Haven for the Human Amoeba

Hey Everyone,

I haven't posted for awhile and have grown and changed quite a bit since I joined this group. I continue to grow on my spiritual path and have recently realized a more androgynous concept of myself. Similar to asexual yet different. I've gotten to know an androgynous friend (technically female) who considers herself sexual yet in a way I'm more interested in. I call it spiritual intimacy in that it is being intimate with the spiritual body (energy) with barely touching each other physically. Yet the physical body actually becomes aroused as a natural response. Interesting, no?

Anyone relate to this or interested in it?

Katharine

Copy this page and send it to the group with the appropriate answers.

1. Name/age: Patricia / 51 2. Gender: Female

3. Race:White 4. Geographic Location: Missouri> > 5. Have you ever had sex? yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Male 7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Somewhat

8. Are you married? Divorced And if not, do you ever want to get married? No Do you crave non-sexual romance? YES

9. Do you have or want children? I already have 6 grown

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Depends

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Sometimes as it seems we live in a sexual world

12. Do you date or desire companionship? I desire companionship Do you like to kiss? depends

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? No.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? Yes/Step-father

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? Young adulthood

1. Name/age: Jim Sinclair (pen name; real name not used online)/47

2. Gender: Neuter

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Upstate New York

5. Have you ever had sex? No

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Not sexually attracted to anyone. Capable of emotional attraction to people of any gender.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Yes

8. Are you married? No

And if not, do you ever want to get married? Not in the formal sense of marriage as a presumed-sexual relationship, in which (regardless of whether one is straight or gay) one's own gender needs to be defined as male or female. I am open to the possibility of having a life partner. But it would definitely need to be someone who's comfortable living outside of conventionally defined social structures!

Do you crave non-sexual romance? Crave, no. Open to, I think so. I'd need a clearer definition of what "romance" is, because right now I'm not sure what it means so I'm not comfortable using the word.

9. Do you have or want children? Don't have any. Would like to foster or possibly adopt some, particularly autistic ones.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Yes

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? No, I'm quite happy with it.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? I don't date. I don't have any wish to date. I'm confused about why "desire companionship" is included in the same question as "date." It makes me wonder whether "companionship" is being used to mean something other than what I think it means. I do value what *I* think of as companionship. I don't desire a dating partner.

Do you like to kiss? NO. Ugh. I keep my mouth to myself and expect others to do the same.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? That implies that my disinterest in sex is a "symptom" of some kind of "disorder." I don't view it that way.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? I was sexually bullied and threatened, but never raped.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? I'm not sure. Probably as soon as I realized that most people are interested in sex.

Seems like this might work well for an introduction. 8)

1. Name/age: Sara 26

2. Gender: Female

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Washington, near Seattle

5. Have you ever had sex? Nope

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Both, really

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Sometimes. With certain people.

8. Are you married? Nope And if not, do you ever want to get married? Not particularly Do you crave non-sexual romance? Sometimes. Sometimes, I am content by myself.

9. Do you have or want children? Oh God, no. Children are lovely but only when they belong to other people. 8)

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Sure.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? On occasion. If only because there are a lot of shared cultural experiences that I don't really get to take part in because of my disinterest in sexual romance.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? Not right now. Friends and family are enough for me at the moment.

Do you like to kiss? Not particularly. I mean, it's not that I particularly dislike it either, but it does really nothing for me.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Well, I haven't consulted a doctor about it or anything but I'm generally healthy, mentally and physically.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? No way.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? Young adulthood.

1. Name/age: Elizabeth / 32

2. Gender: androgynous female

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Northwest Arkansas

5. Have you ever had sex? No

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? I'm emotionally attracted to both males and females

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? with friends

8. Are you married? No

And if not, do you ever want to get married? Yes

Do you crave non-sexual romance? YES!

