Haven for the Human Amoeba

Arousal is an experience for many asexuals (I spend time at AVEN also, and run into them there). There just may not be any desire to engage in sexual activity. This is okay. I think asexuality has a range of people and experiences, and what our feeling seems to fit. However, I cannot tell you whether you are asexual or not. That is label you have to decide for yourself. Enjoy your exploration, and if you have any questions just ask. Hugs, -elizabeth

No, like I can get turned on, but I never feel a desire to engage in sexual activity in response to being turned on. I actually don't masturbate personally; basically, being turned on is not "frustrating" or something I have to do something about. I get turned on, I'm turned on for a while, it goes away. My life is so exciting, lol.

~Sparky

iillina z said:

I don't understand how one can have a sex drive, but not to be attracted sexually. Aren't the two the same thing by definition?

Just curious. I'm wondering how each of you realized you were asexual? What did you go through prior to that realization?

I had a boyfriend for awhile, but just kissing him was horrible for me. When he said he needed more, I dumped him. That was back when I was an undergraduate. I thought for the longest time, as a kid, that I was just a "late bloomer." Then I started to feel as though I wasn't human (and I really believed this for while). Finally I got on a celibacy listserv, and one of them told me I might be asexual. This was my last year as an undergraduate. When I found out what that was, it was a big, bright, happy light bulb. I felt I'd finally come to a place of understanding. Knew I wasn't a non-human, wasn't a monster, but instead, just human in a different sort of way than many others. I learned then that my sexuality was okay. It was a painful, lonely road getting here, but once I began to experience the asexual community, I felt at peace with myself.

So, what was your experience?

-elizabeth

Very similar with the light bulb recently. I actually knew strongly at puberty, but didn't know what it meant. School gym teachers didn't know what to do with me since I never properly 'engaged' in physical sports activity.

About 10 years ago when I toured the MA Shaker village with my parents the guide described the living arrangements and their celibacy. When I commented something like 'there must have been some fooling around going on', she replied that some people just don't need it. I made the connection and mentioned that I would have been a perfect Shaker based on that (except they didn't have my real love, electric gadgets :-)

My Mom got it at that point since prior my parents had assumed I was gay due to lack of significant interest in women, but had a few close non-sexual guy friends. (They assumed it was a closeted relation with best friend.) They were following the either-or western society incorrect stereotype. My Dad only finally acknowledged my asexual status just before passing a little over a year ago. Oddly, *I* didn't fully accept it until a few weeks ago when I found this group. Still assumed possible bi status since occassional strong attraction to either, mostly women. Nope, not a focused attraction.

Just curious. I'm wondering how each of you realized you were asexual? What did you go through prior to that realization?

I had a boyfriend for awhile, but just kissing him was horrible for me. When he said he needed more, I dumped him. That was back when I was an undergraduate. I thought for the longest time, as a kid, that I was just a "late bloomer." Then I started to feel as though I wasn't human (and I really believed this for while). Finally I got on a celibacy listserv, and one of them told me I might be asexual. This was my last year as an undergraduate. When I found out what that was, it was a big, bright, happy light bulb. I felt I'd finally come to a place of understanding. Knew I wasn't a non-human, wasn't a monster, but instead, just human in a different sort of way than many others. I learned then that my sexuality was okay. It was a painful, lonely road getting here, but once I began to experience the asexual community, I felt at peace with myself.

So, what was your experience?

-elizabeth

Similar thing with me. As a little kid, I grew up having tons of girlfriends, but we were not sexual for the most part. I remember that when I was about 8, one of them wanted me to kiss her. I did and thought it was really gross. As I grew older, giving a girl romantic attention was more of a chore than something I enjoyed. Finally, when I was 22, I parted with my last and final "girlfriend" because I just couldn't stand it anymore. She went on to marry another guy and I'm happy for her. That was about 23 years ago.

Currently, I have a "friendship" with another woman. We are not sexual in any way and just enjoy hanging out together. If she corners me, I might do it for her, but at least I know now that I can just be myself and not try to pretend to be a sexual man just because that's the way all the other guys are. I've always known I was different, but now I know that its OK to be asexual.

Dennis.

Just curious. I'm wondering how each of you realized you were asexual? What did you go through prior to that realization?

I had a boyfriend for awhile, but just kissing him was horrible for me. When he said he needed more, I dumped him. That was back when I was an undergraduate. I thought for the longest time, as a kid, that I was just a "late bloomer." Then I started to feel as though I wasn't human (and I really believed this for while). Finally I got on a celibacy listserv, and one of them told me I might be asexual. This was my last year as an undergraduate. When I found out what that was, it was a big, bright, happy light bulb. I felt I'd finally come to a place of understanding. Knew I wasn't a non-human, wasn't a monster, but instead, just human in a different sort of way than many others. I learned then that my sexuality was okay. It was a painful, lonely road getting here, but once I began to experience the asexual community, I felt at peace with myself.

So, what was your experience?

-elizabeth

Yahoo! Groups Links

Hmmmm, interesting question. I have to admit that I don't know if I was born this way or just evolved. Part of the problem is that I am older (62) and grew up in an era where you waited til you were married to have sex. I did my share of dating when I was younger and did enjoy "necking" but my morals would stop at having sex. I never did meet the right guy and through the years my needs have diminished to non existent. Right now the thought of having sex or even necking are not even on my want to do list. Companionship is though and I yearn for a good friend of the opposite sex to share my life with. <<< sigh>>>> Everything added together though my chances of meeting that person along with being able to put up with each other are slim to none. Oh well there are a lot of other things in life to be involved with. Mary

Just curious. I'm wondering how each of you realized you were asexual? What did you go through prior to that realization?

I think sexuality and gender are fluid things, and so can change or evolve over time. I don't know if I ever will meet the right person, either. I do want companionship. Someone else who is asexual, but also a good match; it feels like when there are so few of us out there, that that chance is slim. It really depresses me. But yes, you are right, there is enough out there in the world that maybe we can fill our lives. And yet still, the desire for a partner is a strong thing.

Oh well. At least we can perhaps, on this site and others, begin to build meaningful friendships. That is something.

