Haven for the Human Amoeba

I feel that I am being judged by others too. And yet I was married and had children. But now, I am alone much of the time - even going to a park leaves me feeling that others are suspicious of me, which is ridiculous. But there is an expectation that we should be social even if not in a relationship.

I concur, Sue. When I meet people every so often I hear after I share I am not married, never had been, don't have a boyfriend, nor have any children - 'are ya Gay?!" And I reply, no.

I feel some people are fearful or cautious of people like me. But they sure love me when the Holidays come around so I can 'work' for them.

I get real tired of psychology of spewing that most everything us humans do has to do with sex and if you are not having sex than there is something wrong with you....



I don't see it as a choice, except that there are surely many people who engage in sexual acitivity who don't really want to. They may just think they should.

Society lays a guilt trip on us, to conform. I am still getting pressured and I am not young anymore.

Sue

No medical celibacy here. Just a choice.

That is interesting. I have grown into asexuality. I had more of a drive when I was younger. I just have absolutely no interest now. I was wondering if there are people in the group who are dealing with some sort of medical celibacy/

For humans, being asexual does not mean having an ability to clone yourself on the spot like an amoeba. For the most part, it also does not mean to have no sexual organs. So what, exactly, is it?

The definition of Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction.

A study published by the New Scientist magazine in October, 2004 estimated that 1% of the human population is asexual, and confirmed the existence of asexuality in both humans and other animals....

Read More: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A4455263

© MMX

Sue,

I am curious, how old are?  Do you spend much time with your kids?  I have been celibate for 20 years...I don't tell anyone...it's none of their business.  They can't judge you if they don't know.  I think if they know you are abstaining they could definitely judge you.  People are obsessed with sex, even some women are.  I have never understood it, as it is so short lived and considering you can do it yourself, why bother with anyone else.

I always found intercourse pain full and wanted to avoid it.  To be honest I hate sex, for a woman it is rather violent.

Rene

 I feel that I am being judged by others too. And yet I was married and had children. But now, I am alone much of the time - even going to a park leaves me feeling that others are suspicious of me, which is ridiculous. But there is an expectation that we should be social even if not in a relationship.

I concur, Sue.  When I meet people every so often I hear after I share I am not married, never had been, don't have a boyfriend, nor have any children - 'are ya Gay?!" And I reply, no.

I feel some people are fearful or cautious of people like me.  But they sure love me when the Holidays come around so I can 'work' for them.

I get real tired of psychology of spewing that most everything us humans do has to do with sex and if you are not having sex than there is something wrong with you....

 I don't see it as a choice, except that there are surely many people who engage in sexual acitivity who don't really want to. They may just think they should.

Society lays a guilt trip on us, to conform. I am still getting pressured and I am not young anymore.

Sue

No medical celibacy here.  Just a choice.

That is interesting.  I have grown into asexuality.  I had more of a drive when I was younger.  I just have absolutely no interest now.  I was wondering if there are people in the group who are dealing with some sort of medical celibacy/

For humans, being asexual does not mean having an ability to clone yourself on the spot like an amoeba. For the most part, it also does not mean to have no sexual organs. So what, exactly, is it?

The definition of Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction.

A study published by the New Scientist magazine in October, 2004 estimated that 1% of the human population is asexual, and confirmed the existence of asexuality in both humans and other animals....

Read More:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A4455263

© MMX

I never really had a strong sex drive. As I grew older it just faded away, so I guess you could say I grew into my asexuality also. The only problem I really have is the region of the country where I live. People from Alabama aren't all bigots and religious fanatics like the television would have you believe, but anything other than hetrosexuality is highly frowned upon. I can't tell you how many times people I went to school with have asked if I was queer because they never saw me out on dates. It also doesn't help that I don't care for sports or hunting.

Being asexual has given me a great sympathy for GLB people because until recently I thought it was something I had to hide. Now I tell people and usually have to spend the next five minutes trying to explain what asexuality is. Some responses have been: "You're crazy," or "I always knew you were weird."

