Haven for the Human Amoeba

I 100% totally agree with this comment, it is SO TRUE. Cheers Al (from Sydney)

Yes, I agree also. Not only that, we are a society where you cannot talk to your friends about problems. Friends are there only for the good times. If there was more of a sense of community and people could talk to friends the need for so called "therapy" would be dramatically reduced.

What is a therapist anyway??? An expensive friend!!!!!!

I concur. They all think all psychological issues and personality disorders have to do with some kind of sexual deviancy either done to you or from you. I know a PhD who likes to photograph porn. Always looking for a model to pose for him. I knew of a Psychology teacher in college who liked to sleep with his students. Trust me if the statistic is correct about how screwed up the majority of so-called therapists (if I recall over 80% of them are screwed and trying to find answers to their own short-comings) its best to shop around for one who takes healing seriously and not leave ya broke and/or more screwed up than before you entered into their office.

I think a lot of MH so-called "professionals" are really pervs! I had a social worker who insisted right in front of my brother that it's not asexuality, but that I am "afraid of sex because my father touched me inappropriately" when we kept trying to tell her NO SUCH thing happened! She did not seem to want to believe that! Or maybe she was trying to tease me & make me upset the same way that my peers who called me a "lesbian" did!

Sadly, you won't find much support in the MH field. So many therapist buy that most everything us humans do have to do with sex. Whatever! Adopt the philosophy 'Explain nothing'

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 19, 2010 12:21:16 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

 That's why I object strongly to the search for causes as well. I had to confront my therapist at my last session because she asked me yet again to wait until I find the right man before deciding I'm asexual. I get really tired of having to explain and defend who I am all the time. Â

Al,

Thanks!  I wish you were in the US.  I would love to talk on the phone and get to know a male asexual.

Rene

I 100% totally agree with this comment, it is SO TRUE. Cheers Al (from Sydney)

Yes, I agree also.  Not only that, we are a society where you cannot talk to your friends about problems.  Friends are there only for the good times.  If there was more of a sense of community and people could talk to friends the need for so called "therapy" would be dramatically reduced.

What is a therapist anyway???  An expensive friend!!!!!!

I concur.  They all think all psychological issues and personality disorders have to do with some kind of sexual deviancy either done to you or from you.  I know a PhD who likes to photograph porn.  Always looking for a model to pose for him.  I knew of a Psychology teacher in college who liked to sleep with his students.  Trust me if the statistic is correct about how screwed up the majority of so-called therapists (if I recall over 80% of them are screwed and trying to find answers to their own short-comings)  its best to shop around for one who takes healing seriously and not leave ya broke and/or more screwed up than before you entered into their office.

I think a lot of MH so-called "professionals" are really pervs! I had a social worker who insisted right in front of my brother that it's not asexuality, but that I am "afraid of sex because my father touched me inappropriately" when we kept trying to tell her NO SUCH thing happened! She did not seem to want to believe that! Or maybe she was trying to tease me & make me upset the same way that my peers who called me a "lesbian" did!

Sadly, you won't find much support in the MH field.  So many therapist buy that most everything us humans do have to do with sex.  Whatever!  Adopt the philosophy 'Explain nothing'

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 19, 2010 12:21:16 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

  That's why I object strongly to the search for causes as well. I had to confront my therapist at my last session because she asked me yet again to wait until I find the right man before deciding I'm asexual. I get really tired of having to explain and defend who I am all the time. Â

That's why I object strongly to the search for causes as well. I had to confront my therapist at my last session because she asked me yet again to wait until I find the right man before deciding I'm asexual. I get really tired of having to explain and defend who I am all the time.

I see a difference between "wanting to understand" vs. "defending" or even "wanting to fix." It's interesting to understand oneself and other people. I can be curious about how and why people are different from each other, without attaching any value judgments to those differences.