9. Do you have or want children? Nope

10. Do you like ANY human contact? YES

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Sometimes, as I feel I may never find another asexual to spend my life with. Life would be easier as sexual. I don't want to remain alone the rest of my life.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? I do desire companionship, and would date if I could find other asexuals or celibate individuals.

Do you like to kiss? NO. Ugh.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? No. Psychological reasons may be a contributing factor, but I really feel I was born this way. It's a sort of instinct I have.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? I was sexually abused.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? High school. I simply thought I was a late bloomer. In college I began to conceive myself as inhuman, until I found AVEN.

1. Name/age: Adam / 23

2. Gender: Male

3. Race: Mixed (but appear white)

4. Geographic Location: England

5. Have you ever had sex? Yeah, not very bothered by it

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Female (although do like a few trans too)

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Not at all

8. Are you married? No And if not, do you ever want to get married? Not bothered, depends on the person I'm with, if I ever find someone Do you crave non-sexual romance? YES

9. Do you have or want children? No

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Occasionally

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? A little 12. Do you date or desire companionship? Not anymore... can't find anyone (ditto) Do you like to kiss? Depends, on mood.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychologic al reasons for your disinterest in sex? Yep

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? I dont feel comfortable with this question

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? From early childhood, when others were drawn to girls and boys I was withdrawn from everyone

1. Name/age: Shi-Anne

2. Gender: Female

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Alberta

5. Have you ever had sex? No.

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Predominately male, but romantic interests are not restricted by gender. I identify as panromantic.

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? I've told four of my friends. I'm a member of a number of asexual groups on Facebook, which I have several friends that I haven't specifically told. My MSN display picture proclaims my asexuality. I also have an asexual shirt that I wear rarely. I'm pretty open.

8. Are you married? No.

And if not, do you ever want to get married? I'm not opposed to the idea of marriage. I'd much rather not have some sheet of paper telling me I'm in love, though. If my partner wanted to get married, I would. If they don't, then that's also fine by me. I do want a life-long partner, I just don't desire the expensive papers telling me so.

Do you crave non-sexual romance? I don't "crave" it. I do want to be in a non-sexual, romantic relationship later in life, but it's not something I actively desire and search for.

9. Do you have or want children? I do not have any children, I do not want any children.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Only if I know and trust the person very well. Other than that, don't EVER touch me, even if it is just to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Just a tad. Mostly because I feel like I will *never* find an asexual or low-libidoist partner.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? See answer to "Do you crave non-sexual romance?"

Do you like to kiss? I wouldn't mind kissing. Just no tongue. Yuck.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? I've never had any tests done, no. I know me, and I know it's not a medical condition. I've considered getting tests done, but decided against it.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? I have never been sexually molested. However, I was bullied endlessly in elementary for five years. After that, the bullying lasted for three years, but less severe than in elementary.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? I guess when I was about 15. It was then that I realised that everyone seemed to be interested in sex. I had always assumed everyone was like me. No craving sex, only having it just simply to make babies.

1. Name/age: Monique/42

2. Gender:Female

3. Race:African American

4. Geographic Location: Michigan

5. Have you ever had sex? (leave blank if the subject bothers you)Yes- once

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Males

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? No

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? Do you crave non-sexual romance?Not married.Yes, i would like to marry another asexual.I would like a non-sexual romance:))

9. Do you have or want children?No, i dont have children.Might want children by adoption.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Yes.Right now its just w/ family and co-workers.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? It doesnt bother me but i know it would bother my friends if they knew.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? Do you like to kiss?I dont date at the moment but would like to date or have companionship with another asexual.I dont like tongue kissing.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Yes.I always thought this way every since i was a small child.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? Yes, by a female. I was very small. I wasnt penetrated.But I never thought sex was bad from that incident.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? When i was 6 or 7 at first and boys were getting crushes on me but i just always wanted to be friends.Then i tried to have a boyfriend at 14 or 15 and was not interested in sex and tried tongue kissing and was totally disgusted.Tried sex at 32-33 and was totally disgusted.But loved the friendship, companionship, and romance experienced w/the guy!

