Haven for the Human Amoeba

I disagree- asexuality, though it can be a result of repression, hormonal imbalance or psychological trauma can also be a bona fied sexual orienation, with all of the inherint mysteries thereof. No one in the scientific community to date has any clue where hetero, homo or bisexuality come from, so I don't see any reason why we should expect any big breakthroughs on asexuality. It may not be something that you want to eliminate, or (if it's like homosexuality) something that you can. It may be an intrinsic part of you, in which case you should live your life as best you can in what really amounts to a socially awkward situation. Whether its intrinsic or caused you should strive to understand it and understand how to deal with it better. If you become completely comfortable with your asexuality and its just an unhealthy construct it'll fall apart, if you do so and its a legit part of your identity then it'll stay and you'll know how to be happy with it.

-DJ

More on this subject: I happen to feel everything happens for a reason. I'm not really religious, so I'm more likely to look for "natural" reasons, based on physics, biology, etc. Anyway, asexuality has, in my opinion, got to have a reason for it to happen or exist. I'm "philosophically" asexual. I chose it... while I recognize attraction from a straight male point of view, sex isn't the way I choose to express it. Other people (no one in particular) might be asexual from some kind of abuse. Others might potentially have a hormonal difference. I don't know all the possible biological and psychological causes... but my point is, if you're asexual, if sex makes you sick, there's got to be a reason for it. If you don't want to be asexual, its best to figure out what that reason is... tha'ts the first step.

djay@w... said:

While I'm not personally religious, I have alot of friends who struggle with reconciling their religious faith and their sexual orientation. There's probably alot of literature out that for lesbian/bi/gay LDS people that might be useful to look over. A good portion of it won't apply, but at least some will be personally useful in terms of reconciling your sexual needs (in this case, not being sexual) with your religious ones. Doing a quick internet search I found http://www.affirmation.org/ ,don't know how good it is.

I wrote an article resently on asexuality, queer theory and religion, I'll repost it at the bottom of this message, you might find it interesting. Here's the gyst of my advice (even though I'm not religious I have spent alot of time thinking about this stuff, so hopefully it will be useful.)

First and foremost, God will love you whether or not you have sex. I'm not that educated in christian or LDS theory, but everything I've seen supports this:our relationship with God is both intimate and strong. Intimate, strong relationships don't write down all the rules at the beginning and then contractually obey, they continually communicate, dialogue and redefine. Look at the commandments: what's REALLY important in them. You don't want to have sex, so maybe that means you don't want to have a traditional marraige, but maybe you can accomplish the same things asexually through a nontraditional relationship. I would argue that you can still be as emotionally close and intimate with someone as if you were having sex with them. There are documented cases of people nonsexually getting together, becoming extremely close, living together and even raising children (look up the book "Boston Marraiges"). It taks work to figure out, but it's all extremely worthwhile and you wind up avoiding alot of the bullshit inherint in dating. Get creative, and remember that, generally speaking, sex doesn't matter. It's what sex DOES (emotionally or otherwise) that matters, and anything that sex does can be done other ways..

-DJ

I can't help but wonder whether anyone else has been through a similar situation. I am a member of the Church of Latter-Day's Saints. I am also asexual. However, the Church believes that, in order to fulfill all of God's commandments, one must be married - and intimate relations with one's wife are a requirement of this. Frankly, the thought of intimate relations with <i>anyone</i> makes me sick - although, physiologically, there is no reason why I cannot perform this function; the entire problem is psychological. So... what do I do? I'm not sure. I have conversations with my Bishop, I talk with the elders, but to no avail. I have, thus far, only admitted to being impotent - a blatant lie. (Already, my faith crumbles.) I <i>want</i> to be a good Christian, I try so hard to be righteous... Nevertheless, there appears to be no S-R link to becoming aroused - indeed, there is no response whatsoever for me to develop such connections... So, what do I do?

That's an open-ended question, I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone else who has experienced similar difficulties. In all honesty, I would describe myself as a man at the end of his tether. At home, my parents are going through a messy divorce. In College, I need to get perfect grades to get into the Universities I want to. And now, at Church, I am trying to cope with separation from all the other young men, all of whom are dating. I have lived as a gifted outcast, have been socially inept for the entirety of my life, and I now I am being placed apart due to my lack of orientation. How can I count on acceptance when all I have ever encountered in my life is segregation?