As for your therapist, ask her to review a good textbook about human sexuality. People generally know what their sexual interests are before they find the "right" partner. If they didn't have sexual feelings prior to finding a partner, they wouldn't be interested in looking for (sexual) partners in the first place.

J8

Asking what she would recommend is a good idea, but I think your perspective on what comes first, the feelings or the partner, is a man's. Women don't usually have the same sex drive men do. It is expected of women that they demonstrate their sexual attractiveness and show they are women, I suppose.

So what I am saying is, women will seek a partner without having any sexual feelings.

If a woman reads a book recommended by her friend or therapist and cannot relate to it, it probably means they are on different wavelengths, unless the book was recommended because the therapist thought that was where her client was at in her life.

As for your therapist, ask her to review a good textbook about human sexuality. People generally know what their sexual interests are before they find the "right" partner. If they didn't have sexual feelings prior to finding a partner, they wouldn't be interested in looking for (sexual) partners in the first place.

J8

If there was more of a sense of community and people could talk to friends the need for so called "therapy" would be dramatically reduced.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. I've seen amazing things happen through peer support within the Autistic community.

But I do not agree with this:

What is a therapist anyway??? An expensive friend!!!!!!

If a therapist is acting like a friend, then the therapist is violating professional boundaries. Friendship is a mutual relationship between parties who have equal power in the relationship and equal expectation of getting their own emotional needs met. In the relationship between a therapist and a client, there's unequal power because the client is more emotionally vulnerable, and unequal responsibility for emotional support because it is *never* the client's responsibility to meet the therapist's emotional needs. Therapists are ethically (and in some cases legally) obligated to keep their own feelings and personal lives out of their relationships with clients.

J8

Asking what she would recommend is a good idea, but I think your perspective on what comes first, the feelings or the partner, is a man's.

I have a man's perspective? That's FUNNY!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

Women don't usually have the same sex drive men do. It is expected of women that they demonstrate their sexual attractiveness and show they are women, I suppose.

I was raised as a girl to the age of 12. I remember plenty of interest among girls in my sixth and seventh grade classes about boys, kissing, and even making out. A couple of times girls tried to engage me in conversation about it, and I had no idea what they were talking about. It was very evident that there was something going on with them that was not going on with me.

As a teacher and counselor I've seen plenty of young girls developing and expressing sexual and romantic attractions, often a year or two earlier than their male peers were ready to reciprocate, and more like a decade or two earlier than their parents expected or wanted them to! Nowadays we can attribute that to media influences (which I think really are sexualizing children in unhealthy ways), but I'm thinking back as far as the mid-70s when I was a classroom assistant in an elementary classroom, and my younger brother was being pursued by female middle school classmates.

I was at an adolescent (male) client's home one time, talking to the child and his family about how things were going, and the mother reported that the boy was getting interested in girls and she was concerned about this. We proceeded to draft an age-appropriate "girlfriend contract" for the boy and his family. One of the things in the contract was that his little sister was not to tease him about girls. The little sister did not want to agree to this--until it occurred to her to ask, "If I don't tease him about girls, does that mean he can't tease me about boys?" I was able to negotiate an agreement between the brother and sister to not tease each other about their respective attractions. This little girl was only six or seven years old! Way too young for adult sexual relationships. Way too young to know if the "right" boy came along for a future adult sexual partnering.

At six or seven years old it's more proto-romantic than explicitly sexual. But still, sexual children--of whatever gender--do have the seeds of their adult sexuality and orientation, and do explore and experiment with it.

So what I am saying is, women will seek a partner without having any sexual feelings.

Are you saying then that all women are asexual? Or even most women? I know a huge number of women who would disagree!

If a woman reads a book recommended by her friend or therapist and cannot relate to it, it probably means they are on different wavelengths, unless the book was recommended because the therapist thought that was where her client was at in her life.

Actually I was recommending that the *therapist* read a book, because the therapist's comment displayed profound ignorance about human sexual development.

J8

Asking what she would recommend is a good idea, but I think your perspective on what comes first, the feelings or the partner, is a man's.

