Haven for the Human Amoeba

I agree with what everyone's saying about having more time/energy. There's a sort of clarity (BIG word in my early asexual-angst peotry) that we have. Sex, aside from taking up energy, mucks alot of things up and makes them more complicated. I think that we still spend time on making relationships, but not nearly as much, I really want to avoid the whole asexuals-dont-have/need-relationships thing, because I think its an extremely negative stigma (not to jump on you, its just a hot button.) I actually find that I redirect alot of the "extra energy" that I have back into figuring out asexuality (hence all the theory).

That being said. There's alot of "Hey, in alot of ways we can kick sexual ass any day of the week" going on in this forum, which is great and empowering and which I'm all for. BUT, I think its important to remember that we are not inherintly better than sexual people (a trap I sometimes fall into.) Sexuality is a rich, deep, expressive thing, and if you are wired for it it is by no means a waste of time and energy.

-BRC

Good day to everyone.

First I would like to clear up a little point about a previous post (I tend to be vague sometimes and I apologize). I don't feel that asexuals are better than sexuals (or women are better then men, whites better than black, ect). I was just observing that many asexuals seem to be artistic. While I don't recall stating or even implying that I feel that asexuals are better than sexuals artistically or otherwise, let me just go on the record as saying that is not the case. I only brought it up because I thought it was an interesting observation that a high number of asexuals seem to be hyperartistic and I was wondering if anyone else had noticed a similar pattern. I am only trying to bring out positive qualities of being an asexual, not demean sexuals. I am also trying to figure out how asexuality relates to other parts of my life as well. So if there is a seuxal who feels I am being alienating, please let me know (*winks at PIMP*).

About relationships, I feel that I put as much time as a sexual person does in to relationships. Then again I guess they have to put energy into chasing sex on top of having to try to get to know the person. However being so different may not give me the opportunity to have relationships as much because I don't have much in common with the "everyday joe".

Guess that is all for now..I'll prob post a little later but I am trying to do about ten things at once and it's not working! Down to nine.

--GirlTech

Yeah, I didn't mean to sound accusatory at all. It's just something that we should watch out for. I definitely think that finding how asexuality relates to other parts of our life is important, because it subtely affects a pretty large area.

Relationships: on the one hand, I agree with you. Relationships are more difficult because we don't have a model to base them off of the way that sexuals do, we literally have to build our concepts of intimacy from the ground up. The flip side of that is that we have the largest relationship pool of anyone. Since our intimate relationships look like friendships we can have them with people, queer, straight, sexual and asexual of all genders and ages.

Another interesting thing to think about/watch for...

Over the summer I did a good deal of work around internalized oppression in the queer community. How does heterosexism and homophobia exist within the queer community, what does it affect (exclusion of bi/trans people. Need to be "straight acting." Alot of different things.) SO, I'm wondering how sexually centered thinking clamps down this community. How much do we still limit ourselves because we were raised in a sexually-centered society? It seems like we've only BEGUN to explore the implications of shedding sexuality.

-BRC

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the movie "When Harry met Sally" but the question of the movie is can men and women just be friends? Of course the movie's answer to this is no and they hop in the sack together in the end. I guess my question is can asexuals and sexuals be friends (there is no 'just' in the sentence because there is no alternative).

I am quite honestly finding the answer to this question to be no as well, at least with sexuals of the opposite sex. It has been my experience that sexuals tend to only make friends with people that they have a sexual interest in, as if there is no sexual attraction there's no point. So far my pattern of being friends with sexuals have gone like this: We meet, we talk, we get to know each other, we really like each other, then sex rears its ugly head. Though I make it clear in the begining that I am asexual, after the friendship progresses they still try to force the issue. But since we are of different sexualities, unlike when Harry met Sally, the only alternative is to leave and this is usually not pretty.

I find that when you tell an asexual "no" to sex that they take it as a rejection to them as a person instead of what it really is (a rejection of the act). So all my friendships with sexuals have ended bitterly. I was wondering if anyone else has had similar expereinces. Also if the answer truly is no to this question, where does that leave us as asexuals?

Don't get me wrong, I wouldnt mind having all asexual friends, it is just that there are so few of us around and we are all so scattered apart that would be practically impossible (other than just cyberfriends, which is awesome to :-D) but I am sure you all can get what I am saying.

