Haven for the Human Amoeba

OK I am going to change the subject here away from sex and on to something else. I am wondering how others on this list find closeness. For many years I had a best friend that I shared everything with. She and I did everything together for many years. Our relationship was more like sisters than anything else. She died about 3 years ago and I miss having that closeness. How do you guys and gals find relationships that are close... like family.

I concur.  There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Funny you should post this. I live with my best friend. We consider each other sisters. It's difficult sometimes because I would be happy living with her for the rest of my life...it's exactly what I'm looking for as far as relationship goes. She is sexual though and is actively looking for a boyfriend. I haven't figured out how to handle the change that is eventually going to come in our relationship yet.

I also have Aspergers syndrome so I'm not sure exactly how to make friends...but basically what I do is get to know one person at a time when I'm at a party or whatnot. As far as meeting people, I don't worry about whether they are sexual or asexual as long as they accept that I'm asexual if/when it comes up in conversation.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

Stephanie

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

OK I am going to change the subject here away from sex and on to something else. I am wondering how others on this list find closeness. For many years I had a best friend that I shared everything with. She and I did everything together for many years. Our relationship was more like sisters than anything else. She died about 3 years ago and I miss having that closeness. How do you guys and gals find relationships that are close... like family.

I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

I concur. There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

No, its true.  I have worked with and have known abused women.  It happens.  Look it up.  However, the stimulation leaves the victim feeling more shame and guilt.  The same with children.  Our bodies are capable of reactions to stimuli even if it is not welcome.   Doesn't mean one welcomes it.



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:56 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

I concur.  There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 3:03:48 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Mon, October 25, 2010 10:22:28 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74 Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

I looked up this site and found out a bit more. It sounds like it might be for one thing, women who had foreplay with the man and then changed her mind and so got raped and reached orgasm, or others as a reponse to sex with a desriable man, even thought forced. Well, well.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090323214325AAAbJCh

Yes, I know about the concept of the reflexive physical response and children having an unwanted response. I was the one who mentioned it. But getting turned on is not the same as having an orgasm.

No, its true. I have worked with and have known abused women. It happens. Look it up. However, the stimulation leaves the victim feeling more shame and guilt. The same with children. Our bodies are capable of reactions to stimuli even if it is not welcome. Doesn't mean one welcomes it.



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

I concur. There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Involuntary physical responses can be experienced by anyone. I'm not saying they are a part of asexuality all the time, just that they happen.

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:56 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

I concur. There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 3:03:48 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Mon, October 25, 2010 10:22:28 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74 Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

I think there are better online references concerning this than yahoo answers....

http://books.google.com/books?id=2Q2KKyqBz38C&pg=PA237&dq=orgasm+and+rape&hl=en&ei=KZTHTOXWOMyrnAfOjNWFAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CDIQ6AEwAjgK#v=onepage&q=orgasm%20and%20rape&f=false

 I looked up this site and found out a bit more. It sounds like it might be for one thing, women who had foreplay with the man and then changed her mind and so got raped and reached orgasm, or others as a reponse to sex with a desriable man, even thought forced. Well, well.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090323214325AAAbJCh

Yes, I know about the concept of the reflexive physical response and children having an unwanted response. I was the one who mentioned it. But getting turned on is not the same as having an orgasm.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 8:55 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

No, its true.  I have worked with and have known abused women.  It happens.  Look it up.  However, the stimulation leaves the victim feeling more shame and guilt.  The same with children.  Our bodies are capable of reactions to stimuli even if it is not welcome.   Doesn't mean one welcomes it.

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 7:47:04 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:56 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

I concur.  There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 3:03:48 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Mon, October 25, 2010 10:22:28 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74 Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Stephanie, I was just commenting on the article, that's all.

It's one article. It doesn't explaint everything there is to know about feelings, and sex drives, etc/

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

I concur. There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Who are you to decide what is relevant and what is not?????  You seem to be getting a bit snippy.  If you don't like and or agree with what someone is posting just click and delete and skip the lecture.

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

I concur.  There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

I am not close to any member of my family really - its odd.  I love them because of the family ties, but I really don't like them as people.

I am a great friend though.  My best friend I have known for 30 years almost.  I consider my friends like family, but as I grow older I feel they don't feel the same.  I guess I have known this for some time.  They'll do backflips for their families or a man and at times it angers me.  There are times I feel I am not valued or taken advantage of.  At times, its so easy for my friends to forget, ignore or tossed aside.  Maybe its an American value to view friendship as a lesser connection than other ties - especially when it comes to blood or sexual mate ties.

Does anyone know the poem 'The Thousandth Man'?  This is what I long for - I still seek someone like this in my own life.