I am not writing to gather sympathies, or to debate, or to find friends. I write of a compulsion to know that I am not alone - so please, don't be too critical. :-)

- Jordan

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@y...

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

I disagree- asexuality, though it can be a result of repression, hormonal imbalance or psychological trauma can also be a bona fied sexual orienation, with all of the inherint mysteries thereof. No one in the scientific community to date has any clue where hetero, homo or bisexuality come from, so I don't see any reason why we should expect any big breakthroughs on asexuality. It may not be something that you want to eliminate, or (if it's like homosexuality) something that you can. It may be an intrinsic part of you, in which case you should live your life as best you can in what really amounts to a socially awkward situation. Whether its intrinsic or caused you should strive to understand it and understand how to deal with it better. If you become completely comfortable with your asexuality and its just an unhealthy construct it'll fall apart, if you do so and its a legit part of your identity then it'll stay and you'll know how to be happy with it.

-DJ

More on this subject: I happen to feel everything happens for a reason. I'm not really religious, so I'm more likely to look for "natural" reasons, based on physics, biology, etc. Anyway, asexuality has, in my opinion, got to have a reason for it to happen or exist. I'm "philosophically" asexual. I chose it... while I recognize attraction from a straight male point of view, sex isn't the way I choose to express it. Other people (no one in particular) might be asexual from some kind of abuse. Others might potentially have a hormonal difference. I don't know all the possible biological and psychological causes... but my point is, if you're asexual, if sex makes you sick, there's got to be a reason for it. If you don't want to be asexual, its best to figure out what that reason is... tha'ts the first step.

djay@w... said:

While I'm not personally religious, I have alot of friends who struggle with reconciling their religious faith and their sexual orientation. There's probably alot of literature out that for lesbian/bi/gay LDS people that might be useful to look over. A good portion of it won't apply, but at least some will be personally useful in terms of reconciling your sexual needs (in this case, not being sexual) with your religious ones. Doing a quick internet search I found http://www.affirmation.org/ ,don't know how good it is.

I wrote an article resently on asexuality, queer theory and religion, I'll repost it at the bottom of this message, you might find it interesting. Here's the gyst of my advice (even though I'm not religious I have spent alot of time thinking about this stuff, so hopefully it will be useful.)

First and foremost, God will love you whether or not you have sex. I'm not that educated in christian or LDS theory, but everything I've seen supports this:our relationship with God is both intimate and strong. Intimate, strong relationships don't write down all the rules at the beginning and then contractually obey, they continually communicate, dialogue and redefine. Look at the commandments: what's REALLY important in them. You don't want to have sex, so maybe that means you don't want to have a traditional marraige, but maybe you can accomplish the same things asexually through a nontraditional relationship. I would argue that you can still be as emotionally close and intimate with someone as if you were having sex with them. There are documented cases of people nonsexually getting together, becoming extremely close, living together and even raising children (look up the book "Boston Marraiges"). It taks work to figure out, but it's all extremely worthwhile and you wind up avoiding alot of the bullshit inherint in dating. Get creative, and remember that, generally speaking, sex doesn't matter. It's what sex DOES (emotionally or otherwise) that matters, and anything that sex does can be done other ways..

-DJ

I can't help but wonder whether anyone else has been through a similar situation. I am a member of the Church of Latter-Day's Saints. I am also asexual. However, the Church believes that, in order to fulfill all of God's commandments, one must be married - and intimate relations with one's wife are a requirement of this. Frankly, the thought of intimate relations with <i>anyone</i> makes me sick - although, physiologically, there is no reason why I cannot perform this function; the entire problem is psychological. So... what do I do? I'm not sure. I have conversations with my Bishop, I talk with the elders, but to no avail. I have, thus far, only admitted to being impotent - a blatant lie. (Already, my faith crumbles.) I <i>want</i> to be a good Christian, I try so hard to be righteous... Nevertheless, there appears to be no S-R link to becoming aroused - indeed, there is no response whatsoever for me to develop such connections... So, what do I do?

That's an open-ended question, I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone else who has experienced similar difficulties. In all honesty, I would describe myself as a man at the end of his tether. At home, my parents are going through a messy divorce. In College, I need to get perfect grades to get into the Universities I want to. And now, at Church, I am trying to cope with separation from all the other young men, all of whom are dating. I have lived as a gifted outcast, have been socially inept for the entirety of my life, and I now I am being placed apart due to my lack of orientation. How can I count on acceptance when all I have ever encountered in my life is segregation?