Hi, am new to the group.

1. Name/age: Amy / 34

2. Gender: Female

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Georgia

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Female

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Nope

8. Are you married? No And if not, do you ever want to get married? Eh... maybe Do you crave non-sexual romance? yes

9. Do you have or want children? Would like to adopt

10. Do you like ANY human contact? YES!

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Yes. Crave touch.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? YES!

Do you like to kiss? Short kisses, yes. As a gesture of affection.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Yes

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? No, nothing of the sort.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? Um,... forever.

Hi! I am new to the group and wanted to just jump in with a greeting rather than starting a conversation or anything. Can't wait to see what the group talks about!

KC

1. Name/age: Michelle/37

2. Gender: Female

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Tampa Bay area, Florida

5. Have you ever had sex? yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Female, as females tend to have fewer sexual expectations, in my experience so far

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? NO, but may be changing

8. Are you married? No And if not, do you ever want to get married? maybe Do you crave non-sexual romance? romance=no companionship=yes

9. Do you have or want children? don't have own children, but have fostered and worked as nanny and household manager <LOVE KIDS>

10. Do you like ANY human contact? sure, just not with expectations of any kind, I am a very physically affectionate person

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? no, just bothered by closed minded ignorant people...but not that much...lol

12. Do you date or desire companionship? maybe Do you like to kiss? not so much

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Yes-everything works just fine...mind, body, spirit

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? no

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? as a child/pre-teen

I am a Massage Therapist and Spiritual Minister, and LOVE this subject...lol. Watch out, don't get me started.

I feel very strongly that this type connection is like connecting with the "God" in others...we are all connected Spiritually and our "Souls" or internal energies can find each other and bond and interact. I have seen many amazing things, healings like "laying on of hands", someone being able to tell who is near them (from behind, blindfolded, with earplugs and white noise, and scent mask on), and someone relaying stories of visiting relatives while they were in a coma (the stories were true). Other stuff too.

I know we can connect this way...I've seen it, and done it myself.

There are many other ways to connect intimately besides sexually. Jen

Hey Everyone,

I haven't posted for awhile and have grown and changed quite a bit since I joined this group. I continue to grow on my spiritual path and have recently realized a more androgynous concept of myself. Similar to asexual yet different. I've gotten to know an androgynous friend (technically female) who considers herself sexual yet in a way I'm more interested in. I call it spiritual intimacy in that it is being intimate with the spiritual body (energy) with barely touching each other physically. Yet the physical body actually becomes aroused as a natural response. Interesting, no?

Anyone relate to this or interested in it?

Katharine

Thanks for letting me join

My answers

name/age Ashley 31

gender female

race white

geographic location new england

have you ever had sex no

what gender if any are you attracted to female

are you open about your non sexuality? friends and family only

are you married no

if not do you plan on getting married no

do you crave non-sexual romance no

do you have or want children no

do you like any human contact no

are you bothered by your asexuality not anymore

do you date or desire companionship no

do u like to kiss no

have you ruled out medical reasons for asexuality yes I was born this way

when did i realize i was different high school

1. Name/age: Elizabeth / 32

2. Gender: androgynous female

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Northwest Arkansas

5. Have you ever had sex? No

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? I'm emotionally attracted to both males and females

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? with friends

8. Are you married? No

And if not, do you ever want to get married? Yes

Do you crave non-sexual romance? YES!

9. Do you have or want children? Nope

10. Do you like ANY human contact? YES

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Sometimes, as I feel I may never find another asexual to spend my life with. Life would be easier as sexual. I don't want to remain alone the rest of my life.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? I do desire companionship, and would date if I could find other asexuals or celibate individuals.

Do you like to kiss? NO. Ugh.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? No. Psychological reasons may be a contributing factor, but I really feel I was born this way. It's a sort of instinct I have.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? I was sexually abused.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? High school. I simply thought I was a late bloomer. In college I began to conceive myself as inhuman, until I found AVEN.