-elizabth

Hmmmm, interesting question. I have to admit that I don't know if I was born this way or just evolved. Part of the problem is that I am older (62) and grew up in an era where you waited til you were married to have sex. I did my share of dating when I was younger and did enjoy "necking" but my morals would stop at having sex. I never did meet the right guy and through the years my needs have diminished to non existent. Right now the thought of having sex or even necking are not even on my want to do list. Companionship is though and I yearn for a good friend of the opposite sex to share my life with. <<< sigh>>>> Everything added together though my chances of meeting that person along with being able to put up with each other are slim to none. Oh well there are a lot of other things in life to be involved with. Mary

From

elizabeth

To

[email protected]

Sent

Friday, January 25, 2008 3:31 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] First experience

Just curious. I'm wondering how each of you realized you were asexual? What did you go through prior to that realization?

.

Well, I remember dating my first boyfriend when I was 16 and wasn't even really aware that I was supposed to do anything with him. I couldn't figure out why he eventually dumped me. The second boyfriend I did some stuff at his initiation but it was really icky. I haven't dated since and that was about 12 years ago. I cannot say I have ever had the experience of wanting another person. I do remember wondering about myself when I was 25 or so and I remember sitting in the mall trying to check guys out. That didn't really work either.

For a while I thought I was a "sexual anoretic." And I worked on my "recovery." I just kept getting stuck because I really didn't have any reason why I wanted to be a sexual person. I mean, I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to get away from my parents who both have weird covert incest fixations on me. I figured I was "supposed" to and was broken... etc. Missing from this list of reasons to "recover" were curiosity about sex and wanting sex of any kind.

I do think sexual abuse is as much a part of my asexuality as my (perhaps) natural orientation. The bottom line is I've never met anyone that uses (USE would be the operative word there) sex in any kind of healthy way. And I honestly believe the norms of this culture are disturbed so I am including the prototype "healthy" marriage in that. I don't think most people even bother to perceive one another, they just want to have their mutual projection campaigns to enforce each other's nonexistent spiritual growth while getting a good rub from their object. That is disgusting and I think people who do that are disgusting.

So I guess I landed where I don't really have anything against sex. I just don't want to have sex with any of these people. Their reactions are of course violent (are they capable of anything else?) and they of course accuse me of taking something away from them. (But... sexual person.... isn't there anything inside YOU that's sexual? Why do you require an "other" to fill you up like a pitiful screaming sociopathic infant?)

Anyway... I don't know if I'm healthy or not. But that's kind of where I'm at.

Nicole

Hi Nicole,

I did have a boyfriend for a while, but even into college, it never went anywhere physically but kissing. Which was definitely enough for me! I also did the attempting-to-check-out-guys thing. It sure didn't work. I felt the same about them that I did about a toaster. No sexual attraction there!

I've wondered about sexual abuse in my case, too. I think that was perhaps some of it, but I also feel like I "know" in the same way a gay guy doesn't have to have hetero sex to know. Or vice versa...a hetero doesn't have to "try" sex with another male to know that he is hetero. The knowledge is, for most, just there.

Ultimately, though, I don't think it matters whether our current sexual orientation is (somewhat) the result of an abusive past or something that was there all along. What matters is who we are now, how we experience ourselves now. Nothing else really matters. At least that's how I feel. It was very freeing once I came to that realization.

-elizabeth

Well, I remember dating my first boyfriend when I was 16 and wasn't even really aware that I was supposed to do anything with him. I couldn't figure out why he eventually dumped me. The second boyfriend I did some stuff at his initiation but it was really icky. I haven't dated since and that was about 12 years ago. I cannot say I have ever had the experience of wanting another person. I do remember wondering about myself when I was 25 or so and I remember sitting in the mall trying to check guys out. That didn't really work either.

For a while I thought I was a "sexual anoretic." And I worked on my "recovery." I just kept getting stuck because I really didn't have any reason why I wanted to be a sexual person. I mean, I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to get away from my parents who both have weird covert incest fixations on me. I figured I was "supposed" to and was broken... etc. Missing from this list of reasons to "recover" were curiosity about sex and wanting sex of any kind.

I do think sexual abuse is as much a part of my asexuality as my (perhaps) natural orientation. The bottom line is I've never met anyone that uses (USE would be the operative word there) sex in any kind of healthy way. And I honestly believe the norms of this culture are disturbed so I am including the prototype "healthy" marriage in that. I don't think most people even bother to perceive one another, they just want to have their mutual projection campaigns to enforce each other's nonexistent spiritual growth while getting a good rub from their object. That is disgusting and I think people who do that are disgusting.

So I guess I landed where I don't really have anything against sex. I just don't want to have sex with any of these people. Their reactions are of course violent (are they capable of anything else?) and they of course accuse me of taking something away from them. (But... sexual person.... isn't there anything inside YOU that's sexual? Why do you require an "other" to fill you up like a pitiful screaming sociopathic infant?)

Anyway... I don't know if I'm healthy or not. But that's kind of where I'm at.

Nicole

What's in a virgin? Laura Roberts lroberts@...

For those of us of a certain age range, sex is an important part of life. Whether we started early with exhibitionistic childhood friends or bloomed late because we didn't want to be one of those high school statistics, we've grown familiar with this biological need to seek out willing partners and screw them senseless. Perhaps we choose to have sex with as many people as we can, or else we prefer to only sleep with people we think we love, or maybe we cross back and forth between these two seeming divides. In any case, sex is, for most adults, something we perpetually need and want.

Of course while many people seem to think that S&M is the new vanilla and that we require bigger, faster, harder or simply more sex just to get off, there are still those who choose chastity. Whether these people are asexual, virgins or have simply decided to take some time off from sexual activities, the general consensus is that people who don't have sex are religious fanatics or otherwise crazy.

But what if they're not?

Virginity may not be such a big deal when you're a teenager, but once people hit their 20s, the pressure is on to become sexually active or even promiscuous. Those who retain their virginity into their 20s and beyond are often ridiculed for their choice, especially if they describe it as a need to "stay pure." What's behind this idea of "purity," and are these chaste-by-choice people clueless or onto something meaningful?

The quest for meaningful sex is one that a lot of us share, whether we're vastly experienced between the sheets or novices looking for that magical moment with a special person. The difference between virgins and old hands, though, is that people who have been through a series of apparently "meaningless" sexual encounters have at least found some meaning in their relationships, whether they recognize it or not: We've been going through the process of discovering exactly what we like and dislike in bed.