I am not writing to gather sympathies, or to debate, or to find friends. I write of a compulsion to know that I am not alone - so please, don't be too critical. :-)

- Jordan

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@y...

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

Oh I wasn't denying that sexual orientation could be one of the reasons for asexuality. But that's just it... it IS one of the reasons, and I'm just saying there's a reason for everything. Sexual orientation being one of those reasons. There's probably a possible mix of culture, hormones, and biology with can contribute to sexual orientation. I always figured it was just hormones that made me straight, philosophy that made me "asexual". Sexual orientation, like the rest of the universe, would have a reason behind its existence as well... just because we don't know what it is doesn't mean its there. But yeah, asexuality can be a sexual orientation, or one of many other things. The point was that if you want to try to stop being asexual, you better at least first decide or find out why you're asexual.

I disagree- asexuality, though it can be a result of repression, hormonal imbalance or psychological trauma can also be a bona fied sexual orienation, with all of the inherint mysteries thereof. No one in the scientific community to date has any clue where hetero, homo or bisexuality come from, so I don't see any reason why we should expect any big breakthroughs on asexuality. It may not be something that you want to eliminate, or (if it's like homosexuality) something that you can. It may be an intrinsic part of you, in which case you should live your life as best you can in what really amounts to a socially awkward situation. Whether its intrinsic or caused you should strive to understand it and understand how to deal with it better. If you become completely comfortable with your asexuality and its just an unhealthy construct it'll fall apart, if you do so and its a legit part of your identity then it'll stay and you'll know how to be happy with it.

-DJ

More on this subject: I happen to feel everything happens for a reason. I'm not really religious, so I'm more likely to look for "natural" reasons, based on physics, biology, etc. Anyway, asexuality has, in my opinion, got to have a reason for it to happen or exist. I'm "philosophically" asexual. I chose it... while I recognize attraction from a straight male point of view, sex isn't the way I choose to express it. Other people (no one in particular) might be asexual from some kind of abuse. Others might potentially have a hormonal difference. I don't know all the possible biological and psychological causes... but my point is, if you're asexual, if sex makes you sick, there's got to be a reason for it. If you don't want to be asexual, its best to figure out what that reason is... tha'ts the first step.

djay@w... said:

While I'm not personally religious, I have alot of friends who struggle with reconciling their religious faith and their sexual orientation. There's probably alot of literature out that for lesbian/bi/gay LDS people that might be useful to look over. A good portion of it won't apply, but at least some will be personally useful in terms of reconciling your sexual needs (in this case, not being sexual) with your religious ones. Doing a quick internet search I found http://www.affirmation.org/ ,don't know how good it is.

I wrote an article resently on asexuality, queer theory and religion, I'll repost it at the bottom of this message, you might find it interesting. Here's the gyst of my advice (even though I'm not religious I have spent alot of time thinking about this stuff, so hopefully it will be useful.)

First and foremost, God will love you whether or not you have sex. I'm not that educated in christian or LDS theory, but everything I've seen supports this:our relationship with God is both intimate and strong. Intimate, strong relationships don't write down all the rules at the beginning and then contractually obey, they continually communicate, dialogue and redefine. Look at the commandments: what's REALLY important in them. You don't want to have sex, so maybe that means you don't want to have a traditional marraige, but maybe you can accomplish the same things asexually through a nontraditional relationship. I would argue that you can still be as emotionally close and intimate with someone as if you were having sex with them. There are documented cases of people nonsexually getting together, becoming extremely close, living together and even raising children (look up the book "Boston Marraiges"). It taks work to figure out, but it's all extremely worthwhile and you wind up avoiding alot of the bullshit inherint in dating. Get creative, and remember that, generally speaking, sex doesn't matter. It's what sex DOES (emotionally or otherwise) that matters, and anything that sex does can be done other ways..

-DJ

I can't help but wonder whether anyone else has been through a similar situation. I am a member of the Church of Latter- Day's Saints. I am also asexual. However, the Church believes that, in order to fulfill all of God's commandments, one must be married - and intimate relations with one's wife are a requirement of this. Frankly, the thought of intimate relations with <i>anyone</i> makes me sick - although, physiologically, there is no reason why I cannot perform this function; the entire problem is psychological. So... what do I do? I'm not sure. I have conversations with my Bishop, I talk with the elders, but to no avail. I have, thus far, only admitted to being impotent - a blatant lie. (Already, my faith crumbles.) I <i>want</i> to be a good Christian, I try so hard to be righteous... Nevertheless, there appears to be no S-R link to becoming aroused - indeed, there is no response whatsoever for me to develop such connections... So, what do I do?