It just feels like sexuals use friendship as a means to an end whereas asexuals find the friendship to be an end in itslef (Philosophy 101 rearing it's head hehe). Perhaps I am just misunderstaning, and sexuals only view sex as a furtherance of the frienship? Either way the outcome is the same. Maybe the relationships between asexual men and sexual women turn out better?

Just wondering if anyone else has noticed this pattern or if ya'll have any comments. I would especially like to hear from PIMP on this one to get the "sexual view" so to speak.

--GirlTech

I know you weren't meaning to sound acusitory but when you said that I just thought I'd better clarify.

As far as "watching out" for what we say, I am all for it in the public/sexual arena. However I am more laid back here and tend to speak freely about my asexuality and whatever is on my mind about it at the time. Since I am in an asexual arena, I will post a message about asexuals being artistic that I would probably word differently in a sexual arena if I even mentioned it at all in one. I just assume that asexuals get the point and that sexuals understand that they are in an asexual arena and no one is trying to alienate them. I hope than any sexuals understand this and don't take offense to what I say.

Shedding the effects of the sexual community is something I have never really thought about before. I am curious to BRC's and others thoughts on this. I actually never figgured that there was anything to "shed". I am not sexual, their things (porn or whatever) don't affect or appeal to me and that is all I ever really considered. Perhaps I am oversimplifiying asexuality, sexuality, or both.

--GirlTech

I know I'm guilty of the "hey we can kick sexual ass any day of the week", which is part of my own psycho-narcissistic defense mechanisms. I'm not exactly "out and proud" in the real world about my asexuality. Most people who know me have noticed it, but they don't talk about it, and neither do I. People don't talk about relationships at all with me, simply because I'm never in one. I suppose they see it like a disease, like I've been forced into celibacy and I probably feel ashamed. It took me a while to discover that I didn't want a sexual relationship, anyway, but I don't feel comfortable with letting people know that.

I tend to observe closely and find the faults in others. I'm also frighteningly aware of my own faults, but I find ways to rationalize them. There are many faults among the sexual community, too many to list. I know that I'm not better than a whole community. People do not have a choice to be sexual. I don't see why anyone would *want* to be sexual, so that in itself implies that it's not for me at all. I do see it as a waste of time and energy, and sometimes it's difficult not to hold that against people. When you know someone who spends so much time doing something that you find utterly idiotic, you lose a little respect for them. At least I do. It's wrong, but I do.

Alvo here. (I usually just chat with you all, but I want to leave a message this time.)

I totally understant where Drksparkle is coming from. This is my second day of college, and I have come to realize that not only am I celibate but I am slightly misantropic. I am VERY lonely when I am surrounded by tons of people; so the idea of actually going through all of the deceit-based ritual in order to just fornicate with one of them is unconcionable!

In fact I have noticed that the art of making friends involves a pick-up line of sorts! These sorts of social maneuverings seem like a collosal waste of time. NOT TO MENTION SEX!

That is basically what I was trying to get across in my last post. Clarity, spare time; and energy that can be placed into that spare time, are all obvious effects. My assertion: These three attributes (and possibly others) all work towards making one a more output oriented individual by default. What that output may be, is entirely up to the individual, and highly tainted by personality traits. For some of us (especially on this board it seems), it is artistic, for others it is knowlege, and yes, for some it is even relationships! There is a plethora of things out there than can be done, and if you have more of the three above components, you can get them done well.

As for any slightly to nonslightly asexual Power statements: I suppose it is important to remember that for most of us here, we've had a strange, and for some, difficult road in the past. I speak from my own experience here, up until this point I've had to endure living in a world that completely does not understand me, and because of that, I didn't even understand myself for many years. I hated myself for being so detached from the world, I thought it was a huge personality flaw. I thought maybe I was disfunctional (and maybe I am, in some people's view), and most importantly I had to live a lie. Then when I finally had a glimmer of what might be the seed of the problem, I had my relationship yanked away from me, and the one person I truly loved -- fall out of love with me because I couldn't be what I wasn't.

That is just my story, and I'm sure there are thousands out there like it. So when you suddenly stumble into a place where suddenly everybody understands you; it can be wildly overwhelming. It isn't a fault that we get excited and maybe say a few things that would insinuate superiority. We've had to live in a world where we are taken as inferior beings by default. I'm not saying it is right, but I'm saying I understand the feeling, because I feel it myself sometimes.

