Haven for the Human Amoeba

OK, someone doesn't get the point easy. Anyone else feel patronized? "oh, they just need a little encouragement."

I do have a fun Idea though.

(signs on to the club, access her webcam and chat.)

"what would you like me to do?"

"Put on some clothes. Now read a book. No not that one. It's called 'Boston Marriages.' I think you'll find it enlightening."

"Don't you want me to..."

"No. Perhaps you'd like to discuss the effect society has on sexuality?"

"Not really."

"Have you ever questioned why Society Places so much importance on sexual reltionships over Platonic Ones?"

"No.... LIsten, Are you sure you don't want me to..."

"consider the possibility that sex is highly overvalued? why yes, In fact that is what I want you to do."

(Connection terminated at source.)

hehehe. Ok, it was funny when I thought of it.

OK, someone doesn't get the point easy. Anyone else feel patronized? "oh, they just need a little encouragement."

I do have a fun Idea though.

(signs on to the club, access her webcam and chat.)

"what would you like me to do?"

"Put on some clothes. Now read a book. No not that one. It's called 'Boston Marriages.' I think you'll find it enlightening."

"Don't you want me to..."

"No. Perhaps you'd like to discuss the effect society has on sexuality?"

"Not really."

"Have you ever questioned why Society Places so much importance on sexual reltionships over Platonic Ones?"

"No.... LIsten, Are you sure you don't want me to..."

"consider the possibility that sex is highly overvalued? why yes, In fact that is what I want you to do."

(Connection terminated at source.)

hehehe. Ok, it was funny when I thought of it.

That is excellent way to look at it. Now, all of us out there in this club, we all know that we are just one lap dance or one sexual encounter away from becoming sexual. Yep, i know that is true about me.........NOT!!

Actually, who knows? Granted, most strippers will not have intercourse after 1 lap dance, no matter the circumstances, but what if? What if you got so royally smashed, you forgot what was what, and you started making out with someone? Does automatically disqualify you as an asexual? Or what about the other side of the coin. Someone is so desperate yet so unattractive, or repulsive, or unlucky with the opposite sex that they automatically call themselves asexual after a few years. If they 'get lucky' once in their lives is it fair to call them non-asexuals? It depends on everyone's version of asexuality.

You posed some very interesting questions here:

"What if you got so royally smashed, you forgot what was what, and you started making out with someone? Does automatically disqualify you as an asexual?"

To mimic the therapist guy on "Ally McBeal", I have to say that I'm not...comfortable...with your use of the word "disqualify". Asexuality is not an event in the Olympic Games. Sure, we'd all like to consider ourselves part of a group (maybe to fulfill that belongingness need that Maslow theorized about - LOL), but seriously...only YOU know YOU. We're humans, we're constantly learning about ourselves as we grow. I can't tell you what your preferences are, only you know that information. I like to call this group of asexuals "enigmatic" because we've all arrived here for different reasons. Some of us have never experienced sexual attraction for another human being, some of us have never experienced sexual intercourse because of this lack of sexual attraction for another human being (or animal, etc.). Some of us have tried the sexual thing and didn't like the results of it so we said "TO HELL WITH SEX" and never looked back. Some of us have other reasons for being here. Whatever reason(s) you have for being part of this group is your business. Don't fear being judged by another asexual. We're all trying to understand more about ourselves individually and as a group...in my (not so humble) opinion, of course. :o)

"Or what about the other side of the coin. Someone is so desperate yet so unattractive, or repulsive, or unlucky with the opposite sex that they automatically call themselves asexual after a few years. If they 'get lucky' once in their lives is it fair to call them non-asexuals? It depends on everyone's version of asexuality."

Again, in my (not so humble) opinion, I'd have to say that this unattractive, repulsive, unlucky person is the only person who really knows his or her true a/sexual preference. IN MY MIND, the description you gave sounds like an involuntarily celibate person which is not the same as an asexual person. From what I understand about involuntarily celibate people (based on various webpages I've perused before finding this group), it seems that they "desperately" WANT to be in a sexual relationship with someone, but they CAN NOT because they: are hideous, repulsive, have a life-changing illness, are bound by religious beliefs/dogma, are married to someone who lost interest in sex, or just haven't met the right person yet. And some of them are pedophiles who would be arrested if they pursued their sexual preferences. Like I said before, we're all growing and learning about ourselves so we may call ourselves this for a while and realize that we're something else later. That's okay, what are we if we stop learning? I used to think of myself as a heterosexual until I accepted the fact that I did not share my boyfriends' interest in sex. So now I call myself asexual, big deal. Nobody's going to make me walk the plank for how I feel. Only I know me.