That's an open-ended question, I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone else who has experienced similar difficulties. In all honesty, I would describe myself as a man at the end of his tether. At home, my parents are going through a messy divorce. In College, I need to get perfect grades to get into the Universities I want to. And now, at Church, I am trying to cope with separation from all the other young men, all of whom are dating. I have lived as a gifted outcast, have been socially inept for the entirety of my life, and I now I am being placed apart due to my lack of orientation. How can I count on acceptance when all I have ever encountered in my life is segregation?

I am not writing to gather sympathies, or to debate, or to find friends. I write of a compulsion to know that I am not alone - so please, don't be too critical. :-)

- Jordan

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@y...

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@y...

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

True; some people are still happy in a celibate relationship, others aren't.

Hmm, well if that's the definition, I'd certainly prefer an asexual to celibate relationship, since it probably wouldn't work out too well if I was with a really sexual woman.

icewindgale said:

It's asexual for me, because I don't want sex. It's celibate for him, because although he has no problem without it, he'd be quite happy if I changed my mind.

steven_n_g said:

So... whats the difference between an asexual relationship and a celibate one? Aren't they both going to just come down to a no sex relationship?

Very interesting. If it is for real, make sure to straighten him out about the fact that we shouldn't be lumped in with *anti*sexuals and such. I suppose any exposure is better than no exposure, but it would be nice to have a somewhat pleasant first impression on the Masses.

Ah, I suppose I should watch television more often.

Then again...

yes, and no - it's a scatalogical/satire/smear show - the only reason they'd bring it up would be to mock it. from what little i know of the show, it's a string of uninspired fart-jokes, strung together with a laugh track - not a particularily inspiring forum for an open debate on sexual orientation.

The difference might be, in a celibate situation, the person might not be celibate by choice but by disability or circumstances, they might have also had an active sex life in the past, whereas in the asexual case, sex is simply not desired at all and there is no disability or unusual situation involved.

So... whats the difference between an asexual relationship and a celibate one? Aren't they both going to just come down to a no sex relationship?

athenayu9 said:

I wish I could find an asexual relationship or celibate one! There are just not that many of us out there!

firmyau said:

I have gotten to the point where I try to avoid female friends if at all possible. Having 3 women think they could somehow change my sexuality just after I started university hasnt helped. I still cant see where along the line that they mistook my friendship for something more. I am scared about the future as well, I dont know what would happen in the workplace, do I dare make friends or just try to blend into the background? I still wonder why some people consider that their way is the only way, that what may be very enjoyable for them, must be enjoyable for others. I still live with the dream that one day I might meet an asexual partner, and not have to analyse my actions in order to make sure I dont do something that will trigger any sexual response with people I converse with. Has there been anyone from this group who has an asexual relationship now or in the past? Are the chances of meeting such a person that great?

empfindsamer_stil said:

They've hit the nail on the head, by George!

I took that test that you mentioned, and I came up asexual! They were 13.75% sure of it. In the description, they said they were hesitant to even include that category, but they did anyway. Wow! I feel so much more confident in my choice to accept this as my sexuality! *sarcasm* It' s amazing how they can tell that just by a few questions about what parts of Abraham Lincoln I find disturbing. . . . .

Attention Ladies! (and perhaps gentlemen, but mostly ladies):

