Haven for the Human Amoeba

Never had a boyfriend?

How do people go about dating? Do people still kiss thir partners? Its not sometihing people openly express so its hard to meet others. Do people generally consider themselves bisexual?

THOUGHTS PLEASE???

Good Morning everyone,

I am new here and just wanted to say hi. I am looking forward to meeting many new people. I am married (20 years) and have 2 children. I discovered I was asexual about 4 years ago but only really accepted me for me about 2 years ago. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders since I discovered sites like this and I am happy to belong. My relationship with my husband is a struggle but we are trying and for right now that is all that matters. I look forward to chatting and having some great conversations here. Take care and have a great day!

ASEXUALS: Who Are They and Why Are They Important? We have so much more to learn about asexuality Published on December 23, 2009

Asexuality poses a challenge to some of our most fundamental beliefs about humans and their feelings. Yet, on this topic, we are mostly ignoramuses. Many Americans regard the prevailing assumptions about sexand sexuality as universal. They don't appreciate the ways that these ideas have changed over the course of history. Even within the scientific community, the study of asexuality as an orientation is starkly underdeveloped.

Read the entire article here:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/200912/asexuals-who-are-they-and-why-are-they-important

Hi there,

My name is Rene and I live in Denver, CO will be moving to Texas.  I'm single, 54, never been married.   I'm celibate but would like to get married, but would want a celibate marriage.

I was wondering if you would like to talk on the phone?  I could call you or vice versa.  I have free long distance.  You can email me directly at rene789@...

Rene

Good Morning everyone,

I am new here and just wanted to say hi. I am looking forward to meeting many new people. I am married (20 years) and have 2 children. I discovered I was asexual about 4 years ago but only really accepted me for me about 2 years ago. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders since I discovered sites like this and I am happy to belong. My relationship with my husband is a struggle but we are trying and for right now that is all that matters. I look forward to chatting and having some great conversations here. Take care and have a great day!

I am a new member also. Andre from France

Hi Nicole,

I enjoyed reading your old post, because I agree with all of it. This really hit home with me:

"It's like they think sex is something they're owed, to a point where a relationship doesn't count unless they get it."

I found that to be the case with all the single men I have ever met. The child in the adult body is a good description of these people I knew. When they find out that I am not into sex, they don't even want to be friends at all anymore, I never hear from them again, and it's like the friendship meant absolutely nothing. So, I have to admit that I do harbor a little bit of resentment towards the "normals" for that reason.

I call them "normals" because they always respond to my asexuality as if I have a problem. One so called "spiritually oriented" dude said that I have a "blockage", of corse meaning my root chakra. A lot of what I have accomplished in my life, and my good health and physical strength testifies that my root chakra is working just fine.

I wouldn't say that I like Mid Eastern music in it's pure form, but I do like what they call world fusion. You might listen to my CDs, and find a digeridoo being played along with the Mid Eastern music :-) Most of the music I listen to has some vocals, but no lyrics. I like Jean Micheal Jare, Cybertribe, Klangwelt, Tangerine Dream, Delerium, Bryon El, Redshift, Guido Negrazsus and much more that share similar musical flavors and charactor.

My hobbies include lapidary (and foraying for most of the materials - yes, cage free organic rocks and minerals!), art, jewelery making, electronics, hiking, gardening, foraying for wild edibles, fishing, and mushroom cultivation. I don't know if I should really call the last 4 hobbies. I think they are more survival oriented IMO.

Since vegetarianism was mentioned in this thread, that is another one of my pet peeves. I respect the choices that others make, and I expect to be treated the same way. I resent vegetarians that try to make me feel as if I am a bloody criminal for eating meat. I have actually read somewhere that Spinach cries out in pain when it is harvested, so that makes vegetarians cerial killers (ha ha!)! We all have bloody teeth and claws, even if it's beet juice stains on your hands. I do not wish to make anything suffer unnescissarily though. I kill swiftly and as cleanly as possible, and only for good reason (eating or weeding), and not for sport.