Since everybody likes different things, and everybody has different needs and comfort levels, sex is often a matter of trial and error. Thus, in my opinion, the person who has had a great deal of sex has also had a great deal of experience communicating with others, trying new things and figuring out what things do or don't work, with respect to their own bodies as well as the bodies of their lovers. Maybe this isn't always the case (Wilt Chamberlain couldn't really have taken that much personal time getting to know the 20,000 women he reportedly slept with, for instance), but the correlation isn't entirely wrong. Practice makes perfect, after all, and while you may not lose your sexual skills after an extended holiday from bedroom acrobatics, if you've never engaged in any sort of sexual activities, how can you ever really master the skills you'll need to become a world-class lover?

Then again, a virgin need not be totally ignorant, particularly in our hyper media-saturated world. Perhaps our hypothetical virgin reads sex columns regularly, flips through erotica, knows the basics and maybe even some more advanced moves from sex ed classes or chatting with sex-positive friends, but has simply never put theory into practice. Is this virgin as "inexperienced" as we might think, or might this person have a few tricks up his or her sleeve?

I'll admit that I was a late bloomer myself, waiting until I was 19 to first have sex with my very first boyfriend, who was a virgin as well. We were good little Catholics, terribly well indoctrinated into the "sex is wrong, pleasure is bad" school of thought, and we felt like we were taking an enormous risk just touching each other's naughty bits. The sex we had was clumsy at first and improved only slightly as time went on. So what if I'd been a really good Catholic and married this guy before we ever slept together? The sex would probably never have improved much from its mediocre baseline, but then again, I probably never would have known what I was missing. Eventually, however, I likely would have become dissatisfied - as indeed I did - and either cheated on the guy, divorced him, or both.

Though some ask "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?" it's my opinion that a little bit of comparison-shopping is always a good idea. Even if you've met your "dream" guy or gal in every other respect, the relationship could be doomed if you're not physically compatible. Despite what other sex columnists may say, I'm of the firm opinion that bad kissers will always be bad kissers, no matter how nice you are when trying to train them. http://www.hour.ca/columns/vixen.aspx?iIDArticle=13805

The 47-Year-Old Virgin

January 23, 2008 12:45 AM

You are not alone Middle-aged virgins are not necessarily the stuff of comedy. Choosing to wait is just fine, writes Dr. Helen Smith — unless past sexual abuse or a debilitating lack of confidence is making the choice for you.

by Helen Smith

A reader is concerned about being a middle-aged virgin: Dr. Helen, I am a middle-aged virgin. I’m a 47-year-old heterosexual male and I’ve never had sex with a woman.

I saw that movie, The 40-Year-Old Virgin and it hit way too close to home. (Also Steve Carell looks a lot like me in that movie, which bothers me.)

I think that there must be a lot of middle-aged virgins out there, but most people are too ashamed to admit that.

Back when I was fifteen years old I was violently, sexually assaulted by an older teenager at high school. I never told anyone about it, but that experience has made me afraid of intimate contact with anyone.

My co-worker listens to Tom Leykis on the radio and he would describe me as a man who has “got no game” but I don’t want to be the kind of man who would trick women into having sex with him. I can’t believe that I’m alone in not being able to “hook up” with the opposite sex. What do you think? Are there a great number of people in the United States that have not been able to have sexual relationships yet, or am I just a statistical irregularity?

Thank you for your time. I have always respected your opinions. Dear Reader:

I think that rather than focus on whether or not you are a statistical anomaly, it would make more sense to focus on why you have not yet had a sexual relationship. There are a number of reasons men are virgins after the age of 40; they feel comfortable this way and have no desire for sex (asexuality); their faith prohibits premarital sex; they want sex but don’t know how to approach a woman and feel unable to “compete,” (in other words, “got no game”); and finally, prior sexual abuse that may have interfered developmentally with their desire and/or their confidence in attracting women.

Some men are asexual, I have met some that don’t care about sex and deny being interested. There are even studies that put asexuality at about 1% of the general population. Some men are religious and feel that it is wrong for them to have premarital sex. They have never been married and stay true to their religious faith. These two reasons are perfectly legitimate and if they apply to you, you may want to learn how to accept both as reasonable alternatives.

However, I have a feeling that the latter two reasons I mentioned, a lack of confidence in approaching women and the history of violent abuse that you mentioned may be at the core of why you have not had sex by now. If it is lack of confidence, know that you are not alone; other guys like Brian on a thread regarding middle-aged male virgins had this to say: FYI, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 34…..The reasons were clear. Being 5`5 and overweight, I wasn’t that good looking. There are times that I was just completely shut out of the dating scene entirely. People have asked me how could I go for so long? My answer, how could you want something that you have never experienced. I didnt know what sex was until I had it myself. I will have to admit though, I was pretty horny because I was J*rking off twice a day.I don’t think there as many female virgins(if any) because there is more pressure on men to perform. It`s simple as that.. Perhaps your lack of confidence is a result of being terrified to engage in sex with anyone. A violent sexual encounter in your formative years can shape how you view sexuality as an adult. Unfortunately, you may now tie sexuality with violence, shame and unhappiness. Since you have not had any other sexual experience to prove otherwise, this negative pairing may be forefront in your mind when you think of trying to approach someone of the opposite sex.

This terror may keep you from entering into a relationship that might lead to possible sexual relations. My suggestion at this point is to seek therapy with a licensed therapist or certified sex therapist who is knowledgeable about sexual abuse and sexuality. You mentioned that you have never told anyone about the sexual abuse you mentioned; discussing the abuse and its impact on your future sexuality in confidence with a professional might start you on the road to the relationship you are looking for or help you to realize that you are where you need to be. http://pajamasmedia.com/2008/01/ask_dr_helen_the_47yearold_vir.php

I am in Philadelphia too.

Maria-

I definitely understand -- I experience the same thing and it is very had to explain. I am in Philadelphia.

I don't understand how one can have a sex drive, but not to be attracted sexually. Aren't the two the same thing by definition?

Hi everyone,

I joined this group hoping to get some understanding of this. I am 28 years old. Since puberty, I have always just thought there was something wrong with me. I do have a sex drive, and quite a strong one, but absolutely no attraction for either sex. I can look at someone of either gender and acknowledge that they are good looking or sexy but once their clothes come off, I feel nothing. It's just a body. There's nothing special about it.