I don't agree with that. People can judge, without knowing. People make assumptions. That's heterosexuality. It's all about pushing women and men into becoming what society expects. And as far as homosexuality is concerned, I have wondered, but unless the right person comes along - man or woman, how would I know?

We're trying to put labels on what we are, but if the opportunity isn't there, we might never know. And as women, there is less and less the older we get.

I'm not sure "hating sex" is a fair judgement. When people talk about sex, as you have, what they mean is sexual intercourse. A man and woman can have physical intimacy without having sex, and even if the do have SI, it doesn't have to be rough sex. All young women have to be indoctrinated into the idea of having sex, to begin with. Not all are, but most of us wanted to do what was expected of us so we could feel feminine, I suppose.

Sue,

I am curious, how old are? Do you spend much time with your kids? I have been celibate for 20 years...I don't tell anyone...it's none of their business. They can't judge you if they don't know. I think if they know you are abstaining they could definitely judge you. People are obsessed with sex, even some women are. I have never understood it, as it is so short lived and considering you can do it yourself, why bother with anyone else.

I always found intercourse pain full and wanted to avoid it. To be honest I hate sex, for a woman it is rather violent.

Rene

 I feel that I am being judged by others too. And yet I was married and had children. But now, I am alone much of the time - even going to a park leaves me feeling that others are suspicious of me, which is ridiculous. But there is an expectation that we should be social even if not in a relationship.

I concur, Sue. When I meet people every so often I hear after I share I am not married, never had been, don't have a boyfriend, nor have any children - 'are ya Gay?!" And I reply, no.

I feel some people are fearful or cautious of people like me. But they sure love me when the Holidays come around so I can 'work' for them.

I get real tired of psychology of spewing that most everything us humans do has to do with sex and if you are not having sex than there is something wrong with you....

 I don't see it as a choice, except that there are surely many people who engage in sexual acitivity who don't really want to. They may just think they should.

Society lays a guilt trip on us, to conform. I am still getting pressured and I am not young anymore.

Sue

No medical celibacy here. Just a choice.

That is interesting. I have grown into asexuality. I had more of a drive when I was younger. I just have absolutely no interest now. I was wondering if there are people in the group who are dealing with some sort of medical celibacy/

For humans, being asexual does not mean having an ability to clone yourself on the spot like an amoeba. For the most part, it also does not mean to have no sexual organs. So what, exactly, is it?

The definition of Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction.

A study published by the New Scientist magazine in October, 2004 estimated that 1% of the human population is asexual, and confirmed the existence of asexuality in both humans and other animals....

Read More: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A4455263

© MMX

I'm pretty much on the left side of the pendulum. I've never experienced sexual attraction. It used to make me sad because I felt like I was missing something everyone else had. Now I'm more happy about who I am, even if it does make dating rather difficult.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Amen. I view sexuality like a pendulum. Super right you are hyper sexual and super left you are asexual. I consider myself asexual, but I do not suspress my sexuality either. I have urges every so often, but I can deal with them on my own without feeding the need with some guy.

I am sick of all the @#$%@#$ flak I get about being asexual/aromantic too!

I concur, Sue. When I meet people every so often I hear after I share I am not

married, never had been, don't have a boyfriend, nor have any children - 'are ya

Gay?!" And I reply, no.Â

I feel some people are fearful or cautious of people like me. But they sure love me when the Holidays come around so I can 'work' for them.

I get real tired of psychology of spewing that most everything us humans do has

to do with sex and if you are not having sex than there is something wrong with

you....

Asexual all my life, although I didn't know that's what it was called. I always had an intense desire to be emotionally close to people but the idea of physical contact never really crossed my mind, and although I want a romantic relationship, if I realise the other person will want to have sex I totally lose interest in the idea of romance.

Stephanie

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Yes it has...what shall we talk about? I'm curious to know if others have been asxeual all their lives or did they grow into it. I had a somewhat of a sex drive when I was younger but have none now, that I am 54. I just think sex is lame and boring. It's just bumping uglies and a total waste of time. I'm curious as to how many men are on the group?

From

troi_tribble <freewaydog@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] checking in

To

[email protected]

Date

Thursday, October 7, 2010, 11:18 PM

Wow, this went from no email to tons of email, like 0 to 60 in no time!

