Haven for the Human Amoeba

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suemcp001 Sue McPherson
suemcp001
Sue McPherson
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Dispelling Common Myths about Asexuality

This seems to be a very 'fixed' understanding of what constitutes asexuality. Men and women are different anyway, sexually, so their asexuality would be different too, from one another.

For instance, girls have to learn how to sexual, in the way society wants it. To be otherwise would be a real spanner in the works. We have to keep society going. I'm not saying asexuality is wrong or immoral, I'm just saying it doesn't comply with the needs of society - of our world. Based on that, some people might say there's something wrong with asexuality, as they did with homosexuality.

This seems like a very biological interpretation of asexuality, whereas to be *sexual* involves more fluidity, more changes over the life cycle than this interpretation.

What you've given us is your interpretation, but that doean't mean that that is all asexuality is. People can feel 'asexual' without fitting into your definition. With any concept, such as woman, or homosexuality, or sexuality, people write about it, or experience it in different ways. You're entitled to write about it, but not to say, This is the way it is.

Sue

From
Contemplative One
To
The Haven
Sent
Wednesday, February 01, 2012 2:12 PM
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Dispelling Common Myths about Asexuality

Dispelling Common Myths about Asexuality

Welcome to the other AA - Asexuals Anonymous During my life I have run into a lot of people who are completely perplexed by me and it seems a lot of them think along the same mistaken lines when it comes to the topic of asexuality. I have decided to write an article, a bit of a wake up call to the world, to let non-asexuals know what asexuality really is, not what the pop psychologists think it is by basing their theories on apathetic amoebas...

1. Asexuality is just another word for celibacy. This is not the case. Celibacy is practiced by a person who generally does feel sexual attraction to others but refrains from sexual activity (often for religious or moral reasons but not always.) Asexuals are people who genuinely have no interest in any sexual activity with another person, regardless of circumstance.

2. Asexuality doesn't really exist in humans. Oh contraire, asexuality has been documented in humans going back to the infamous Kinsey report in the 1950's. Sure, the Kinsey scale only allowed for the measurement of attraction from heterosexual, to ambisexual, to homosexual, but there was a vague mention of asexuals who were labeled in the original research under "X" - meaning they didn't fit the above categories at all. Since then a few studies have been done that suggest that as much as 1 or 2% of the entire world population could be asexual - males and females.

3. Asexuals are just closeted homosexuals who don't want to face up to their sexuality. This one was always a kicker for me, something whispered behind my back since I hit puberty. My best friend through middle and high school insisted I must be a lesbian through an aggravating lack of understanding. I had my fun with this one... gave her the right answer (I'm asexual) before she threw that back in my face, "You are not!" After that I made up a boyfriend, made incredibly ambiguous statements, and told her I was every orientation I could think of just for chuckles. In any event, if I were a lesbian it would have been a lot easier to pretend to be straight if it were the case. Surely if I really wanted to I could have played straight. I could take notes on who the other chicks found appealing and merely tepidly agreed or I could have even reached a little farther out and picked someone whose voice or speech patterns I liked. It wouldn't have been that hard.

4. Asexuals are just people who have repressed their sexuality. Often times religion is tied into this one and I do understand why religion would screw with someone's head. I've seen plenty of churches do massive damage to young people by telling them they can never do anything right (everything's a sin so why even try anymore?) Celibacy is encouraged in many churches but celibacy is different from asexuality. An asexual who finds themselves married still won't want to have sex, that's what defines them, where as a celibate person would likely become sexual after marriage. Most would be quite surprised to know that many asexuals come from nonreligious backgrounds with loving supportive families.

5. Asexuality is the result of a shattered emotional state/ Female asexuals have just had bad experiences with men. Though this may be true in some cases it's certainly not true in all cases. A negative experience doesn't have to predate asexuality. In fact most asexuals probably feel they were born that way, not created later in life to be that way.

6. You just haven't met the right man (or woman) Asexuals are not all against love and relationships. Often times they do have relationships with others but the fact that they don't wish to engage in sex remains the same, regardless of whether they are single or not. Platonic relationships often fill the void for companionship. Should the rest of the world consider these relationships any less serious then the couples who are sexually involved with each other? Personally I don't think so as these couples form the same bonds, the same emotional responses, the same instinct to love and protect each other. A lack of sex doesn't mean a lack of genuine human attachment.

