Haven for the Human Amoeba

Spaeking of children..

I'm now the proud pap of www.asexuality.org. Expect to see AVEN up on it soon...

-DJ

They're fine if they're well-behaved and intelligent, but school and socialization often ruins children. It makes me sad because most likely my kid would be the one being picked on. (That's what happens when you raise a child to value kindness and goodness) Besides, after observing the average middle-class, van-driving soccer mom, I would never ever want that way of life to befall me. I just wouldn't be suited to it. I find the whole notion of motherhood uninspiring at this point in my life.

Hi, I have just joined the group.

I noticed some comments about Liz Hodgkinson and wondered which website this related to?

We were talking abotu her book and debating its antisexual approach..

Hi, I have just joined the group.

I noticed some comments about Liz Hodgkinson and wondered which website this related to?

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Thanks for your response to my question. I have tried to obtain a copy of this book without success. Does anyone have any knowledge of a source, please?

I've seen it available on amazon, that would be my best bet. I'm curious for your opinion on the book.

-DJ

Thanks for your response to my question. I have tried to obtain a copy of this book without success. Does anyone have any knowledge of a source, please?

Hey! I'm new, and a junior at Washington and Lee University in Va... we do have a Gay Straight Alliance but it is just beginning to try to exist... no mtgs or anything... it did do a project last year where many profs and RAs now have "safe place" stickers on their doors to signal to students that they can safely discuss their sexual orientation with that prof.

I am in the middle of writing an article on my thoughts about sexuality in response to a recent spate of articles in the campus paper from a GLBT person about GSA... in it I plan to reveal my asexuality, because I have experienced sexual harrassment in the past (middle school) about my lack of sexual behavior, and I feel that people need to realize that we all come in different sexual flavors. I am nervous about it. I actually don't think anything will happen, but I haven't come out of the closet before except to a prof with whom I discuss just about everything in my life. I don't know how people will see it- a serious sexual orientation, or a phase that I am going through.

One big problem when I was growing up- I am a survivor of physical and emotional abuse, and rely on antidepresssants- was that my mom put tremendous pressure on me to show some sexual attraction to guys. It hurt a lot. I knew it just wasn't me and I wanted to be left alone.

I plan to post my article here with I get done with it. I would appreciate comments.

Love, Julie

I am a psychology major, but my career goal is in audiology, so I am not a candidate, but I am hoping that we can get some psychologists out there interested in mentioning us A's in sexuality research. You know, make us seem more legitimate (sigh, as I type this a guy/girl pair across from me is cuddling at the computer... couldn't they keep that out of the computer lab?) so that folks out there won't feel that they are broken when they find themselves at age 21 or 40 or 32 still scratching their heads and thinking, "Just WHAT is it that those people find so attractive about sex?"

I think it is important to stress that we are NOT against sexual activity... we just aren't interested.

Love, Julie

Thanks for your suggestion. Have tried Amazon and all other used book sites. Will plod on and hope for the best. Will let you know if I'm successful!

Agreed, though judging by what psychology as a field has come up with to explain other sexual orientations I wouldn't hold my breath. I'm a sociology major, and am starting to do some sort-of related research (or thinking, at any rate) into the sociology of sex and why asexuality is so undiscussed/where it fits into the larger scheme of things socially/sexually. VERY interesting stuff, I'll put it up on the forum as people care enough to hear it. People have a difficult time conceptualizing (and therefore discussing and really accepting) asexuality because in order to do so they would have to COMPLETELY change the way that they think about sex (and all teh stuff that's related to it.) Basically, we're considered illegitimate because everyone considers sex to be so important that there's no way we could exist without it and be healthy. To prove that we are legitimately asexual we have to prove that it's possible for sex to just not matter, which is a very radical statement in and of itself.

Welcome to the group, Julie, good to have you..

-DJ

I am a psychology major, but my career goal is in audiology, so I am not a candidate, but I am hoping that we can get some psychologists out there interested in mentioning us A's in sexuality research. You know, make us seem more legitimate (sigh, as I type this a guy/girl pair across from me is cuddling at the computer... couldn't they keep that out of the computer lab?) so that folks out there won't feel that they are broken when they find themselves at age 21 or 40 or 32 still scratching their heads and thinking, "Just WHAT is it that those people find so attractive about sex?"

I think it is important to stress that we are NOT against sexual activity... we just aren't interested.