OK I am going to change the subject here away from sex and on to something else. I am wondering how others on this list find closeness. For many years I had a best friend that I shared everything with. She and I did everything together for many years. Our relationship was more like sisters than anything else. She died about 3 years ago and I miss having that closeness. How do you guys and gals find relationships that are close... like family.

I'm sorry you feel so offended by my wanting a list about asexuality to be about asexuality. It was my mistake in signing up and expecting the list to discuss topics related to its stated purpose. Please feel free to correct me on this matter and explain the list's real purpose and I will decide whether I actually still have an interest.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Who are you to decide what is relevant and what is not????? You seem to be getting a bit snippy. If you don't like and or agree with what someone is posting just click and delete and skip the lecture.

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 2:48 AM

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 8:47:04 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:56 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

I concur. There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 3:03:48 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Mon, October 25, 2010 10:22:28 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74 Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

It is about asexuality.  But if people talk about sexuality that is not so totally unrelated.  Just lighten up a bit.   To be honest I can't stand sex at all, and talk about organisms really turns me off.

Again, if you don't like what someone is saying or can't relate click and delete.  You don't have to read every post.

I'm sorry you feel so offended by my wanting a list about asexuality to be about asexuality. It was my mistake in signing up and expecting the list to discuss topics related to its stated purpose. Please feel free to correct me on this matter and explain the list's real purpose and I will decide whether I actually still have an interest.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Who are you to decide what is relevant and what is not?????  You seem to be getting a bit snippy.  If you don't like and or agree with what someone is posting just click and delete and skip the lecture.

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

I concur.  There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74

Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

I'm not here to argue. I'm here to discuss topics that are actually relevant to asexuality. If people insist on talking about sex, and particularly about sexual violence, they can at least place a warning in the subject line, as is the convention at AVEN, so that those of us who would prefer not to read them know to avoid them. If that doesn't happen, don't be surprised if I say something about the direction the list is going.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

It is about asexuality. But if people talk about sexuality that is not so totally unrelated. Just lighten up a bit. To be honest I can't stand sex at all, and talk about organisms really turns me off.

Again, if you don't like what someone is saying or can't relate click and delete. You don't have to read every post.

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 3:24 AM

I'm sorry you feel so offended by my wanting a list about asexuality to be about asexuality. It was my mistake in signing up and expecting the list to discuss topics related to its stated purpose. Please feel free to correct me on this matter and explain the list's real purpose and I will decide whether I actually still have an interest.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Rene Bataglia <rene789@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 11:02:29 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Who are you to decide what is relevant and what is not????? You seem to be getting a bit snippy. If you don't like and or agree with what someone is posting just click and delete and skip the lecture.

On 27 Oct 2010, Stephanie Silberstein said:

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 2:48 AM

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 8:47:04 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:56 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

I concur. There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 3:03:48 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@sympatico.ca>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Mon, October 25, 2010 10:22:28 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74 Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

No ppl should NOT put me down or make me feel weird for being repulsed by sex, but they do anyway. They are repulsed that I am repulsed! Maybe they are all pervs? :(

First and foremost (in general, for society) sex is about reproduction. It's what enable us to exist. Even the article mentions this, that some asexuals bear children and that is one way asexuals continue to exist. The other way is for each genetic, or 'just is' kind of asexual, or the one who believes culture has a part in it, to discover it on their own, that they are asexual.

There are all kinds of asexual people out there, including people who never feel anything physical sexually, or people who are repulsed by the thought.

If you think of heterosexual people, there is a wide range of individuals who would say that's what they are, and it would include Gandhi and even people like Russell Williams from Canada, who just got his high military rank taken away and got sent to jail, for stealing teens panties, videotaping himself playing with the underwear, and killing two women. That's not what heterosexuality is, ideally, but my point is, there are all kinds of people in any of these categories.

If a person here thinks they're weird, maybe they are, I don't know. Maybe they're putting themselves down unecessarily. Being repulsed by something is not big deal. People shouldn't make you try and like it if you don't want to. And they shouldn't try and make you feel weird.

Maybe the unifying part of asexuality is lack of sexual desire and attraction, as Stephanie says, but with variations in such things as drive, or physical feelings.

Sue

From

Stephanie Silberstein

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 2:54 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Exactly. I don't personally feel repulsed, but I have zero interest. It is presumptuous, to say the least, that being capable of a physical reaction and an interest in a physical reaction are one and the same.

Asexuals differ in their attitudes towards sex but are united in their lack of sexual desire, interest and attraction. I'm disappointed in how many people seem to want to paint us as just a "different kind of sexual" when we are not sexual in the first place.

---

From

troi_tribble <freewaydog@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 2:17:24 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Re: Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

What about "weirdos" like me that feel repulsed by the whole sex thing?

I like close friends & family.