I have a man's perspective? That's FUNNY!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

I'm sorry I don't know if you had a penis or a vagina.

Women don't usually have the same sex drive men do. It is expected of women that they demonstrate their sexual attractiveness and show they are women, I suppose.

I was raised as a girl to the age of 12.

What does that mean. Were you a boy?

I remember plenty of interest

among girls in my sixth and seventh grade classes about boys, kissing, and even making out.

Yes, girls are encouraged by women to behave like girls - kissing, making out, and whatever else. It's all practice for the 'real thing'.

You have a male brain whatever your socializing and body parts are!!!!

A couple of times girls tried to engage me in

conversation about it, and I had no idea what they were talking about. It was very evident that there was something going on with them that was not going on with me.

It probably doesn't go on in them either. Girls learn early to deny - deny their bodies, deny their feelings, etc, etc, etc.

As a teacher and counselor I've seen plenty of young girls developing and expressing sexual and romantic attractions, often a year or two earlier than their male peers were ready to reciprocate, and more like a decade or two earlier than their parents expected or wanted them to!

I hope you don't counsel them

My best friend is actually a therpist, not my therapist, and we share good things and bad a like.  We are both pretty much asexual and have each other for confiding in, taking trips with, support, and anything else we might need.  We've promised to each be there for each other and actually that's more commitment than I've even gotten out of marriage or any sexual relationship.  so it is there for us!

Louise

I 100% totally agree with this comment, it is SO TRUE. Cheers Al (from Sydney)

Yes, I agree also.  Not only that, we are a society where you cannot talk to your friends about problems.  Friends are there only for the good times.  If there was more of a sense of community and people could talk to friends the need for so called "therapy" would be dramatically reduced.

What is a therapist anyway???  An expensive friend!!!!!!

From

carolyn moon <Carcar@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 11:25 PM

I concur.  They all think all psychological issues and personality disorders have to do with some kind of sexual deviancy either done to you or from you.  I know a PhD who likes to photograph porn.  Always looking for a model to pose for him.  I knew of a Psychology teacher in college who liked to sleep with his students.  Trust me if the statistic is correct about how screwed up the majority of so-called therapists (if I recall over 80% of them are screwed and trying to find answers to their own short-comings)  its best to shop around for one who takes healing seriously and not leave ya broke and/or more screwed up than before you entered into their office.

---

From

troi_tribble <freewaydog@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Wed, October 20, 2010 1:45:41 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

I think a lot of MH so-called "professionals" are really pervs! I had a social worker who insisted right in front of my brother that it's not asexuality, but that I am "afraid of sex because my father touched me inappropriately" when we kept trying to tell her NO SUCH thing happened! She did not seem to want to believe that! Or maybe she was trying to tease me & make me upset the same way that my peers who called me a "lesbian" did!

carolyn moon said:

Sadly, you won't find much support in the MH field.  So many therapist buy that

most everything us humans do have to do with sex.  Whatever!  Adopt the philosophy 'Explain nothing'

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 19, 2010 12:21:16 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

  That's why I object strongly to the search for causes as well. I had to confront

my therapist at my last session because she asked me yet again to wait until I

find the right man before deciding I'm asexual. I get really tired of having to

explain and defend who I am all the time. Â

Asking what she would recommend is a good idea, but I think your perspective on what comes first, the feelings or the partner, is a man's.

I have a man's perspective? That's FUNNY!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

I'm sorry I don't know if you had a penis or a vagina.

Neither.

Women don't usually have the same sex drive men do. It is expected of women that they demonstrate their sexual attractiveness and show they are women, I suppose.

I was raised as a girl to the age of 12.

What does that mean. Were you a boy?

No, I was (and am) neuter. No gonads. So physiologically/neuroendocrinologically, there's no plausible way I could have a "male brain" as you say.

I remember plenty of interest

among girls in my sixth and seventh grade classes about boys, kissing, and even making out.