--- In [email protected], "pamela >^,,^<" <c24cats@...> wrote:

pamela in SW LA here for roll call! see, theres lots in this group....why dont we all start talking??

Where on Long Island? I grew up in Baldwin and visit at least twice a year.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

I am from Long Island, NY.

Rene here from Denver, CO. I'd like to see the group get going too!

On 6 Oct 2010, Louise White said:

From

Louise White <lwhite1962@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Dead group?

To

[email protected]

Date

Wednesday, October 6, 2010, 11:45 PM

Louise from Concord, CA area here. HI!

 Louise Â

From

beesknees63 <ddmail007@...>

To

[email protected]

Sent

Tue, October 5, 2010 10:09:59 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Dead group?

Â

I would love to see this group come alive. Honestly, I forgot all about this group until a recent email.

Let's take role call! I'll be the first: Dee-Dee from Modesto, CA here! :)

I hear ya.  I, too am quite left.  I cannot imagine sharing my life with someone especially when sex is sadly the main focus in a relationship esp. in the Western world.  There is so much more in life than sex, but I feel isolated in this revelation.

I'm pretty much on the left side of the pendulum. I've never experienced sexual attraction. It used to make me sad because I felt like I was missing something everyone else had. Now I'm more happy about who I am, even if it does make dating rather difficult.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Amen.  I view sexuality like a pendulum.  Super right you are hyper sexual and super left you are asexual.  I consider myself asexual, but I do not suspress my sexuality either.  I have urges every so often, but I can deal with them on my own without feeding the need with some guy.

I am sick of all the @#$%@#$ flak I get about being asexual/aromantic too!

I concur, Sue.  When I meet people every so often I hear after I share I am not

married, never had been, don't have a boyfriend, nor have any children - 'are ya

Gay?!" And I reply, no.Â

I feel some people are fearful or cautious of people like me.  But they sure love me when the Holidays come around so I can 'work' for them.

I get real tired of psychology of spewing that most everything us humans do has

to do with sex and if you are not having sex than there is something wrong with

you....

It is the same here in Indianapolis. Everyone thinks I am weird because i don't want to have sex. I have never had a strong sex drive either and I am upset because I do want to be in a relationship, but why do we have to have sex? I don't mind cuddling together but the next part is just vile to me.

Pamela

Regardless of what that article said, Lady Gaga is not asexual, and she's giving asexuals a bad name (I want to take a ride on your disco stick?- Does that sound asexual??!?!?!)

the other day on the Early Show a magazine editor who had interviewed Lady GaGa said that Lady GaGa was asexual since she was not interested in selling her sexuality - just her outrageousness.

On 4 Aug 2010, Captain Rand said:

From

Captain Rand <cmdrrand@...>

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Still here...

To

[email protected]

Date

Wednesday, August 4, 2010, 12:36 PM

Â

I'm still here, I'm just a very boring person. However, I do have a question. Are there any asexual characters being portrayed in the entertainment media, TV, books, anything? I want to see someone stand up like Ellen and say I'm asexual.

Hi Paticia,

Rene in Denver.  I'm getting the feeling that most of the people in this group are women?

Patricia from Missouri

Hello Members,

In the past and still today, spammers join Yahoo groups (such as this one) and frequently post sexually inappropriate messages.  In an effort to have the real members of the group avoid such explicit spam, all new members who join have their messages moderated, until the content can be determined acceptable and appropriate for the group.

So very sorry if this causes inconvenience on the part of the serious new members, but it is the only way to make sure the group is not inadvertently spammed with x-rated postings.

Staci

Hello Members,

If you feel you would like to post messages directly to the group from your personal email account send the emails to this address:  [email protected]

You must be a member of the group and not be under moderated status in order for your message to show up right away.  I un-moderate members who post messages containing asexual content usually after their first message.

