Haven for the Human Amoeba

hallon aspl

--- In havenforthehumanamo eba@yahoogroups. com, "MEGAN" <precious1_u_ luv@...> wrote:

1. Name/age: amber 24

2. Gender: Female

3. Race: black

4. Geographic Location: indianapolis in

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? male and female somewhat

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? no

8. Are you married? No And if not, do you ever want to get married? yes if the guy was understanding about my asexuality

Do you crave non-sexual romance? definitely

9. Do you have or want children? i currently dont have kids but would like to adopt someday

10. Do you like ANY human contact? not much but some with someone im extremely clost to is fine

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? only to the extent that i dont think its fair to date a sexual person as an asexual and i want to be in a relationship

12. Do you date or desire companionship? yes i'd love to

Do you like to kiss? not at all

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychologic al reasons for your disinterest in sex? no but im planning on doing that some day

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? no

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? a couple years ago.

i am interest in you

I was just wondering,Is this more common in females than men?How many men in the group?I`m a 44 year old female.On marraige #2.I hate sex,and I want out of my marraige.Can` t really afford to get a divorce.I have kids.I`m interested in a realationship, with out sex.I could never find a man,who didn`t want it.I think,we only married out of loneliness.I don`t really know of any asexual communities.

i am indian from ahemadabad / 45m

aloha

eager to send and recieve messages

doug in honolulu

Asexuals: Can some people live happily without sex?

By DEMIAN BULWA San Francisco Chronicle

When she wasn't drawn to boys as a teenager, Cathy Roberts figured she was just shy. As she steered men away from her college bed, she convinced herself she wasn't ready. Later, when a therapist coaxed her along a path toward enjoying sex, she didn't even want to do the tamest of exercises.

It wasn't until Roberts was in her 40s, and in a relationship with a woman, that she concluded she was asexual -- simply not interested in sex.

"She was not happy to hear that," Roberts, a 48-year-old Mountain View, Calif. resident, said of her incredulous ex-girlfriend.

"She equated sex with love. I think that was true for her, but not for me."

The relationship ended last year, but Roberts had emerged from years of confusion. And in June, while wearing an "Asexy Dyke" T-shirt, she marched with two dozen other self-described asexuals in San Francisco's Gay Pride Parade.

It was an unusual coming-out for people who consider themselves members of a fundamental sexual orientation. At an event that celebrated sex of every flavor, one group declared an intention to skip the buffet.

The movement is a testament to how vital sexual identity is to self-worth. But the public emergence of asexuals also raises questions for sexuality researchers -- mysteries involving the fluidity of sexual identity and the link between romance, which many asexuals enjoy, and sexual attraction.

"It does raise questions about the nature of love," said Anthony Bogaert, a sexologist at Brock University in Ontario who estimated the prevalence of asexuality in 2004. He analyzed an earlier survey of Britons and found that 1 percent reported that they had never felt sexually attracted to anyone.

David Jay, a 27-year-old San Francisco resident, put the movement in more personal terms, saying, "We need to know we're not broken. I've been told my whole life that people need sex to be happy."

The Pride Parade was a milestone for Jay, who is studying for his graduate business degree at Presidio School of Management. Nine years ago, he essentially started the movement by founding the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, or AVEN, as a teenager who couldn't fathom why everyone but him was hell-bent on shedding their virginity.

Jay and his online community, which he said has 3,000 registered worldwide members, aren't seeking to create new civil rights. What they want is respect in a sex-obsessed culture.

Asexuality has only occasionally been studied, but the few researchers who have given it a close look in recent years say it may be a sexual identity similar to being straight, gay or bisexual.

Dr. Lori Brotto, an expert on sexuality at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, said she was once "extremely skeptical" that asexuality existed as an orientation. But in 2007, in surveys of AVEN members, she found not only low sexual desire but low distress about it.

"They're not bothered by the low levels of arousal," Brotto said. "That's what makes them different from someone with sexual dysfunction, who wants to seek treatment."

Recently, Brotto showed erotic films to seven asexuals along with 35 other women who identified themselves as straight, lesbian or bisexual, while measuring vaginal blood flow. She found no physiological differences in their responses.

"That's kind of what we predicted," she said. "This is not a sexual dysfunction. It's a sexual orientation issue."