I've talked about this with friends before but no one had any idea that there was a name for it. I just happened to stumble on it today online. They always told me, "Once you have sex, that will change." It's kind of a relief to find out that I'm not the only one out there.

Maria petlady5@...

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

It is utter rapture for me to find a site like this. I am what I call a hopeful romantic who thinks the moment sex becomes an issue in a relationship, the magic is gone. I like to cuddle, to hold hands, to exchange knowing glances in a public place, to feel the electricity in the touch of a hand-- or in the mere nearness of someone. But sex to me is a chore, and undignified. Only when I was extremely drunk did I truly feel aroused in the way most people seem to be on a regular basis. I still look for a man who feels that same electricity without pressuring me constantly to get in my pants.

Did you know that in utero the human embryo is female until everything sort of "falls out"?

Could 'American Idol' Star Clay Aiken Be Asexual? Sexologists Say There's A Difference Between True Asexuality and Just Being Too Tired for Sex

"American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken recently told New York Magazine that he "just doesn't have any interest" in a romantic relationship. Sexologists told ABCNEWS.com that there's a fine line between being too busy or tired for a sexual relatoinship and actually being asexual. (Tammie Arroyo/ AP Photo )

More Photos

By EMILY FRIEDMAN Jan. 29, 2008

Former "American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken apparently has less of a social life than one might think, given his time in the spotlight and his large teenie-bopper fan base.

In a recent interview with New York magazine, Aiken said that he has never had a romantic relationship and has no interest in finding one, either.

"I have got too much on my plate," Aiken told the magazine. "I'd father focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don't have any desire."

And when asked whether he ever has sexual "urges" or "needs," Aiken responded, "I mean, not really. I've just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?"

Whether Aiken was hinting that he is asexual, or if he's just too busy or too exhausted to engage in a sexual relationship, is an important distinction when considering asexuality, sex experts told ABCNEWS.com.

"Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction as a whole," said New York-based sexologist Logan Levkoff. "Things get tricky sometimes to define because lack of desire is a different issue."

"[Aiken] said that he had too much on his plate to focus, and that's a little different," explained Levkoff. "You can choose not to get caught up in a sexual relationship or experience, but that's not technically being asexual." Is Asexuality Just an Excuse to Avoid Sex? "Being too busy isn't a sexual orientation," said Levkoff. "Society puts so much pressure on people like Aiken that we have to hope his statement isn't a public excuse to get people to lay off him."

There are also many other reasons someone could be feeling asexual, or experiencing a sort of dormant sex drive, said Levkoff. Depression, lack of exercise and exhaustion can all have a tremendous impact on a person's sex life.

Using asexuality as an excuse, according to Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of "Sex Detox," is also common for people who have had negative sexual experiences earlier in life or are trying to hide their true sexuality.

"There are many people who are confused about their sexuality or their sexuality is in stark contrast to their social and cultural values," said Kerner. "So they think it's easier to be asexual than to acknowledge their unique sexuality and identity."

Read the remainder of this article here: http://www.abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4209024&page=1

A-sexual revolution: A growing asexual community calls attention to asexuality research Courtney Kaminski Issue date: 1/29/08 Section: Focus

In 1948, when Alfred Kinsey published his now famous report "Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male" he included a scale for rating a person's heterosexuality or homosexuality on a gradient of one to six. With this scale he included a rating of X which referred to the asexual individual, however there was no further investigation into the asexual orientation.

Since the 50s, research in sexuality has continued to acknowledge asexuality as a valid sexual orientation, yet there has been very limited exploration by researchers into what exactly it means to be asexual and how and why a person identifies as sexual or nonsexual.

"Right now there's no universal definition of asexuality, and so there's some differences between different sexologists and different social scientists as to how to define it," said Tony Bogaert, a human sexuality professor in the department of Psychology at Brock University.

"But I've defined it as a lack of sexual attraction. Basically I suggest that anyone who is not attracted sexually to anyone is asexual. That can include people who just don't have any sexual desire, no interest in sex whatsoever, but it can also include people who have some level of sexual desire and some sexual interest but just don't attach or direct that interest to other people."

Asexuality is a spectrum, in the same way that sexuality is. The spectrum of asexuality is as varied as people being completely adverse to sex; thinking of sex as a biological need and thus masturbating with no desire to act sexually with another person; to asexuals who have crushes on people and fantasize about celebrities, or even engage in sexual acts for the pleasure of their romantic partners.

Bogaert is responsible for a study published in 2004 that provided the first tentative numbers about what percentage of the population might be asexual.

"[Asexuality] had been talked about in a theoretical way before but it really hadn't been looked at from an empirical standpoint," said Bogaert. "So what I ended up doing was analyzing an existing sample."

Continued here: http://media.www.brockpress.com/media/storage/paper384/news/2008/01/29/Focus/ASexual.Revolution.A.Growing.Asexual.Community.Calls.Attention.To.Asexuality.Res-3174720.shtml

Asexual Valentine's Day doesn't mean depression Allison Formanack Issue date: 2/7/08 Section: Opinion

Valentine's Day is next Thursday, and for many it will be a day without over-priced bouquets of flowers, candy hearts or stuffed pink animals.

While some spend the day wallowing in a Ben & Jerry's-sponsored depression, others amass in proud support groups will be denouncing the overly-commercialized holiday.

No matter what your stance, it's clear that Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate relationships. This year, I'm going to carry on the tradition of celebrating with my roommate over cheesy science-fiction flicks, mocking all the sappy couples we run into at Blockbuster with barely-concealed glee.

Human sexuality - which serves as one of the bases for all romantic relationships - spans a broad spectrum: heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc. However, there is another form of sexuality that's garnering more attention these days. For the most part, these individuals don't have extravagantly romantic plans for next Thursday either.

Asexuality is defined as a sexual orientation in which an individual does not experience sexual attraction to the same degree as the majority of people do, if at all. Largely unrecognized until the 1970s, asexual individuals are largely self-identified as such, representing between 1 to 2 percent of the population.

First and foremost, let me just say that I don't consider myself to be asexual - I'm extraordinarily picky. However, given that I am 20 and have not ever been in any sort of relationship (including those 20-minute romances that run rampant in middle-schools nationwide), I'll put myself forward to serve as an advocate.

There are multiple critiques of the asexual "lifestyle". The arguments range from the oft-heard remark, "You just haven't met the right person yet" to accusations of mental imbalances such as depression and childhood sexual abuse.

