to think about it. I don't recall my grandparents generation being anywhere near as invested in that delusion as my parents generation seems to be. And the grandparents managed to leave home during the Great Depression.

Nicole

Dennis wrote

As for loneliness, I lived alone for many years in my twenties. I loved it. I could see people when I wanted. I apparently have some social skills. I look forward to living alone again. However, I do have concerns about my health as I get older. I want somebody to be able to find my limp body before it is dead.

There are services that can monitor your health somewhat; there is one company that sells a device you can wear around your neck and if you are in a prone position, it alerts security or something. (I don't know all the details.) They're mainly for seniors, but I would imagine that anyone who needs this stuff can buy it.

And then, of course, there is "Meals on Wheels" which would give you a real visitor once a day or whatever.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

On 1 Aug 2005, 05:25 +00:00, tlshell@... said:

On 30 Jul 2005, 13:53 +00:00, Dennis Hawkins said:

But nevertheless, people with kids (asexual or not) are always better off than people without.

???

No they're not.

-

Explain why you think that please. I've wanted kids since I was 10, but I was never able to realize that dream. My life has always felt empty as a result. If I were a woman, I would only have to go to a bar and get too drunk and I could get pregnant. Being an asexual guy really screws up the plan.

BTW, I'm speaking emotionally and not financially. I know kids cost a lot.

I'd be a disaster as a parent of small children. I don't do relationships well, and I don't have many parenting skills. I have no patience for children when they misbehave, so I would probably be abusive.

The only age group that I can see myself involved with is teenagers, because I still remember my teen years very well. However, I wouldn't want to raise them by myself.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

If I were a

woman, I would only have to go to a bar and get too drunk and I could get pregnant.

Yeah, you could name the kids "Clamydia" and "Gonorrhea".

Being an asexual guy really screws up the plan.

I'm curious; why? There's adoption or surrogacy. Not to be overly clinical about it, but it seems like if you were committed to having a child, you could possibly work out an arrangment with an asexual woman who also wanted kids and needed a sperm donor. Either co-parent one kid, or have more than one and each of you would get to be primary parent to one of them. (Personally, if I were to enter into an arrangement like that, I'd make sure the other parent was very, very stable and willing to let both of us be involved in both kids' lives, but others might find a different relationship worked for them.)

Katie

I'm curious; why? There's adoption or surrogacy.

Adoption is really nothing more than free child care for another guys kids. Nomatter what they sign, the courts have ruled that a bilogical parent's rights cannot be overruled by signing any document or agreement.

In a recent case here, a teen boy was killed in a neglegent way. The man who believed that he was the biological father of the boy and also the same man who the boy called "dad" his whole life turned out not to be the biological father. The mother had lied to him because she had an adulterous affair and got pregnant by another man. The court ruled that the man who raised the boy as his son had no rights to sue for wrongful death. Whereas, the biological father did have the right to sue and did even though he never met the boy.

In other cases, the biological fathers have gone to court and taken kids away from adoptive parents. "I didn't know I had a kid, but now I want him" is the usual argument.

Not to be overly

clinical about it, but it seems like if you were committed to having a child, you could possibly work out an arrangment with an asexual woman who also wanted kids and needed a sperm donor. Either co-parent one kid, or have more than one and each of you would get to be primary parent to one of them. (Personally, if I were to enter into an arrangement like that, I'd make sure the other parent was very, very stable and willing to let both of us be involved in both kids' lives, but others might find a different relationship worked for them.)

It sounds like a good plan. Are you volunteering? Have one boy and one girl and I get the boy and the mother gets the girl. I'm a firm believer that when possible, girls should be raised by mothers and boys should be raised by fathers.

I've looked into surrogate mothering too and to hire a surrogate and do it the traditional way with a lawyer costs about $100K per kid. I simply can't afford that. I think that $100K can be used in better ways to raise a kid than to give it to a lawyer.

Dennis.

On 3 Aug 2005, 23:19 +00:00, Katie said:

I'm curious; why? There's adoption or surrogacy.

Adoption is really nothing more than free child care for another guys kids. Nomatter what they sign, the courts have ruled that a bilogical parent's rights cannot be overruled by signing any document or agreement.&#92; In other cases, the biological fathers have gone to court and taken kids away from adoptive parents. "I didn't know I had a kid, but now I want him" is the usual argument.

While that could happen, I'm pretty sure that you could find out if the parents' rights were terminated before adopting; that would insure that they couldn't come back and try to claim the kid.

