Haven for the Human Amoeba

There's a large asexual community over at AVEN which is free http://www.asexuality.org

Hey all I bet others have posted a 1000+ messages like this before - BUT IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I DONT HAVE TO GO BROKE PAYING FOR! lol

When i use the word asexual, the look people give me is hilarious. Suffice to say, where I live - there isn't an asexual community at all. *sigh* i miss new york...

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

Same here I live in a small country community of about 2000 people. I wish I could move to a community that had asexuals close by. Patricia

-------Original Message-------

Hey all I bet others have posted a 1000+ messages like this before - BUT IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I DONT HAVE TO GO BROKE PAYING FOR! lol

When i use the word asexual, the look people give me is hilarious. Suffice to say, where I live - there isn't an asexual community at all. *sigh* i miss new york...

Yahoo! Groups Links

I AM NOT ASEXUAL MY HUSBAND IS AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY, I AM LONELY AND HORRIBLY DEPRESSED WITH THE NON-EXISTING INTIMACY BETWEEN US I HAVE FINALLY FILED FOR A DIVORCE. WHY MARRY SOME ONE WHEN YOUR NOT INTERESTED IN SEXUAL INTIMACY WITH ANYONE, UNLESS OF COURSE HE'S GAY AND MARRYING ME WAS JUST A COVER UP.

SINCERELY DEE

On Mon, Jul 27, 2009 at 3:06 PM, everythingmdc<everythingmdc@ yahoo.com> wrote:

I live in near Albany NY . Still a little far.

Hey, I live in Syracuse NY! :-)

Jim Sinclair jisincla@syr. edu www.jimsinclair. org http://moosepuppy. petfinder. com

It's about 400 miles to Albany . About half that to Syracuse--- In [email protected], bopopessa <bopopessa@...> wrote:

I'm hoping to move to Rochester in the next year or so... am currently in Southern California. How far away are Albany and Syracuse?

On 8 Aug 2009, Jim Sinclair said:

From

Jim Sinclair <jisincla@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: hi folks

To

[email protected]

Date

Saturday, August 8, 2009, 8:02 PM

On Mon, Jul 27, 2009 at 3:06 PM, everythingmdc<everythingmdc@...> wrote:

I live in near Albany NY . Still a little far.

Hey, I live in Syracuse NY! :-)

Jim Sinclair  jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org http://moosepuppy.petfinder.com

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

On Sun, Aug 9, 2009 at 1:29 PM, everythingmdc<everythingmdc@...> wrote:

It's about 400 miles to Albany . About half that to Syracuse-

From Rochester to Syracuse is about 70 miles. 225 miles from Rochester to Albany.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org http://moosepuppy.petfinder.com

Thanks Jim

On Sun, Aug 9, 2009 at 1:29 PM, everythingmdc<everythingmdc@...> wrote:

It's about 400 miles to Albany . About half that to Syracuse-

From Rochester to Syracuse is about 70 miles. 225 miles from Rochester to Albany.

Jim Sinclair  jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org http://moosepuppy.petfinder.com

Yahoo! Groups Links

Well, there is always actually TALKING to someone and sharing interests as a form of intimacy. The good news is the whole world is designed for you.

Nicole

I AM NOT ASEXUAL MY HUSBAND IS AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY, I AM LONELY AND HORRIBLY DEPRESSED WITH THE NON-EXISTING INTIMACY BETWEEN US I HAVE FINALLY FILED FOR A DIVORCE. WHY MARRY SOME ONE WHEN YOUR NOT INTERESTED IN SEXUAL INTIMACY WITH ANYONE, UNLESS OF COURSE HE'S GAY AND MARRYING ME WAS JUST A COVER UP.

SINCERELY DEE

Turn life into a beach with a new sandbox. Click now! http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2141/fc/BLSrjpTGaFMUyqTqdgoh8sRUrBvcKToAdl0qidMwTS77R8v6zY0fwJFLUu0/

Hey Patricia, Thanks for the reply! Im curious, does it frustrate you sometimes- being the odd one out? How do you deal with it?

Same here I live in a small country community of about 2000 people. I wish I could move to a community that had asexuals close by. Patricia

-------Original Message-------

From

alienscum3000

Date

08/08/09 22:03:00

To

[email protected]

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] cool :)

Hey all I bet others have posted a 1000+ messages like this before - BUT IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I DONT HAVE TO GO BROKE PAYING FOR! lol

When i use the word asexual, the look people give me is hilarious. Suffice to say, where I live - there isn't an asexual community at all. *sigh* i miss new york...