Here's a little short story about what happened to me last night if anyone's interested. I went out to a bar with a guy friend whom I do not know very well. I stated about 20 times that I wasn't interested in dating. Afterwords, he dropped me off at my place and asked to use the bathroom because he had consumed many beers. I let him in and he said he wanted to see my bedroom. I didn't want to be rude so I gave him the grand tour of my place and he said my room had a lot of "character," whatever that means. Then I quickly whisked him out of my room in case he had any ideas about what we could do (even though I said we were just friends). Then he said he wanted to go to the beach so we walked to the beach. It was about 3:00 in the morning. I was getting a little suspicious at this point. Plus, he kept going on and on with that "You just need to find the right person" crap. I wanted to keep walking around so that things didn't get awkward, and thus, intimate. He insisted on sitting down on a bench. Of course, he puts his arm around me. ( I was starting to see that coming) Then I lied that I was cold and that we should keep walking. I think he could tell I was getting really nervous so he asked me if he was coming on too strong. I said yes. I think he was starting to get the point. I walked him back to his car and then he gave me a good-bye hug. As we were pulling apart, he paused and I think he was trying to kiss me. I pulled away quickly, perhaps being a little too blatant about how I didn't want to get that close. He said good-bye in a melancholy manner. I don't know if he'll ever contact me again. I couldn't help thinking that if I had gone out to a bar and the beach with my girlfriends, I wouldn't be uncomfortable. Gee, could that be because they are not trying to get with me? Why do guys have to be like that? There are so few straight men who understand the definition of 'friends.' Arrgh! Does this happen to anyone else on a regular basis? This was slightly unusual for me because I don't socialize that often with people I hardly know.

I just needed to let that out. Most people don't understand why that situation would make me uncomfortable. I don't understand why people can't just hang out as people instead of 'man and woman.' I just want a friend! Why is that so hard to comprehend!

Check this shit out. Is this for real?

----- Forwarded message from Matt Moses <mmoses@...> ----- Date: Wed, 08 May 2002 21:57:04 GMT From: Matt Moses <mmoses@...> Reply-To: Matt Moses <mmoses@...> To: djay@...

Hello, My name is Matt Moses. I'm currently conducting research for a possible piece on asexuality/anti-sexuality/celibacy for a television show called The Daily Show. I'd love to speak to you about asexuality. If there's a good time for me to

call you, please let me know. I'm just in the preliminary stages of my research on this piece, but I think

it's a topic that deserves attention in the media. I hope you can help.

Thank you,

Matt Moses (212) 468-1713

----- End forwarded message -----

yes, and no - it's a scatalogical/satire/smear show - the only reason they'd bring it up would be to mock it. from what little i know of the show, it's a string of uninspired fart-jokes, strung together with a laugh track - not a particularily inspiring forum for an open debate on sexual orientation.

byron

Check this shit out. Is this for real?

----- Forwarded message from Matt Moses <mmoses@...> ----- Date: Wed, 08 May 2002 21:57:04 GMT From: Matt Moses <mmoses@...> Reply-To: Matt Moses <mmoses@...> To: djay@...

Hello, My name is Matt Moses. I'm currently conducting research for a possible piece on asexuality/anti-sexuality/celibacy for a television show called The Daily Show. I'd love to speak to you about asexuality. If there's a good time for me to

call you, please let me know. I'm just in the preliminary stages of my research on this piece, but I think

it's a topic that deserves attention in the media. I hope you can help.

Thank you,

Matt Moses (212) 468-1713

----- End forwarded message -----

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

Games, Movies, Music & Sports! http://entertainment.yahoo.ca

There's nothing wrong with being a eunuch (sp?). In fact, I believe Saul (called Paul) was one and the Savior did not have sex with anyone either. There are so many different interpretations of the bible, it's amazing. I've never attended a CLDS service so I can't say for sure what your church doctrine means by that rule, but may I guess? I think they got that from the scripture that says it's better for a man to marry and settle down with one woman (instead of running around trying to boink every skirt out there). Okay, that's my way of paraphrasing that scripture - LOL! But seriously, I think that if you carry yourself upright and properly (especially around the other members of your congregation), then they'll notice that you are not a "problem child". Someone once said "rules are for the unruly". Your lack of interest in sex is a good thing. It allows you the freedom to think of spriritual things more often each day than some "skirt-chaser". Just keep being the best human you can be and treat everyone with love and respect. They'll learn to love you for that. I agree with someone else's statement about the Creator being merciful and loving. Trust me, He loves you!

I can't help but wonder whether anyone else has been through a similar situation. I am a member of the Church of Latter-Day's Saints. I am also asexual. However, the Church believes that, in order to fulfill all of God's commandments, one must be married - and intimate relations with one's wife are a requirement of this. Frankly, the thought of intimate relations with <i>anyone</i> makes me sick - although, physiologically, there is no reason why I cannot perform this function; the entire problem is psychological. So... what do I do? I'm not sure. I have conversations with my Bishop, I talk with the elders, but to no avail. I have, thus far, only admitted to being impotent - a blatant lie. (Already, my faith crumbles.) I <i>want</i> to be a good Christian, I try so hard to be righteous... Nevertheless, there appears to be no S-R link to becoming aroused - indeed, there is no response whatsoever for me to develop such connections... So, what do I do?