Can an asexual person be a friend with a sexual person:

I have had some very rich friendships in the past with sexual people of both genders. I still carry some of those with me today (though mostly in the long distance format because I move so often.) So, I don't think it would be fair to say that it is impossible. It is difficult though for a number of reasons. Another thing that would be important to separate is pre and post realization of my asexuality on my part. I'll focus on post-realization, since that is what is relevant (even though, because of how recently this happened, I don't have a lot of data to draw from.)

With straight women, I've found that they are wondering where I'm coming from. To give a little background information, I'm an excessively generous person. I don't think it is vain to say that I have gifts to give, and I give them gladly. In this world, when a man willingly gives generously to a woman, certain expectations can arise. Why is he giving me all of this artwork? Now, if they are not interested in a sexual encounter with me, this creates tension because they are looking at me as a normal person and thinking that I am "expecting something in return." On the other hand, if they are in fact interested in me sexually, it creates an entirely different and much more complicated set of tensions, where they try to hint their willingness and receive absolutely nothing in return for me, confusing them to no end. In contrary to most of this, I have had some extremely beneficial relationships with sexual woman, and I wouldn't change a single factor of our friendship. My best friends have always been with woman, and here is why:

With straight men, things have always been difficult. I simply do not live in their world, and they do not live in mine. While I've had some great male friends in the past, there has always been a huge separation in our friendship, a conceptualized black hole of sorts, that always leaves us staring at the floor with nothing to say after a bit. It's a real shame, because I've known some great guys in the past. I wish I could say that sexuality and a lack of sexuality really wasn't that big of a thing, and that it could be confined to a few areas of life, but it really can't. With men, especially (and I know this sounds like stereotyping,) sexuality is a huge part of their lives, even in the non-sexual aspects of it, essentially skewing practically everything they do. You don't really realize this unless you have somebody like me around as a control set.

The summery: Relationships with sexual people are certainly possible, but almost always difficult. It is a bit like culture shock (actually a lot like that) where you might be able to sustain casual friendships, but any deep relationship is going to have rifts in it that are hard to get around. Of the best friends I have right now, one is male and homosexual. The other is female and sexual, but I told her almost right off the bat about who I am, and she accepted this surprisingly well. Now that she knows about it, 99% of the above mentioned tension problems don't exist and clarity remains (at least at this point, we shall see as the years tick by.)

I put this in a separate message because I feel it merits that. In regards to how sexual people view their own sexuality in relationships.

Shortly after I brought up my asexuality with the individual I mentioned in the prior message, we had an interesting discussion on the topic. She asked me to define what love is, how could I love somebody deeply without the sex aspect being a part of it? I have to admit I really couldn't give her a clear answer. The best I could come up with was to compare it to her best platonic relationship held with the same sex. A person you would die for, would do anything for, but sexual attraction never gets into the equation.

Her response to this was that the most beautiful thing about love (in her opinion) was to take all of that and allow intimacy into the equation. To her, romance adds an entirely new level to everything. Another interesting thing she stated was that romance can accelerate the advancement of the factors that create a true friend. It's a bit of a catalyst, where you can find out in the space of weeks whether or not this person is truly a good friend, or not. On the other hand it can take years to discover the flaws and strengths of a person based on a platonic level. I thought that was very interesting.

Obviously, I couldn't really say much in retort to what she said. I have no way of understanding how something as simple as a little romping around can add that much dimension to a friendship. I trust her view on the world though, as she is one of the most "grounded" people I've ever met.

I'm all on GirlTech's side here as far as regulating how we talk on this forum. I know that I'm really new here, and perhaps that makes me a bit obnoxious for talking the way I am right now. I just think that for most of us, we've been in a world were we have either had to hide who we are (sometimes for our own safety!) or go through great flaming hoops to make ourselves understood.

Let's please not turn this into a place where people are afraid to say what they think. Even if we do not all agree with what is being said.

As Sparkle mentioned, most of us probably are not very vocal or "active" about our sexuality in the world (especially if you live in geographic regions that are notoriously close-minded about such issues.) This is one of the few places where we can be open, because we do not have to fear any major consequences.

Let's keep the word "Haven..." in the name of this community exactly what the word is defined as: A place of *refuge* or rest; a sanctuary.