7. Asexuals are abnormal - they have something wrong with them. Not enough studies have been done on asexuals to prove or disprove that they are any different physically from a healthy sexually active person. Hormones (or the lack there of) may be involved but that doesn't mean they need to be "fixed." Asexuals are generally comfortable with their life, few seek to become sexualized (and those that do are automatically slapped with a Sexual Aversion Disorder Label which may have been unjustified.) If sex is not a problem in their lives then there's no reason to fix something that's not broken. If I 'cure' were found for asexuality I'm betting the majority of asexuals would probably ignore it and go on living their lives. Asexuality is after all just a big a part of someone's personality as sexual orientation is to someone who is sexual. It should be noted humans aren't the only ones who show asexual behavior. It's been documented on occasion in other mammals (which makes the psychological standpoint ridiculous.)

8. Asexuals are just naive about sex - if they try it they might like it. Asexuals are rarely naive, if you know any you might find they are remarkably perceptive and well educated on the mechanics of sex. This is easy to understand because a lot of asexuals are perplexed by the energy put forth by our peers that goes into sex or trying to achieve sex. It's not unusual for any of us to innocently and curiously look into it like any other subject of interest. Some asexuals may be capable of having a positive physical reaction to sex itself but that doesn't necessarily mean they will enjoy it or seek more of it. In fact many asexuals do experiment at least once. Some claim sex is mildly fun or interesting in the same way making model airplanes or reading a book is mildly fun or interesting. Generally they go back to the way they were.

9. Asexuals are just severe misanthropes who can't stand people enough to screw one. This may sometimes be true... Heaven knows I'm not particularly fond of a great many people, but that doesn't really enter the sex question. Even misanthropes have their scandalous affairs, driven by the same biological mechanisms that drives everyone else. Hell, even Mencken got married and I can't think of a worse misanthrope then him!

10. Asexuality is just an excuse not to deal with people who are attracted to you. I think sometimes the outside world takes on this attitude but it's not justified. Just because I, or someone else, feels no physical attraction to you, it doesn't mean this should be taken personally. Asexuals rarely feel attraction towards anyone. In fact a great many of them will be shocked to know anyone would feel that way towards them. You can see why many don't like to be touched in any way - they risk giving the wrong impression and that's never a good thing.

http://theophanes.hubpages.com/hub/Dispelling-Common-Myths-about-Asexuality

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migron5764 Gitl Esther Rubenstein
migron5764
Gitl Esther Rubenstein
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HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

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batshua613 Batshua bat Yehonatan
batshua613
Batshua bat Yehonatan
Permalink

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

Parent Comment

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

This sounds like a break off all contact and run in the other direction type situation. Start with "I'm not interested" and work up to not answering his calls at all.

On Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 1:10 PM, Gitl Esther Rubenstein < tincats@...> wrote:

**

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

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jisincla Jim Sinclair
jisincla
Jim Sinclair
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

Parent Comment

This sounds like a break off all contact and run in the other direction type situation. Start with "I'm not interested" and work up to not answering his calls at all.

On Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 1:10 PM, Gitl Esther Rubenstein < tincats@...> wrote:

**

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

On , Batshua bat Yehonatan said:

This sounds like a break off all contact and run in the other direction type situation.  Start with "I'm not interested" and work up to not answering his calls at all.

I agree!!!

1. A person who really loves you should not pressure you to do something you clearly do not want to do.

2. A person with healthy sexuality would want mutuality in a sexual relationship--a partner who reciprocates xyr interest. Healthy and non-abusive sexual people may be sad and disappointed to find out someone they're interested in is not interested in them, but once they do know that, they don't want to force themselves on unwilling people.

3. Any person who does continue to pressure someone for sexual contact after being told the other person doesn't want it is very definitely a potential sex offender in the future, regardless of whether or not xe's already been convicted and registered as a sex offender in the past.

4. You don't have to justify yourself to ANYONE, registered sex offender or otherwise, for not being interested in kissing or having any other personal contact, including personal phone calls. You're perfectly entitled to "just say no" and refuse further discussion, walk away, hang up the phone, delete emails unread, return snail mail unopened, etc.

Is there some reason you're "stuck" continuing to have contact with this person? Do you work together or live in the same apartment building or something?

J8

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frietag
frietag
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Re: HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

Parent Comment

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

i agree w/GER & J8 This guy sounds like he has found someone he can intimidate and control (you!); who he can sire children upon and then molest his offspring. Run!!! Get a restraining order, if you have to. Go to a battered woman's center to get support. If you don't want it, you don't have to endure it.

Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

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paxmoon carolyn moon
paxmoon
carolyn moon
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

Parent Comment

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

sorry for my delay in response but, where did you meet?  and do not have children if you are not called to do so.  If you are not attracted say so and be firm and if he continues cut contact.  He should respect your wishes and not push.  A gentleman honors a woman's request.  And personally I think you can do better.  Be safe and be kind to yourself.

On , Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:
From
Gitl Esther Rubenstein <tincats@...>
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Wednesday, February 15, 2012, 12:10 PM

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery)

A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

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auspiciousbunny
auspiciousbunny
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Greetings HFTHA

Hi Haven for the human amoeba,

Nice to meet you!

I am new to this list. I would describe myself as asexual, although I am a person who has had intimate sexual experiences in relationships before and who sometimes can experience arousal, but not very often. My sexuality does not define my life. In the past, I tried being with men in relationships also also tried dating women. I have always felt as though I do not fit into either category. I just wasn't that interested in sex, although I love people and love having relationships with people.

Hope to meet and learn about you!

AB

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auspiciousbunny Rebecca Schmoyer
auspiciousbunny
Rebecca Schmoyer
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Copy this page and send it to the group with the appropriate answers.

1. Name/age:

2. Gender:

3. Race:

4. Geographic Location:

5. Have you ever had sex? (leave blank if the subject bothers you)

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to?

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality?

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? Do you crave non-sexual romance?

9. Do you have or want children?

10. Do you like ANY human contact?

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality?

12. Do you date or desire companionship? Do you like to kiss?

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex?

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children?

15. When did you first start to realize that you were different from other people in terms of your sexuality?

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auspiciousbunny
auspiciousbunny
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form

You do not have permission to use the following information for research purposes, just in case :0

Copy this page and send it to the group with the appropriate answers.

1. Name/age: Rebecca D. 44

2. Gender: F

3. Race: White

4. Geographic Location: NYC

5. Have you ever had sex? Yes

6. What gender, if any, are you attracted to?

7. Are you open about your non-sexuality? Yes

8. Are you married? And if not, do you ever want to get married? Do you crave non-sexual romance? Not married, do like romance

9. Do you have or want children? No

10. Do you like ANY human contact? Yes but not a lot.

11. Are you bothered by your asexuality? No.

12. Do you date or desire companionship? Do you like to kiss? I don't like to kiss. I have dated in the past but I am not dating now.

13. Have you ruled out possible medical/psychological reasons for your disinterest in sex? Yes

14. Were you sexually molested as a child either by adults or other children? No.

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auspiciousbunny
auspiciousbunny
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Re: I hate my orientation.

Parent Comment

Hello, I was wondering if anyone else feels the way I do. I am an aromantic asexual, and would rather not be. I wish I was at least a romatic asexual. Then I could at least have some kind of committed relationship with a man or woman. That is not the case. I fear that I will be alone for the rest of my life and die alone. I will be known as a crazy cat lady. I wonder if this means that my asexuality is really a disorder because it causes me distress? I have not always felt this way, but lately have. I am Jewish, and I wish I wanted to get married and have kids. I feel so abnormal because I don't want those things. I would rather be lesbian that be asexual. Even that seems more "normal" to me than my asexuality.

Thanks for reading my post. Any comments are welcome.

Hi,

I am in my 40s and have been without a mate for ten years. I tried dating men, and had been in relationships before, but I never felt right.

I think we are all different. I can only speak about myself, but maybe it will offer something, I don't know. It was most helpful for me to try to understand what gives me joy in life. It is so easy when you feel isolated and like you don't fit in to become obsessed with everything that seems wrong, either about yourself or the rest of society. I had to spend time thinking about what I really appreciate in life, and develop the confidence to understand my feelings were right for me.

Otherwise how will we know what we really need/want? Women all experience intense socialization to act like "girls" from the time they are ten years old. It is drummed into our brains and on some level we are all identified with this idea of being a normal girl. I can remember going through puberty and feeling like this was a totally foreign culture that I wanted nothing to do with. But it still affected my image of myself.

Now that I'm older I feel quite a bit more liberated from stereotypes though. I actually enjoy being a pioneer in my own life!

Anyway, hope this was helpful...!

Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:

Hello, I was wondering if anyone else feels the way I do. I am an aromantic asexual, and would rather not be. I wish I was at least a romatic asexual. Then I could at least have some kind of committed relationship with a man or woman. That is not the case. I fear that I will be alone for the rest of my life and die alone. I will be known as a crazy cat lady. I wonder if this means that my asexuality is really a disorder because it causes me distress? I have not always felt this way, but lately have. I am Jewish, and I wish I wanted to get married and have kids. I feel so abnormal because I don't want those things. I would rather be lesbian that be asexual. Even that seems more "normal" to me than my asexuality.

Thanks for reading my post. Any comments are welcome.

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vallabhvekariya Vallabh Vekariya
vallabhvekariya
Vallabh Vekariya
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Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

Parent Comment

sorry for my delay in response but, where did you meet?  and do not have children if you are not called to do so.  If you are not attracted say so and be firm and if he continues cut contact.  He should respect your wishes and not push.  A gentleman honors a woman's request.  And personally I think you can do better.  Be safe and be kind to yourself.

On , Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:
From
Gitl Esther Rubenstein <tincats@...>
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Wednesday, February 15, 2012, 12:10 PM

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery)

A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

i am indain ahemadabad 50

On , carolyn moon said:
From
carolyn moon <Carcar@...>
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Saturday, March 3, 2012, 3:21 AM

sorry for my delay in response but, where did you meet?  and do not have children if you are not called to do so.  If you are not attracted say so and be firm and if he continues cut contact.  He should respect your wishes and not push.  A gentleman honors a woman's request.  And personally I think you can do better.  Be safe and be kind to yourself.

On , Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:
From
Gitl Esther Rubenstein <tincats@...>
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Wednesday, February 15, 2012, 12:10 PM

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

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seffer16@...
seffer16@...
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A relationship issue with a sexual person.

I have a friend, who I will call Bob for the sake of clarity, who has a crush on me. My other friend, Suzie, for clarity's sake, was the one who told me this. I came out to my friends recently as an asexual, and I got a lot of questions about whether or not being in a relationship would change my opinion on sexual relations. It seemed they doubted I could actually be asexual, and that maybe finding the "right person" for me would suddenly make me a sexual being.

In this case, Bob has recently developed a crush on me. Bob is heterosexual, and I know for a fact that sex would be involved if we ended up in a relationship. I don't want that; I honestly don't want sex at all. But Suzie thinks I'm being unreasonable, and that "thinking of sex before you start the relationship is shallow." I feel like I'm just protecting both the interests of me and Bob, but Suzie seems to think I'm refusing to give Bob a chance, or maybe to give sex a chance. Does it seem unreasonable to refuse to enter in a relationship with a sexual, because your sexual interests aren't compatible? Am I being unreasonable?

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seffer16@...
seffer16@...
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Re: HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

Parent Comment

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

This definitely seems like a case where ties should be severed between you two, and possibly quickly, for the good of both of you.

4,764 / 4,883
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aina.jaharah
aina.jaharah
Permalink

Re: HELP! sexual person "loves" me!

Parent Comment

i am indain ahemadabad 50

On , carolyn moon said:
From
carolyn moon <Carcar@...>
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Saturday, March 3, 2012, 3:21 AM

sorry for my delay in response but, where did you meet?  and do not have children if you are not called to do so.  If you are not attracted say so and be firm and if he continues cut contact.  He should respect your wishes and not push.  A gentleman honors a woman's request.  And personally I think you can do better.  Be safe and be kind to yourself.

On , Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:
From
Gitl Esther Rubenstein <tincats@...>
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Wednesday, February 15, 2012, 12:10 PM

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

I have been just watching on this message board for the past month but I have to de-lurk myself to address this. It is imperative that you contact the police on this matter. This is NOT an issue of you being asexual and aromantic when this person harrassing you is a sexual person - it is a matter of your safety! You said this person is a Registered Sex Offender; this means that at least ONE time in his life he TOOK sex when it was not consensual or committed a sexual act on someone unable to give consent. Even if a sexual person asked for help on this I would tell them the same thing. If you think he is lying about the nature of his sexual offense you can very easily look it up, or have the police do so. He is REGISTERED, and that is for the community's benefit; to warn you about the nature of his behavior -- USE IT! If he is ignoring you when you say you are not interested and even telling you he wants to concieve those are RED FLAGS that you need to report. GET AWAY FROM THIS PERSON, NOW and contact police.

Please, I am telling you this because I want you to stay safe.