Yes, girls are encouraged by women to behave like girls - kissing, making out, and whatever else. It's all practice for the 'real thing'.

Encouraged by whom? I sure don't recall anybody encouraging 11 and 12 year old girls to kiss and make out and otherwise practice for sex. On the contrary, the encouragement was to "wait"!

A couple of times girls tried to engage me in

conversation about it, and I had no idea what they were talking about. It was very evident that there was something going on with them that was not going on with me.

It probably doesn't go on in them either. Girls learn early to deny - deny their bodies, deny their feelings, etc, etc, etc.

From what I've read and heard from women, one of the things they learn to deny is their sexuality. Are you saying all that literature and self-disclosure about women's sexuality is wrong, and women as a group are asexual after all?

As a teacher and counselor I've seen plenty of young girls developing and expressing sexual and romantic attractions, often a year or two earlier than their male peers were ready to reciprocate, and more like a decade or two earlier than their parents expected or wanted them to!

I hope you don't counsel them

I don't counsel them to have pre-teen sex, if that's what you mean. I also don't counsel them to deny their feelings.

J8

My best friend is actually a therpist, not my therapist, and we share good things and bad a like.

Of course, therapists have personal lives and personal friends. They just shouldn't be friends with their clients, nor should they try to do therapy on their friends.

J8

I'm gender-neutral, not female, so I don't relate at all to the way you describe women... I wouldn't anyway since I've never had sexual feelings to begin with LOL. I do find it interesting and would love to hear from women, especially those who did experience sexual feelings in the past, as to which came first.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Asking what she would recommend is a good idea, but I think your perspective on what comes first, the feelings or the partner, is a man's. Women don't usually have the same sex drive men do. It is expected of women that they demonstrate their sexual attractiveness and show they are women, I suppose.

So what I am saying is, women will seek a partner without having any sexual feelings.

If a woman reads a book recommended by her friend or therapist and cannot relate to it, it probably means they are on different wavelengths, unless the book was recommended because the therapist thought that was where her client was at in her life.

As for your therapist, ask her to review a good textbook about human sexuality. People generally know what their sexual interests are before they find the "right" partner. If they didn't have sexual feelings prior to finding a partner, they wouldn't be interested in looking for (sexual) partners in the first place.

J8

Do you mean you're androgenous, or physically neither male nor female?

As I said, I think the sexual feelings for women are more likely to come with the relationship, not be the reason for one.

When people recall their pasts, they are more likely to remember things that support the way they think about themselves at the current time. Women who feel sexy might recall having strong feelings within themselves, when it might not have been that way.

It's a fact that women don't have the same sex drive as men. How many girls think they're going to die if they don't have sex?

But how many girls think they're going to die if they don't get a boyfriend?

I'm gender-neutral, not female, so I don't relate at all to the way you describe women... I wouldn't anyway since I've never had sexual feelings to begin with LOL. I do find it interesting and would love to hear from women, especially those who did experience sexual feelings in the past, as to which came first.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Asking what she would recommend is a good idea, but I think your perspective on what comes first, the feelings or the partner, is a man's. Women don't usually have the same sex drive men do. It is expected of women that they demonstrate their sexual attractiveness and show they are women, I suppose.

So what I am saying is, women will seek a partner without having any sexual feelings.

If a woman reads a book recommended by her friend or therapist and cannot relate to it, it probably means they are on different wavelengths, unless the book was recommended because the therapist thought that was where her client was at in her life.

As for your therapist, ask her to review a good textbook about human sexuality. People generally know what their sexual interests are before they find the "right" partner. If they didn't have sexual feelings prior to finding a partner, they wouldn't be interested in looking for (sexual) partners in the first place.

J8

YES!!!