Hi Karen, I Live in Westminster, near Denver. I'd up to chatting. Cynthia

Hi Texas,

I'm in Denver, looking to chat with people on the phone.  Is anyone up for it?

Rene

On 2 Feb 2009, Mary Hancock said:

From

Mary Hancock <maryhncck@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Hello

To

[email protected]

Date

Monday, February 2, 2009, 12:39 PM

Hello from the same in Texas :-)

Ashley <confusedone72@ hotmail.com> wrote:

30 year old asexual woman in mass just wanted to say hello

1. Name/age: David 34

2. Gender: Intersexed

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Northern Minnesota

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? All

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Somewhat

8. Are you married? Yes And if not, do you ever want to get married? Do you crave non-sexual romance? No

9. Do you have or want children? No

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Sometimes

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Not really, but my mate is. 12. Do you date or desire companionship? No Do you like to kiss? Yes

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Yes

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? Yes

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? 14

Hi, I am amazed to read some of the messages in this site. I am 44 years old, married with two children and have had no desire to have sex in the past eight to ten years. I have questioned myself continually, had therapy, tried the stupid books to "ignite romance" and I just have no interest! I am perfectly happy to remain this way, however, the pressure from society to be highly sexual makes me feel really guilty and weird. My husdband says he accepts me this way but the outsdie pressure makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. I was not sexually abused as a child but did come from a home with two alcoholic parents, my mother was especially bad so I sometimes feel like it may have contirbuted to this. I don't want to dwell in my past though and just want to move forward in my life without guilt. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

1. Name/age: Elizabeth/46

2. Gender: Female

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Western New York

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Romantically attracted to both

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Somewhat

8. Are you married? Not formally

And if not, do you ever want to get married?

Do you crave non-sexual romance? Yes

9. Do you have or want children? Not now.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Some.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Not at all.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? not relevant

Do you like to kiss? Not much.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Yes.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? Irrelevant to issues of sexual orientation.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? Just before adolescence.

For many years, people believed that homosexuality was brought about by sexual abuse of children. That a boy sexually abused by a man would, as a result, favor men sexually. The question concerning sexual abuse is an attempt to tie sexual orientation to experience alone or to explain it by way of experience. If we truly believe that asexuality is an orientation, then the issue of childhood experience should be irrelevant. This is just Freudian nonsense.

Name/age Elizabeth, 46 Gender F Race W Location Western NY Attracted to neither gender Somewhat open about non-sexual nature Married? No. Not sure if I want to be. Had 3 children, all adults now. Some human contact desirable. My asexuality does not bother me. Dating, compantionship is okay. I don't like to kiss. Yes. I have ruled out biological or experiential factors. I am simply this way.

Were you sexually molested as a child? If we believe asexuality is an orientation, then this question is irrelevant. My asexuality became apparent to me in my pre-teen years.

Im in Tucson but it would be worth the trek to meet others like me. :) So if and when you have future meetups can I request a weekend day so I'd have the time to get out there? SaMaNtHa

We will be having the first Phoenix Area Asexual Meetup on Saturday, May 24 at 1 pm.

We're meeting for lunch at My Big Fast Greek Restaurant on Mill Ave in Tempe and then possibly going to find some AVEN Cake.

Contact me (LaLunaVerde on AVEN) if interested!

Loking for like minded friends for chat. Am 60 yr old widow in OR.

Nice to meet new friends!

Secondseason

my name is tara live in munich germany like to know you and talk to you i am in your age you can write me to: mamoly at gmx.de

a photograph from "adultmatchclub.com" in the photos section of our group area? It seems strangely out of place.

1. Name/age: Johannah & Jonathan 25

2. Gender: Genderqueer (transgender masculine + feminine)

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: Chicago

5. Have you ever had sex? nope

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to? Mainly women and genderqueer folk; men somewhat

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? It virtually never comes up. When it does, I'm open.