Not social justice from where I’m standing by Chally on 1.17.2011 · 35 comments in GLBTQ,LGBT,Sex

I’ve been having a bit of a think about how asexuality is addressed in a social justice context. Well, to the extent to which it is addressed. I’ve been particularly troubled by how it gets manipulated as a politicised tool by sexual people at the expense of asexual people.

I almost always see asexuality brought up as a negative and inaccurately. For example, a disabled character or character of colour in a television show might be denied sexuality or coded as non-sexual. Someone critiquing this portrayal from a social justice perspective might condemn it as “asexualising” or some such, as though asexuality is an oppressive tool rather than an orientation.

As best I can gather, a good part of equating asexuality with the negative, with absence, comes from a skewing of feminist ideas around promoting sexual agency and fulfillment. I think a lot of feminists are operating under the idea that women in particular have been denied sexual pleasure, expression, and fulfillment, so encouraging everyone to stop being prudes and be sexual on their own terms is always the way to go. But the thing is, those terms, what happiness around sexuality looks like, is not the same for everyone. Models of proper sexuality still perpetuate the idea that “healthy” or “good” sexuality has to look a particular way, and that isn’t a way that’s going to fit every sexual assault survivor, or queer person, or, well, any individual, really.

The upshot here is that asexual people get hit particularly hard as being repressed or messed up, standing in the way of a singular social justice narrative around sexuality. I don’t want to set up sex positivity and asexuality as oppositional; I want to point to how an image of an appropriate sexuality leads to a widely misunderstood and scoffed at group becoming even more so. I mean, I thought the idea of an appropriate way of doing sexuality is what we’re trying to fight against, right? Perpetuating ideas of asexuality as fake, as always a result of trauma, the domain of prudes who just have to come out of their shells, and so forth, doesn’t look like positivity or justice to me.

But then, I don’t think asexual issues are seen as feminist issues (by sexual feminists, that is), where they’re acknowledged as existing. And that’s really sad, because helping along some people by pushing others out of the narrative does everyone a disservice. Striking close to any sexual feminist’s heart should be thinking on breaking down ideas of asexual people being seen as inevitably sad and lonely. Why is having sex, or being in a sexual relationship, such a marked site of societal anxiety? Examining how asexual people fit into a society shaped around living in accordance with sustained monogamous romantic/sexual partnerships (just to note, asexuality and romantic orientation are not mutally exclusive for all asexual people, and some asexual people do have sex) should be where the feminist analysis is at.

Shame around sexuality, and unjust ways of dealing with sexuality, are all around us, but I don’t think a feminism that promotes comfort with sexuality should be about putting asexual folks right back in that box.

I, as a person on the sexual side of things, am feeling a bit awkward being a person in a dominant group pontificating on behalf of a non-dominant group, so you should have some links on pieces by asexual people on the subject of asexuality and social justice, over at Charlie the Unicorn, Ace Detective, Hypomnemata, Writing From Factor X, and Primary Decomposition.

Feministe:  http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/01/17/not-social-justice-from-where-i%E2%80%99m-standing/

Hi, I'm a new member, Karen, from St. Louis, MO. A friend on another site pointed this group out to me. I'm surprised and happy to find others like myself in a group here. Wow. After 49 years of going around in life feeling like a "freak of nature," I'm ready to be part of the broad spectrum of human sexuality. Even if this part of the spectrum is on one end, and it may be the "lightest end," hey, Love and Light. It's all right.

I am a new member also. Andre from France

http://nutazuxe.110mb.com/qypaboja.html Be a rPo nnlioe

Hi, newbie. From Alabama. (NOT redneck, just in case anyone wondered)

I am a new member also. Andre from France

Btw, I'm John.

I am a new member also. Andre from France

Hi. John from Alabama (not a redneck) Christian, asexual celibate lonely

I think that pretty much sums me up.