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

Yes, it does frustrate me very much. I deal with the frustration by visiting with family and friends even though most of them don't even understand what I mean when I say I am asexual. They feel that I am crazy as I have been married twice and have 6 kids but back when I was younger that's what you were supposed to do but I never enjoyed any sexual contact and most of the time I didn't like myself much after because I wasn't being true to myself or the way I felt. Patricia

-------Original Message-------

Hey Patricia, Thanks for the reply! Im curious, does it frustrate you sometimes- being the odd one out? How do you deal with it?

Same here I live in a small country community of about 2000 people. I wish I could move to a community that had asexuals close by. Patricia

-------Original Message-------

From

alienscum3000

Date

08/08/09 22:03:00

To

[email protected]

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] cool :)

Hey all I bet others have posted a 1000+ messages like this before - BUT IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I DONT HAVE TO GO BROKE PAYING FOR! lol

When i use the word asexual, the look people give me is hilarious. Suffice to say, where I live - there isn't an asexual community at all. *sigh* i miss new york...

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

Yahoo! Groups Links

On Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 9:03 AM, bopopessa<bopopessa@...> wrote:

Thanks Jim

You're welcome. Send me an email if and when you move to Rochester. I sometimes drive between Syracuse and Rochester on dog rescue transports.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org http://moosepuppy.petfinder.com

You're a dog person? Cool!!!! I have 4 fur babies, 2 dogs and 2 cats + a box turtle.  I also volunteer at a no kill shelter near me. My kids think I love dogs more than people which may or may not be true lol.   I am hoping to move to Rochester next spring depending on my finances. I'm in Rochester at the moment visiting my daughter and daughter-in-law. Thought it would be cooler here... it's NOT!!!!  I'd rather have 100 degree California heat which is dry than 85 degree Rochester heat which is very muggy. Oh well it is soooo much prettier here. Mary

On Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 9:03 AM, bopopessa<bopopessa@...> wrote:

Thanks Jim

You're welcome. Send me an email if and when you move to Rochester. I sometimes drive between Syracuse and Rochester on dog rescue transports.

Jim Sinclair  jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org http://moosepuppy.petfinder.com

Yahoo! Groups Links

hi my name is bria, I am 33 asexual asian female.  I just found this site and interested in meeting like friends.

Yes, it does frustrate me very much. I deal with the frustration by visiting with family and friends even though most of them don't even understand what I mean when I say I am asexual. They feel that I am crazy as I have been married twice and have 6 kids but back when I was younger that's what you were supposed to do but I never enjoyed any sexual contact and most of the time I didn't like myself much after because I wasn't being true to myself or the way I felt.  Patricia

-------Original Message----- --

Hey Patricia, Thanks for the reply! Im curious, does it frustrate you sometimes- being the odd one out? How do you deal with it?

--- In havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com, "Patricia Taylor" <musiclover2. patricia@...> wrote:

Same here I live in a small country community of about 2000 people. I wish I could move to a community that had asexuals close by. Patricia

-------Original Message----- --

From

alienscum3000

Date

08/08/09 22:03:00

To

havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] cool :)

Hey all I bet others have posted a 1000+ messages like this before - BUT IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I DONT HAVE TO GO BROKE PAYING FOR! lol

When i use the word asexual, the look people give me is hilarious. Suffice to say, where I live - there isn't an asexual community at all. *sigh* i miss new york...

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

Hello would enjoy talking to like minded asexual people

Ashley-

hi my name is bria, I am 33 asexual asian female.  I just found this site and interested in meeting like friends.

---

From

Patricia Taylor <musiclover2.patricia@...>

To

[email protected]

Sent

Friday, August 14, 2009 3:02:14 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] cool :) (alienscum)

Yes, it does frustrate me very much. I deal with the frustration by visiting with family and friends even though most of them don't even understand what I mean when I say I am asexual. They feel that I am crazy as I have been married twice and have 6 kids but back when I was younger that's what you were supposed to do but I never enjoyed any sexual contact and most of the time I didn't like myself much after because I wasn't being true to myself or the way I felt.  Patricia

-------Original Message----- --

From

alienscum3000

Date

08/13/09 16:56:19

To

havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] cool :)

Hey Patricia, Thanks for the reply! Im curious, does it frustrate you sometimes- being the odd one out? How do you deal with it?

--- In havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com, "Patricia Taylor" <musiclover2. patricia@> wrote:

Same here I live in a small country community of about 2000 people. I wish I could move to a community that had asexuals close by. Patricia

-------Original Message----- --

From

alienscum3000

Date

08/08/09 22:03:00

To

havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] cool :)

Hey all I bet others have posted a 1000+ messages like this before - BUT IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I DONT HAVE TO GO BROKE PAYING FOR! lol

When i use the word asexual, the look people give me is hilarious. Suffice to say, where I live - there isn't an asexual community at all. *sigh* i miss new york...