While there has been a study done shows asexual persons are more likely to be depressed and have issues with their self-esteem than individuals with other sexual orientations, those results were not statistically significant.

And as someone who has heard (to my complete annoyance) every remark such as "one day, you'll meet someone who changes everything" and "everyone needs someone," it's been made clearly obvious to me that such matters are highly individualistic and can change greatly over time. Just as everyone has that one friend who hasn't been single since 12, I'm sure that every person in our parents' generation knows someone who has never married out of sheer disinterest.

Another common misconception regarding asexuality is that it is the same as celibacy. This is not the case for two reasons. First, if it were the same as celibacy, asexuality would be actively endorsed as a preferred sexual practice by the United States government. Second, celibacy is a choice that is actively made whereas asexuality is a state of being. For example, many celibates are not asexual, and many asexuals do have sex.

That's right: Asexual individuals can and do have sex. While this may seem a little contradictory to the concept of asexuality, given the abstract definition of all forms of sexuality (think of the infamous question, "Am I gay for thinking other men/women are hot?"), it is not very surprising.

The appearance and subsequent explosion of the internet has cemented the idea of asexuality as a genuine lifestyle choice in the minds of many. Online communities - such as the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network - have made it easier for those who identify as asexuals to discuss their preferences with others like them without the fear of judgment or ridicule.

While asexuals may not have the face the same level of social contempt that homosexual individuals encounter, there are common labels applied to them that color uninformed peoples' perception of the sexuality. Many of these labels focus around three main issues: that asexuals are incapable of love, that they should not judge something that they have not experienced themselves and that they have psychological damage that made them fear relationships.

Of course, I would be in error to state that all asexuals have chosen their lifestyle without the influence of personal inabilities, inexperience or psychological factors. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't come from a stable family background, and mocking the "no, I love you more" couples provides me with endless entertainment. However, I will also say that there is more to my personal decisions than those factors.

Sexuality is fluid and ever-changing. While there may be asexuals who read this article, I believe that there will be more readers who are simply like me; career-orientated, unwilling to compromise their morals, disinclined to be tied down by commitments, etc. While much of that may simply be the by-product of the times and culture we live in, some of those ideals may reflect our true beliefs and feelings toward one of the most referred to human experiences: the romantic/sexual relationship.

For those who are in disagreement, relationship-obsessed, or simply just don't get it, do me a favor; this Valentine's Day, don't try and get your perpetually-single friend a date if they don't want one. Don't apologize to someone who admits that they've made it through college without ever being on a single date if that's what makes them happy.

If you can do that, I promise that I will try to not openly mock all those couples in Blockbuster who feel it absolutely necessary to make out in the romance section on Valentine's Day. Although, I can't make any guarantees.

Allison Formanack is a junior anthropology major. Reach her at allisonformanack@.... http://media.www.dailynebraskan.com/media/storage/paper857/news/2008/02/07/Opinion/Asexual.Valentines.Day.Doesnt.Mean.Depression-3194137.shtml

Scrolling Eye

The burlesque empire BY Marc Weisblott February 12, 2008 15:02 Today on the Scroll: Just in time for the Valentine’s Day burlesque barrage, surveying the unlikely cultural influences that make Toronto stripteasers tick.

Burlesque was recently on the mind of Robert Fulford, writing last weekend in the National Post about how “anyone under 40 or so will find it hard to believe there was a time in Toronto when the art of the striptease was regulated with as much care we now give to the recycling of garbage.” What followed was a recycling of Fulford’s reportage from 1966, when a stripper named Justa Dream was challenged by a pasty malfunction on the stage of the Victory Burlesk, on the site of what’s currently a Royal Bank branch at the corner of Dundas and Spadina.

But given how this Valentine’s Day night offers at least four different burlesque shows at downtown venues, it seems the marketplace has caught up to the law. Meanwhile, a Globe and Mail story last December spelled out the doom and gloom in the stripper industry: “High licence fees, a new bylaw and the rise of massage parlours are giving some peeler-bar owners a less-than-happy ending.”

Forbidden Broadway: The Naughty, Naughty Revue took over the Bloor Cinema last Saturday night (Feb. 9), a throwback to the theatre’s origins as a vaudeville house. The event proved to be a showcase for elements of a scene that’s developed over the past decade, an enduring hybrid of the fetish and swing-dancing scenes that's bringing bump back to an art form that became completely concerned with grind.

The 20-plus-act spectacle, organized by dance diva-turned-singing siren Christina Lorr a.k.a. Miss Pynky Love, featured troupes like The Harlettes and The Shamless Dames, along with live music from Big Rude Jake and Blue Mercury Coupe, plus Mysterion the Mind Reader and a ventriloquist and dummy act, Adam & Quincy.

While the four-hour bill — kicking off with opening scenes from the movie Cabaret — was geared to short attention spans, a cinema setting made it a bit challenging to stick around to the finale. Sketch comedy doesn’t tend to translate very well when presented 200 minutes into a program. Nonetheless, one could walk away feeling like an expert on what smaller burlesque stages in this town have to offer.

Most striptease acts referenced a bygone era where distinctions between the '20s, '30s, '40s and '50s are blurred, along with a dollop of punk rockabilly, and preponderance of body art. Somewhere in the midst was a tribute to Barbra Streisand performed by one Sauci Calla Hora, which began with a candle-carrying “Papa, Can You Hear Me?” from Yentl, segueing into the theme song from the movie The Main Event, cultural reference points one isn’t likely to find onstage at the Zanzibar Tavern or Brass Rail.

“I think Barbra Streisand is an icon of awkwardness,” explains Adrianna LeBlanc, who usually performs under the Sauci name in the troupe Skin Tight Outta Sight. “She tries a bit too hard to be accepted. So, even if people don’t recognize the movies I’m parodying, they relate to that. I think that’s what I related to as a child when I saw Yentl, and took it seriously.” (LeBlanc caught up to The Main Event later in life, and found it “luridly unwatchable”.)

The creative energy of burlesque appealed to LeBlanc when she joined the Skin Tight troupe in 2002, a welcome juxtaposition from her day job as a social worker. “The ideal has been to create something that’s intellectual yet can turn me on physically, too,” she says. “I’m trying to get a reaction out of people. Today, you see ads on the bus that are more overtly sexual than what I’m doing.”