Moderator Staci

You can set new members to moderate while proven posters can post freely after you know there not spammers/idiots or you could set up 2-3 moderators to approve messages, its hard to have a discussion when it more then likely will take a month or more to get a response to your posts. Just a suggestion:)

Heather

Hello Members,

In the past and still today, spammers join Yahoo groups (such as this one) and frequently post sexually inappropriate messages. In an effort to have the real members of the group avoid such explicit spam, all new members who join have their messages moderated, until the content can be determined acceptable and appropriate for the group.

So very sorry if this causes inconvenience on the part of the serious new members, but it is the only way to make sure the group is not inadvertently spammed with x-rated postings.

Staci

Heather,

Only new members are moderated.  Once a new member posts an on topic message their moderated status gets changed to un-moderated.  ONLY new members who have not posted are moderated.

Staci

You can set new members to moderate while proven posters can post freely after you know there not spammers/idiots or you could set up 2-3 moderators to approve messages, its hard to have a discussion when it more then likely will take a month or more to get a response to your posts. Just a suggestion:)

Heather

Hello Members,

In the past and still today, spammers join Yahoo groups (such as this one) and frequently post sexually inappropriate messages.  In an effort to have the real members of the group avoid such explicit spam, all new members who join have their messages moderated, until the content can be determined acceptable and appropriate for the group.

So very sorry if this causes inconvenience on the part of the serious new members, but it is the only way to make sure the group is not inadvertently spammed with x-rated postings.

Staci

A virgin's perspective on asexual marriages

Posted by goldfish_lover(My Page) on Thu, Sep 27, 07 at 10:12

I have read several posts on sexless marriages in this and other forums and I can explain many good reasons/points why.

Let me state that I am a 25 year old man who is a virgin and will always be a virgin because I have no sexual orientation, I am what they call asexual/nonsexual/zerosexual. I am never marrying because it would not be fair for me nor her and I have no physical attraction to anyone/anything. I never want children nor intimacy and for this, marriage is pointless.

There are plenty of asexuals, anywhere from 3-20% depending on the source. Probably 1-3% are completely asexual, have zero libido/drive/horny and find the mare thought of intercourse to be vile, dirty, disgusting, sick, sinful, etc. I am in the 1-3% and I in fact find anything more than a peck on the lips to be disgusting. I hate porn and have never masturbated or done anything with either men or women beyond cuddling and a quick peck kiss.

Read more here:  http://www.thathomesite.com/forums/load/marriage/msg0910125910911.html?25

© 2006 iVillage Inc. All Rights Reserved

I think that is a very good idea.  I I have gotten sexually explicit emails from people and I wondered how they got my email addres.

Hello Members,

In the past and still today, spammers join Yahoo groups (such as this one) and frequently post sexually inappropriate messages.  In an effort to have the real members of the group avoid such explicit spam, all new members who join have their messages moderated, until the content can be determined acceptable and appropriate for the group.

So very sorry if this causes inconvenience on the part of the serious new members, but it is the only way to make sure the group is not inadvertently spammed with x-rated postings.

Staci

That's great.  I wish you were my age, 54 as I would love to have an esexual relationship.

A virgin's perspective on asexual marriages

Posted by goldfish_lover (My Page) on Thu, Sep 27, 07 at 10:12

I have read several posts on sexless marriages in this and other forums and I can explain many good reasons/points why.

Let me state that I am a 25 year old man who is a virgin and will always be a virgin because I have no sexual orientation, I am what they call asexual/nonsexual/zerosexual. I am never marrying because it would not be fair for me nor her and I have no physical attraction to anyone/anything. I never want children nor intimacy and for this, marriage is pointless.

There are plenty of asexuals, anywhere from 3-20% depending on the source. Probably 1-3% are completely asexual, have zero libido/drive/horny and find the mare thought of intercourse to be vile, dirty, disgusting, sick, sinful, etc. I am in the 1-3% and I in fact find anything more than a peck on the lips to be disgusting. I hate porn and have never masturbated or done anything with either men or women beyond cuddling and a quick peck kiss.

Read more here:  http://www.thathomesite.com/forums/load/marriage/msg0910125910911.html?25

© 2006 iVillage Inc. All Rights Reserved

I was asexual all my life & I think sex is overrated and it grosses me out.