I am a 30 year old hetero virgin male. I have had health issues since childhood and chronic health issues since 16. This has made me pretty shy and introverted with the ladies. I have never smoked, drank, or done drugs. I cut out red meat at 19 and all animal foods at 20. I have pretty much been a shut-in since around 22, doing alot of juice therapy and periodic fasts. It gets pretty lonely at times. I believe in karma/reincarnation and look foward to continue cleansing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I haven't gotten much support from family or friends in fact just ridicule and discouragement for my new worldview. I'm looking for some penpals/friends and maybe meetup someday.

http://www.womanthouartgod.com/celibacy.php

This is spam. My account was hacked as well, sending addresses on my list spam links too, just to warn you. I had to change my yahoo p/w. BTW, how come nobody posts for real in here?

http://nuta zuxe.110mb.com/qypaboja.html Be a rPo nnlioe

Hi and welcome to the group. Zax from Toledo.

I am a 30 year old hetero virgin male. I have had health issues since childhood and chronic health issues since 16. This has made me pretty shy and introverted with the ladies. I have never smoked, drank, or done drugs. I cut out red meat at 19 and all animal foods at 20. I have pretty much been a shut-in since around 22, doing alot of juice therapy and periodic fasts. It gets pretty lonely at times. I believe in karma/reincarnation and look foward to continue cleansing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I haven't gotten much support from family or friends in fact just ridicule and discouragement for my new worldview. I'm looking for some penpals/friends and maybe meetup someday.

Hi Karen. Welcome to the group.

Hi, I'm a new member, Karen, from St. Louis, MO. A friend on another site pointed this group out to me. I'm surprised and happy to find others like myself in a group here. Wow. After 49 years of going around in life feeling like a "freak of nature," I'm ready to be part of the broad spectrum of human sexuality. Even if this part of the spectrum is on one end, and it may be the "lightest end," hey, Love and Light. It's all right.

André said:

I am a new member also. Andre from France

Hi everybody. Im here because im asexual . I wana know u all r asex too? u know in the real world i couldnt have seen any asex yet .I realy feel lonely in the world Im happy to be here.. (is there any persian guy here?)

Hi everybody. Im here because im asexual . I wana know u all r asex too? u know in the real world i couldnt have seen any asex yet .I realy feel lonely in the world Im happy to be here.. (is there any persian guy here?)

Hello there, Just joined and wanted to say hi! I am a 33 year old gay guy from Shropshire in the UK. I have always felt very alone as someone who has no desire for sex. I don't know many people as I have lived my life very much alone but I just wanted to ask you guys " am I the only gay guy who doesn't want sex?" Anyway "HI" again and if you want to chat then please feel free to get in touch. Thanks Rob

Greetings to all.

I am only now beginning to question my sexuality (at age 27). For as long as I can remember, I have never had a sexual attraction to anyone, though I do form very very deep emotional bonds, particularly with the opposite sex. I question, however, whether they could be called "romantic" or whether they are merely deep bonds of friendship.

It's peculiar: While my mind has never wanted to "go there", I definitely believe my body is capable of being aroused. It is a strange dissonance.

Also, the very concept of sex rather grosses me out.

Finally, I have on the rare occasion had rather intense sexual dreams and, in those dreams, it felt absolutely wonderful!

I am INFJ/INTJ on Meyers-Briggs and tend to get along better with guys as I seem to identify better with them emotionally, personality-wise and in terms of interests. I might even go so far as to say that I behave more in a masculine than in a feminine manner, though I exhibit characteristics of both.

Would the above, albeit brief, descrption of my sexuality (or lack thereof) classify me as asexual, or as something else entirely? Perhaps I also fit into a particular sub-category of asexuality (heteroromantic, maybe?)?

Thanks for any help you may be able to provide.

...I am also a Christian and may exhibit some aspie tendencies. I am also visually/hearing impaired. Not sure if this has any impact on the likelihood of my being asexual, but I thought I'd throw those in just in case.

...Also forgot to mention I have Mitral Valve Prolapse Syndrome/Dysautonomia. Again, not sure if that's relevant at all.

hi to all. im new member and asexual. nice to meet u;)

Hi,

I am 32 married with one child. I had chronic testicular pain since I was 19 and I had 3 surgeries to correct it at 19 and 20 which did more damage than good and now I have had both testicles removed.

My wife also had to have a radical hysterectomy which left she completely sexless.

Anyone else on here have similar case?