-AJ

Vallabh Vekariya said:

i am indain ahemadabad 50

On , carolyn moon said:
From
carolyn moon <Carcar@...>
Subject
Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Saturday, March 3, 2012, 3:21 AM

Â

sorry for my delay in response but, where did you meet?  and do not have children if you are not called to do so.  If you are not attracted say so and be firm and if he continues cut contact.  He should respect your wishes and not push.  A gentleman honors a woman's request.  And personally I think you can do better.  Be safe and be kind to yourself.

On , Gitl Esther Rubenstein said:
From
Gitl Esther Rubenstein <tincats@...>
Subject
[Haven for the Human Amoeba] HELP! sexual person "loves" me!
To
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Date
Wednesday, February 15, 2012, 12:10 PM

Â

I don't know what to do! I am very asexual (aromantic asexual); I don't even want to hold hands or kiss! He is pressuring me to kiss him. I know if I give in and do that he will want more & more.

Plus in addition to that, he is a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!!! (criminal attempt to commit aggravated sexual battery) A registered sex offender + an aromantic asexual = a match made in H E L L.

I have tried to tell him I don't think we are right for each other, but he won't listen. I was talking on the phone with him and he said that maybe we should not only do it, but try to see if I conceive! (I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome & may not be able to have kids, which is fine with me!).

Also, I don't believe in "love".

So, in summary, he "loves" me & won't back off. (I also think he is lying about what happened that led them to arrest him). I don't know what to do! Any help is appreciated.

GER

4,765 / 4,883
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goddessatplay Contemplative One
goddessatplay
Contemplative One
Permalink

Asexuality: Is It Normal?

Asexuality: Is It Normal?

The first time I heard of asexuality, it was in a story I read about a British couple who were married, but never felt the urge to have sex. They had never experienced sexual attraction. It was a fascinating read, because sex is everywhere. It’s the reason we exist and the fact is, it’s a whole lot of fun. Since Freud and Kinsey, we tend to believe anyone without a sexual orientation must be repressed or delusional. Asexuality is therefore an impossibility. But it’s more common than we think.

4,766 / 4,883
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mark7984 elviss
mark7984
elviss
Permalink

asexual partner from my country

Hi, How is it possible to find an asexual partner from your country? I mean how can i know there is some one else that can be even my love. Is there any chance or any way? please help me , thanks.

4,767 / 4,883
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havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Permalink

Yahoogroups invitation : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACaAMP, 8/17/2012, 8:00 pm

Reminder from: havenforthehumanamoeba Yahoo! Group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/havenforthehumanamoeba/cal

Yahoogroups invitation : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACaAMP Friday August 17, 2012 8:00 pm - 9:00 pm

Notes: Yahoogroups invitation : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACaAMP

Men showing off in front of their webcams.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACaAMP

All Rights Reserved Copyright � 2012 Yahoo! Inc. http://www.yahoo.com

Privacy Policy: http://privacy.yahoo.com/privacy/us

4,768 / 4,883
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opelchan
opelchan
Permalink

Back to live?

OMG, the HAVEN is revived?! I have got to tell everyone!

4,769 / 4,883
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opelchan
opelchan
Permalink

Re: Greetings HFTHA

Parent Comment

Hi Haven for the human amoeba,

Nice to meet you!

I am new to this list. I would describe myself as asexual, although I am a person who has had intimate sexual experiences in relationships before and who sometimes can experience arousal, but not very often. My sexuality does not define my life. In the past, I tried being with men in relationships also also tried dating women. I have always felt as though I do not fit into either category. I just wasn't that interested in sex, although I love people and love having relationships with people.

Hope to meet and learn about you!

AB

Welcome to the haven!

this is the haven where you can freely express your disinterest in sex and not get a funny look ;)

auspiciousbunny said:

Hi Haven for the human amoeba,

Nice to meet you!

I am new to this list. I would describe myself as asexual, although I am a person who has had intimate sexual experiences in relationships before and who sometimes can experience arousal, but not very often. My sexuality does not define my life. In the past, I tried being with men in relationships also also tried dating women. I have always felt as though I do not fit into either category. I just wasn't that interested in sex, although I love people and love having relationships with people.

Hope to meet and learn about you!

AB

4,770 / 4,883
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havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Permalink

File - Am I Asexual?

Am I Asexual?