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

hallow i am stay in ahemedabad india 47 m also service man i want to meety personaly

hi my name is bria, I am 33 asexual asian female.  I just found this site and interested in meeting like friends.

Yes, it does frustrate me very much. I deal with the frustration by visiting with family and friends even though most of them don't even understand what I mean when I say I am asexual. They feel that I am crazy as I have been married twice and have 6 kids but back when I was younger that's what you were supposed to do but I never enjoyed any sexual contact and most of the time I didn't like myself much after because I wasn't being true to myself or the way I felt.  Patricia

-------Original Message----- --

Hey Patricia, Thanks for the reply! Im curious, does it frustrate you sometimes- being the odd one out? How do you deal with it?

--- In havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com, "Patricia Taylor" <musiclover2. patricia@...> wrote:

Same here I live in a small country community of about 2000 people. I wish I could move to a community that had asexuals close by. Patricia

-------Original Message----- --

From

alienscum3000

Date

08/08/09 22:03:00

To

havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] cool :)

Hey all I bet others have posted a 1000+ messages like this before - BUT IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I DONT HAVE TO GO BROKE PAYING FOR! lol

When i use the word asexual, the look people give me is hilarious. Suffice to say, where I live - there isn't an asexual community at all. *sigh* i miss new york...

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

My name is Annika, I am a 29 year old woman who is asexual. I am looking for friends from all over the world.

I live in Sweden.

I look forward to hear from you.

Annika

How does one find a companion that you can spend a lot of time with who does not want sex from you? I've sort of resigned myself to being alone a lot because I don't want to have sex anymore when I don't want to. My friends are all so involved with their sexual partners that I end up spending most of my free time with my horse or cats, who are great to be around but I could use more intelligent conversation.

Asexuals leave the closet, find community By DEMIAN BULWA

SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

When she wasn't drawn to boys as a teenager, Cathy Roberts figured she was just shy. As she steered men away from her college bed, she convinced herself she wasn't ready. Later, when a therapist coaxed her along a path toward enjoying sex, she didn't even want to do the tamest of exercises.

It wasn't until Roberts was in her 40s, and in a relationship with a woman, that she concluded she was asexual - simply not interested in sex.

"She was not happy to hear that," Roberts, a 48-year-old Mountain View resident, said of her incredulous ex-girlfriend. "She equated sex with love. I think that was true for her, but not for me."

The relationship ended last year, but Roberts had emerged from years of confusion. And in June, while wearing an "Asexy Dyke" T-shirt, she marched with two dozen other self-described asexuals in San Francisco's Gay Pride Parade.

It was an unusual coming-out for people who consider themselves members of a fundamental sexual orientation. At an event that celebrated sex of every flavor, one group declared an intention to skip the buffet.

The movement is a testament to how vital sexual identity is to self-worth. But the public emergence of asexuals also raises questions for sexuality researchers - mysteries involving the fluidity of sexual identity and the link between romance, which many asexuals enjoy, and sexual attraction.

'We're not broken'

"It does raise questions about the nature of love," said Anthony Bogaert, a sexologist at Brock University in Ontario who estimated the prevalence of asexuality in 2004. He analyzed an earlier survey of Britons and found that 1 percent reported that they had never felt sexually attracted to anyone.

David Jay, a 27-year-old San Francisco resident, put the movement in more personal terms, saying, "We need to know we're not broken. I've been told my whole life that people need sex to be happy."

The Pride Parade was a milestone for Jay, who is studying for his graduate business degree at Presidio School of Management. Nine years ago, he essentially started the movement by founding the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, or AVEN, as a teenager who couldn't fathom why everyone but him was hell-bent on shedding their virginity.

Seeking respect

Jay and his online community, which he said has 3,000 registered worldwide members, aren't seeking to create new civil rights. What they want is respect in a sex-obsessed culture.

Asexuality has only occasionally been studied, but the few researchers who have given it a close look in recent years say it may be a sexual identity similar to being straight, gay or bisexual.

Dr. Lori Brotto, an expert on sexuality at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, said she was once "extremely skeptical" that asexuality existed as an orientation. But in 2007, in surveys of AVEN members, she found not only low sexual desire but low distress about it.

"They're not bothered by the low levels of arousal," Brotto said. "That's what makes them different from someone with sexual dysfunction, who wants to seek treatment."

Recently, Brotto showed erotic films to seven asexuals along with 35 other women who identified themselves as straight, lesbian or bisexual, while measuring vaginal blood flow. She found no physiological differences in their responses.

"That's kind of what we predicted," she said. "This is not a sexual dysfunction. It's a sexual orientation issue."

Some asexuals are romantically straight, gay or bisexual, and some aren't romantic. They date each other, or they go out with "sexuals," attempting to compromise in bed.