Some asexuals are romantically straight, gay or bisexual, and some aren't romantic. They date each other, or they go out with "sexuals," attempting to compromise in bed.

Roberts, a software engineer, said she's worried she won't find somebody with whom to grow old. "For me, they have to be asexual and lesbian," she said, adding with a laugh, "Then there's that whole compatibility thing."

The birth of the asexual movement has been as tricky as the personal stories, involving people whose sexuality is naturally passive. They lack the cultural markers claimed by the gay community -- styles of dress, for instance, or bars in which to gather.

Into that breach came the great uniter of obscure groups -- the Internet -- and Jay, whom many asexuals consider to be an ideal spokesman. Young, charismatic and good-looking, here is a man, they say, who could have sex if he wanted to.

Speaking over burritos at a taqueria near his Mission District home, Jay said he was driven by memories of feeling alone. As a teenager in St. Louis, he searched the Web for "asexual" and found only research on amoebas.

He launched AVEN and recalled that when the first kindred soul got in touch, "we had this intense, two-hour discussion, going into all these things no one else could relate to."

Jay likes to say that nonsexual relationships are as rewarding -- and challenging -- as sexual ones. In defending asexuality, he is unflappable, even when being used for comic relief.

On MSNBC, host Tucker Carlson asked Jay if he was gay and repressed and wondered why, with all his free time, he hadn't cured cancer.

"If I'm able to define asexuality every time I do an appearance," Jay said, "we get 50 to 200 new people coming to us."

There are other signs of momentum. Bogaert is writing a book about asexuality, a New York film company has a documentary about the subject in the works, and in New Zealand, a soap opera features television's first identified asexual character.

AVEN members have one concrete goal: changing the authoritative Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to make explicit that asexuality is not a "hypoactive sexual desire disorder." The next edition will be published by the American Psychiatric Association in 2012.

Copyright (c) 2009 Scripps Howard News Service http://www.abc2news.com/news/local/story/Asexuals-Can-some-people-live-happily-without-sex/iXCF_4JamEy2H4VpfQDCYA.cspx?rss=702

Dear folks who wrote me to be a penpal,

Just so you know I've had a major health issue spring up and I'm moving again... so I have pens pals in a folder that is very important to me and will write when I can.

Nic

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Hi Doug,

how are things there in lovely Hawaii? What are your hobbies? do you hike? I'm hoping to visit Hawaii on vacation sometime in 2010. What areas, as a native, would you recommend visiting?

Louise

i am indian from ahemadabad / 45m

On 29 Aug 2009, Doug Gibson said:

From

Doug Gibson <kuahelani@...>

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] (unknown)

To

[email protected]

Date

Saturday, August 29, 2009, 8:35 PM

aloha

eager to send and recieve messages

doug in honolulu

Anyone else in the DC area?

Anyone else in the DC area?

anyone in the midwest, korean woman, age 35

Anyone else in the DC area?

Is this group still together?  I don't see any messages since 2009...please confer.

I'm still here.

Jim Sinclair jisincla@... www.jimsinclair.org http://moosepuppy.petfinder.com

New Documentary, Asexuality: The Making of a Movement Wednesday July 21, 2010

While I've been familiar with the concept of being asexual since my early days in sex education, I first heard about asexuality as an identity from David Jay, the founder of the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network. David, and the thousands of people who came to join him in the online space he created, talked about their experience with such honesty and clarity and at the same time never glossing over the incredible conflict, confusion, and frustration that comes with living in a society that is so saturated in sexual messages, and not experiencing sexual attraction to others. Hearing from them about their experience sparked a hundred ideas in my mind and many conversations with friends, lovers, and colleagues.... http://sexuality.about.com/b/2010/07/21/new-documentary-asexuality-the-making-of-a-movement.htm

I'm still here, I'm just a very boring person. However, I do have a question. Are there any asexual characters being portrayed in the entertainment media, TV, books, anything? I want to see someone stand up like Ellen and say I'm asexual.

the other day on the Early Show a magazine editor who had interviewed Lady GaGa said that Lady GaGa was asexual since she was not interested in selling her sexuality - just her outrageousness.

I'm still here, I'm just a very boring person. However, I do have a question. Are there any asexual characters being portrayed in the entertainment media, TV, books, anything? I want to see someone stand up like Ellen and say I'm asexual.