That's an open-ended question, I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone else who has experienced similar difficulties. In all honesty, I would describe myself as a man at the end of his tether. At home, my parents are going through a messy divorce. In College, I need to get perfect grades to get into the Universities I want to. And now, at Church, I am trying to cope with separation from all the other young men, all of whom are dating. I have lived as a gifted outcast, have been socially inept for the entirety of my life, and I now I am being placed apart due to my lack of orientation. How can I count on acceptance when all I have ever encountered in my life is segregation?

I am not writing to gather sympathies, or to debate, or to find friends. I write of a compulsion to know that I am not alone - so please, don't be too critical. :-)

- Jordan

The description b_elliott_walker gave is pretty accurate. If you do decide to do it, expect there to be LOTS of jokes at the expense of you, and likely no real message about asexuality given in the "report" they air.

That's pretty much where I am with it. Would it be worth it for whatever publicity might soak through (it could well be powerful for struggling asexual people just to see that there's something out there). I agree with everyone that I'm not that keen on having myself or my sexual orientation dragged up on national TV and laughed at. I'll get more details sometime soon over the phone, making sure the conversation isn't recorded.

-DJ

The description b_elliott_walker gave is pretty accurate. If you do decide to do it, expect there to be LOTS of jokes at the expense of you, and likely no real message about asexuality given in the "report" they air.

I don't know the show (since I'm not from America), so I can't say anything about the show itself. I think if they intend to do something on asexuality, they will do it anyway, with or without you. They will try to get all the information they can get and if this isn't enough, they will probably "transform it" in something that has nothing to do with what asexuality is about. There's the risk of getting wrong information spread around (if you don't cooperate). If you do, obviously, there's a big chance that it will not be talked about in a neutral way. Personally, I would prefer not to cooperate, at least, you can take distance from what "they say". What is said, aren't your words. But, even if people laugh at it and joke about it, if it is seen by other asexual people, the other asexuals will get the message that it exists (even if it is painful to see what way others react on it). I think people will start looking for information themselves, ... At least, that's what happened in my neighbourhood.

That's pretty much where I am with it. Would it be worth it for whatever publicity might soak through (it could well be powerful for struggling asexual people just to see that there's something out there). I agree with everyone that I'm not that keen on having myself or my sexual orientation dragged up on national TV and laughed at. I'll get more details sometime soon over the phone, making sure the conversation isn't recorded.

-DJ

The description b_elliott_walker gave is pretty accurate. If you do decide to do it, expect there to be LOTS of jokes at the expense of you, and likely no real message about asexuality given in the "report" they air.

"waitress, and i wanna be a writer :)"

That is just classic.

http://mycam.z3z.net my free webcam is up guys. I'll be posting pics in yahoo club tonight.

-...¹²³¯¯¯---¹²³._.¸¸...-¨¨ ¸¸---..

At least the last person who tried this on here had a cool looking bowling pin.

http://mycam.z3z.net my free webcam is up guys. I'll be posting pics in yahoo club tonight.

-...¹²³¯¯¯---¹²³._.¸¸...-¨¨ ¸¸---..

There's a newcomer to the google asexuality hitlist:

http://pubweb.acns.nwu.edu/~msd424/index.html

Anyone here? There's no place to e-mail the webmaster, so it remains a bunch of pretty graphics. Kind of fun. I don't know if I agree with the fruedian analysis of asexuality, though its an interesting perspective (I've become highly critical of anyone who considers sex to be of extreme importance.) What do people think of his "atomic thoery" model? Are we really asexual because we are more emotionally fulfilled (like noble gasses, ho-hum), or do we just seek our emotional fulfillment nonsexually (BTW that frees us up to find it in places other than people)? I'm wary about tying sex to emotion like that..