Anti-suppression comments in a suppressive tone ironies aside. :)

Sorry about the way that I phrased my earlier "don't be better than sexuals comment", looking back over it is way more shutting-down than I origionally intended. The basic point I wanted to make/story I wanted to tell is that I went through a few years where I thought that being asexual automatically made me not sexist not heterosexist and generally superior in most ways. I would lose respect for people if they got in a romantic relationship or expressed their sexuality in any way. This was a really negative thing, not only did it cause me to dislike people without relevant reason (and ignore the ways in which I AM still sexist and heterosexist), I got so caught up in "not being sexual" that I limited my understanding of myself. This is NOT to say that I am against asexual pride in any way. I think that it is an extremely essential part of the equation, especially now, and this should be the forum to express it. So, essentially, take my story in and ignore everything else I've said.

-BRC

Before I delve into a nonsexual friendship tyrade: TOMORROW I FINALLY GET A ROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WEEK !! No more sleeping in lounges, on the floors of people I don't know, in trees. No more "personalizing" of the computers in the lab. No more daily "shower hunts." Rejoice with me !!

My story with nonsexual friendships. About 6 years ago I remember being absolutely terrified of sexuality, and as a result kept my interactions with other people to the computer game talk that was standard fare-not-involving-sex for boys my age. In my expereince gender norms (most of which are extremely heterosexually centered), clamp down hard on platonic same-gender friendships. I didn't form really close relationships with people until some girls started coming out in my freshman year of highschool. Presented with someone who wouldn't be attracted to me and with whome I wasn't expected to fit a heterosexual code of conduct I felt vastly liberated, and began to explore and discuss my asexuality. As I became more comfortable with myself, my asexuality, and the concept of having a close friendship with someone I began to become comfortable first with girls in commited heterosexual relationships (which caused some issues once the relationship became nonphysically intimate), and then to straight girls who were single. I spent ALOT of time and energy developing an intuitive sense of how to tell when people were attracted to me and how to appear interesting but not "give off a sexual vibe." (Hence the Platonic Pimping Association of '98.) I've been "out" to my close friends for some time, and that still remains one of my failsafes for eliminating sexual tension. I've only become "out" (in quotes because I'm not certain how well the word appropriates. It's more like coming out of the woodwork than the closet.) to a general population recently, and that makes things easier but also more complicated at times. I also think it's easier being male. I don't know of straight men having the sort of classic stereotypical comradarie with lesbians as straight women have with gay men (the crossover to asexuality is apparent.) At this point I feel I have no problem at all forming relationships with sexual people (I say this after becoming friends with about 50 random frosh in the past 5 days). My general rule is if your interested in someone and they don't know why they'll assume its sexual. So make it clear (in as laid back a way as possible), why you are and sexual tension won't have room to gestate. Generally keeping things as laid back as possible is good, because tension can be confused for sexual tension all too easily.

I feel a "message oversize" error coming on, so I'll continue in a sec.

-BRC

Continuing from my earlier post..

The long and short of it is that in my experience it is entirely possible to form close relationships with sexual people, even those who have the possibility of being attracted to you. That is to say that the some of the closest relationships I have formed thusfar have been with that manner of folk, and through general mutual understanding (it is as important for me to udnerstand their sexuality as for them to understand my asexuality) and passivity (see my earlier post), we've been able chug merrily along without much fuss or worry. However I feel like there's still alot for me to figure out. (Sorry about the extreme use of the I-voice here, but I feel like generalizing is something I do too much of, and I want to be honest about where these ideas are coming from.) I know that for sexual people a fully intimate relationship HAS to involve sexuality (because, by the nature of intimacy, they couldn't keep that part of themselves out.) So I can form really close relationships with them, but I know that "The" intimate relationship (marraige or equiv.) will have to be a sexual one for them and an asexual one for me. And I still have no idea what a marraige-equivalent relationship would look like in my life, or if I even want one. So for the time being I'm fine, but there's stuff in the future that I know will be relevant that is still extremely fuzzy. Hope that people can relate to/benefit from this tyrade.

-BRC

I threw the two earlier pairs up there because they're both examples of classic platonic relationships which remained that way through manipulation/playing around with sexual tension. (Though I'm not up on recent x-files.) An interesting concept, dont' know how relevant it is. Also, Data was one of my personal heroes/roll models through elementary/middle school, so I had to throw him in there. Data's relationship with La Forge: Data was stated on the show to be asexual (on all but a few for-comedy occassions) and was extremely good friends with La Forge. What I find interesting is that La Forge then stayed single (or felt little need to date, if I remember correctly, which probably don't.) for most of the series. How much of a need for sexuality is actually a need for nonsexual stuff like intimacy and play? How much can a relationship with an asexual person lessen someone's need for sex?