OK I am going to change the subject here away from sex and on to something else. I am wondering how others on this list find closeness. For many years I had a best friend that I shared everything with. She and I did everything together for many years. Our relationship was more like sisters than anything else. She died about 3 years ago and I miss having that closeness. How do you guys and gals find relationships that are close... like family.

Stephanie   Your relationship with your friend sounds like what I had. Don't worry too much about your friend being sexual if it is like my friend as when she was dating we still remained close. Unfortunately for her she seemed to have a thing for married men. One of them became my friend and was like a brother to me for many years. Mary

Funny you should post this. I live with my best friend. We consider each other sisters. It's difficult sometimes because I would be happy living with her for the rest of my life...it's exactly what I'm looking for as far as relationship goes. She is sexual though and is actively looking for a boyfriend. I haven't figured out how to handle the change that is eventually going to come in our relationship yet.

I also have Aspergers syndrome so I'm not sure exactly how to make friends...but basically what I do is get to know one person at a time when I'm at a party or whatnot. As far as meeting people, I don't worry about whether they are sexual or asexual as long as they accept that I'm asexual if/when it comes up in conversation.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

Stephanie

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

OK I am going to change the subject here away from sex and on to something else. I am wondering how others on this list find closeness. For many years I had a best friend that I shared everything with. She and I did everything together for many years. Our relationship was more like sisters than anything else. She died about 3 years ago and I miss having that closeness. How do you guys and gals find relationships that are close... like family.

Stephanie,

I can agree with putting a Topic title for emails, however, I hope members of this group can connect more than just discussing asexuality.  We are all dimensional beings so just discussing asexuality would eventually get ho-hum.

I apologize to you if any of my emails offended you.  It wasn't my intention.

cm

I'm not here to argue. I'm here to discuss topics that are actually relevant to asexuality. If people insist on talking about sex, and particularly about sexual violence, they can at least place a warning in the subject line, as is the convention at AVEN, so that those of us who would prefer not to read them know to avoid them. If that doesn't happen, don't be surprised if I say something about the direction the list is going.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

It is about asexuality.  But if people talk about sexuality that is not so totally unrelated.  Just lighten up a bit.   To be honest I can't stand sex at all, and talk about organisms really turns me off.

Again, if you don't like what someone is saying or can't relate click and delete.  You don't have to read every post.

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 3:24 AM

I'm sorry you feel so offended by my wanting a list about asexuality to be about asexuality. It was my mistake in signing up and expecting the list to discuss topics related to its stated purpose. Please feel free to correct me on this matter and explain the list's real purpose and I will decide whether I actually still have an interest.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Rene Bataglia <rene789@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 11:02:29 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Who are you to decide what is relevant and what is not?????  You seem to be getting a bit snippy.  If you don't like and or agree with what someone is posting just click and delete and skip the lecture.

On 27 Oct 2010, Stephanie Silberstein said:

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 2:48 AM

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@sympatico.ca>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 8:47:04 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:56 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

I concur.  There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 3:03:48 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@...m

Sent

Mon, October 25, 2010 10:22:28 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74 Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

I saw this today, about Clarence Thomas, from the sexual harassment case many years ago. The article mentions him being asexual, or should that be "asexual."

I suspect McEwan is using the common misconception of asexuality, in which a person thinks that refraining from having sex makes someone asexual. You don't "become" asexual any more than you become any other sexual orientation.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

 I saw this today, about Clarence Thomas, from the sexual harassment case many years ago. The article mentions him being asexual, or should that be "asexual."

Tim Mak: Clarence Thomas, porn fan and bully By Tim Mak National Post October 27, 2010 http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2010/10/27/tim-mak-clarence-thomas-porn-fan-and-bully/#more-16108

I suspect McEwan is using the common misconception of asexuality, in which a person thinks that refraining from having sex makes someone asexual. You don't "become" asexual any more than you become any other sexual orientation.

True, unless you incur some kind of alteration to your brain.

It's really hard to make sense of how pornography addiction can be consistent with asexuality.

J8

Hi Carolyn,

I agree, we don't want to be one-dimensional. I was upset last night because it seems that for the past week or so, about 90 percent of the posts were either about sex or about hormones. I was hoping this list would be a refuge from all that, as I hear enough of it in my daily life LOL.

You didn't do anything to offend me, no worries.

Stephanie

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

Stephanie,

I can agree with putting a Topic title for emails, however, I hope members of this group can connect more than just discussing asexuality. We are all dimensional beings so just discussing asexuality would eventually get ho-hum.