I concur. They all think all psychological issues and personality disorders have to do with some kind of sexual deviancy either done to you or from you. I know a PhD who likes to photograph porn. Always looking for a model to pose for him. I knew of a Psychology teacher in college who liked to sleep with his students. Trust me if the statistic is correct about how screwed up the majority of so-called therapists (if I recall over 80% of them are screwed and trying to find answers to their own short-comings) its best to shop around for one who takes healing seriously and not leave ya broke and/or more screwed up than before you entered into their office.

---

From

troi_tribble <freewaydog@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Wed, October 20, 2010 1:45:41 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

I think a lot of MH so-called "professionals" are really pervs! I had a social worker who insisted right in front of my brother that it's not asexuality, but that I am "afraid of sex because my father touched me inappropriately" when we kept trying to tell her NO SUCH thing happened! She did not seem to want to believe that! Or maybe she was trying to tease me & make me upset the same way that my peers who called me a "lesbian" did!

carolyn moon said:

Sadly, you won't find much support in the MH field. So many therapist buy that

most everything us humans do have to do with sex. Whatever! Adopt the philosophy 'Explain nothing'

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 19, 2010 12:21:16 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

 That's why I object strongly to the search for causes as well. I had to confront

my therapist at my last session because she asked me yet again to wait until I

find the right man before deciding I'm asexual. I get really tired of having to

explain and defend who I am all the time. Â

Therapists cannot be friends, that is toxic!

Yes, I agree also.  Not only that, we are a society where you cannot talk to your friends about problems.  Friends are there only for the good times.  If there was more of a sense of community and people could talk to friends the need for so called "therapy" would be dramatically reduced.   What is a therapist anyway???  An expensive friend!!!!!! Â

On 20 Oct 2010, carolyn moon said:

From

carolyn moon <Carcar@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 11:25 PM

Â

I concur.  They all think all psychological issues and personality disorders have to do with some kind of sexual deviancy either done to you or from you.  I know a PhD who likes to photograph porn.  Always looking for a model to pose for him.  I knew of a Psychology teacher in college who liked to sleep with his students.  Trust me if the statistic is correct about how screwed up the majority of so-called therapists (if I recall over 80% of them are screwed and trying to find answers to their own short-comings)  its best to shop around for one who takes healing seriously and not leave ya broke and/or more screwed up than before you entered into their office.

From

troi_tribble <freewaydog@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Wed, October 20, 2010 1:45:41 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

Â

I think a lot of MH so-called "professionals" are really pervs! I had a social worker who insisted right in front of my brother that it's not asexuality, but that I am "afraid of sex because my father touched me inappropriately" when we kept trying to tell her NO SUCH thing happened! She did not seem to want to believe that! Or maybe she was trying to tease me & make me upset the same way that my peers who called me a "lesbian" did!

carolyn moon said:

Sadly, you won't find much support in the MH field.  So many therapist buy that most everything us humans do have to do with sex.  Whatever!  Adopt the philosophy 'Explain nothing'

Thanks Rene,

Yes, it would be good if we could meet face to face and chat about asexulity...who knows maybe one day.

Cheers Al (Sydney)

Al,

Thanks! I wish you were in the US. I would love to talk on the phone and get to know a male asexual.

Rene

I 100% totally agree with this comment, it is SO TRUE. Cheers Al (from Sydney)

Yes, I agree also. Not only that, we are a society where you cannot talk to your friends about problems. Friends are there only for the good times. If there was more of a sense of community and people could talk to friends the need for so called "therapy" would be dramatically reduced.

What is a therapist anyway??? An expensive friend!!!!!!

I concur. They all think all psychological issues and personality disorders have to do with some kind of sexual deviancy either done to you or from you. I know a PhD who likes to photograph porn. Always looking for a model to pose for him. I knew of a Psychology teacher in college who liked to sleep with his students. Trust me if the statistic is correct about how screwed up the majority of so-called therapists (if I recall over 80% of them are screwed and trying to find answers to their own short-comings) its best to shop around for one who takes healing seriously and not leave ya broke and/or more screwed up than before you entered into their office.