-DJ

The atomic theory is cute, but I don't think the analogy holds water (most do not.) If an asexual is indeed already "emotionally fulfilled," then the question becomes not why, but by what? If it was truly that simple, then there would be a *lot* more asexuals running around. Anyone who is content to read a book at home on Saturday night. Anyone who has a good circle of friends. Additionally, as you pointed out, this Requires emotional dependency to be linked to sexual dependency. If this need were truly coupled, then there would be other areas of our personalities that it would branch out into. For instance, do you feel better about yourself when other people compliment your work? I know that I do. I know that when I go for a period of time where nobody seems to notice my work, I began to lose faith in myself. I'd like to think that I didn't Need this, but it would be silly of me to say that I do not. The two are often linked because an intimate partner is really (among other things) a more consistent form of confirmation.

Important to note is that sexual relationships need not always be linked intimately, in fact I would go so far as to say that many are not. They may start out that way, but we wouldn't have such a massive divorce rate if they stayed tied together (I can only speak for this society that I live in. The fact that other nations and cultures do not have such a high divorce rate is really irrelevant to this point.) Sexual needs, and the need for personal confirmation are entirely different. Often mingled, yes, but not the same.

So, we are back to square one. A sexual person has the same needs for confirmation from others as an asexual. Corelation does not imply causation! (And the corelation seems to be inconsistent in light of who we are.)

So, yeah, interesting page. I'm not a big fan of Sigmund, either (I doubt many asexuals are.) Another thing that irked me was the Erik Erikson bit. The entire list is a positive vs negative. I don't see how anyone could rationalize that having an identity crisis is neither good nor bad. How are feelings of inferiority good to have? How is despair good? It would be odd for Erikson to throw in an ambiguous stage in a list of positives and negatives. (And yes, I realize that trust and mistrust could be a bit ambiguous, as all individuals should have a healthy dose of both, but consider the age group.)

I don't mean to rag on the site. It is neat to see another independant asexual mind appear on the radar, it is neat to see some new ideas. All in all, I think the site would work to help enlighten a sexual, and help them understand our side. That is good.

I just don't believe it answers any of our questions.

Ok, so I've been looking around a few websites and, even though its symantic bullshit, I'm curious where this term CAME from, and why it is in any way preferable to "asexuality," which is just easier to say.

<RANT> asexualISM? The closest phonetic parallel I can find is heterosexism (as distinguished form heterosexuality), and that's a form of oppression. Am I, all of a sudden, an asexualist? (It's like post-WWI politics: Turmoil broke out today, after election results showed an overwhelming victory by the People's Asexualist Party(PAP). The communists, socialists, marxists, and fascists took to the streets in mass demonstrations of protest, which were quickly quelled by the Amoeba Guards of the asexualist regime. The new party promised to boost the economy, decrease militancy, empower women and reduce the national birthrate through a series of radical reforms..) </RANT>

About Freud's theory: A few months ago, I followed a lecture on Freud's theory, looked through the eyes of a philosopher, who says (as I understood it) that "the ideal of harmony leads to abuse". He said that part of Freud's theory is the following (on eros and thanatos): there are two ways of delight / lust: lust in rest and lust in tension. In the first (lust in rest), you prefer the situation where there is no tension, where things are going calmly, you like being satisfied (= rest - meant not only sexually, also much broader). In the second (lust in tension), you really like tension, you feel good when you are not satisfied, because there is the promise of something that is not there yet (again, on more areas than only the sexual area). You like being exited, you get a kick of tension,...

According to the philosopher, Freud said that if you are rather a person of the lust-in-rest-principle, this could lead (on the sexual area) to asexuality (however, he didn't use the word).

Personnally, I don't think that this is such a strange theory. However, I don't want to imply that this is the only thing that could "explain" asexuality.

Does anyone else here, despite being asexual, have a desire to one day have children that are biologically their own? --Nothing

I defintely want to have children, don't really care whether they're biologically mine or not (being male its a tad harder...)

-DJ

Does anyone else here, despite being asexual, have a desire to one day have children that are biologically their own? --Nothing

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: havenforthehumanamoeba-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

I personally dislike children. I've never liked the little yard apes. LOL I'm more attuned to the animal kingdom, so I will always have a dog or two (or three...presently, five).

Does anyone else here, despite being asexual, have a desire to one day have children that are biologically their own? --Nothing

I thought I did at one time but I don't think I want any anymore. They're a pain in the ass!!

Does anyone else here, despite being asexual, have a desire to one day have children that are biologically their own? --Nothing

Personally I don't like any part of the whole raising-a-family idea. Just not my thing.

Does anyone else here, despite being asexual, have a desire to one day have children that are biologically their own? --Nothing