Yes it has...what shall we talk about?  I'm curious to know if others have been asxeual all their lives or did they grow into it.  I had a somewhat of a sex drive when I was younger but have none now, that I am 54.  I just think sex is lame and boring.  It's just bumping uglies and a total waste of time.  I'm curious as to how many men are on the group?

On 7 Oct 2010, troi_tribble said:

From

troi_tribble <freewaydog@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] checking in

To

[email protected]

Date

Thursday, October 7, 2010, 11:18 PM

Wow, this went from no email to tons of email, like 0 to 60 in no time!

--- In [email protected], "pamela >^,,^<" <c24cats@> wrote:

pamela in SW LA here for roll call! see, theres lots in this group....why dont we all start talking??

Yes it is very over-rated.  I have always found it to be painfull and kind of violent.  I just wish I could find a man who would love me without it.

I was asexual all my life & I think sex is overrated and it grosses me out.

Yes it has...what shall we talk about?  I'm curious to know if others have been asxeual all their lives or did they grow into it.  I had a somewhat of a sex drive when I was younger but have none now, that I am 54.  I just think sex is lame and boring.  It's just bumping uglies and a total waste of time.  I'm curious as to how many men are on the group?

On 7 Oct 2010, troi_tribble said:

From

troi_tribble <freewaydog@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] checking in

To

[email protected]

Date

Thursday, October 7, 2010, 11:18 PM

Wow, this went from no email to tons of email, like 0 to 60 in no time!

--- In [email protected], "pamela >^,,^<" <c24cats@> wrote:

pamela in SW LA here for roll call! see, theres lots in this group....why dont we all start talking??

Hello Rene and I am inclined to agree with you. Maybe it is because the men that are asexual don't know about this group.

Hi Paticia,

Rene in Denver. I'm getting the feeling that most of the people in this group are women?

--- On *Fri, 10/8/10, Patricia Taylor <musiclover2.patricia@...>*wrote:

From

Patricia Taylor <musiclover2.patricia@...>

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Checking in and saying hello

To

[email protected]

Date

Friday, October 8, 2010, 3:57 AM

Patricia from Missouri

I would like to start a new thread for discussion.  Do you know how to post a message?

Hello Rene and I am inclined to agree with you. Maybe it is because the men that are asexual don't know about this group.

Hi Paticia,

Rene in Denver.  I'm getting the feeling that most of the people in this group are women?

Patricia from Missouri

Hello everyone,

I would like to get some feedback from people in the group on sex & love in romantic relationships.

It seems to me that sex is a major component of most romantic relationships. People claim that they "love" each other but if one partner cannot perform sexually for whatever reason, health or whatever the "love" tends to disappear. Why aren't most humans capble of loving another human being in a romantic way without the act of bumping uglies? Sex has nothing to do with love.

It seems to me that most humans are incredibly superfical in this regard. I think the world would be so much better off if sex were not such a big part of human existance. Outside of using it to continue the human race it has absolutely no purpose.

Yes, I have never had sex & don't want to, I heard it was painful for the female, and as I said, rather gross. I want my own space. I do not understand what is the big deal about sex anyway, why some ppl are so desperate for it! I don't understand these damned "crushes" ppl have on "hot guys"! To me, you've seen 1 guy, you've seen them all! "Oh wow! Brad Pitt! Justin Bieber! Whatever sports player! Whomever!" & I don't see what guys see in girls, either! Sure, I could think someone looks nice, or pretty, but then, I could think that flower is pretty, or that painting is beautiful! Doesn't mean I wanna' have sex w/ them! Sorry, rant over, just sick of being judged by a bunch of ppl who act like snotty-@$$ed teens!

Sue,   I am curious, how old are?  Do you spend much time with your kids?  I have been celibate for 20 years...I don't tell anyone...it's none of their business.  They can't judge you if they don't know.  I think if they know you are abstaining they could definitely judge you.  People are obsessed with sex, even some women are.  I have never understood it, as it is so short lived and considering you can do it yourself, why bother with anyone else.   I always found intercourse pain full and wanted to avoid it.  To be honest I hate sex, for a woman it is rather violent.   Rene