I disagree about "free child care for another guy's kids". My son is adopted, and he's *my* son. I may not have given birth to him, I may not have started raising him until he was almost eleven years old, but I'm the one who is with him nearly 24 hours a day, I'm the one who listens to him, I'm the one who deals with all the issues that come from adopting a special needs kid and makes all the decisions, I'm the one who worries about how he'll grow up. Once you adopt--if you're even the kind of person who should adopt--you start thinking of them as yours, and you grow to love them as if you'd given birth to them. Believe me, they stop being "someone else's kid" and become your own.

Not to be overly

clinical about it, but it seems like if you were committed to having a child, you could possibly work out an arrangment with an asexual woman who also wanted kids and needed a sperm donor. Either co-parent one kid, or have more than one and each of you would get to be primary parent to one of them. (Personally, if I were to enter into an arrangement like that, I'd make sure the other parent was very, very stable and willing to let both of us be involved in both kids' lives, but others might find a different relationship worked for them.)

It sounds like a good plan. Are you volunteering? Have one boy and one girl and I get the boy and the mother gets the girl. I'm a firm believer that when possible, girls should be raised by mothers and boys should be raised by fathers.

Talk to me in a few years :-). I've got a teenager that needs one-on-one attention; it wouldn't be fair to him or to a baby to change that up now.

I'm a firm believer that when possible, children should have a good relationship with both parents. I also think it's valuable for a child to have some sort of relationship with people of both genders, whether it's as a father/mother, an uncle/aunt, or just as a concerned friend. (I also think it would be difficult to dictate what sexes the babies were; you could easily have two boys or two girls.)

I've looked into surrogate mothering too and to hire a surrogate and do it the traditional way with a lawyer costs about $100K per kid. I simply can't afford that. I think that $100K can be used in better ways to raise a kid than to give it to a lawyer.

I agree. Adoption isn't cheap, either, even when you have a helpful lawyer who cuts you all the breaks he can (as I did). I suppose, in fairness, the hospital bills you'd get from being involved in a traditional pregnancy would be pretty high, too. Being in the baby business seems to be pretty lucrative for everyone but the parents.

Katie

Believe me, they stop being "someone else's kid" and become your own.

There is also the legal restrictions on single males adopting. I also must tip my hat to you for adopting a special needs kid. I know such kids can be more loving than regular kids, but I don't think I could handle it.

I hope the moderator doesn't get after me for saying this, but its true. For me to adopt a normal, healthy caucasian baby would be very expensive and would take a minimum of 5- 10 years due to waiting lists. That's assuming I could convince them to let me on the list in the first place due to me being single. But, if wanted a black baby, I could have one the next business day. Not only that, but a girl who did adopt a black baby told me that children's services even paid all the expenses. Talk about inequality from birth.

I can't say that I won't ever adopt, but its highly remote.

I friend of mines son was living with this girl for years and they raised a little girl together. The girl was from a previous boyfriend. One day, he asked her to marry him and she freaked. It seems she had a serious fear of commitment. When he came home from work the next day, all his stuff was on the front porch and the locks were changed. Not only that, but she denied him any visitation with the little girl who called him daddy. He had no legal grounds and today, several years later, he still hasn't been allowed to see his adoptive daughter.

Stuff like that really does happen!

Talk to me in a few years :-). I've got a teenager that needs one-on-one attention; it wouldn't be fair to him or to a baby to change that up now.

I will be too old by then. I'm 43 and nearing the end of the age of practicality. I know guys can make babies until the day they die, but still, I don't want my kid having to visit me in a nursing home when he's 12.

I'm a firm believer that when possible, children should have a good relationship with both parents. I also think it's valuable for a child to have some sort of relationship with people of both genders, whether it's as a father/mother, an uncle/aunt, or just as a concerned friend. (I also think it would be difficult to dictate what sexes the babies were; you could easily have two boys or two girls.)

Yes that's true. I was referring to the case where the parents are not together. It is possible to dictate the sexes these days, but its not cheap. Its better just to just roll the dice.

Dennis.

Not to be overly clinical about it, but it seems like if you were committed to having a child, you could possibly work out an arrangment with an asexual woman who also wanted kids and needed a sperm donor. Either co-parent one kid, or have more than one and each of you would get to be primary parent to one of them. (Personally, if I were to enter into an arrangement like that, I'd make sure the other parent was very, very stable and willing to let both of us be involved in both kids' lives, but others might find a different relationship worked for them.)