Sauci Calla Horra’s turns at the Weimar Republic-themed Feb. 14 Voluptuous Panic!!! show at the Gladstone Hotel (1214 Queen W.) will include a routine that came to her in a dream — a reverse striptease set to Kurt Weill’s “Ballad of the Soldier’s Wife” — and another Jewish act inspired by the movie The Night Porter: “The part in the movie I’m basing it on is quite depressing,” she explains. “So, I’ve decided to go for a comedic twist.”

Miss Mitzy Cream is among the headliners at Love Bomb: Valentine’s Day Debauchery at the Annex Wreck Room (794 Bathurst). She was also part of the Bloor Cinema festivities on Saturday, where her striptease inspiration included Gone With the Wind.

Miss Cream — real name withheld upon request — also has a tattoo of Bettie Page, offering a list of 11 reasons why she got indelibly stamped with the image, and another portrait of a feral catwoman on her other arm. Mitzy, 29, can’t quite place where she first interfaced with this retro inspiration, but the more she learned about the likes of Marlene Dietrich, Clara Bow and Mae West, the more their self-images helped shape her own.

“I wanted to be an actress, a dancer, or a singer but I never knew how to put it forth,” she says. “Burlesque was a way that I could tie together all of those things, and experience my own sexuality as well. I’m also a narcissist, and an exhibitionist, so all those qualities are able to come out on stage. I can walk around in real life like that, too, but I think it would be hard for people to take.”

The pursuit took Miss Mitzi Cream’s Kitten Revue on tour across Canada last fall, with similar plans for Europe later this year, although she’s most appreciative of the hometown crowds who are accustomed to proper burlesque-show protocol.

“Sometimes, in other cities, people don’t know how to react to my act,” she explains. “But it’s gained such momentum here, the audience usually knows when they should yell, or clap or hoot and holler.”

Labeling herself a “contradiction vixen,” Miss Mitzi also volunteers the fact that she’s asexual. “To me, genitalia is a big turn-off,” she says. “I want to turn people on, but that’s different from having actual sex.

“A lot of people don’t understand this orientation — in fact, they think I’m lying. I love the making out, flirting, dating, all of the aspects of romance. It’s the having-sex part that I’m not personally interested in.”

Her influences don’t stop at the 1950s, though, as Miss Mitzy Cream’s most elaborate routine involves being painted with zebra stripes in order to perform an interpretation of the 1985 Lawrence Gowan hit, “(You’re A) Strange Animal.” During the act, she distributes processed cheese slices embedded with the title of the song, whilst licking the audience members.

“I haven’t done the routine regularly because it takes three hours to get the body paint on,” she says. “And it didn’t come off any faster. I scrubbed and scrubbed for days. But it was worth it, because I really love Gowan. How can anyone not?”

http://www.eyeweekly.com/city/scrollingeye/article/17901

Bradford Cox: Boy wonder Deerhunter lead grows inward with solo Atlas Sound release

...Deerhunter spent most of 2007 touring the world and causing minor outrages: Cox has appeared on stage in a dress a few times, and once smeared himself in his blood. Those provocations, however, complemented a fantastic live show. With Cox's spectral, reedy-thin presence in the forefront, Deerhunter's music, both grungy and ecstatic, made for revelatory and powerful concert performances.

Adding to the controversy, Cox often decorates his albums with images of young men. The Deerhunter album cover features Cox's close friend Cole Alexander from the Black Lips. Alexander is naked, and the photo of him is a double negative made to look like two men whose penises are touching. Meanwhile, the Atlas Sound album cover is a biblical-looking image of a boy tended to by his parents.

Visuals like these have led some music fans to assume Cox is gay. But he prefers to call himself asexual, saying he doesn't pursue romantic relationships with anyone, male or female. For him, growing older means learning to live alone, not settling down with a life partner and starting a family.

"Twenty-five is the age where, like, certain people would be settling down with a wife, having kids, getting a mortgage and stuff," he says. "And that's not where I'm at. It's never where I'm going to be. So I have to find my own way to be stable and ward off things like loneliness, poverty and feelings of uselessness...."

Read the entire article here: http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/bradford_cox_boy_wonder/Content?oid=411065

Indifferent and proud Asexuality is emerging as a fourth orientation Charles Lewis , National Post John is an asexual. He is 24 years old and a recent university graduate. He is also a self-described nerd, which is what he said helped him cover his lack of interest in sex while living in the most sexualized environment known to humanity: the university dorm.

"Being a nerd, it's a little less unusual not to be in a relationship," said John, who requested his last name not be used, during a recent interview at a Toronto cafe. "I think sex is nice in theory, but I'm not that interested in practice."

But just to confuse things, John is interested in romantic relationships with women -- "cuddling, sending silly notes to each other and going for long walks." He has tried a few sexual things, including that thing "apparently every other male on the planet loves but I don't really care about."

When I ask him to describe what it would be like to be asexual, he tells me to imagine a picture of a scantily clad woman. "You might have a reaction to it; I would just see a girl in not much clothing. That's the primary difference."

David Jay, 25, who runs the Web site asexuality.org, has become the poster boy for the emerging asexuality movement. He has appeared on 20/20, Montel Williams and The View -- where he endured the incredulous stares of the four female hosts and their all-female audience....

Read the remainder of this article here: http://www.canada.com/topics/lifestyle/relationships/story.html?id=65d7489e-7075-4ab6-b663-4ef2f4beaced

Did you know that in utero the human embryo is female until everything sort of "falls out"?

Not quite. The human embryo is bipotential. It develops toward femaleness unless something happens to change that. Developing into a male requires two different things to happen: one thing to stop the female development, and another thing to trigger the male development.

That's the really simple version. There actually does seem to be *something* necessary to get the female reproductive system to develop fully; it doesn't just happen on its own if only nothing interferes. The evidence is in people with Turner's syndrome, where there's only one X chromosome and no second sex chromosome at all. Consistent with the basic principle that development proceeds in a female direction unless interfered with, babies with Turner's syndrome have external anatomy that appears female. (Because nothing happened to make it male.) But they usually have internal anatomy that is female but not complete, or else not differentiated at all, just undeveloped embryonic tissue. It even seems that sometimes female organs actually begin developing but then stop and are resorbed.