I apologize to you if any of my emails offended you. It wasn't my intention.

cm

I'm not here to argue. I'm here to discuss topics that are actually relevant to asexuality. If people insist on talking about sex, and particularly about sexual violence, they can at least place a warning in the subject line, as is the convention at AVEN, so that those of us who would prefer not to read them know to avoid them. If that doesn't happen, don't be surprised if I say something about the direction the list is going.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

It is about asexuality. But if people talk about sexuality that is not so totally unrelated. Just lighten up a bit. To be honest I can't stand sex at all, and talk about organisms really turns me off.

Again, if you don't like what someone is saying or can't relate click and delete. You don't have to read every post.

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 3:24 AM

I'm sorry you feel so offended by my wanting a list about asexuality to be about asexuality. It was my mistake in signing up and expecting the list to discuss topics related to its stated purpose. Please feel free to correct me on this matter and explain the list's real purpose and I will decide whether I actually still have an interest.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Rene Bataglia <rene789@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 11:02:29 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Who are you to decide what is relevant and what is not????? You seem to be getting a bit snippy. If you don't like and or agree with what someone is posting just click and delete and skip the lecture.

On 27 Oct 2010, Stephanie Silberstein said:

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Date

Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 2:48 AM

That's completely beside the point that either Carolyn or I was making. This conversation has gone far astray. Why are we talking so much about sex on a list about asexuality???

The point I have tried to make is that a person can be asexual yet still be physically capable of arousal. This is the central point that seems to bother a lot of sexual people, judging both from this conversation and a similar conversation on my Facebook page.

Asexual does NOT mean "physically incapable of sex" any more than homosexual means "physically incapable of sex with an opposite gender partner".

In other words, as I said in my last post, asexual is not a different kind of sexual. So please stop bringing up issues that are absolutely irrelevant to asexuality such as sex being required for procreation or the reactions of children to being molested.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 8:47:04 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation



I've never actually heard of that, of rape victims having an orgasm. Sounds like a myth to me, one of those put out by men to uphold their view that women really want it.

----- Original Message -----

From

carolyn moon

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:56 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

I concur. There have been rape victims who have had orgasms during their assault....a physical reaction doesn't mean it is welcomed or wanted.

---

From

Stephanie Silberstein <stephanie_m_silberstein@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Tue, October 26, 2010 3:03:48 AM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Having an involuntary physical response has nothing to do with asexuality whatsoever. If someone brushes up against me or I choose to touch myself, of course I'm going to have a physical response. But I have no interest in either myself or anyone else touching me and causing a physical response.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk

---

From

Sue McPherson <s.a.mcpherson@...>

To

havenforthehumanamoeba@yahoogroups.com

Sent

Mon, October 25, 2010 10:22:28 PM

Subject

Re: [Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Interesting article. It talks about the complete lack of sexual desire or attraction, but it ignores the automatic physical response humans can have. It's how children can be seduced, and when their body involuntarily responds to touch, they may end up feeling guilty.

It is another aspect of asexuality, about one's body not feeling any sexual drive (instinct) at all.

----- Original Message -----

From

Contemplative One

To

The Haven

Sent

Sunday, October 24, 2010 11:15 PM

Subject

[Haven for the Human Amoeba] Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation By Jesse Bering Oct 29, 2009 04:15 PM 74 Some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals....

Read remainder of article here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=are-there-asexuals-among-us-on-the-2009-10-29

Yes, from reading the article again it sounds more like it should say celibacy instead of asexuality. Anyway, these descriptions of Clarence were made by her, so are just her interpretations of what he is going through.

I suspect McEwan is using the common misconception of asexuality, in which a person thinks that refraining from having sex makes someone asexual. You don't "become" asexual any more than you become any other sexual orientation.

I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without hope life is not worth living. And you... and you... and you... gotta give 'em hope. - Harvey Milk



I saw this today, about Clarence Thomas, from the sexual harassment case many years ago. The article mentions him being asexual, or should that be "asexual."

Tim Mak: Clarence Thomas, porn fan and bully By Tim Mak National Post October 27, 2010 http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2010/10/27/tim-mak-clarence-thomas-porn-fan-and-bully/#more-16108

Yes, it is strange, although that subject did appear in one of the articles on asexuality.

Except in this story, Clarence is said to have done the porn thing, then became asexual. http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2010/10/27/tim-mak-clarence-thomas-porn-fan-and-bully/#more-16108

As to whether anyone can 'become' asexual, I don't see why not. You can believe in genetics, or innateness of asexuality, but like homosexuality, one isn't born knowing. Regardless of one's sexuality or asexuality, one grows into it. It's cultural and not just biological.

Recall Simone de Beauvoir, who wrote One is not born a woman, but becomes one. Same thing with sexuality or asexuality. It's there, in some form, but it takes being in the world to bring it out.

It's really hard to make sense of how pornography addiction can be consistent with asexuality.