Is this forum still open??? :)

I believe that Sherlock Holmes, from Sherlock (BBC) is portrayed as asexual. There will be another series next year, which I'm happy about! :D

I'm still here, I'm just a very boring person. However, I do have a question. Are there any asexual characters being portrayed in the entertainment media, TV, books, anything? I want to see someone stand up like Ellen and say I'm asexual.

Hi, I'm a new member to this group and I'm from Sydney, Australia. I would like to know if there are any other members from Sydney?

To the rest of the members, thank you for allowing me to be part of this group and I hope that we can have some great discussions in the future...

Cheers Al.

Why does nobody post here, may I ask????

I posted the last time there was a round of "is anyone here?" posts. I am new here so I wrote an Introduction. When no-one responded I presumed the group was dead so I didn't bother posting anything else.

I'm glad to see there are others here though; perhaps we can resuscitate it.

Stephanie

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Why does nobody post here, may I ask????

Asexuality as a Human Sexual Orientation Jessica Engelman Only in the past few years has the public in general accepted homosexuality and bisexuality as genuine sexual orientations (although debates over cause, morality, and status in society continue), but now another orientation is being proposed: asexuality. What is it, and is it really a sexual orientation, determined before birth like heterosexuality or homosexuality are now theorized to be? Traditionally, "asexual" referred to the reproduction of simplistic organisms (amoebas, primitive worms, fungi, etc.) or in humans to a lack of sexual organs or an inability to feel/act sexually due to disability or other condition. However, the new proposed definition for "asexual" presents it as a (human) sexual orientation, following that if heterosexuality is attraction to the opposite sex, homosexuality is attraction to the same sex, bisexuality is attraction to both, asexuality is attraction to neither sex. An exact definition has not been officially set, so most "experts" in the area reference AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network): "a person who does not experience sexual attraction." This is not to be confused with chastity, which is a choice to not act upon sexual urges (for asexuality to be an orientation it must be innate, not a choice). Even this definition is slightly incomplete; AVEN implicitly indicates asexuality only refers to lack of sexual attraction to another person. (1) The reason I cite a non-academic website (AVEN is actually an online community for asexuals devoted to providing opportunities for these previously isolated individuals to interact and promote awareness about asexuality) and put "experts" in quotes is that the subject of human asexuality has received almost no academic attention, nor in literature, nor by society, and only in the past few months has it become a hot topic in the media. In just the end of March/beginning of April 2006 segments on asexuality were featured on CNN, 20/20, MSNBC, and even Fox News. This recent interest has sparked some notice from researchers, but asexuality isn't as clear-cut as the other three "recognized" orientations.... (Read the remainder of this article here-- http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1870 )

Dispelling Common Myths about AsexualityA wake up call to the world, to let non-asexuals know what asexuality really is, not what the pop psychologists think it is by basing their theories on apathetic amoebas.... http://hubpages.com/hub/Dispelling-Common-Myths-about-Asexuality

New laws of attraction David Zuluaga Cano examines the marginialized status of asexuality By David Zuluaga Cano Published: Sep 15 It leaves you tired, sweaty, and smelly – when one stops to think about it, sex is not very sexy. Yet sex appears to be one of humanity’s favourite activities, reflected in our more-than-positive population growth-rate. For a segment of our society, however, sex holds little appeal. These people, whose sexual behaviour has only in recent years begun to be studied seriously in recent years, may identify as asexual.... http://mcgilldaily.com/articles/33039

Not many do post here, just a few :)

I posted the last time there was a round of "is anyone here?" posts. I am new here so I wrote an Introduction. When no-one responded I presumed the group was dead so I didn't bother posting anything else.

I'm glad to see there are others here though; perhaps we can resuscitate it.

Stephanie

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Why does nobody post here, may I ask????

I don't know but I am interested in talkling.

Why does nobody post here, may I ask????

Hi Stephanie,

I am a SWF, 54 living in Denver, CO moving to Texas.  I've been celibate for over 20 years. I'm not much for emailing back and forth, but was wondering if you would be into talking on the phone?

I have free long distance so if you want I can call you.

Rene 720-329-1171

I posted the last time there was a round of "is anyone here?" posts. I am new here so I wrote an Introduction. When no-one responded I presumed the group was dead so I didn't bother posting anything else.

I'm glad to see there are others here though; perhaps we can resuscitate it.

Stephanie

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Why does nobody post here, may I ask????