I think a lot of MH so-called "professionals" are really pervs! I had a social worker who insisted right in front of my brother that it's not asexuality, but that I am "afraid of sex because my father touched me inappropriately" when we kept trying to tell her NO SUCH thing happened! She did not seem to want to believe that! Or maybe she was trying to tease me & make me upset the same way that my peers who called me a "lesbian" did!

Sadly, you won't find much support in the MH field. So many therapist buy that most everything us humans do have to do with sex. Whatever! Adopt the philosophy 'Explain nothing'

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 19, 2010 12:21:16 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Just curious...

 That's why I object strongly to the search for causes as well. I had to confront my therapist at my last session because she asked me yet again to wait until I find the right man before deciding I'm asexual. I get really tired of having to explain and defend who I am all the time. Â

Jim: Encouraged by whom? I sure don't recall anybody encouraging 11 and 12 year old girls to kiss and make out and otherwise practice for sex. On the contrary, the encouragement was to "wait"!

Sue: Encouraged by the media, by advertising, by what they see around them. They are just playing, as I said - practising for when they're older. A few short years later, the game gets to be more serious.

Jim: From what I've read and heard from women, one of the things they learn to deny is their sexuality. Are you saying all that literature and self-disclosure about women's sexuality is wrong, and women as a group are asexual after all?

Ideas about sexuality have changed over the years. It was said that women were not expressing their sexuality, probably due to cultural norms which suggested women should save themselves for marriage and so on. But young women today are being encouraged to 'get in touch' with their sexuality. Read Jessica Valenti, for one - the Myth of Purity.

I can't comment on "all at literature" as everyone's experience is somewhat different. I'm sure Jessica V has been well-rewarded and well-treated for doing and writing about sex. Women's freedom to be themselves, sexually, doesn't mean going out and having lots of sex with men they don't know. I think it's hard for women to know themselves, sexually, when there is so much pressure on them to be a certain way (whatever that is, whichever century).

Much of the problems today are due to feminism. Women are expected to act like men if they want to work alongside them, and if they want to be one of the boys that might mean seeing sex and love differently than we did many years ago.

On 20 Oct 2009, 00:28 +00:00, Sue McPherson said:

Asking what she would recommend is a good idea, but I think your perspective on what comes first, the feelings or the partner, is a man's.

I have a man's perspective? That's FUNNY!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

I'm sorry I don't know if you had a penis or a vagina.

Neither.

Women don't usually have the same sex drive men do. It is expected of women that they demonstrate their sexual attractiveness and show they are women, I suppose.

I was raised as a girl to the age of 12.

What does that mean. Were you a boy?

No, I was (and am) neuter. No gonads. So physiologically/neuroendocrinologically, there's no plausible way I could have a "male brain" as you say.

I remember plenty of interest

among girls in my sixth and seventh grade classes about boys, kissing, and even making out.

Yes, girls are encouraged by women to behave like girls - kissing, making out, and whatever else. It's all practice for the 'real thing'.

Encouraged by whom? I sure don't recall anybody encouraging 11 and 12 year old girls to kiss and make out and otherwise practice for sex. On the contrary, the encouragement was to "wait"!

A couple of times girls tried to engage me in

conversation about it, and I had no idea what they were talking about. It was very evident that there was something going on with them that was not going on with me.

It probably doesn't go on in them either. Girls learn early to deny - deny their bodies, deny their feelings, etc, etc, etc.

From what I've read and heard from women, one of the things they learn to deny is their sexuality. Are you saying all that literature and self-disclosure about women's sexuality is wrong, and women as a group are asexual after all?

As a teacher and counselor I've seen plenty of young girls developing and expressing sexual and romantic attractions, often a year or two earlier than their male peers were ready to reciprocate, and more like a decade or two earlier than their parents expected or wanted them to!

I hope you don't counsel them

I don't counsel them to have pre-teen sex, if that's what you mean. I also don't counsel them to deny their feelings.