In ancient times, it was fairly common for families to adopt children of relatives who needed help. The children knew who all their relations were, unlike today's adoptions, which are mostly done in secret. I think adoption rules are out of date with today's needs and that kids should have their family health records kept along with their birth certificates. That information should be available to their families as needed, and kept on file in a legal repository for the adoptee to see at age 21.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - [email protected]

That would require a change in our culture. Right now children are kind of "legal property" (until they are 18) and parents often use them for an identity or as objects they get to "bring up" in their personal image to gratify their own life choices. Your model is more communal and emphasizes getting the job done -- socializing and providing care by any means necessary. That doesn't go over well in this culture. Adults would actually have to get to know themselves, feel their feelings, and go out into the world and build their life, rather than squirt one out of their body.

I am a little jaded on this issue. I'm sorry.

Nicole

In ancient times, it was fairly common for families to adopt children of relatives who needed help. The children knew who all their relations were, unlike today's adoptions, which are mostly done in secret. I think adoption rules are out of date with today's needs and that kids should have their family health records kept along with their birth certificates. That information should be available to their families as needed, and kept on file in a legal repository for the adoptee to see at age 21.

Like Nicole, I`m tired of this issue but the whole discussion actually made me a little bit wiser. Because I discovered that I NEVER considerate motherhood (and the unusual circumstances that enable an asexual woman to become a mother)when I`m HAPPY - only when I have BAD days. I think that SHOULD tell me a lot about myself and my priorities. / This group advertises itself as a place for independent, asexual men and woman ( Americans obviously have not the slightest idea about the basics of manners - the lady ALWAYS comes first!) but I don`t see this at the moment. My godess (fate,god, chance-what or who ever is on duty), we should deeply and strongly and intensely and joyfully celebrate the GOOD things that come with asexuality! I don`t CARE whether the women next to me is smarter or dafter, thinner or fatter, richer or poorer than me. I don`t have to please, or compromise or work out peculiar deals to keep a relationship running. My best friend is a divorced single mom of three, who is trying out one " could-be - Mr.Right" after the other and that`s a constant reminder, how great asexuality can be, when you are resonable enough to appreciate it. You have to be independent first, I know , and maybe it`s not really fair to those who don`t take to it as easily as I do, but most of us have to get used to it one way or another, and then, whining doesn`t help in the long run, or what? Gunhild

Like Nicole, I`m tired of this issue but the whole discussion actually made me a little bit wiser. Because I discovered that I NEVER considerate motherhood (and the unusual circumstances that enable an asexual woman to become a mother)when I`m HAPPY - only when I have BAD days. I think that SHOULD tell me a lot about myself and my priorities. / This group advertises itself as a place for independent, asexual men and woman ( Americans obviously have not the slightest idea about the basics of manners - the lady ALWAYS comes first!) but I don`t see this at the moment. My godess (fate,god, chance-what or who ever is on duty), we should deeply and strongly and intensely and joyfully celebrate the GOOD things that come with asexuality! I don`t CARE whether the women next to me is smarter or dafter, thinner or fatter, richer or poorer than me. I don`t have to please, or compromise or work out peculiar deals to keep a relationship running. My best friend is a divorced single mom of three, who is trying out one " could-be - Mr.Right" after the other and that`s a constant reminder, how great asexuality can be, when you are resonable enough to appreciate it. You have to be independent first, I know , and maybe it`s not really fair to those who don`t take to it as easily as I do, but most of us have to get used to it one way or another, and then, whining doesn`t help in the long run, or what? Gunhild

Of course I meant I never CONSIDER motherhood... -need another proof that english isn`t my mother`s tongue? AND, I`m a techno-illiterate- is there a possibility to edit messages you`ve already sent? Grateful for help - Gunhild

That would require a change in our culture. Right now children are kind of "legal property" (until they are 18) and parents often use them for an identity or as objects they get to "bring up" in their personal image to gratify their own life choices. Your model is more communal and emphasizes getting the job done -- socializing and providing care by any means necessary. That doesn't go over well in this culture. Adults would actually have to get to know themselves, feel their feelings, and go out into the world and build their life, rather than squirt one out of their body.

Well, I am a communal minded kind of person, I've actually fantasized founding one...but no resources for it at the moment.

I am a little jaded on this issue. I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, I understand perfectly. This isn't exactly a bright shining moment in U.S. history. We may have been bad before, but IMHO, we've hit a new low.

(Thinking of voting "Green Party" next time...)

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - [email protected]

is there a possibility to edit messages you`ve already sent? Grateful for help - Gunhild

You can edit the one you receive back from the list, send it out again, and tell people that it's the corrected version.

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...

Chinese Web site targets asexuals who want to wed By Reuters

SHANGHAI, China Online marriage brokers are common in China, but a young Chinese Web site is thriving by turning the traditional idea of marriage on its head.