So I'm currently deep in the dark dank land of monogamy theory, I'm going to different parties around campus and getting their 2 cents, still waiting on word from the polyamorous crowd, who usually have the most interesting theory. The interesting bit that I though I'd throw out is that the peopel I've talked to so far all seem to agree that a nonsexual friendship can be a serious threat to a monogamous sexual relationship. So monogamy in a sexual context somehow deals with all of this stuff around emotion and time as well. Still don't quite know how..

-DJ

Actually, who knows? Granted, most strippers will not have intercourse after 1 lap dance, no matter the circumstances, but what if? What if you got so royally smashed, you forgot what was what, and you started making out with someone? Does automatically disqualify you as an asexual? Or what about the other side of the coin. Someone is so desperate yet so unattractive, or repulsive, or unlucky with the opposite sex that they automatically call themselves asexual after a few years. If they 'get lucky' once in their lives is it fair to call them non-asexuals? It depends on everyone's version of asexuality.

Hello everyone. I'm just doing a little intro here because its respectful I think.

I'm 16 years old and asexual(very certain). Some people think that its an "early" age to clarify that I am, but if a 14 year old can see that shes bisexual well then why can't I claim my asexualism. I have been this way ever since I can remember. While fellow friends of mine have had "urges" and "self-satisfaction", I have not because I consider sex, masturbation, and anything "sexual" disgusting, disturbing, unattractive, and I just don't feel anything at all towards them. It gets hard for people to accept that there is such thing as asexualism and ME being asexual, so I mainly keep things to myself. It is hard but finding this group has gave me hope and help me get out of my depression of knowing that I'm different from a lot of people. It gets tiring having people I meet online or elsewhere constantly argue with me and say thigs such as "you just haven't met the right one", or "it goes against human-nature","I'm asexual for now"(impossible and stupid) or even

"what happened to make you be this way?". Nothing at all "happened" to make me be this way, its just the way I am and I am proud to be asexual and meet a few people that are because it does get depressing when I feel alienated and hopeless to find anyone else like me. I'm not interested in romance or life partner. I simply just prefer friends and companions. :)

well I'm glad to meet all of you and if anyone at all wants to email me please feel free to do so.

-Andrea-

Hello everyone. I'm just doing a little intro here because its respectful I think.

I'm 16 years old and asexual(very certain). Some people think that its an "early" age to clarify that I am, but if a 14 year old can see that shes bisexual well then why can't I claim my asexualism. I have been this way ever since I can remember. While fellow friends of mine have had "urges" and "self-satisfaction", I have not because I consider sex, masturbation, and anything "sexual" disgusting, disturbing, unattractive, and I just don't feel anything at all towards them. It gets hard for people to accept that there is such thing as asexualism and ME being asexual, so I mainly keep things to myself. It is hard but finding this group has gave me hope and help me get out of my depression of knowing that I'm different from a lot of people. It gets tiring having people I meet online or elsewhere constantly argue with me and say thigs such as "you just haven't met the right one", or "it goes against human-nature","I'm asexual for now"(impossible and stupid) or even

"what happened to make you be this way?". Nothing at all "happened" to make me be this way, its just the way I am and I am proud to be asexual and meet a few people that are because it does get depressing when I feel alienated and hopeless to find anyone else like me. I'm not interested in romance or life partner. I simply just prefer friends and companions. :)

well I'm glad to meet all of you and if anyone at all wants to email me please feel free to do so.

-Andrea-

Hello to anyone who may chance to read this. I am a 21-year-old college student who has chosen in favor of asexuality. I hope to meet some people here who have good things to say about the asexual lifestyle, not that I need convincing still. I just would like to share my thoughts and hear all of yours as well, for you'll find that I am usually very positive about it. I enjoy passionate thinking, but I have chosen asexuality because the act of sex itself has given me no pleasure in any respect of the word. So, to sum up, I'm new in this "neighborhood", and I would love to make some new friends!

Sincerely,

Lisa

Oh, and welcome Lisa, too--the more the merrier! I am fascinated by how young most of the people are on this club. I think it's interesting that there are young people who have no interest in sex, in fact I think it's great!

X.

Welcome all. I think you'll find this site a nice place to visit. There aren't many answers here, mostly questions, but the act of asking is often as powerful as the answer itself. I applaud you for knowing what you are despite peoples attempts to tell you differently. Welcome to the club.

Thank you all very much for the kind welcomes. I'm beginning to feel a lot more comfortable. I still feel a bit isolated from the human race but thats not whats bothering me. What is bothering me is that the fact that the majority of people (nonasexuals) don't believe in anyone being asexual. They think its impossible. (this subject has probably been discussed often). It angers me, it also makes me mad when I get mocked or made fun of because of what I am.I do want to take part in helping to make Asexual part of the "sexualities list" because it is.