Fascinating field of study. Even more fascinating to live through, as an intersexed person. :-) In my case it was probably a combination of steroids and other hormones that my mother was prescribed during pregnancy. However it happened, I don't have either male or female parts. And I take great exception to anyone saying that since I'm not male, I must therefore be female. Femaleness is more than just an absence of maleness.

J8 www.jimsinclair.org

There is also Androgen Insensitivity Disorder. This affects males who produce testosterone in normal levels, but their body does not respond to it. They have testicles internal like a female's ovaries and their external appearance is female.

Gender of a human embryo is determined at conception by the male sperm.

Dennis.

On 5 Feb 2007, 20:31 +00:00, bapada63 said:

Did you know that in utero the human embryo is female until everything sort of "falls out"?

Not quite. The human embryo is bipotential. It develops toward femaleness unless something happens to change that. Developing into a male requires two different things to happen: one thing to stop the female development, and another thing to trigger the male development.

That's the really simple version. There actually does seem to be *something* necessary to get the female reproductive system to develop fully; it doesn't just happen on its own if only nothing interferes. The evidence is in people with Turner's syndrome, where there's only one X chromosome and no second sex chromosome at all. Consistent with the basic principle that development proceeds in a female direction unless interfered with, babies with Turner's syndrome have external anatomy that appears female. (Because nothing happened to make it male.) But they usually have internal anatomy that is female but not complete, or else not differentiated at all, just undeveloped embryonic tissue. It even seems that sometimes female organs actually begin developing but then stop and are resorbed.

Fascinating field of study. Even more fascinating to live through, as an intersexed person. :-) In my case it was probably a combination of steroids and other hormones that my mother was prescribed during pregnancy. However it happened, I don't have either male or female parts. And I take great exception to anyone saying that since I'm not male, I must therefore be female. Femaleness is more than just an absence of maleness.

J8 www.jimsinclair.org

Yahoo! Groups Links

There is also Androgen Insensitivity Disorder. This affects males who produce testosterone in normal levels, but their body does not respond to it. They have testicles internal like a female's ovaries and their external appearance is female.

Androgen insensitivity syndrome, like Turner's syndrome, is only one of many different conditions that fall under the general umbrella term of "intersex." Androgen insensitivity ranges from partial to complete, with resulting external appearances ranging from appearing unremarkably female through ambiguous genitalia to appearing clearly male but underdeveloped.

Gender of a human embryo is determined at conception by the male sperm.

Nope. Only the karyotype of the human embryo is determined at conception: XX, XY, XXY, XYY, any number of other combinations of 3 or more sex chromosomes, or Turner's syndrome with just one X. And then there are chimeras. There are lots more than just two possibilities.

And that's just the beginning, the blueprint. Between conception and birth, and then between birth and maturity, all sorts of things can happen that weren't predicted in the blueprints. Other genetic conditions such as androgen insensitivity syndrome or congenital adrenal hyperplasia, exposure to unusual hormones or other chemicals in utero, production of unusual hormones by a child's own endocrine system, exposure to environmental toxins, even (for males) traumatic accidents and decisions made about reconstructive surgery...all these can bring about a body that's not the same sex the chromosomes say it should be.

And that's still just physical *sex*. *Gender* is psychological and social, determined throughout the lifespan, and may or may not be consistent with the appearance of the body.

J8 www.jimsinclair.org

Please circulate widely:

Autreat is a retreat-style conference run by Autism Network International, for autistic people and our families, friends, supporters, and interested professionals. We are accepting presentation proposals for Autreat 2008, to be held Monday-Friday, June 23-27, 2008, at a small campus near the New York-Pennsylvania border, approximately 80 miles from Buffalo.

FOR HELP PREPARING A PROPOSAL:

If you want to submit a proposal but you have trouble reading these instructions and putting your proposal in the requested format, contact Jane Meyerding, jmeyerding@..., for help. Send only plain text messages, with no attachments.

WHAT KINDS OF WORKSHOPS ARE WANTED AT AUTREAT?

Autreat is very different from typical autism conferences:

WHEN PREPARING A PROPOSAL FOR CONSIDERATION, BE AWARE THAT THE *PRIMARY* AUDIENCE AT AUTREAT IS AUTISTIC PEOPLE.

Parents and professionals do attend, and most who attend find the presentations to be of interest, but Autreat is basically autistic space.

Be sure your information is being presented in a manner that is both helpful to and respectful of autistic people.

We expect that you will be speaking *to* us, not speaking to non-autistic people *about* us.

We are interested in presentations, by either autistic or non-autistic people, about POSITIVE WAYS OF LIVING WITH AUTISM, about functioning as autistic people in a neurotypical world, and about the disability movement and its significance for autistic people.

We are *not* interested in presentations about how to cure, prevent, or overcome autism.

We do *not* appreciate having non-autistic people come into our space to talk to each other about how difficult we are to deal with, or how heroic they are for putting up with us.

If your presentation is geared toward the interests of parents or professionals, it should focus on positive ways of appreciating and supporting autistic people, not on reinforcing negative attitudes about autism and autistic people.

AUTREAT AIMS TO BE WELCOMING AND RELEVANT TO THE BROADEST POSSIBLE CROSS-SECTION OF THE AUTISTIC POPULATION.

Autreat is attended by autistic people who speak and by autistic people who do not speak;

by autistic people who communicate fluently and by autistic people who have limited communication;

by autistic people who live independently and by autistic people who need intensive support with daily living;

by autistic people who have jobs and by autistic people who live on disability benefits;

by autistic people who are able to present as "socially acceptable" and by autistic people who require support to help them manage their behavior;

by autistic people who have been labeled "high-functioning" and by autistic people who have been labeled "low-functioning"--including some autistic people who have had *both* labels, at different times or under different circumstances.

While it is not expected that any one presentation will be of interest to each and every autistic person, we do look for presentations that will appeal to the widest possible audience.

We are *not* interested in presentations that reinforce what we consider to be artificial distinctions between members of our community who are labeled "low-" vs."high-functioning."

A NOTE ABOUT "PERSONAL EXPERIENCE" PRESENTATIONS:

Be aware that everyone at Autreat either knows what it's like to be autistic, or knows what it's like to care about someone who is autistic.

All of us have our own personal stories. Presentations about the presenters' personal stories are not going to generate much interest, unless you're able to use your story in a way that will help other people to share and understand their own experiences in a new way.