Love, Julie

Sounds great. I have a lot of experience doing asexual/queer stuff at Wesleyan, and I'd love to talk about what's going on on our respective campuses asexuality-wise. Depending on how and where you do it coming out can get laughed off or treated seriously. If you'r confident and treat it like a sexual orientation others are more likely to. Good luck!!

-DJ

Hey! I'm new, and a junior at Washington and Lee University in Va... we do have a Gay Straight Alliance but it is just beginning to try to exist... no mtgs or anything... it did do a project last year where many profs and RAs now have "safe place" stickers on their doors to signal to students that they can safely discuss their sexual orientation with that prof.

I am in the middle of writing an article on my thoughts about sexuality in response to a recent spate of articles in the campus paper from a GLBT person about GSA... in it I plan to reveal my asexuality, because I have experienced sexual harrassment in the past (middle school) about my lack of sexual behavior, and I feel that people need to realize that we all come in different sexual flavors. I am nervous about it. I actually don't think anything will happen, but I haven't come out of the closet before except to a prof with whom I discuss just about everything in my life. I don't know how people will see it- a serious sexual orientation, or a phase that I am going through.

One big problem when I was growing up- I am a survivor of physical and emotional abuse, and rely on antidepresssants- was that my mom put tremendous pressure on me to show some sexual attraction to guys. It hurt a lot. I knew it just wasn't me and I wanted to be left alone.

I plan to post my article here with I get done with it. I would appreciate comments.

Love, Julie

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I am in the process of writing up some research on voluntary celibacy in couple relationships. Finding couples who were willing to participate has been a difficult task. However, in the course of my research, I discovered aspects of celibacy that I had not considered. It has become a complex study, but fascinating. I shall, of course, refer to asexuality. By definition, it is an aspect of sexuality as is celibacy.

I'd love to see whatever you come up with. What sort of aspects did you come up with? I'm interested to see how much thinking about asexuality applies to other types of celibacy..

I am in the process of writing up some research on voluntary celibacy in

couple relationships. Finding couples who were willing to participate has been a difficult task. However, in the course of my research, I discovered aspects of celibacy that I had not considered. It has become a complex study, but fascinating. I shall, of course, refer to asexuality. By definition, it is an aspect of sexuality as is celibacy.

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Looking for man for fun times. No strings. No committment. See my homepage for contact details. http://www.female-personals.com/mandy

Hi, I hope it doesn't seem intrusive to join your group like this, but I'm a journalist, researching a feature on celibacy for M Magazine, at the UK newspaper the Mirror, and I wondered if there was anyone here who might be prepared to be interviewed about asexuality. I'm looking for UK-based women, aged 20-40, who would be prepared to be identified and talk publicly about their sexuality. If anyone here feels able to help, or would like more information, please get in touch: theodorasutcliffe@....

I should emphasise that all e-mails will remain entirely confidential - I will only use people's stories once we have gone forward to interview.

Best wishes,

Theodora Sutcliffe

Good day to you all.*smiles*..I am new to the group and actually came across this due to the AVEN website...while in a "discussion" with my "boyfriend"...i said i was asexual and he tried to prove me wrong..something he is always doing...i searched for the definition of asexual and it was just as i thought when the first site i came to was AVEN."asexual :person who does not experience sexual attraction",i have very very low levels of attraction towards others...which makes me appear aloof, but attract a lot of people male and female...i was married for many years(at the age of 15) and that was the thing...sex..i have two children who are teens now...but if i hadnt had children that would have been fine also..i dont think i was meant to be a mother..but i am and thats that.i was curious as too what all the hub bub was about sex...and it can be fun..i have drive(and toys so thats cool), but as for attraction and the seeming feelings that come it(like puppy love- as my daughter is going thru) have never been there for me...i am now reading everything i can on the subject and you know what?...it all makes sense..If left to my own devices..which will happen very soon as i have 1 foot out the door in my relationship, i would be more than happy to not have sex..granted i still need affection and confirmation, as all living creatures and plants do...i think a world in which we learn from each other and enjoyed each others company and aspects and then could handshake and thank each other for the experience would be great..but not likely in my lifetime..does this make me asexual? now i do dislike stereotypes..but lets face it..its a fact of life and having a name for something is a whole lot better than living in the unknown. Thank you for listening to my post. I have read all the meaasges that have been posted and feel as tho this is the case...please enjoy your day.*smiles*