Called "Marriage for Asexuals," the site www.wx920.com claims to be the first and biggest online marriage broker for asexual people in China. It says it has attracted 7,000 members since it launched last year.

Its rapid success illustrates the expansion of the Internet in China, the increasingly permissive nature of Chinese society and the way in which small but growing minorities are stepping away from traditions that have dominated culture for thousands of years.

"I came up with the idea to help a friend, who lost his sexual abilities after an accident," said the founder of the Web site, who works full time for an information-technology company in the southern province of Guangxi.

The founder, 33, a Communist Party member and a social worker, was willing to identify himself only by his Internet name, Lin Hai, as he chose not to tell his parents and co-workers about the site because he worried about their reactions.

Sixty percent of the site's customers are people who cannot have sex, Lin said. The rest are "comrades," the Chinese nickname for homosexuals, who sign on in search of an opposite-sex spouse, often to relieve social and family pressure.

The site is particularly daring in a Chinese context because of the culture's strong emphasis on marriage and childbearing. Confucius taught that not having children was the height of filial impiety. Under Mao Zedong, a person's employer often acted as matchmaker.

But "Marriage for Asexuals" is an example of how marriage is being modified and adapted, mostly in China's cities, by breakneck economic and social development.

So-called "DINK" marriages, standing for "double income and no kids" it is fashionable to use the English acronym are popular among young urban professionals. Such arrangements wouldn't raise an eyebrow in the West, but in China they are viewed as a radical lifestyle choice.

"I have no time to raise kids or even to go through pregnancy," said a manager in her late 30s at a Japanese company in Shanghai. "I'd rather save the money and time to live more happily with my husband." Underlining the controversial nature of her choice, the manager was willing to give her name only as "Ms. Liu."

Another innovation is "marriage on weekends," where couples deliberately live apart on weekdays to maintain their independence. "There is much more space for unconventional marriages, as the government gradually withdrew from people's private lives after 1978," said sociologist Sun Zhongxin of Fudan University.

The government does not hesitate to block or censor things on the Internet, but Lin said he had not received any official criticism or warnings.

Copyright 2006 The Seattle Times Company http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2003160460_chinawed29.html

Hey all,

I have recently discovered a link between autism and asexuality.

I never considered myself to be autistic. In fact, I qualified for mensa when I was in high school, but didn't join. Turns out I'm kind of anti-social.

I found several online autism tests and scored as autistic on all of them. According to what I've been reading, there is a type of autism called Asperger's Autism that affects seemingly normal people. Its also called high functioning autism.

Like I said, there is a definite link between asexuality and autism. Or more precisely, many autistics are also asexuals. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only asexual on this list looking for answers.

I would encourage everyone here to take the following test which I think was the best:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

Post the results. I'd be curious.

Dennis.

I scored a 32 with just the agree and disagree, I scored more with the points adding the slightly agree and disagree also by about 7 I too am very uncomfortable around people in general and prefer my home and things and my pets to anything social other than going and doing things when and where I want to enjoy them. I have been married 3 times and took me awhile to figure out that I do not need societys approval by living my life in a sexual relationship..I am finally really happy. Brenda Roberts/54 California

In a message dated 8/17/2006 10:37:42 AM Pacific Standard Time, n4mwd@... writes:

Hey all,

I have recently discovered a link between autism and asexuality.

I never considered myself to be autistic. In fact, I qualified for mensa when I was in high school, but didn't join. Turns out I'm kind of anti-social.

I found several online autism tests and scored as autistic on all of them. According to what I've been reading, there is a type of autism called Asperger's Autism that affects seemingly normal people. Its also called high functioning autism.

Like I said, there is a definite link between asexuality and autism. Or more precisely, many autistics are also asexuals. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only asexual on this list looking for answers.

I would encourage everyone here to take the following test which I think was the best:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

Post the results. I'd be curious.

Dennis.

I found several online autism tests and scored as autistic on all of them. According to what I've been reading, there is a type of autism called Asperger's Autism that affects seemingly normal people. Its also called high functioning autism.

Like I said, there is a definite link between asexuality and autism. Or more precisely, many autistics are also asexuals. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only asexual on this list looking for answers.

I would encourage everyone here to take the following test which I think was the best:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

Post the results. I'd be curious.

I got a 34. Just from my habits though, I would say I'm a moderately good candidate for Asperger's. I'm not really interested in making it "official" though as I don't know how my family would feel about it.

Besides, what good would it do to have one more "label"? I feel I have too many already!

Therese Shellabarger - Civis Mundi - tlshell@...