-BRC

Nearly all of my best friends have been straight women or gay men. In other words, I'm platonically attracted to people who will never be sexually attracted to me. I was afraid of straight men and lesbians for a long time, but not so much now. I'm at least a little bit wary of heterosexual men, not because I think they'd be attracted to me, or even because I think they wouldn't be. I'm afraid of being evaluated in that way, something which I feel is inevitable. I don't get that feeling with lesbians, or maybe it's just because my ex-best friend was a lesbian and I never had "problems" with her. Actually, the reason why I say "ex-best friend" is because after she discovered her homosexuality, she pretty much stopped talking to anyone who wouldn't put out, or at least talk about the joys of putting out. So has been the ends of nearly every friendship I've ever had.

I recently came in touch with a friend of mine from junior high school. She told me in e-mail that she was very nervous about telling me about her first boyfriend in 7th grade. She felt bad because she had a boyfriend and I didn't. I think that's part of why people never tell me about their relationships (not that I want to hear about them, anyway). It's pity.

Sorry to continue driving this subject into the ground, but I've received another inspiration. Instead of a circle, how about a few interlocking circles? 2 interlocking circles is the symbol for marriage, and 3 interlocking circles are the symbol for unity and togetherness( which I like, but it also has a connotation of the Father Son and Holy Spirit, which isn't quite what I intend.)I also like the idea of circles touching but not interlocking.

Note: I consulted the Dictionary of Symbols, I don't know these things offhand.

I'll answer you're last question for you, BRC, Not Much. But then again, Unlike most Sexuals, I have learned to separate my sex drive from my drive to form Relationships. Being Friends with you has not reduced my need for sex, But it has allowed me to see that I don't need to include it in my attempts to befirend someone (ala the Platonic Pimping association of '98) As the Designated Sexual person on the site, I must shed my light on the question of Aesexual/Sexual Friendship. It depends wholly on the amount the sexual person understands their own sexuality. Many, if not most, Sexual people have accepted social constructs of how their sexuality should be and what they should do with it and when. Very Few of tehm probably fit those norms naturally. Queer people probably have a better understanding, but not always- my roomate last year would be a good example. But the Asexual person has no social norm to attach to, and so has to come to understand their sexuality (Or lack thereof) far better than Most. The more a Sexual person understands their sexuality and how it relates to the rest of the world, the easier it will be to form a good friendship with an Asexual. And maybe a good friendship with an asexual helps a sexual person understand their sexuality better.

Well I finally started reading Boston Marriages. I think that the term that they really meant was "nonsexual" because they point out that thought the lesbians aren't having sex that they are or were sexualy attracted to each other. However there are great insights on asexuality. From what I have read so far the book strives to define relationships that are with out sex. It actually has already confronted the sex drive and love issue already discussed in the forum and I have barely started good.

As far as feeling superior to sexuals, I don't think I ever have. I have almost felt pitty for them at times. I guess the reason is because they will never know the great connection of a purely emotional relationship unclouded by sex or lust. On the other hand, I suppose they could say the same about me and and the "pleasures" of a totally physical relationship (thought I doubt I would ever find such a relationship pleasurable).

About the asexual/sexual friendship, you all gave me some great ideas. I would just like to know if an asexual woman has ever had a successful friendship with a sexual man. I'm not picking on men here but I think that everyone will agree that sexual men are more "physical" and sexual. After all I don't think that men buy Playboy to see what Miss September's Hobbies are.

With this being said, I believe that asexual men have problems with sexual men.

From the people I have talked to so far, it is men that try to "fix" us asexuals. Men try to fix asexual women by trying to sleep with them and they try to fix other men through pressure. I honestly believe that a woman would be less likely to try to "fix" a man through sex (however some women do the peer pressure thing to asexual women). Of course this is all from my own personal observations. Perhaps ya'lls experiences have been different.

Well Guess that's all for now...hope everyone has a great day.