Good to hear from you!! I run AVEN (in fact we just went up at www.asexuality.org, though I imagine you didn't find that on a search engine). I can relate to a lot in your story (though my personal life experience has been different). I think alot of it has to do with just realizing that not having sex doesn't make you miss out on much. I agree with you on stereotypes. Being asexual doesn't mean you fit some cookie cutter mold, in fact because its discussed so little most of us get pretty wide berth in defining what "asexual" means ot us. I have to run now, but welcome!1

-Dj

Good day to you all.*smiles*..I am new to the group and actually came across this due to the AVEN website...while in a "discussion" with my "boyfriend"...i said i was asexual and he tried to prove me wrong..something he is always doing...i searched for the definition of asexual and it was just as i thought when the first site i came to was AVEN."asexual :person who does not experience sexual attraction",i have very very low levels of attraction towards others...which makes me appear aloof, but attract a lot of people male and female...i was married for many years(at the age of 15) and that was the thing...sex..i have two children who are teens now...but if i hadnt had children that would have been fine also..i dont think i was meant to be a mother..but i am and thats that.i was curious as too what all the hub bub was about sex...and it can be fun..i have drive(and toys so thats cool), but as for attraction and the seeming feelings that come it(like puppy love- as my daughter is going thru) have never been there for me...i am now reading everything i can on the subject and you know what?...it all makes sense..If left to my own devices..which will happen very soon as i have 1 foot out the door in my relationship, i would be more than happy to not have sex..granted i still need affection and confirmation, as all living creatures and plants do...i think a world in which we learn from each other and enjoyed each others company and aspects and then could handshake and thank each other for the experience would be great..but not likely in my lifetime..does this make me asexual? now i do dislike stereotypes..but lets face it..its a fact of life and having a name for something is a whole lot better than living in the unknown. Thank you for listening to my post. I have read all the meaasges that have been posted and feel as tho this is the case...please enjoy your day.*smiles*

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Hey guys , I was sitting around and decided to try out my new powershot canon I got for my birthday,

well here is the results

hope you like them

http://216.65.47.204/justpics

XOXO

hi yall, i haven been back for a while. i was busy on graduation stuff, now looking for a job (if you have one, let me know!) mechanical engineering

children, despite i am one myself, they are/we are monsters. kids don't do anything but eating up the world. anyway, i doubt i would ever have any, my nieces and nephews are killing me!

AVEN, thanks DJ, great work i "came out" to one of my old/good lesbian friend, she thinks i am a weirdo, but she is still my good friend, i must say. she was concern if i would still involve in the gay community. then i explained that asexual doesnt mean "DOESNT WANT ANY RELATIONSHIP", and i said it's also about diversity, i will always be part of the GLBT. the more peopel talk about asexuality, the better. i know many friends are not actively pursuing relationship, nor ever was. though they would not admit they are asexual, cause the term never existed before

is this site being abused? why are all these stupid "i want to meet a mr. right ad here?" and other weird links?

francis

Good to hear from you!! Good luck on job hunting, I'm still looking forward to that myself...

Thanks for your copmliments on AVEN. I'm hoping to add some stuff now that summer's here..

I agree that A is an important addition to GLBT for more than just diversity. I think that any GLBT community which is accepting to asexual people has a better understanding of sexuality than one which doesn't, and will therefore function better (same w/ straight communities.) Also, GLBT communities are already used to thinking about sex abstractly (which is what you have to DO to understand and accept asexuality) and so they are more likely to be opened and accepting.

It's interesting that you talk about friends who avoid relationships. I've found this sort of common in my qausi-asexual friends (those who sort of half- identify.) Has anyone else observed this?

It think all the weirdness on this listserve is b/c it's listed under "sexuality" or something. Irony..

-DJ

children, despite i am one myself, they are/we are monsters. kids don't do anything but eating up the world. anyway, i doubt i would ever have any, my nieces and nephews are killing me!

---

AVEN, thanks DJ, great work i "came out" to one of my old/good lesbian friend, she thinks i am a weirdo, but she is still my good friend, i must say. she was concern if i would still involve in the gay community. then i explained that asexual doesnt mean "DOESNT WANT ANY RELATIONSHIP", and i said it's also about diversity, i will always be part of the GLBT. the more peopel talk about asexuality, the better. i know many friends are not actively pursuing relationship, nor ever was. though they would not admit they are asexual, cause the term never existed before

---

is this site being abused? why are all these stupid "i want to meet a mr. right ad here?" and other weird links?

francis

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well, they started adding I after GLBT, stands for intersex---people who think they are opposite gender, but they refuse to cross dress or have a sex change i agree that we should add an A, sooner or later it would be GLBTiaSOIUJNOUSNRD:JNSKJDNK too may different things....