Roberts, a software engineer, said she's worried she won't find somebody with whom to grow old. "For me, they have to be asexual and lesbian," she said, adding with a laugh, "Then there's that whole compatibility thing."

No common culture

The birth of the asexual movement has been as tricky as the personal stories, involving people whose sexuality is naturally passive. They lack the cultural markers claimed by the gay community - styles of dress, for instance, or bars in which to gather.

Into that breach came the great uniter of obscure groups - the Internet - and Jay, whom many asexuals consider to be an ideal spokesman. Young, charismatic and good-looking, here is a man, they say, who could have sex if he wanted to.

Speaking over burritos at a taqueria near his Mission District home, Jay said he was driven by memories of feeling alone. As a teenager in St. Louis, he searched the Web for "asexual" and found only research on amoebas.

He launched AVEN and recalled that when the first kindred soul got in touch, "we had this intense, two-hour discussion, going into all these things no one else could relate to."

Jay likes to say that nonsexual relationships are as rewarding - and challenging - as sexual ones. In defending asexuality, he is unflappable, even when being used for comic relief.

On MSNBC, host Tucker Carlson asked Jay if he was gay and repressed and wondered why, with all his free time, he hadn't cured cancer.

"If I'm able to define asexuality every time I do an appearance," Jay said, "we get 50 to 200 new people coming to us."

There are other signs of momentum. Bogaert is writing a book about asexuality, a New York film company has a documentary about the subject in the works, and in New Zealand, a soap opera features television's first identified asexual character.

AVEN members have one concrete goal: changing the authoritative Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to make explicit that asexuality is not a "hypoactive sexual desire disorder." The next edition will be published by the American Psychiatric Association in 2012.

Trying out intimacy

The primary focus of the movement, though, remains reaching people like Bridget Rodman, a 19-year-old San Francisco State student.

Rodman said she gets crushes on women but is not driven to sleep with them, which for years made her feel useless, even suicidal. She recalled trying to "mimic the patterns" of a girlfriend during an intimate moment. Then, in November, she found AVEN's Web site. It described her so accurately, she recalled, that she cried over her keyboard.

But with the discovery came revelations: that she could be honest with people, that she could experiment with intimacy as long as her partner was willing to stop, and that she no longer had to wait to live fully. "It's indescribably amazing," Rodman said of the change. "I can build my own ideas of what I want to be instead of waiting for this biological lubricant, literal or figurative, to come along."

©1996-2009 Hearst Seattle Media, LLC

http://www.seattlepi.com/health/409536_asexual0824.html?source=rss

I know what you mean, it does get a bit lonely at times. There are places like the AVEN board where they try to have local meet ups and stuff and I know there are a couple of asexual dating sites but I don't think anyone has every actually met someone from them.

Heather

How does one find a companion that you can spend a lot of time with who does not want sex from you? I've sort of resigned myself to being alone a lot because I don't want to have sex anymore when I don't want to. My friends are all so involved with their sexual partners that I end up spending most of my free time with my horse or cats, who are great to be around but I could use more intelligent conversation.

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

aloha

eager to send and recieve messages

doug in honolulu

I was just wondering,Is this more common in females than men?How many men in the group?I`m a 44 year old female.On marraige #2.I hate sex,and I want out of my marraige.Can`t really afford to get a divorce.I have kids.I`m interested in a realationship,with out sex.I could never find a man,who didn`t want it.I think,we only married out of loneliness.I don`t really know of any asexual communities.

1. Name/age: amber 24

2. Gender: Female

3. Race: black

4. Geographic Location: indianapolis in

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? male and female somewhat

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? no

8. Are you married? No And if not, do you ever want to get married? yes if the guy was understanding about my asexuality

Do you crave non-sexual romance? definitely

9. Do you have or want children? i currently dont have kids but would like to adopt someday

10. Do you like ANY human contact? not much but some with someone im extremely clost to is fine

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? only to the extent that i dont think its fair to date a sexual person as an asexual and i want to be in a relationship

12. Do you date or desire companionship? yes i'd love to

Do you like to kiss? not at all

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? no but im planning on doing that some day

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? no

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? a couple years ago.

hi i'd just like to introduce myself to the group. im amber. im 24 from indiana. i've been asexual for about a year. im interested in having a romantic relationship at some point. im most interested in dating a man. anything else you'd like to know just ask.

I'm not much for joining internet groups, so I probably won't be a frequent flier here. But I just wanted to say I am so relieved that there are other people like me. I've never gotten the whole sex thing that the other 99% of the world is obsessed with.

Welcome

I'm not much for joining internet groups, so I probably won't be a frequent flier here. But I just wanted to say I am so relieved that there are other people like me. I've never gotten the whole sex thing that the other 99% of the world is obsessed with.

Yahoo! Groups Links

:)