J8

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Interesting article, thanks. I am aromantic as well, but I know that there are ppl on here who are romantic asexuals & desire a romantic asexual partner. This article mentions this site: http://www.asexualpalsboard.com/index.php

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

This is an excerpt from the article. Possibly what the author is referring to is the kind of involuntary physical response from a stimulus of some sort. By the way, I think it's men who need porn to masturbate with 'successfully', not women. As to what gets them aroused, maybe they just won the grand slam, or have had other peak experiences. Surely asexuals wouldn't think of these as sexual, but others might.

Sue

Scientists have just scratched the surface in studying human asexuality. You can count the number of studies on the subject on one hand. Does asexuality, like homosexuality, have heritable components? Certainly it’s plausible. After all, historically, female asexuals would have probably had offspring with their male sexual partners, thus ensuring continuity of the genetic bases of asexuality. Although Bogaert’s original findings suggested that asexuality was somewhat more common among women, more recent research by Prause and Graham found no such gender difference in their college-aged sample of self-reported asexuals. If some asexuals masturbate in the absence of sexual fantasy or porn, then what exactly is it that’s getting them physically aroused? (And how does one achieve orgasm--as some asexuals apparently do--without experiencing pleasure?)

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

What about "weirdos" like me that feel repulsed by the whole sex thing?

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Exactly. I don't personally feel repulsed, but I have zero interest. It is presumptuous, to say the least, that being capable of a physical reaction and an interest in a physical reaction are one and the same.

Asexuals differ in their attitudes towards sex but are united in their lack of sexual desire, interest and attraction. I'm disappointed in how many people seem to want to paint us as just a "different kind of sexual" when we are not sexual in the first place.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

What about "weirdos" like me that feel repulsed by the whole sex thing?

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

First and foremost (in general, for society) sex is about reproduction. It's what enable us to exist. Even the article mentions this, that some asexuals bear children and that is one way asexuals continue to exist. The other way is for each genetic, or 'just is' kind of asexual, or the one who believes culture has a part in it, to discover it on their own, that they are asexual.

There are all kinds of asexual people out there, including people who never feel anything physical sexually, or people who are repulsed by the thought.

If you think of heterosexual people, there is a wide range of individuals who would say that's what they are, and it would include Gandhi and even people like Russell Williams from Canada, who just got his high military rank taken away and got sent to jail, for stealing teens panties, videotaping himself playing with the underwear, and killing two women. That's not what heterosexuality is, ideally, but my point is, there are all kinds of people in any of these categories.

If a person here thinks they're weird, maybe they are, I don't know. Maybe they're putting themselves down unecessarily. Being repulsed by something is not big deal. People shouldn't make you try and like it if you don't want to. And they shouldn't try and make you feel weird.

Maybe the unifying part of asexuality is lack of sexual desire and attraction, as Stephanie says, but with variations in such things as drive, or physical feelings.

Sue

Exactly. I don't personally feel repulsed, but I have zero interest. It is presumptuous, to say the least, that being capable of a physical reaction and an interest in a physical reaction are one and the same.

Asexuals differ in their attitudes towards sex but are united in their lack of sexual desire, interest and attraction. I'm disappointed in how many people seem to want to paint us as just a "different kind of sexual" when we are not sexual in the first place.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

What about "weirdos" like me that feel repulsed by the whole sex thing?

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

They live for bumping uglies.  They can't imagine life without it.  Considering you can do it yourself I have never understood why all ths fuss.  i

Exactly. I don't personally feel repulsed, but I have zero interest. It is presumptuous, to say the least, that being capable of a physical reaction and an interest in a physical reaction are one and the same.

Asexuals differ in their attitudes towards sex but are united in their lack of sexual desire, interest and attraction. I'm disappointed in how many people seem to want to paint us as just a "different kind of sexual" when we are not sexual in the first place.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

What about "weirdos" like me that feel repulsed by the whole sex thing?

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29