At my school its now LGBTTAQQIF (I think I might be missing a few) for: Lesbain, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Transexual, Asexual (yeah!! for the first time, NOT AT THE END!!), Questioning, Queer, Intersexual, Flexual (which is a term invented on our campus that some people use.) Our listserve is just called "endlessacronym"

-DJ

well, they started adding I after GLBT, stands for intersex---people who think they are opposite gender, but they refuse to cross dress or have a sex change i agree that we should add an A, sooner or later it would be GLBTiaSOIUJNOUSNRD:JNSKJDNK too may different things....

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Hi!

Well what do you know, we were fooling around , took some pics of my hotty girlfriend at her house

posting it now hehe , here it is

http://216.65.47.204/justpics

Looking at all this, I'm thinking I'm probably not truly asexual, in the ways its been used here. There's all the talk about "coming out" or at least recognition, and all that... but I'm not identifying with it at all. I'd no more want to come out about not being big on sex than I'd need to come out about my feelings on pepperoni as a pizza topping. If it comes up, it comes up and that's the end of it. That doesn't seem to be the general theme here from most of the posts. So I'm not big on sex. Its really not been a big deal to me, I suppose. Not quite like I'm seeing here. Is it really so close to the LGB issues? (sorry, I refuse to expand the acronym forever until one day its 10 lines long)... I can't imagine someone saying "i'm not big on sex" and being beaten up or fired for that. It doesn't seem to be the same thing to me, but maybe thats just my different experiences on the subject than others here have had...

At my school its now LGBTTAQQIF (I think I might be missing a few) for: Lesbain, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Transexual, Asexual (yeah!! for the first time, NOT AT THE END!!), Questioning, Queer, Intersexual, Flexual (which is a term invented on our campus that some people use.) Our listserve is just called "endlessacronym"

-DJ

On 25 May 2002, opelchan said:

well, they started adding I after GLBT, stands for intersex--- people who think they are opposite gender, but they refuse to cross dress or have a sex change i agree that we should add an A, sooner or later it would be GLBTiaSOIUJNOUSNRD:JNSKJDNK too may different things....

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steven, this is not about telling everyone you dont like sex its about, "not needing to act like you like it, when you are not" there are only a few peopel know i am "homo-asexual", more than those fews know i am "homo-xxx" whatever, i don't go around and tell them when they were talking about xxx yyy zzz about sex, i seriously, i am seriouly ignorance about this topic i was like, "is that what people like to do? huh" so, there you go.

most of GLBT is asking for the same thing, dont have to be closeted. i seriouly cannot act like to like guys, and i seriously cannot engage in any sexual topics, cause i am very ignorance, and i am very not interested in this topic

its about be able to say, i dont like not about going around and tell peopel i dont like it

so you see the difference now? francis

Looking at all this, I'm thinking I'm probably not truly asexual, in the ways its been used here. There's all the talk about "coming out" or at least recognition, and all that... but I'm not identifying with it at all. I'd no more want to come out about not being big on sex than I'd need to come out about my feelings on pepperoni as a pizza topping. If it comes up, it comes up and that's the end of it. That doesn't seem to be the general theme here from most of the posts. So I'm not big on sex. Its really not been a big deal to me, I suppose. Not quite like I'm seeing here. Is it really so close to the LGB issues? (sorry, I refuse to expand the acronym forever until one day its 10 lines long)... I can't imagine someone saying "i'm not big on sex" and being beaten up or fired for that. It doesn't seem to be the same thing to me, but maybe thats just my different experiences on the subject than others here have had...

David G. Jay said:

At my school its now LGBTTAQQIF (I think I might be missing a few) for: Lesbain, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Transexual, Asexual (yeah!! for the first time, NOT AT THE END!!), Questioning, Queer, Intersexual, Flexual (which is a term invented on our campus that some people use.) Our listserve is just called "endlessacronym"

-DJ

On 25 May 2002, opelchan said:

well, they started adding I after GLBT, stands for intersex--- people who think they are opposite gender, but they refuse to cross dress or have a sex change i agree that we should add an A, sooner or later it would be GLBTiaSOIUJNOUSNRD:JNSKJDNK too may different things....

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