8. Are you married? No And if not, do you ever want to get married? I'm inclined to say yes Do you crave non-sexual romance? No. I'm semi-romantic and would enjoy it but if it never happens again, that's ok.

9. Do you have or want children? Can't decide.

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Of course!

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? Yes. It really rules out who I can have a romantic relationship with.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? Not anymore... can't find anyone

Do you like to kiss? There's nothing to make me think I do. I kissed once and it was dull.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? There's got to be some reason. But I don't care what it is.

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? Nope, I had a wonderful childhood.

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality? 16 years old but because of being transgender, not asexual. My first feeling different regarding a lack of sexual interest was when I was 20 and close friends told me they were having sex which I couldn't comprehend.

So this is really late.

The body and spirit (or mind or whatever you prefer) are two sides of the same coin. Where one goes, the other must go too, if only lagging behind a bit.

I don't understand how sexuality can be non-physical. Isn't non-physical "sexuality" actually romance? The word "sexual" comes from "sex" meaning the state of being female or male which are physical states. As opposed to "gender" which refers to "androgyne," "man", or "woman" etc which are social, emotional, spiritual, etc states. Maybe I'm being picky, but I wouldn't call it "sexuality." "Romance" or "intimacy" seem more accurate.

Johannah transchristians.org

*In Christ there is neither male nor female.* Saint Paul to the Church in Galatia 3.28

Hey Everyone,

I haven't posted for awhile and have grown and changed quite a bit since I joined this group. I continue to grow on my spiritual path and have recently realized a more androgynous concept of myself. Similar to asexual yet different. I've gotten to know an androgynous friend (technically female) who considers herself sexual yet in a way I'm more interested in. I call it spiritual intimacy in that it is being intimate with the spiritual body (energy) with barely touching each other physically. Yet the physical body actually becomes aroused as a natural response. Interesting, no?

Anyone relate to this or interested in it?

Katharine

I'm going with Jim on this one. Conception only defines karyotype. Sex takes a lot longer to form; ~9 months depending on how exactly you want to define "sex." Gender doesn't even start until birth. When someone comes of age (whatever you take that to mean) their gender changes from girl to woman or boy to man. For transgender people, gender will go thru other changes.

But I do think saying every person is female for several weeks after conception is accurate since their body overwhelming resembles a mature female versus a mature male. But it is much more accurate to include the whole story and specify that "female" and "male" really aren't the exclusive, immutable categories culture leads us to believe.

Johannah

On 17 Feb 2007, 14:56 +00:00, Dennis Hawkins said:

There is also Androgen Insensitivity Disorder. This affects males who produce testosterone in normal levels, but their body does not respond to it. They have testicles internal like a female's ovaries and their external appearance is female.

Androgen insensitivity syndrome, like Turner's syndrome, is only one of many different conditions that fall under the general umbrella term of "intersex." Androgen insensitivity ranges from partial to complete, with resulting external appearances ranging from appearing unremarkably female through ambiguous genitalia to appearing clearly male but underdeveloped.

Gender of a human embryo is determined at conception by the male sperm.

Nope. Only the karyotype of the human embryo is determined at conception: XX, XY, XXY, XYY, any number of other combinations of 3 or more sex chromosomes, or Turner's syndrome with just one X. And then there are chimeras. There are lots more than just two possibilities.

And that's just the beginning, the blueprint. Between conception and birth, and then between birth and maturity, all sorts of things can happen that weren't predicted in the blueprints. Other genetic conditions such as androgen insensitivity syndrome or congenital adrenal hyperplasia, exposure to unusual hormones or other chemicals in utero, production of unusual hormones by a child's own endocrine system, exposure to environmental toxins, even (for males) traumatic accidents and decisions made about reconstructive surgery...all these can bring about a body that's not the same sex the chromosomes say it should be.

And that's still just physical *sex*. *Gender* is psychological and social, determined throughout the lifespan, and may or may not be consistent with the appearance of the body.

J8 www.jimsinclair.org