--GirlTech

I have had a few scattered and very short-lived friendships with heterosexual males. The first one ended because he kept bragging to me about all the girls he'd slept with. He dated my best friend for a long time, and he told me that he always liked me better, but went out with her because she was hot. Years after the fact, I think that he meant to tell me that he liked me and only went out with her because he thought she was hot, but at that time I interpreted it as "you're too ugly to date. I'll have sex with just about *anything* and you're still too ugly". Thus, our friendship ended.

The second was the closest thing I've ever had to a boyfriend, completely non-physical but I did have a very strange attachment to him, even though he was psychologically abusive, constantly trying to make me feel stupid. That ended on an unpleasant note.

The third also ended over a semi-sexual situation. He told me that his girlfriend was "childish" "a bit dumb" "whiny" and "immature" but she was also "eye-candy" so that made her a better person than me! He actually said she was a better person. He also didn't see what was so wrong with that. He tried to explain that he didn't mean "better" on some ethereal level, just that in society and his mind she was better than me.

So...basically I seem to befriend guys who say dumb things. Then I end up hating them.

The problem? I (like many women) overinterpret everything a guy says or does, and these guys (like many men) don't take hidden meanings into account. Ever.

Wow, I post so much I am running out of subject lines to put. Pretty soon I'm just gonna have to put the date and time...hehe.

Anyway, I know this is a strange question, but was anyone here born prematurely? I have a little theory going on that isn't really doing so well as I do more research on it but I figure what the heck.

I also wated to ask those of you who have contributed symbols for permission to use them on my asexual webring page.

I saw the updated club message and I guess this is still the only asexual club. Surprising considering most clubs usually develop one or two clones but then not so surprising because this is a great forum, so who would want to leave and strike out on their own!

<<The problem? I (like many women) overinterpret everything a guy says or does, and these guys (like many men) don't take hidden meanings into account. Ever.>> Wow drk, I think you hit the nail right on the head.

Well it is late and I am resorting to cliches so I suppose I better go...hope everyone had a safe holiday weekend.

--GirlTech

It's probably extremely bad form to fill one's first post with self-pity, but I've been having a really bad time with the Yahoo clubs for the past two months. First one of my clubs gets deleted and then I get censored off of another one. I'm hoping that my time here will be a bit more fruitful.

Anyway, here's my story...I'm in my early-mid twenties and have sworn off of sex permanently. No big epiphany in my life, no traumatic sexual experience (I've never actually had sex), but I simply don't see where sex fits into my life. I don't think that I'm asexual in the sense that I am not completely devoid of sexual desire, but I just don't really see the need to translate my perfect fantasies into an imperfect reality...and I'm comfortable with this. I can be affectionate, but I'm usually not and, like someone else here said, I have to have my personal space and I get very uncomfortable when it's invaded. There are too many other things that I want in this life for me to expend any considerable amount of energy pursuing something that is wholly unnecessary to my happiness.

I look forward to reading all of your posts and I promise to curb my usual brand of vitriol as much as is humanly possible.

Judy

[ <<The problem? I (like many women) overinterpret everything a guy says or does, and these guys (like many men) don't take hidden meanings into account. Ever.>> Wow drk, I think you hit the nail right on the head. ]

Interesting.

On the symbol, go right ahead and use it. As long as it is associated with asexuality. That's kind of what I made it. :)

I wasn't born prematurely, but I was born with the largest feet on record in the hospital! The only other anomaly would be the fact that my mother was two weeks in labor with me.

Hi and welcome!

I know what you mean about Yahoo clubs. I just had to delete a very promising club that I had worked very hard on because yahoo moved it from it's proper section to a totally opposite one so the target audience had no idea it existed. Anyway if it makes you feel any better, so far there have been no probs with this club.

I really liked what you said about turning a perfect fantasy into an imperfect reality. In a previous post I was discussing that I sometimes felt sorry for sexuals and this is a point that I didn't even mention, but it is a big one. Many people tend to think that if they kiss enough frogs that they will find their prince or princess and perhaps a few do. However, personally I would prefer to expend my energies elsewhere, and I think I would feel the same even if I did have a higer sex drive. After all, we can have deep relationships that few sexuals can achieve (or atleast not ruin by sex most of the time) and best of all we get to avoid the warts!

Okay enough of my rambling about that. Oh yeah, about holding back, I don't think anyone in this club holds back so I wouldn't worry about it. All the members pretty well agree that we just want to say whats on our minds. Can't wait to hear your views.

--GirlTech