I don't tell many people or even my friends because they think I'm lying or "confused and scared". I'm proud to say I've never dated even though I feel bad for people I turn down. It just doesn't feel right being with anyone but just friends. i like it that way. There are times when I do get sad because I can't change the way I am, but I realize this is what I am, and how much better I am with accepting it. :)

By the way, I loved the Asexual Manifesto website, it was wonderful and stated a lot of what needed to be said.

goodnight all,

andrea

Thank you all very much for the kind welcomes. I'm beginning to feel a lot more comfortable. I still feel a bit isolated from the human race but thats not whats bothering me. What is bothering me is that the fact that the majority of people (nonasexuals) don't believe in anyone being asexual. They think its impossible. (this subject has probably been discussed often). It angers me, it also makes me mad when I get mocked or made fun of because of what I am.I do want to take part in helping to make Asexual part of the "sexualities list" because it is.

I don't tell many people or even my friends because they think I'm lying or "confused and scared". I'm proud to say I've never dated even though I feel bad for people I turn down. It just doesn't feel right being with anyone but just friends. i like it that way. There are times when I do get sad because I can't change the way I am, but I realize this is what I am, and how much better I am with accepting it. :)

By the way, I loved the Asexual Manifesto website, it was wonderful and stated a lot of what needed to be said.

goodnight all,

andrea

Hi to the club,

i had claimed to be a lesbian for years (since i was 12, now 20, turning 21 soon)

but i never had any sexual desire even to the girls that i really like, so, there you go!

i am learning more and more about asexuals.

just a strange questions, are a lot of asexuals engineers or techies, cause i am going to be an engineer soon (graduating from vanderbilt in may, looking for a job too, if you have any connection, contact me) mechanical, i am such a workaholic, and i also never had sexual even before i became a workaholic. so.. humm.. just a thought...

anyway, looking forward to meet yall, yahoo-message me!

Hi to the club,

i had claimed to be a lesbian for years (since i was 12, now 20, turning 21 soon)

but i never had any sexual desire even to the girls that i really like, so, there you go!

i am learning more and more about asexuals.

just a strange questions, are a lot of asexuals engineers or techies, cause i am going to be an engineer soon (graduating from vanderbilt in may, looking for a job too, if you have any connection, contact me) mechanical, i am such a workaholic, and i also never had sexual even before i became a workaholic. so.. humm.. just a thought...

anyway, looking forward to meet yall, yahoo-message me!

Wow, there are so many people joining this club! Some thoughts on recent comments posted:

To saturndreamz. It sounds like you have been much more vocal than I have. I really haven't told anyone about my asexuality, with the exception of a few close friends. They all understood, (even an ex-girlfriend who suddenly had a moment of *englightenment* after I told her.) So, I haven't had the chance to receive much in the realm of discouragement. My brother told me to "keep and open mind." He is homosexual, and went through a phase of claiming asexuality as a form of denial. So I can understand his stance. He knew it was denial though, and I couldn't relate to the situations that he was in during his asexual period. I am keeping an open mind though. On the realization of it all, I wrote about it a while ago, but I'll say it again in short. I think the most wonderful thing about it is the liberty it gives you as a human not bound to a majority of what society demands of you. I don't have to spend an hour and a half in front of the mirror to make myself look exceptional, as a simple example. After my realization, I felt nothing but great enthusiasm. Freedom.

To opelchan. I am indeed a "techie." I know of one other person here that works with computers for a career. I have found though, in my time with this group, that if there is one thing common to us all, it is that we are all vastly different. We spent quite a while trying to find common attributes, everything from weight, to hormonal balance, to personality disorders, to our stance in the "circle of friends." The only thing that seems to shine out as being a common attribute is asexuality itself. I think that is neat, because to me it only gives credence to the entire movement. If it were discovered that we all had some rare psychological malfunction, or chemical breakdown, then it wouldn't be as "valid" to the world. It would be a side effect of something else. Instead, we have a wide swath of humanity here, everything from public speakers out doing asexual activism to hermits.

I'm about to run out of space. Welcome to the club.

I've gotten the "you're too young to know what you are" thing too. Mostly when I talk about it no one understands or cares. Then again, when I talk about *anything* no one understands or cares. I guess it doesn't matter for me since at this point I've become so isolated from the human race as to make my opinion on anything irrelevant to it.

If that happens it does not "disqualify" them as being asexual. Just as if a homosexual person has a sexual encounter with a person of the opposite sex. But i was saying that the person who posted a sex site on this of all clubs is going to have a hard time finding takers.