Your proposal should describe what participants can expect to get out of your presentation, not just what personal experiences you're going to talk about.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PRESENTATION TOPICS OF INTEREST

If you have never attended Autreat before, please review the ANI web site (www.ani.ac) and the past Autreat brochures (http://www.ani.ac/past-workshops.htm), and contact Jim Sinclair (jisincla@...) if you have questions, to make sure you understand what Autreat is about and whether your topic is relevant to ANI's philosophy.

WHAT IS EXPECTED OF PRESENTERS?

If you submit a proposal, we expect you to be available to attend Autreat if we accept your proposal, and to give your presentation on the day and time scheduled. We make every effort to accommodate presenters' preferences in setting the Autreat schedule, but it is not always possible to give every presenter his or her preferred time slot.

Presenters are expected to send advance copies of any handouts or slides they plan to use, so that we can prepare alternate format copies for print-impaired attendees.

Presenters are expected to submit an article on their topic for inclusion in the program book. These also need to be submitted in a timely manner, so we can prepare copies in alternate formats.

Presenters are expected to consent for their presentations to be recorded, and for the recordings to be sold by Autism Network International.

Presenters are invited to attend all of Autreat. If presenters opt not to attend the entire event, they are expected to arrive on-site by 8:30 a.m. for afternoon presentations, and to arrive the night before for morning presentations.

Please be prepared to meet these expectations if you decide to submit a proposal.

WHAT'S IN IT FOR THE PRESENTERS?

Autreat presenters receive free registration, including on-site meals and lodging in a shared (2-person) room.

ANI is a volunteer-run, member-supported grassroots organization with minimal funding. We cannot reimburse for off-site expenses, nor can we pay travel expenses or honoraria. If your proposal is accepted, we will send you a formal letter of invitation if this would help you in raising your own travel funds.

Presenters are entitled to receive one free copy of the recording of their presentations.

PROPOSALS SHOULD INCLUDE:

* Your name and title (if any) exactly as you want them listed in program materials should your proposal be accepted

* Contact information (address, phone, fax and/or email if you have them)

* Title of your proposed presentation

* Detailed description for consideration by the Planning Committee

* Brief (5 sentences or less) abstract exactly as you want it listed in program materials should your proposal be accepted

* Indicate ONE theme that BEST relates to your proposed presentation:

[ ] Advocacy skills [ ] Life skills/adaptive strategies [ ] Helpful support services [ ] Communication [ ] Social/interpersonal issues [ ] Autistic community and culture [ ] Education [ ] Employment [ ] Family issues [ ] Residential issues [ ] Disability rights and politics [ ] Autism research and theory [ ] Other (describe):

* Indicate which group(s) you believe would find your proposed presentation of interest. Check as many as apply. Briefly describe what your presentation would offer to each group:

[ ] Autistic adults [ ] Autistic teenagers [ ] Family members of autistic people [ ] Educators [ ] Clinicians [ ] Service providers [ ] Other (specify):

* Brief (5 sentences or less) presenter bio exactly as you want it listed in program materials should your proposal be accepted

* Any audiovisual equipment you would need for your presentation

If you have never presented at Autreat before, please also include an introduction for the Planning Committee summarizing your relevant experience, including any presentations or other education/advocacy activities elsewhere, and the nature of your interest in autism and/or in general disability issues.

PROPOSAL DEADLINE:

April 1, 2008

HOW TO SUBMIT A PROPOSAL

Proposals can be submitted via email to Jim Sinclair (jisincla@...), or via postal mail to ANI at the address below, or submitted online at www.ani.ac/aut08cfp.php.

WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO PRESENT, BUT I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A PRESENTATION I'D LIKE TO SEE?

If you want to make suggestions for Autreat presentations, or make comments about previous presentations or presenters, please fill out the questionnaire available at www.ani.ac/autplan2.php.

Autism Network International P.O. Box 35448 Syracuse NY 13235 USA

you know i have thought about him being asexual - seriously .

Could 'American Idol' Star Clay Aiken Be Asexual? Sexologists Say There's A Difference Between True Asexuality and Just Being Too Tired for Sex

"American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken recently told New York Magazine that he "just doesn't have any interest" in a romantic relationship. Sexologists told ABCNEWS.com that there's a fine line between being too busy or tired for a sexual relatoinship and actually being asexual. (Tammie Arroyo/ AP Photo )

More Photos

By EMILY FRIEDMAN Jan. 29, 2008

Former "American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken apparently has less of a social life than one might think, given his time in the spotlight and his large teenie-bopper fan base.

In a recent interview with New York magazine, Aiken said that he has never had a romantic relationship and has no interest in finding one, either.

"I have got too much on my plate," Aiken told the magazine. "I'd father focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don't have any desire."

And when asked whether he ever has sexual "urges" or "needs," Aiken responded, "I mean, not really. I've just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?"

Whether Aiken was hinting that he is asexual, or if he's just too busy or too exhausted to engage in a sexual relationship, is an important distinction when considering asexuality, sex experts told ABCNEWS.com.

"Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction as a whole," said New York-based sexologist Logan Levkoff. "Things get tricky sometimes to define because lack of desire is a different issue."

"[Aiken] said that he had too much on his plate to focus, and that's a little different," explained Levkoff. "You can choose not to get caught up in a sexual relationship or experience, but that's not technically being asexual." Is Asexuality Just an Excuse to Avoid Sex? "Being too busy isn't a sexual orientation," said Levkoff. "Society puts so much pressure on people like Aiken that we have to hope his statement isn't a public excuse to get people to lay off him."

There are also many other reasons someone could be feeling asexual, or experiencing a sort of dormant sex drive, said Levkoff. Depression, lack of exercise and exhaustion can all have a tremendous impact on a person's sex life.

Using asexuality as an excuse, according to Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of "Sex Detox," is also common for people who have had negative sexual experiences earlier in life or are trying to hide their true sexuality.

"There are many people who are confused about their sexuality or their sexuality is in stark contrast to their social and cultural values," said Kerner. "So they think it's easier to be asexual than to acknowledge their unique sexuality and identity."

Read the remainder of this article here: http://www.abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4209024&page=1

---

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

Just a reminder that there's one week left to submit a proposal for Autreat. Presentations may be submitted online at http://ani.autistics.org/aut08cfp.php.

This reminder may be cross-posted wherever people might be interested.

J8