There are differences among people who identify as asexual, chiefly among them the presence or absence of a sex drive or romantic attraction. Some experience only one of these, while others experience both, and still others neither. There is disagreement as to which of these configurations can genuinely be described as asexual. While a number of people believe all four variations qualify, many others believe that to be asexual, one must lack a sex drive, romantic attraction, or both.

The sex drive of those asexuals who have one is usually not directed at anything, and is only an urge for sexual stimulation or release; the exception is those asexuals who are also fetishists, whose sex drive is focused on the fetish object rather than a person (many fetishists have no desire for other people, but don't necessarily identify as asexual although they technically are). In either case, the level of sex drive can range from weak to strong, and from rare to frequent. Some asexuals experience sexual feelings but have no desire to act on them, while others seek sexual release through sexual contact.

Some asexuals use a classification system developed (and then retired) by the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, one of the major online asexual communities (abbreviated as AVEN). In this system, asexuals are divided into types A through D: a Type A asexual has a sex drive but no romantic attraction, a Type B has romantic attraction but no sex drive, a Type C has both, and a Type D neither. The categories are not meant to be entirely discrete or set in stone; one's type can change, or one can be on the border between two types. Note that AVEN itself no longer uses this system, on the basis that it is too exclusive, but a number of asexuals still feel it is a useful tool for explaining their orientation.

Note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity; many asexuals do have sex, and most celibates are not asexual.

4,771 / 4,883
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havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Permalink

File - Am I Asexual?

Am I Asexual?

There are differences among people who identify as asexual, chiefly among them the presence or absence of a sex drive or romantic attraction. Some experience only one of these, while others experience both, and still others neither. There is disagreement as to which of these configurations can genuinely be described as asexual. While a number of people believe all four variations qualify, many others believe that to be asexual, one must lack a sex drive, romantic attraction, or both.

The sex drive of those asexuals who have one is usually not directed at anything, and is only an urge for sexual stimulation or release; the exception is those asexuals who are also fetishists, whose sex drive is focused on the fetish object rather than a person (many fetishists have no desire for other people, but don't necessarily identify as asexual although they technically are). In either case, the level of sex drive can range from weak to strong, and from rare to frequent. Some asexuals experience sexual feelings but have no desire to act on them, while others seek sexual release through sexual contact.

Some asexuals use a classification system developed (and then retired) by the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, one of the major online asexual communities (abbreviated as AVEN). In this system, asexuals are divided into types A through D: a Type A asexual has a sex drive but no romantic attraction, a Type B has romantic attraction but no sex drive, a Type C has both, and a Type D neither. The categories are not meant to be entirely discrete or set in stone; one's type can change, or one can be on the border between two types. Note that AVEN itself no longer uses this system, on the basis that it is too exclusive, but a number of asexuals still feel it is a useful tool for explaining their orientation.

Note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity; many asexuals do have sex, and most celibates are not asexual.

4,772 / 4,883
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havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Permalink

File - Am I Asexual?

Am I Asexual?

There are differences among people who identify as asexual, chiefly among them the presence or absence of a sex drive or romantic attraction. Some experience only one of these, while others experience both, and still others neither. There is disagreement as to which of these configurations can genuinely be described as asexual. While a number of people believe all four variations qualify, many others believe that to be asexual, one must lack a sex drive, romantic attraction, or both.

The sex drive of those asexuals who have one is usually not directed at anything, and is only an urge for sexual stimulation or release; the exception is those asexuals who are also fetishists, whose sex drive is focused on the fetish object rather than a person (many fetishists have no desire for other people, but don't necessarily identify as asexual although they technically are). In either case, the level of sex drive can range from weak to strong, and from rare to frequent. Some asexuals experience sexual feelings but have no desire to act on them, while others seek sexual release through sexual contact.

Some asexuals use a classification system developed (and then retired) by the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, one of the major online asexual communities (abbreviated as AVEN). In this system, asexuals are divided into types A through D: a Type A asexual has a sex drive but no romantic attraction, a Type B has romantic attraction but no sex drive, a Type C has both, and a Type D neither. The categories are not meant to be entirely discrete or set in stone; one's type can change, or one can be on the border between two types. Note that AVEN itself no longer uses this system, on the basis that it is too exclusive, but a number of asexuals still feel it is a useful tool for explaining their orientation.

Note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity; many asexuals do have sex, and most celibates are not asexual.

4,773 / 4,883
Permalink
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Permalink

File - Am I Asexual?

Am I Asexual?

There are differences among people who identify as asexual, chiefly among them the presence or absence of a sex drive or romantic attraction. Some experience only one of these, while others experience both, and still others neither. There is disagreement as to which of these configurations can genuinely be described as asexual. While a number of people believe all four variations qualify, many others believe that to be asexual, one must lack a sex drive, romantic attraction, or both.

The sex drive of those asexuals who have one is usually not directed at anything, and is only an urge for sexual stimulation or release; the exception is those asexuals who are also fetishists, whose sex drive is focused on the fetish object rather than a person (many fetishists have no desire for other people, but don't necessarily identify as asexual although they technically are). In either case, the level of sex drive can range from weak to strong, and from rare to frequent. Some asexuals experience sexual feelings but have no desire to act on them, while others seek sexual release through sexual contact.

Some asexuals use a classification system developed (and then retired) by the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, one of the major online asexual communities (abbreviated as AVEN). In this system, asexuals are divided into types A through D: a Type A asexual has a sex drive but no romantic attraction, a Type B has romantic attraction but no sex drive, a Type C has both, and a Type D neither. The categories are not meant to be entirely discrete or set in stone; one's type can change, or one can be on the border between two types. Note that AVEN itself no longer uses this system, on the basis that it is too exclusive, but a number of asexuals still feel it is a useful tool for explaining their orientation.

Note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity; many asexuals do have sex, and most celibates are not asexual.

4,774 / 4,883
Permalink
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Permalink

File - Am I Asexual?

Am I Asexual?

There are differences among people who identify as asexual, chiefly among them the presence or absence of a sex drive or romantic attraction. Some experience only one of these, while others experience both, and still others neither. There is disagreement as to which of these configurations can genuinely be described as asexual. While a number of people believe all four variations qualify, many others believe that to be asexual, one must lack a sex drive, romantic attraction, or both.

The sex drive of those asexuals who have one is usually not directed at anything, and is only an urge for sexual stimulation or release; the exception is those asexuals who are also fetishists, whose sex drive is focused on the fetish object rather than a person (many fetishists have no desire for other people, but don't necessarily identify as asexual although they technically are). In either case, the level of sex drive can range from weak to strong, and from rare to frequent. Some asexuals experience sexual feelings but have no desire to act on them, while others seek sexual release through sexual contact.

Some asexuals use a classification system developed (and then retired) by the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, one of the major online asexual communities (abbreviated as AVEN). In this system, asexuals are divided into types A through D: a Type A asexual has a sex drive but no romantic attraction, a Type B has romantic attraction but no sex drive, a Type C has both, and a Type D neither. The categories are not meant to be entirely discrete or set in stone; one's type can change, or one can be on the border between two types. Note that AVEN itself no longer uses this system, on the basis that it is too exclusive, but a number of asexuals still feel it is a useful tool for explaining their orientation.

Note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity; many asexuals do have sex, and most celibates are not asexual.

4,775 / 4,883
Permalink
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com
Permalink

File - Am I Asexual?

Am I Asexual?

There are differences among people who identify as asexual, chiefly among them the presence or absence of a sex drive or romantic attraction. Some experience only one of these, while others experience both, and still others neither. There is disagreement as to which of these configurations can genuinely be described as asexual. While a number of people believe all four variations qualify, many others believe that to be asexual, one must lack a sex drive, romantic attraction, or both.

The sex drive of those asexuals who have one is usually not directed at anything, and is only an urge for sexual stimulation or release; the exception is those asexuals who are also fetishists, whose sex drive is focused on the fetish object rather than a person (many fetishists have no desire for other people, but don't necessarily identify as asexual although they technically are). In either case, the level of sex drive can range from weak to strong, and from rare to frequent. Some asexuals experience sexual feelings but have no desire to act on them, while others seek sexual release through sexual contact.

Some asexuals use a classification system developed (and then retired) by the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, one of the major online asexual communities (abbreviated as AVEN). In this system, asexuals are divided into types A through D: a Type A asexual has a sex drive but no romantic attraction, a Type B has romantic attraction but no sex drive, a Type C has both, and a Type D neither. The categories are not meant to be entirely discrete or set in stone; one's type can change, or one can be on the border between two types. Note that AVEN itself no longer uses this system, on the basis that it is too exclusive, but a number of asexuals still feel it is a useful tool for explaining their orientation.

Note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity; many asexuals do have sex, and most celibates are not asexual.